1. Pour a lot of oil into the pan.
2. Crack an egg and drop that stuff onto the boiling oil.
3. Slightly tilt the pan, making sure the egg is nearly submerged in oil.
4. Leave the egg alone, use a mixing spoon to scoop up and cover the top of the egg with oil.
5. Finish when desired color is reached and dry egg of oil by placing it on soaking paper. The egg should be crispy.

Half-assed frittata-like thing:
1. Brown some crumbled sausage, or grill some finely chopped chicken, in a pan. Preferably a smaller pan.
2. Add a fistful or so of spinach, frozen or fresh, doesn't matter.
3. Mix that shit all up and bunch it fairly close together in the center of the pan.
4. Turn the pan to medium-low heat.
5. Crack three or four eggs in a bowl. Beat the shit out of those fuckers like you were making scrambled eggs.
6. Pour the eggs straight onto the meat and spinach.
7. Let it sit there for 6 or 7 minutes. Basically until you can get a spatula under it without it freaking out.
8. Attempt to flip the whole thing over with a spatula. If you succeed, congratulations! Let it cook a few minutes longer, then top it with mild salsa and eat it.
9. If you failed, whatever! You've likely got several chunks of cooked egg with meat and spinach- by this point I usually just scrambleify it, add a bit of salsa, and put it in a bowl.

I've managed to make it correctly exactly once. Every other time I end up with a plate of delicious disappointment.

>half-fry the toppings you want in a thickbottomed frying pan
>beat your eggs together with a splash of milk and some seasoning
>add omlette mix to frying pan on a medium heat
>swirl it around the pan
>as it cooks, push holes in the middle of it with the spatula, allowing the uncooked mixture to fill the holes
>shoogle it about so it doesn't stick to the bottom but don't flip
>once it's about half-cooked or the bottom is as brown as you want it, stick that shit under a grill on medium heat
>if you want cheese on your omelette add it somewhere around here to save yourself from the horror of burn cheese and the confusion of "is that raw egg or melted cheese"
>take it out whenever it's ready
>EAT THAT FLUFFY FLIP-FREE NEAT OMELETTE

INGREDIENTS, WHAT YOU GONNA NEED
>6-10 Eggs depending on desired servings
>2-4 Stuffed chicken sausages, I prefer green peppers and provolone, cut into rounds
>Roasted red pepper, buy the jarred and mince a few pieces
>Spinach, all the goddamn spinach, chopped fine
>Grape tomatoes, cut in halves (these are optional)
>Fresh parsley
>Generous helpings of shredded cheese, preferably parmesan or mozzerella
>Cast-Iron Skillet, these bitches aren't right with any other pan
PREPARATION, COOK THAT BITCH UP
>Get that sexy skillet on your range, medium heat
>Butter that bitch up, little oil, yeah unf
>If your ingredients aren't prepped get on that shit you retard
>Add your sausages to the heated pan and toss them in the butter and oil to brown a bit
>Add the roasted red pepper and the grape tomatoes, continue to let simmer, stirring generously
>Add chopped spinach, let simmer for about two minutes and continue to stir
>Admire that fucking color, you could serve this concoction by itself goddamn
>Stir the cheese of your choice into your eggs and pour them into the pan
>Let sit on medium heat for about three minutes, to cook the bottom half
>Set your oven to broil
>Sprinkle on a bit more cheese with the parsley and any other fresh herb you like
>Admire those goddamn colors again and remove the skillet from the heat
>Toss that bitch into the oven and let the broiler do its work
Now if you followed those steps correctly you're going to have a delicious, brown, fluffy, cheesy delight in a ridiculously hot pan. Also you may want to add a bit more oil to the pan before adding the eggs, I'm still having issues with it sticking a bit after going in the oven.