Replying to the last thread, even though somebody else already posted something close to my idea:

>>93046
>>93051
I hope it's all of these combined. Remember, they have access to a device that can combine any two objects. I'm imagining something like the freezer experiment from Ed, Edd, and Eddy, with stitches everywhere and cueballs for eyes. And bits of Dreambot Jade making it a cyborg. Like if Frankencastle was a furry.

It will be beautiful.

>>92998
Awww, thanks!

Something that forgot to mention about the last update:
DAT DICE ROLL

Also, Tawa' streaming right now.
http://www.livestream.com/tawawawa

>>93078
So like a "living", "breathing" version of Jade's Bunny. It'd be fitting, somehow.

>furry robot
Equius would be so proud of seeing his technology being used like that

This discussion might be cool
but
check out them troll rankings (from some dude on the forums):

Vriska 110
Tavros 82
Aradia 81
Terezi 78
Karkat 68
Equius 62
Sollux 55
Kanaya 53
Feferi 51
Eridan 47
Nepeta 33
Gamzee 32

Based on number of appearances/conversations/who cares.
As you can see the best troll got the highest and the rest are just sort of randomly scattered. Also, Eridan had 47 appearances? Really?

You know John and Jade have some really flickable teeth. I mean itd be so easy, just *flick* thats what you get for being nerds harharhar

>>93083
>As you can see the best troll got the highest
>Vriska
>best troll

>>93083
No, Anonymous. You are the best troll.
And by best I mean the worst.

sorry guys he is right.

vriska is objectively the best

>>93088
treason

>>93088
Most appearances != objectively best.

>>93089
That isn't karkat.

>>93091
I have to say, Karkat is the best.

Terezi is cool too though.

you guys know you love it

It'S aMuSiNg To Me, To ToRtUrE a CoP.
YoU EvEr LiStEn To K-bIlLy'S 'SuPeR sOuNdS oF tHe SeVeNtIeS' wEeKeNd?

>>93095
Holy crap.

>>93095
ArE yOu GoNnA sQuIrM aLl DaY, lItTlE lArVa?

Or ArE yOu GoNnA hAtCh?

Ugh fine here. I was trying to put this on pastebin but it refuses to take it for whatever reason so I used Google Docs instead, hopefully that works.

https://docs.google.com/View?id=dgv9xcjq_161grdj3rcc

Everyone is on a Bad Future roll so I decided to play with Aradia's POV. Enjoy. Writing while drunk is fun. Probably lots of mistakes.

>>93095

How can this get so much better each time you post something new.

this crossover is like the best mash-up ever

>>93104
... I never made the mashup/crossover connection before.
huh

From a certain point of view, I agree that Vriska is the "best" troll. People carry on long conversations about how great/awful she is, and only a negligible amount don't have some sort of strong reaction towards her. Whether you like her or not, she clearly had the biggest impact on the fanbase, which I believe is the best way to objectively measure the effectiveness of a character. Compare Nepeta, who gets reactions of "so cute :33 <3" to "pretty annoying." Can't really compare to "Awesome badass lol u mad" to "IRREDEEMABLE BITCH WHORE" to "Awww that's so sad :("

Actually I don't think anybody can compete with "IRREDEEMABLE BITCH WHORE" Maybe Jack around Descend.

>>93103
and then aradia was a witch

>>93105

allow me to reach into your subconscious and tell you things about yourself you never knew

i am the therapist

its me

>>93106

UNFORGIVABLERATBASTARD.gif

>>93113

See but it doesn't work because you aren't sexualizing pubescent girls.

Heheheh, hey Bea, weren't you the one moping around during Descend because Jack killed all the pawns and you were rooting for him or something?

>>93116

I was THE MOPING-EST

Actually, I just really wanted Jack not to be complete monster because his character is hilarious to me. He's just such an absolute whiny baby asshole but then it was like "dude you killed all these random people that was a dick move we're not friends anymore".

So I guess now we know what boondollars are used for.

Andrew confirmes: We are currently in a situation similar to A NOUN IS VERBED. A NOUN, VERBED after descend, which hopefully means we are switching to somewhere else in a few days.

I am so excited I can't even be bother to find a reaction image.

>>93120

YAY

>>93120

Oh and update

So they won but lost but won?

>>93123

They won the battle but got ninja looted by the kids (where ninja looted=breaking it after taking it).

>>93122

oh shit

hey scratch

>>93127

don't you mean

hey bec

>>93123
Imagine beating the final boss, and then the game crashes because the guy two doors down hacked his game so bad.

Also I guess the Rift is green-lightning powered after all. Hmm.

Oh god. I CAN FEEL IT. THE TRANSITION.

Wow wow this implies a bunch of implications about people and plots which I am going to ignore because it's 1 AM for me.

Oh man, I just realized that the Aradiabot army taking the brunt of the Black King's psychic attacks might be a parallel to the courtesan angel/anti-angel army aggressing DMK.

guys, update

guys, update

Also look: Vriska has her eye(s) back. Pretty clearly implies that Aradia killed her and she's using her dreamself.

So I guess Vriska did die somewhere between the smackdown on LOMAT and the final battle.

Only saying that because she has her 8 eyes in the update.

>>93135
>>93136

We're already discussing it numbnuts

>>93137>>93138
Maybe. Or she lived and just decided to switch places with her dream self like everyone was saying she and Tavros should do.

>>93139

My nuts aren't numb! I can feel them perfectly well, thank you very much!

>>93129
It's not Bec. Or at least, it's not just Bec. Remember, in the Trolls' prior harassment of the Kids, they made the claim that the Kids lost and then did whatever they did to fuck everything up. Whatever this is, it's somehow a consequence of a choice the Kids made in an attempt to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Which means that if Bec is involved, it's at the Kids' urging and not out of some heartrendingly arbitrary betrayal.

Haw, Vriska sneaks into yet another panel after people were complaining about her stealing paneltime from the others.

>>93142

Woah easy. I was only implying that Bec caused the scratch in whichever way, instead of Doc. No idea how but it came from the kid's side. Might even be a Bec-powered Jack doing it.

>>93145
Sorry. A lot of that was really just me thinking out loud, to be honest. No hard feelings, I hope?

>>93134
>Aradia's two blood colors: red and blue

>>93137 >>93138
One the one hand I'm sad because it means she died.
On the other hand, everyone died at one point and they're all more-or-less fine now, so I guess I'm not too bothered.
On the other other hand, It's kind of funny that Aradia ended up doing Vriska a favor, by giving her a way to get her vision eight-fold back.

And it looks like we've finally reached a point where a whole bunch of important stuff will finally come together and we'll hopefully get some queries resolved. Though I really want some flashbacks at some point to fill in the blanks regarding the trolls' session as well as all their interpersonal nonsense. No, I'm not sick of it yet. Hussie has turned me into an addict, and I could take a lot more of this before I OD.

I wish we had gotten to see a few of the missing pieces of the trolls' session that didn't get shown. Eridan's land, Karkat creating clone grubs, how Fef/Eridan's lususes died, etc

Of course we'll see more of the trolls so it's possible that a lot of things will get cleared up via explanation, such as the missing titles, but who knows if we'll actually get to see any more of what happened in the trolls' session.

Also fuck yes, Hussie you are the only person to make something you saw coming from miles away still shocking in its execution.

My scanner-lender is sick ;_;

>>93137

I think thats all dreamselves and this is how they all die.

>>93143
>stealing paneltime

>the THIEF of light

>>93159

Why is Tavros in his rocket car then

>>93161

i duno stop pokeing holes in my theory!

Fuck you Aradia. FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUU!x8

Oh and hey Scratch

>>93160

One could say she stole the spotlight.

Maybe her normal self didn't die, she's just using her dreamself for vision eightfold and normal arm. And flying? Can troll dreamselves fly, besides Sollux that is?

>>93166

Well you could.
If you're stupid.
Think I'm going to say something goofy here?
I'm not. That would be stupid.

>>93169

It's also pointless because a dream self waking up is supposed to be something meaningful, not just wake up just so it goes off to replace you in the next minute. Sollux is an exception because he had two.

>>93173
I dunno, it seems pretty logical to me for the trolls to have opted to use their "extra" lives for the boss fight in case something goes horribly wrong.

>someone at /co/ posts my post about the troll rankings I posted from the forums
>I'm posting about someone at /co/ posting about me posting something someone posted on the forums

Oh god homestuck is leaking into the real world

>>93166
Also our hearts.

Something from the Homestuck wiki entry for her caught my attention: "Most likely, Aradia would have killed Vriska if Tavros hadn't stopped her before she struck the final blow." So, it might still be that she survived all that. Ultimately it seems a moot point since they all die at least once anyway, but yeah.

>>93176

The wiki is terrible and always wrong.

>>93176
Except Tavros didn't do jackshit like always
Remember Sollux, when he died?His dream-self woke up right after.

>>93173
Is it really supposed to be a significant, spiritual awakening? Jade told Rose that she needed to get to the root of her subconscious troubles and discover her purpose in order to wake up, but players keep finding ways of waking their dream selves without involving any meaningful self-confrontation.

Like yeah, Sollux had two dream selves, but neither awakening was a paradigm shift for him. His friend snapped her fingers and put him to sleep, and then he died and had his second dream self smooched awake by a princess.

Rose had a lot of trouble waking up in the Bad End timeline, but that just meant that she was able to avoid it all when the timeline was destroyed and her future dream self went back in time and merged with Rose's dream self in the main timeline. Dave was bonked on the head with a ball of yarn to snap him out of his pseudo-awakened state. John woke up when Prospit's moon crashed into the Skaian battlefield.

There don't seem to be any rigorous requirements for someone to wake up.

It's late and I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

>>93178
He did what he does best; look visibly dismayed. Which might have been enough to stop Aradia.

Though like I said, moot point since everyone dies once anyway.

>>93179
I get what you mean. Early on it did seem like it was supposed to be this big deal involving some sort of self-revelation, but as the story's gone on it's become seemingly less profound and just a way for players to get a second chance.

>>93088
basically this 100 times over

I assume the final group of troll that make it through to the post-game veil where they troll the kids is a mix of both normal- and dream-selves. Like Dream Sollux, Real Tavros, Dream Vriska, etc, etc.

Would I be stupid for thinking this? I read a lot of posts where people assume all the trolls are either one or the other (dreams or reals) and I JUST DON'T KNOW :(

>>93188

Nope. Tavros has jelly-legs and Vriska has eight eyes, so they're probably all not one way or another.

>vriska the best troll
>not karkat
ludicrous

I'm in a nest of madmen

I can't wait till we get back to Jade. being Captain Obvious here but it's pretty easy to see she could be the one that fucks things up so bad, or at least has to do with it.

I don't think she'd prototype Bec though, that seems sort of mean. she loves her animals, and Bec is still alive and kicking. since he has such hax powers he probably just follows her around.

>>93196
It's you who is the madman, for not appreciating the Queen of Trolls

>>93103
Also why did nobody notice this fic, it is totally awesome

I'm interested in knowing how a scratch is an ordinary and even potentially beneficial part of the game that is actually recognised inside it. Hell what it even actually IS.

See I had been working with the idea that the Rift was this interdimensional temporal clusterfuck where all bets are off and amongst the massive swaths of destruction and oblivion, the potential to redirect destiny and change a universal timeline that was otherwise unchangeable exists. A one time thing that would highlight the story's themes of fate and free will by throwing all the "inevitability" out the window and putting the future in the hands of those willing to make it. That all references to inevitable failure and destruction were simply referring to this entity that simply could not be perceived, but which all believed to be oblivion.

But now it's this ordinary built-in game mechanic that even Aradia establishes as not the "Great Undoing" itself, but simply its facilitator. We don't even know if it's breaking rules by crossing sessions, since we don't even know what it's exact nature is.

That was my current running hope for an ultimately happy ending. As of now, everything's been thrown in the air again.

Maybe Rifts are like the console window of Sburb; they let you step outside the game, maybe change conditions around (pretty much everything Bec does), or switch to a different map (session),.

And maybe the rift that messed with the trolls isn't the Great Rift, just a rift. Maybe the Great Rift is whatever lets Lord English into the session (because there's no way this isn't going to end with them beating him).

>>93202

Yeah I think Lord English as the ultimate antagonist of the story is likely at this point, but I think he would definitely have ties to sburb itself.

As accepting as this fictional world is with certain abstract stuff like Fetch Modi and so forth, there's too much outside evidence to suggest that the transdimensional game itself doesn't have origins and purposes in the "real" world to which Lord English is presumably connected and by extension not only Doc Scratch but ALL First Guardians.

I mean, the idea of a "First Guardian", a planet's designated "god" if you will, is something that perhaps is easily accepted in such high fantasy scenarios. Like when the Doc Scratch pages came out, everyone was like "oh so that's where Bec came from, mystery solved". But nothing is ever that simple in Homestuck. Their very existence is yet another unanswered question.

I mean looking back it's pretty remarkable how little we still know about the story.

>>93138

Her real self could still be alive, maybe she's just using her dreamself to progress.

If she's not dead now though, she's probably going to be in a few minutes...Tavros did say all their dreamselves died at some point.

>>93197

Wait, we just saw Bec created earlier in the story by DD...And Kid!Bec is still at large in the present. What if the scratch is caused by a temporal paradox? If someone destroys Kid!Bec before he gets sent back into the past to become Earth's guardian...

>>93205
>If she's not dead now though, she's probably going to be in a few minutes...Tavros did say all their dreamselves died at some point.

Leaving Vriska a drooling prisoner in her broken realbody.

Unless that sweet diceroll healed her.

>Unless that sweet diceroll healed her.

In my mind, the named result of rolling 8x8x8x8x8x8x8x8 is nothing less than 'A Miracle.'

And now, because I'm a fucking dork, I have figured out what Pokemon each of the four kids would have if they were Pokemon trainers:

John
Gengar
Mr. Mime
Gligar
Slowpoke
Wobbuffet
Metagross

Rose
Kadabra
Tentacruel
Spiritomb
Ponyta
Delcatty
Absol

Dave
Honchcrow
Scizor
Charizard
Shuppet
Salamence
Gyarados

Jade
Luvdisc
Bunneary
Skitty
Chikorita
Diglett
Arceus

>>93103
>>93198

Agreeing about this fanfic, it's the best thing I've seen written about Homestuck because it underlines something that *did* happen, *must have* happened in the story, but something that would be easy to overlook or not realize. So easy the characters themselves probably won't realize the magnitude of what's happened.

Were I an artist, and I am most certainly not, I would draw the scene of karkat being the last to die, cradling Terezi, screaming how it can't end like this. A sky only half-full of Aradias behind him, the only words being their consensus "Not enough".

Reposting from the romart thread :3

>>93103

This is excellent. Aradia really doesn't get much attention and even then, her characterization tends to be very shallow. I guess most people find her boring. But hey, how else could one respond to being fully aware their entire life is basically a tool in the hands of greater forces? What I think most people don't realize is that she has always had a hand in the course of events. She had to do the things she did because they had to happen. But they had to happen not only because that was what the voices dictated but because she couldn't give up on a slim chance of a semi-happy ending for her friends. A determination she's evidently kept through some truly unbelievable shit.

That really shows through here but in the same quiet and resigned manner she's shown throughout the story instead of in an overly dramatic way most fanfiction writers fall victim to. Props.

>>93219

That picture would feature the Saddest Rainbow Ever. All the times people drew the full lineup of trolls as their colours, picture that only now it's twelve curled up corpses in colourful smears.

>>93221

Manly Little bitch tears ; -;

>>93218
I agree with basically everything.

Did you pick Kadabra instead of Alakazam because of its looks? I think I see where you're coming from. Also, you can probably swap Chikorita with Sunflora, but it's a good choice nonetheless.

>>93103>>93219>>93220>>93221>>93223
I both love this and hate this because it makes me so sad. ;__;

>>93153
This is so late but Vriska was the one who struck the final blow. They couldn't have defeated the King if she hadn't rolled that 8^8 die or whatever.

Vriska's right eye is lucky.

Aradia didn't kill her for revenge, she killed her because Vriska needed that eye for her dice to land that final hit.

>>93229
>Vriska's right eye is lucky.

uh

what?

Her bad luck was her own stupid fault (e.g. leaving crap around her room to step on and blaming her luck instead of cleaning up) and Doc Scratch's (somehow; he seemed to be punishing her for hording his magic cue ball).

>>93229

Go away, M. Night.

>>93179

I always thought that Vriska was always mentally troubled (even more so than normal) from the fact that Aradia didn't care that she killed her early on in Hivebent.

Vriska always wanted her to take some action, but she didn't so that made her really mad as if even if she killed someone she wouldn't get the attention she wanted. She would basically be left alone.

And when Aradia got all her memories and emotions back, she made sure she confronted Vriska about her actions. Even when Vriska was getting thrown around like a rag doll, in my mind, I would think she felt a little closure when Aradia responded to her in that horribly negative way. Because it meant that she actually felt one way or another about the whole situation. Aradia wasn't 0k with it anym0re. That's what Vriska wanted to see.

Plus, isn't that like all trolls? They try to garner hate by saying or doing inflammatory things. But if you ignore them, it's likely they'll just get upset over the fact you're not getting upset.

Hahaha! Troll logic.

>>93250

It's probably wrong to say they've buried the hatchet, but there does seem to be a certain amount of ground covered between the two of them at this point. Cooperation and perhaps even future reconciliation are not impossible.

Actually, I got the impression that in true narrative arc fashion the trolls had 'resolved' their interpersonal disputes just in time for their big action climax against the Black King where they have to work together. But then, like any good sequel, in the post game their supposed happily-ever-afters all fall apart and the issues reveal themselves unresolved.

So things between Vriska and Aradia might be stable at the point that the game ends (perhaps thinking themselves 'even'), but it won't be until this post-game world where they'll actually resolve their differences.

Rereading it made me realise how much I miss the kids. The troll's been great, but I'm glad we're getting back to the original gang soon.

Oh, and I just decided I'll dump a few favourite pesterlog moments here:

TG: the problem is i am up to my goddamn neck in fucking puppet dong
TG: i am enrobed in chafing, wriggling god fucking damned puppet pelvis
TG: an obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face
TG: you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively, fluffy muppet buttock
TG: im whirling in the terrible cyclone at the epicenter of my own personal holocaust of twitching foam noses
TG: its like a fucking apocalypse of perky proboscis here
---------------------
GC: 1 4M UNF4Z3D BY YOUR HUM4N BLUHS
---------------------
GA: Um Is This
GA: A Common Sort Of Practice In Human Courtship
GA: Watching Oblong Meat Products Tumble Into Places They Dont Belong
---------------------
GA: Okay Human Courtship Is Definitely A Strange Thing And Its Sort Of Blowing My Mind Listening To This
---------------------

That last one was a good example of "funny in hindsight".

I love the trolls, but I'll just be completely ecstatic when we see the kids again.

>>93178

Just being there would probably be enough. They used to be partners, remember? Good old utterly doomed Team Charge.

>>93259

Got that right. Even a dozen dead Aradiabots wouldn't come close to evening things out. Vriska is worth all the boring soulless trolls in the world.

iSN'T THERE ANYONE WHO KNOWS, uHH, wHAT 12TH PERIGEE IS ALL ABOUT,

>>93292
MY BRAIN IS FULL OF DAAAAAWW

Well this update feels less like a transition point than the last one, I think.
Maybe.

blargh I'm dead a million times

>>93307

...Hopeless encounters successfully won. A woman long dead, grafted to machines your builders did not understand. You follow the path, fitting into an infinite pattern.

That doesn't look good at all D:

>>93292
This is good. I am in need of happy after these rather gloomy updates. Aradia, you are such a downer.

>>93302
I dunno, I think it's an even firmer platform for returning to the kids. We're up to the current state of the trolls, drifting on a dead rock through a void.

Right now I'm feeling conflicted. I miss the kids a lot, but I'm sad to be leaving the trolls while there's still so much left unresolved.

>>93307
Anyone else find it morbidly comical how disinterested she seems about being killed horribly?

>>93318
Just you wait. There will be more reach around shenanigans and the two groups will unite.

OK so, trying to parse this.

1) Kids create a scratch in their session which also affects the fabric of the troll session.
2) Said scratch is positioned - in the troll session - at the center of Skaia, and somehow forces Lord English to reveal himself - whether this is a premature summoning or simply "blowing his cover" is unknown.
3) Lord English proceeds to decimate the Trolls, apparently having been thrown off by this turn of events. The trolls retreat from Skaia to the Veil, and English presumably proceeds to end the timeline of their incipisphere several hours later.

So in other words, whatever the kids did, whether purposefully or not, screwed up English's plan in a bad way. And unless the semi-highlighted conversation is deliberately misleading, Doc Scratch somehow considers the situation to be "not his problem", which means either that this English is not "his" English (again, the most likely interpretation), or that he is assuming the whole escapade was intentional.

Not really any point to this post, I guess. Just getting my thoughts together and double-checking that I didn't miss something obvious.

DAT UNICYCLE

SPOILER AHEAD

the trolls themselves are just manifestations of SBURB, they really never existed and are just lines of code

you waifu is just a line of code
there is a gun under the stump if you need it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbzUcgtMDFc
Diamonds Droog is so totally Leroy Brown
try to disregard the actual video though

>>93331
in a world where "just lines of code" can survive past the end of the program (exiles, ~ath curse) the distinction is basically a philosophical one

unless you're saying that they only exist as chatbots

in which case this whole digression seems kind of superfluous

>>93331

This is pretty meaningless seeing as how the Kids are technically manifestations of Sburb too! Also the meteors, which incidentally destroyed human civilization.

>>93333
welp
I will never unrealize this.

yo doc scratch is talking in the chatroom or something

andrew hussie is also a manifstation of sburb.

and we are too.

>>93338
Yeah, with Aradia.
And it's pretty obvious that he fulfilled his duties.

>>93339

"whoa" -neo, the matrix

>>93342
I bet he could think of something to do with all those c0pies.

>>93343

AUGH HOLY SHIT awesome update is awesome. I do miss how funny the kids are and all (every thing Dave says leaves me unable to breath), but I don't dislike the Troll arc at all. And this is TOTALLY WHY.

>>93342
GHOST ROBOT GIRL FRIENDS FOR EVERYBODY.

>>93347

Every single troll now able to fill every single quadrant, all with the same person! GENIUS

>>93352
Not just the trolls. EVERYBODY.

>>93346

Am I missing something here? It's just more monotonous exposition from Aradiyawn.

>>93342
I'm not sure I see that ending well for him, but he likes the abuse so I guess he'd die a happy troll. And of course raging Karkat goes well with everything.

>>93338
I could totally see Doc as a chat room predator
Want to come back to my place
hehe.. where is it
on the moon
...what

>>93356
ok i lol'd

:33 < have you gone shithive maggots ??
come on guys nobody wwants this! wwere supposed to be fucking professionals!
:33 < karkat, look. it's b33n quite a long time. a lot of jobs.
:33 < there's no n33d for this, man. lets just put our guns down,
:33 < and lets settle this with a fuckin' conversation.
EQUIUS, IF YOU KILL THAT MAN, YOU DIE NEXT. I REPEAT: IF YOU KILL THAT MAN, YOU DIE NEXT.
:33 < karkat, we have b33n friends
:33 < you respect my dad, and i respect you
:33 < but i will put fucking bullets right through your heart
:33 < you put that fuckin' gun down
:33 < now.
GOGDAMN YOU, EQUIUS. DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS.
:33 < KARKAT STOP POINTING THAT FUCKIN' GUN AT MY MORAIL !!

>>93362
you know that equius talks like this
D--> l00k at my a%

i think you mixed his an eridans speaking parts

well this is weird... 4chan banned me for a day for "posting a banned URL" when I hadn't posted anything all day, and then when the ban lifted I was able to get on for one minute until I was banned again for "posting a banned URL"

Looks like that's one place less I can go to talk about Homestuck

>>93338
Not any of your business my ass, Scratch. It's always your business when it comes to English.

Unless by "particular instantiation" he meant that he really didn't have anything to do with bringing him in, and it was premature by several hundred/thousand years. Which might be why English is enraged, there's nothing to eat and he's stuck there until he's destroyed everything.

>>93342
Equius had to have been perspiring very heavily through that whole battle.

>>93363
Auf, yeah I guess it's unclear. Equius (as Joe) doesn't have any lines in that excerpt, Eridan (as Mr. Pink), is yelling that from off camera. Oh well, it's just a throw away joke to go with the drawing.

SERIOUSLY YOUR CUSTODIANS WERE MORONS OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER. THEY SMELT HORRIBLE AND I REALLY DOUBT THEY HAD ANY SEMBLANCE OF INTELLIGENCE. ALSO YOUR NANNY'S FAT.

>>93369
othar delivers as usual

I'm glad people like the Aradia fic I did. Thank you for compliments. It was pretty fun to make. Even if I was drunk. :)

Thankfully I'm not drunk now so I guess I can share this with full shame. I laughed my ass off at the forums trying to make a troll dating sim since that's terribly silly. Besides, I figured if anyone is gonna get some 13-year old ass from a sim, it's Kanaya.

So I wrote this is mockery of the idea and dating sims in general, if only to see if I could get away with making a pester log.

And because Karkat would make the best (worst) Typical Dating Sim Best Friend Who Gives You Advice On How To Get Laid guy ever.

https://docs.google.com/View?id=dgv9xcjq_159d7rppvck

>>93376

This was so amazing I had to read it twice to properly savor it.

>Karkat and Kanaya: proceed to have the worst pickup artist schemes in all of troll history.

>>93364

4chan banned me for "spamming". I hadn't even posted there for most of the week. The ban was filed over a year ago, when I wasn't living in this flat and it didn't even have an internet connection, and the appeal had already been filled in by a "maloldtim@googlemail.com". I don't think any of this is normal.

I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering problems. Is anyone else having trouble?

Blarg for off-topic...

>>93383
Refresh your IP address by unplugging your modem and leaving it unplugged for 30 seconds. You probably just wound up with someone else's IP, and they had been banned.

>>93376
i would like to state for the record that i enjoyed this submission immensely
and i am saying this as a member of the production team for the project the work was written to lampoon
seriously other than the choice of protagonist this is pretty much what we're going for

>>93384

Marvellous! Worked like a charm.

Also, I'd play the shit out of a Kanaya-focused dating sim. It'd be a nice substitute for a proper Sburb RPG. ;_;

In b4 "enjoy your meteors"...

QUICK.

You have a copy of SBURB.


WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
(can be any even number)

WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE

WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE

WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS

WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS

>>93389

>other than the choice of protagonist

Then clearly you are going about it all wrong.

>>93393
>60
>A dead fish and a copy of The Odyssey.
>oh shit oh shit oh shit (not sure yet)
>slot-machine modus , have to pull the slot and hop I get something.
>cane-swordKind

>>93393
>Dicks
>Dicks
>Dicks
>Dicks
>....dickKind

>>93400

You should try codKind.

haven't we done this like six times already

>Computer watch, rocket chair, The Sitter

WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
>Blackjack Modus: Each item has a value between 1-10, and I have to beat or match a randomly generated number between 1 and 21 using the values of two or more items. Makes it very hard to get just one item out.

WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
>Chairkind

>>93404

durp herp

WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
>As many people as I can get from here. Genre savvyness and understanding the game beforehand can only help.

WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
>Self if reasonably possible, teddy bear otherwise.

WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE

>>93393
WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU:
My circle of best friends happens to be six people.
WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE:
Parappa the Rapper/Alias trade. My sprite is a rapping Jessica Jones dog. She mostly just rhymes "fuck" with "fuck".
WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS:
Disorganization modus, in which all my items are captchalogued where I'd never think to look for them.
WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS:
Skepticismkind. I don't have anything remotely weapon-ish in my room, so I will pick up my books and rationalize the imps to death.
WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE:
The God Delusion + God Is Not Great + Why I Am Not A Christian = The Freethinkiller
Laptop + Blue Beetle trade = Khaji Dell
Clothes + Hotel Dusk = Sketchy greyscale clothes

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
RL Friends, 6 people including me.
>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
Frozen shark fins and Loudspeakers
>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
ANYTHING I CAN GET MY HANDS ON
>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Cooking
>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
OrigamiKind

Yeah I practically just listed everything in front of me
I'm eating dinner.

>>93393

WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
>Swiftly recruit RP group

WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
>Tons of lego
>Warhammer Lizardmen figure
>Atomic robo comic
>Moose plush
>Lego Lich

WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
>EVERYTHING

WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
>junkbot modus

WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
>Staffkind

>>93376

Are you going to continue this? Please say yes.

>>93362
These keep getting more amazing. The thought of Nepeta talking so seriously while still using the ":33<"s is rather surreal.

>>93369 through >>93374
Othar you are a lovely person.
>Jade with the coconuts.
This has me grinning like such a doofus right now.

>>93393
>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
Um... let's skip that one.

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
Dead scorpion + Valkyrie action figure.

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
Dagon figure + walking stick = Staff of Eldritch Horror
Computer + sunglasses = Compushades
snake skin + brigandine = Serpent-scale Armor

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Rucksack: I have to rummage around and try to find what I'm looking for by touch.

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
staffKind

>>93403
Yes, but it's fun.

>>93393
>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
I would guess 2-3 RL friends, and 2-3 online friends, depending on flakiness

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
A router and my old dog's remains

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Heapkind, all my items are in a big fucking pile I have to sift through to find anything

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
Suits
so many classy suits

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
Nightsick-kind, it's what I'm trained in.

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
Probably you guys+a few of my friends, all very adept at playing the Sims, and have read the story

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
Likely my mother, since she'd be the most useful and would probably die soon anyhow in those circumstances. Also food, just to see how it'd affect the universe.

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
EVERYTHING && EVERYTHING

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Wallet modus. I place everything in my folding pictures, and have to point them out as if they were family in order to retrieve them. "And here's my lovely laptop, bless his heart, only three years old <3"

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
I've thought about this a lot. In the end, either Sword-canekind or Clubkind.

although the gamey aspects of the comic were good for a laugh and to theorize useful tools for the characters to use (which is moot as the suggestion boxes seem closed endefinitely) i never found it compelling enough to think of what sorts of things i would create myself

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
Three of my RL friends, four of you people.

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
Stuffed animal I've had since infancy && headless knight figure = sir beaglesprite

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
Cigarettes && Pocketwatch = Smoke Breaker (pause time for the duration of a cigarette burning down)
GQ && 1930's Coins = Killing You Smoothly (copper-colored depression-era pinstripe suit)
Killing You Smoothly && Pocketwatch = All The Time In The World (suit styled after an elegant grandfather clock)
Leather Gloves && All The Time In The World || GQ = The Face's Hands (punches from the fist wearing these gloves are delivered at random points in the punchee's timeline, remembered as grainy b/w film noir sequences)
Whistles Vol. 1 || She-Hulk no. 1 && Coin Collection = Prankster's Gambit (coins inscribed with inane poetry which explode into a variety of often useless things when read aloud)
Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle && Whistles Vol. 1 || e-reader = And It Won't Stop (vial of ice-cream-nine, the flavor that would end the ice cream world)
And It Won't Stop && Straight Razor = Cold Cuts (foes gonna chillax fo'rizzle when you send ice through their veins with the littlest slicizzle)
etc.

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Numismamodus, coin-op vending machine in the style of old cigarette machines

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
knuckleKind

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
My friends, obviously.
>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
My dead tarantula and deadpool poster
>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
Almost anything that I can use as a weapon and/or it would look cool
A must: Army knife + broken rusty scissor
>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Deck of cardsmodus, it's all about luck
>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
brokenscissorKind

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
my internet friend circle, which honestly comes out to four people.

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
Mr. Saturn plushie

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
TV && LAVA LAMP = ENDLESS ENTERTAINMENT

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Catalog.

I can choose from anything I have, but I have to wait for the order to come in.

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
letteropenerkind

god look what shipping has done to me
getting drunk, butchering the classics
http://tindeck.com/listen/phuo
D=

Okay, probably going to regret this, but time for some TROLLS and the POKEMON they would have. Each troll gets two, except Sollux, who gets an extra slot for a pair of dual pokemon:

Aradia:
Giratina
Mismagius

Tavros:
Tauros
Celebi

Sollux:
Plusle/Minun
Vespiquien

Karkat:
Kingler
Primeape

Nepeta:
Luxray
Persian

Kanaya:
Gardevoir
Frosslass

Terezi:
Garchomp
Sableye

Vriska:
Ariados
Drapion

Equius:
Rapidash
Rhyperior

Gamzee:
Ampharos
Mime Jr.

Eridan:
Kingdra
Milotic

Feferi:
Tentacruel
Octillery

>>93433
I'm not sure what's happening here, but it was entertaining to listen to.

Also I got bored and did some counting. Out of the 150 threads on +/co/, 18 are Homestuck threads, which means Homestuck threads account for 12% of threads on +/co/. Of course only one of those threads is active at a time, and the rest are the drained, autosaging remains of our ongoing madness.

>>93435
>Vriska:
>Ariados
>Drapion

Heh, I'm currently puttering around in Platinum, and Vriska is what I named my Drapion.

Fuck, I can't stop! Midnight Crew Pokemon!

Spades Slick
Honchcrow
Darkrai

Diamonds Droog
Umbreon
Seviper

Hearts Boxcars
Tyranitar
Dusknoir

Clubs Deuce
Drifloon
Slowbro

  The troll's current situation (namely Karkat and Terezi) reminds me of Jim Croce's Time in a Bottle.

Anyway...
>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
EVERYONE. And my girlfriend and my best friend, natch.

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
Pre-Medium, I would try to alchemize/make the most horrible freezer experiment ever. Then I would prototype it. Spiders, lizards, ants, moths, cicada skins, bits of roadkill, bits of broken toys, all jumbled together in an abomination of a kernel sprite. Then after entering the medium I'd try to prototype myself from a doomed future, because that is the best idea ever and nothing can possibly go wrong.

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
Rocket pack && Toilet = Hot Shit
Hot Shit && Recliner = Laziest Boy
Collapsible Rake && Holy Bible = Gardener of Eden
Laptop && Holy Bible = SUPERBOOK
Big Red Coat && Pinstripe Suit = There are no words to describe how awesome this would be. So many pockets.
Swiss Army Knife && Computer Repair Kit = Insulated Multi-Tool
Insulated Multi-Tool && Collapsible Rake = Insulated Farming Utensil
Revolver && Swiss Army Knife = Swiss Army Bayonet

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Array. Anything else is overly complicated and completely idiotic. For that matter, why not keep things in your pockets?

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
collapsiblerakekind. Presumably, as a Homestuck reader and a Texan, I also have access to pistolkind.

>>93435

Tauros doesn't have epic enough horns for Tav.

Okay, I'll do the Felt and then I'm done. They get one mon each:

Itchy
Electrode

Doz
Shuckle

Trace
Sharpedo

Clover
Jirachi

Fin
Feraligator

Die
Medicham

Crowbar
Weavile

Snowman
Spiritomb

Stitch
Alakazam

Sawbuck
Snorlax

Matchsticks
Magmortar

Eggs
Whiscash

Biscuits
Quagsire

Quarters
Xatu

Cans
Slaking

Doc Scratch
Mewtwo

Lord English
Missingno.

>>93444

I was trying to avoid using the 5th gen since we know so little about them, but rest assured that if I were using them Tavros would be all over that dude

>>93438
get it cause they're on the moon
and they're dancing
look, this seemed a lot more clever at the time

Okay, more numbers. I admit I'm tired, but I checked my math, and I don't think I've screwed-up.

As of typing this, I counted a total of 18,889 posts on +/co/. Of those, 8,439 are Homestuck posts. That means about 45% of posts on +/co/ are Homestuck posts.

WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
>Unsure. Needs to be something dead or doomed, though. Preference to something with an obvious weakness or weak spot pre-medium and something that is open and easy to communicate with post-medium.

WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
>Some sort of mobile computing device for communication, then clothing with hard materials to produce armour, then alchemize rations and ammunition as necessary.

WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
>Array. Pick objects from the array as necessary.

WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
>GunKind. Shoot things with guns like a regular person.

>>93451
I'm shamed to confess I wasn't intimately familiar with the song being covered (although I was generally aware of it), so certain elements were lost on me until I used the Google to reduce my ignorance.

In short, it is clever, but I am not.

Plus I am incredibly tired, and I've been playing with numbers, which is dangerous.

>>93452
Do you mean posts that haven't fallen off the board yet?

>>93453
you are a very boring person arent you

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU

I'd hop onto this thread and say "WHO WANTS PLAY". I had a dream once where Bones was my server and he kept rifling through my shit. Plus you are all literally insane so it should be fun.

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE

My dad has a huge collection of tacky as hell native american shit so probably a figurine and my dead dog's ashes. COYOTESPRITE. worst sprite

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
terrible puns?!

Laptop+contacts= EyeBM
Bear trap we inexplicably have in the house+Dad's old boxing glove=Fist Do No Harm
Fancy Black Dress+Bullet Proof Vest=Policeman's Ballgown

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS

Deque modus: I can only take things that are stacked at the font and the back.

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS

Fistkind. I may have weak little noodle arms but I can be STRONG

oh goodness this is silly

>>93461

Bea, for about a second I thought you wrote Depeche Modus. To retrieve items you'd need to write an album about it that goes gold in the UK.

>>93464

>Depeche Modus

That is such a beautiful pun aU.

In order to get your item you have to reach out and touch it.

>>93453

I've been thinking about what to prototype and it is a challenge. For communication my dead uncle seems like a natural choice - he was always a reasonable man, very honest and direct. Not an ideal choice since he will likely be forced to couch everything in sprite-speak anyway, but not bad.

Similarly hard to think of a weakness to impart. I thought a simple piece of white paper might make everyone more vulnerable (particularly to fire and water). Possibly a satchel of gunpowder, even, to make them explosive (although I may come to regret that). Materials are not a guarateed solution, since any material in sufficient density becomes resistant to attack and there's no way to control the quantity available to an enemy.

I've been trying to think of finding a way to impart blindness or being crippled as well. Perhaps prototyping a mouse with his eyes plucked out and paws broken would work - consider that the harlequin took its mutilations with it in the sprite form.

>>93474

I want to be your server so I can make your carefully laid plans go so awry.

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
My friends who happen to fit a 5 letter naming convention

Of cours to make a 5th the 5th person is No One

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
A fish that has been sitting dead in our dead aquarium for MONTHS
Or our recently deceased kittens
AND my stuffed pig

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
Junk drawer
I have to dig and rummage physically to find my shit

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
Disckind
I'd have chakram, frisbees, and I'd alchemize one fo those disc shooter guns with my laptop to make a programable CD shooter
>explode.exe

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
36 people, that being some friends, a few family, and other.

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
The life-size nutcracker I have sitting in my room covered in all sorts of things pre-medium, and then some items relating to my Great Grandfather or Grandmother.

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
Golden Shovel && Nutcracker's Halberd = Dig Dugged
Dig Dugged && Iron = THE GROUNDFUCKER
Laptop && Glasses = Supa'Vision
Supa'Vision && Steampunk Goggles = Infa'Dread
Camera && Pack of Googly Eyes = Googly Pix'
Nutcracker's Halberd && Longsword = Dastardly Dicer
Pic. of other Great Grandfather && Steampunk Goggles = Das Greyviewer
Poster of John Belushi && The Full Monty Ad = Belushi Hunk Rump (oh god why ;_;)
40's Overcoat && White Tuxedo = Smooth Criminal
20's Driving Cap && Steampunk Goggles = Dastardly Haberdashery Drivers' Dans

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
threat modus, I have to play good cop-bad cop to get my items out

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
halberdKind

What's bugging me is the fact that I don't know how much Sburb accepts images to make items. I think it needs at least one item to be physical, otherwise it'll just make an image combining both (duh), but even then it might reject shitty images or make a bunch of useless stuff. I mean, if your computer is still working, what stops you from printing a shitload of stuff and combine them with things laying around your house? For example, if it wasn't for the cost to alchemize them, you could probably print the image of an exoskeleton and combine it with your getup, or print an image of any ludicrously lightweight scifi rifle and combine it with an improvised spear or something.

Also, I'm not sure what are the consequences of not prototyping the kernelsprite with the deceased or doomed. I guess it doesn't make much difference, but there's no way of telling if your sprite won't be an asshole and go through the trouble of finding a dead fly somewhere around the house and OOPS JUST TRIPPED into it.

>>93490

Obviously all of the alchemizing is done for the sake of the comic, and it makes no god damn sense logically.

The best explanation is that the game is fated to be programmed with whatever the logical combination would be of whatever you alchemized.

>>93376
>Dating Game Fic Parody
This is hilarious. Fuck, I'd read more of this.

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
ALL OF YOU. I will server for Bea :3c

the rest idk I'll make things up as I go along. That's how I roll. It's more fun that way! And usually more open to injury... but I have a high pain tolerance!

>>93444

YEEEEAH AFROBULL!

>>93376

Oh man. I like the cut of your jib, bro.

>>93376
Okay, so this was pretty fucking great. I approve, sir/madam!

>>93495
>>93461
>>93420
ALL of us? That'd be a big session.
I build with lots of lego and are addicted to map editors. I'd be the greatest server player, I promise

>>93497

YOU. YOU WILL BE MY SERVER.

YES ALL OF US. AND ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE IN A RAGING INFERNO THAT IS POST-APOCALYPTIC EARTH. HAHAHAH FRIENDS YOU SEE THE JOKE I MADE THERE?

>>93474

Hey, remember when we were all wondering what'd happen if somebody had prototyped with Tavros's broken legs? Or alchemized his legs with stuff?

I don't have anywhere to go with this I just thought it was friggin' hilarious.

I bet the whole scratch thing goes into infinity.
Lord English destroys a session before it can be won and then scratches into another.

>>93501

I prototype my dead cat + Tavros' sawn off legs.

>>93495

Yay! That way Bones won't look at my stuff.

I will be happy as long as I get to uproot someone's toilet.

>>93505

I can't wait for The Land of Laughs and Showtunes and The Land of White and Noise.

Land of Hobos and Mutts.

>>93507

Land of Mashups and Sirens

Anonymous you better have some good lands, like The Land of Chocolate and Cake or something.

Whoa, big ass update!

>>93510

So, the trolls created the Kids' universe?

I'm cool with that...I think

>>93510
oh my goooooooood

So that's the power of Skaia...

Then later, it turns out the kids made the troll universe, causing a cosmic double reach around.

gog
DAAAAAAAAAMN

NOOOOOO

WE NEVER SAW ERIDAN'S LAND

WE NEVER SAW IT

WE CAN'T GO BACK YET

So the gods are trolls... somehow this makes sense.

also ==>

>>93517
FUCK ERIDAN'S LAND MAN
THAT PRICK DESERVED TO BE LEFT BY FEFERI AND ALOT OF THINGS THAT ALREADY HAPPENED TO HIM
I WANTED TO SEE HERO MODE GAMZEE
WHERE IS IT

>>93517
IT'S TOO LATE, WE'VE PASSED THE POINT OF NO RETURN!

Oh, trolls... You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

Seriously though, that fucking sucks. But I wonder how the process of creating a new universe goes, like how much of the trolls' own personalities and desires went into the formation of man.

WHAT'S GOING ON ANYMORE MAN?! I'M SCARED! Although this begs the question of the troll's universe...Karkat mentioned like what 48 signs....does that mean there was a session in the past with like 48 players? So confused and in wonder

>>93521
+4chan /co/: BRACE FOR IMPACT IN A SILLIER MANNER!

>>93491
yeah, I guess it's silly
now excuse me while I'm being a baby here

>WHO IS PLAYING WITH YOU
I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.
But a session of strangers would be even more interesting.

>WHAT DO YOU PROTOTYPE
A lizard toy pre-medium, and a Thomas Paine image post-medium. THOMAS PAINE IS A LIZARD AND ALSO MY SPIRITUAL GUIDE.

>WHAT DO YOU ALCHEMIZE
If images can be used to recreate stuff:
Exosuit Img && Pile of Clothes = Fashionable Exoskeleton
Metal Pipe && Claymore Img && Feather = Lightweight Polesword
Lighter && Garden Hose = Wash 'Em Burn (oh god this pun)
Cell phone && Desktop (old cell phones blow)
Bicycle && Jetpack Img = Skyrider

>WHAT IS YOUR FETCH MODUS
filecabinetModus, search for items alphabetically!

>WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE SPECIBUS
metalpipeKind I guess?

so
wait
The trolls created the kids' universe?

==>

Looks like we're back to the kids now.

>>93515
Hussie would so do this that I want to treat you as my new prophet.

The kid's "universe" was written out in red and the trolls' blue. Which might mean something. Maybe. idk.

SOLLUX WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO

>>93527

Yes.

>Wash 'Em Burn (oh god this pun)

heheheheheheh

we saw Eridan's land. It was just a big teal background

Wait, the session before the trolls had 48 players

GO BACK HUSSIE LET'S SEE THAT ONE

>>93534
see >>93521

>48 troll zodiacs

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004391
this session had 48 players, according to the arrow
we were the first universe @_@

>>93536
No, that was only 40!

We were somewhen else.

So the Trolls created the kids universe, the kids might create the troll universe, but then it turns out that both groups actions create the ultimate mind fuck, because they create ANDREW HUSSIE HIMSELF!

WE'RE BACK WITH THE KIDS!! FINALLY!

>>93539
And then it cuts to young Grandpa.

One day I'll find out what Homestruck is about

Imagining the trolls as Greek gods is awesome. I wholly approve of this new pantheon.

>>93538

We're now going to cut back to the kids...For a single panel, then we get another forty months in which Hussie regales us with the long, boring and tedious session that led to the creation of the trolls session.

>This update.

> CG: YOU ALL TRACE THE MYTHOLOGICAL FOOTSTEPS OF YOUR BELOVED HUMAN SUPERMAN WHO'S REALLY JUST A MUSCULAR CAUCASIAN ALIEN.
> CG: IT'S HILARIOUS HOW HUMANS WORSHIP HIM AS A PINNACLE OF HUMAN HEROISM AND VIRTUE BUT HE ISN'T EVEN HUMAN.
> CG: ACTUALLY IT'S INCREDIBLY PATHETIC.
> CG: BUT ALSO IN A WAY KIND OF ADMIRABLE.
> CG: BECAUSE IT MEANS DEEP DOWN YOU ALL MUST REALIZE WHO YOUR DADDY IS.
> CG: WE ARE, BITCHES.

lol.

>>93545
I'm0kaywiththis.jpg

>>93547

>>93547
It's science bitches.