Oh my heaven's I am starting to look like Grizzly Fucking Adams, I need to shave. Why on earth did I leave my razor at home?

>>274413
Use your heat vision.

>>274415
And that's how I set my face on fire.

I have said this already, but today was the best day ever. Trapeze lessons as a date with identical twins. >BEST> DAY>EVER

I used all my super awesome days for the summer. I look forward to celebrating iffy days until the end of the month.

Well, I checked again on that choice of the Toxic Avenger.

Turns out I'd only be able to talk about the broadway play, of which I've never seen, instead of the Troma movies.

Yeah, I'm cool with Stanislavski now.

I think me and Samnee have of those "ur so amazing" "NO U R" "NO U" things Kelly talks about

Except, he is actually the amazing one.

either way

-glee-

Just because I feel like it.

Guess who just got a Vallone Merit Scholarship, and is spending it on a new PC?

>>274430

  I can only stand Akon with Kardinal Offishall acting as buffer.

In somewhat related news, I like Nicki Minaj, she's fun, not afraid to get silly and enough booty to last for days. DAYS.

>Stressed as fuck
>Just want a day to myself
>Everyone keeps taking up all my free days.

Quit making me be sociable, I am getting nothing done!

>Can't do math anymore because brain is full of fuck
>pass out for an hour
>wake up and look at numbers
>realize i was doing it right... and that the numbers are the ones that are full of fuck

>visit my best bro who is still in college
>free parking I usually use is full up due to some dumb sporting event
>forced to pay $9 for 3 hours for a spot
>later: oh shit bro my meter expires in 5 minutes let's go!
>leave the dorm, walk for those 5 minutes
>see my car, see that nobody is around it
>let's chit chat another 5
>get in my car
>notice a parking ticket
>look at the time
>it was written for the exact minute I was going to pull out

So this fucking university has the resources to hire psychic meter maids but not a few patrol officers to prevent the string of rapes, armed robberies, and burglaries that happen on this campus almost daily.

Guys I woke up early and went for a walk and Taco Bell has real tacos now (wtf) and I lifted weights and went to work and had a good time with my co-worker talking shit and getting our work-related issues off our chests and I have tomorrow off but I'm working with my dad but that's okay cuz I get paid almost immediately in cash and my hair doesn't look like shit today and I Knights of the Old Republic is less than 3 bucks and forgot about all dem other hot-shit PC games I already bought for stupid-low prices so it's like I gifted myself through time-warps and didn't fight with my mom at all today

I FEEL GOOD

>>274358
Hey, I'm black and I would LOVE to own/drive the General Lee; that car is boss. One of my favorite fictional cars as a kid.

Vegetarian discipline is going really well so far. I feel better, I look better, I probably smell better or something I dunno. People are commenting on how good I look. I'm keeping it up for the rest of the month at least. Although I want to be able to eat meat on my birthday :3

Also stopped skipping classes today. I like most of my classes, but one of my professors is this fat dude from Ontario who sweats a lot and keeps ending class early because he embarrasses himself and doesn't want to have to deal with it. We're behind on the material and the first test has been pushed back another week ( for the second time) which is kinda ridiculous. But I feel like it'll be pretty difficult to not get an A in a class that has no work.

So pleased, all my Visa documents turned up where they needed to be (despite the company initially thinking otherwise) and the evening spent listening to cheetamen remixes.

Hahaha I got depressed already.

Hahahahahahaha

Waiting to hear back about this job is fucking awful now that the 6 week mark is here. Fucking bureaucrats.

I use grooveshark to listen to terrible music I am too ashamed to download.

I will not tell you how many top 40 pop singles I have on there.

a lot

>Check my activities for the weekend.
>Going to celebrate a friends birthday ina rock themed bar in saturday.
>Sunday is first comic book convention in this country ever.
This is gonna rock!

Also, tomorrow is Independence Day, so that means I'll have some more hours of sleep.

>Just saw Willie Nelson
>The old timer's still got it, and how!

>Driving along the road.
>See turtle helplessly trying to cross the road.
>Take it to the other side.
>Feel awesome the rest of the day.
Oh the joys of animals.

>>274469
you saved his life

drinking shitty dollar store wine, woe is me

but hey i just spent like five bucks on honey. six months from now ill be drinking the sweet viking nectar and nothing will stop me

>>274469

Dawww, he'll tell his grandkids about you! And most likely live until you have grandkids as well, given how long they live!

I did the same thing for a toad once, but all I got for my trouble were warts on my hand. Don't tell me it's just a wives' tale.

>>274475
you should always wash your hands after touching any sort of wild animal really.

Or even certain domesticated ones.

>>274477
I once brushed against a hipster, you can bet I took multiple showers.

Gah. Cold sore.

>job market
>time is burning
>snow is coming
>money is not.

Doesn't feel very good, man.

Well, in about 5 hours time I'll be at a speed dating event.

Should be interesting.

>>274488
How do those things work by the way?
I've herd of them, but I do not know any details.

VISTA UPDATE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY COMPUTER

Everything looks even shittier than before.

>>274490
Wat? You're having computer problems now too?
Can you describe them here or in the thread on /tek/? I'm curious what you're experiencing.

>>274489

>>274492
I posted this in /tek/ but baleeted it. Basically after last night's update I woke up to this flay grey mess and couldn't change it back. But I just ran ccleaner and restarted it and it's back to normal.

Good news: Bayern Munich are playing tonight.

Bad news: my best friend has just been told she has roughly two years to live during which she will probably have a number of strokes.

Really bad news: Bayern haven't been on great form lately, it's likely they'll lose.

>>274496
I actually prefer the flat grayness. It's basic, it's clean..
But for whatever reason last night, Microsoft informed me that my Intel Management Engine Interface was missing a driver.

How the fuck a driver just turns up missing, I have no idea. I think I'm having hardware problems. Again. Because those fuckers at Geek Squad refuse to check out the motherboard or power supply.
Arrrgh.

>>274498
I don't know jack about computers, but whenever a restart or cleaning doesn't fix something I don't like, I just go for a system restore and it usually works.

>Go to burlesque show
>friends say I could perform
>"Well I'd need to get 7 minutes of material together..."
>They meant the dancing/stripping part

>>274501
Why not multiclass as a stripper/comedian?

>>274503
We decided I'd go out in a bathrobe like I'm about to dance, then sit down and start with the racist jokes

  Guess what this is a commercial for before it shows up.

>>274445
>So this fucking university has the resources to hire psychic meter maids but not a few patrol officers to prevent the string of rapes, armed robberies, and burglaries that happen on this campus almost daily.

Think about which one makes them more money and you have your answer. :P

>mfw some fag from Cali mistakenly called me & woke me up.

I don't know anyone in California that would have my number. Though, I probably shouldn't had called back...

>Female celebrity in nerdy movie
>does an interview
>"so you are in a nerdy movie, are you a nerd?"
>"OH MAN I AM A HUGE NERD. LET ME TELL YOU WHAT A BIG NERD I AM. AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. YEAH."
>no details given.

NAMES. GIVE ME NAMES. Or else I'll just assume you're pandering to fanboy dreams and not actually a nerd/geek/gamer/what have you.

>canada shipping prices

u suck post office but i will DEAL WITH IT

>>274506
I stopped doing that with commercials a long time ago.

>>274506
Is it bear spray? I bet it's bear spray. It's totally bear spray!

>not bear spray

Fuck this game.

>>274506
First thought was Ritalin, then Facebook, then anti-pedophilia software for Facebook, then some kind of cereal maybe.

Welp, I'm dressed up nice, well-scrubbed and I just read half a volume of Yotsub&!, just to put me in a good mood. Oh, and I have some tic-tacs.

I think I'm ready for tonight.

>>274516
I want you to succeed.

>Good morning dog, how are you?
>HI BITE CHOMP CHEW CHEW CHEW
>Dammit dog. You're misbehaving too much, I'm out.
>WHY YOU LEAVE ME WHINE WHINE WHINE

For two months I have been teaching him biting is not good social interaction, if you bite me I will make the fun and games stop. This fucking dog, so full of derp. I can't even fight back, since I can't force him to the ground (too weak) and he thinks fighting is playing because of my brother. I've even wacked him on the nose a couple times out of desperation and NOTHING.

I feel like we should get him a companion or something, since my brother is being a flake and won't let him spend time indoors getting socialized properly, but I also see Bucky and his potential friend being assholes together.

Mind you he's a very very good boy when he's not a ball of energy, getting him tired out means walking for an hour and many, many nips along the way.

Gonna take him to obedience training soon.

>>274518
bite him back.

>>274518

A muzzle.

Seriously. When he bites put the muzzle on.

Emma hasn't bit anyone in months unless it's an accident while playing.

>>274507
Rape is big money.

>>274521
But it only pays in Rape Dollars.
The exchange is like 30 Rape Dollars to one US Dollar.
You seriously get raped on the exchange.

I have discovered it is very hard to drive with torn palms. Very much wishing for the mutant healing factor to kick in.

I saw this and thought of you.

>>274546
:I

>>274546
>implying Michigan is America's anus and not Southern California

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>Get all made up for fun/practice
>Walk the dog
>Get hit on repeatedly

The system works (even when you don't want it to)

>>274550
Michigan is America's high five.

>>274550
>>274555

>>274545
Were you playing Mario Party or something?

Got an offer to write smut for Miranda Leigh's paysite - http://www.secretartstash.com/

Not sure if I should take it.

>>274555
And Wisconsin is the brofist.

>>274558
..You've been offered money. To write stuff.
Write stuff, make money. If you only make 20 dollars, that's 20 dollars more than you had. Do it, you gadget idolizing fool!

>>274558
Opportunity doesn't knock twice.

>>274560

>you gadget idolizing fool

I've been on more of a Tina Lynx kick as of late...

ANYWHO. I am heavily considering taking it, but there's some nagging issues - mainly with taking payment - that's keeping me from accepting it outright.

>>274563

Dude, it's a good way to earn money. A starving artist/writer would kill to be in your position.

>>274564

Oh, I know. The main problem here is, I need a way to accept payment. I have a Paypal, but no bank account, and to make a bank account, I need money, and to really utilize Paypal, I need a bank account...so you can see my dilemma here.

>>274565
If you're being paid to write once, I imagine whoever is offering to pay you thinks you're worth the cost of hiring again (depending on your quality)

I dunno. Have them mail you a check. Or something.

>>274565
If you receive it in your paypal, can't you spend it from that paypal without having to go though the bank?

>>274565
Do you know anyone with a bank account you could "borrow"? Someone you trust?

>>274567

Therein lies another problem - I still live with my mom (SHUT UP I KNOW GODDAMN), and I'm not sure she'd be happy learning why I'm getting checks in the mail. X3

>>274569

Nope. (sage for double-post)

>>274570
So, don't let her open your mail. And it's not like she wouldn't ask why you have money suddenly anyway.

>>274570
You could just say a friend of yours sent it because you cheered them up. Since you're writing stuff that other people fap over, that isn't exactly a lie and it's not unbelievable.

Be like, "hay mom. Some fag sent me money. Lets go cash dis shit. I'm buyin' a house!" or whatever you do with the cash you earn.

>>274572

>it's not like she wouldn't ask why you have money suddenly anyway

True, but still. I'm just a LITTLE paranoid, after having lived with her for so long and having known her to search through my shit before.

I have been in like the greatest mood lately for no particular reason, and it doesn't make sense cause only bad things have been happening.

GUESS I'VE GOT HEAD PROBLEMS

>>274575
Why don't you ask her for advice? Tell her a friend with a strange website wants you to write some strange adult oriented stories. You don't know if you should do it but they're offering to pay because they've read some of your stuff and liked it.

Do you have clean stories to show her?

>>274578
Bad things don't happen, only opportunities to overcome hardship and become a better person.

>>274517
Well, I was 40 minutes late and 1/3 of the women I talked to were either drunk, bitchy or just not my type, and one of the women I did like sent me over to choose some music, and when I got back I was cockblocked by some douchey hipster who could do some new dance move.

On the whole, it went well. Now I just have to wait for their ratings of me.

>>274582

>Do you have clean stories to show her?

Nope. And my mom isn't exactly...approving of "adult content", if you catch my drift.

>>274559

At my mom's. This place is so messy. OH GOD.

Will I be a faggot if I buy this?

I find it hilarious that the solution to my insomnia is to drink.

>>274592
Depressants gonna depress.

>>274591
Yes.

But you will be the most glorious faggot in the land.

>>274592
Are you actually surprised or just wanted a reason to tell us that you're drinking yourself to sleep?
I have high expectations. Guess which answer is the high road.

I've yet to find an appropriate situation to post this so I'm just gonna post it.

>>274591

The thumb doesn't even extend out. Waste of money.

I went to the mini-mall about a mile from my barracks, on bike. While there, I picked up a full ironing board and carried it back. On my bike. While coming back, a sergeant stopped me and gave me a speech about how I shouldn't drive on the road because people are idiots and do I have a death wish because I'll be killed that way. I essentially agreed with him just to get him to leave, but, after digesting the speech, came up with these facts:

1) He was driving a big-ass fucking truck. How the hell are you driving a "my penis is small" symbol yet chastising my for trying to be eco- and economically-friendly?
2) I do have a death wish.
3) This place has shit for sidewalks--if there's even a ramp to get on them from the road, they're small as hell and I could run over someone from a blind corner.
4) The intersection that caused his speech has NO sidewalks at all.

I'll just flip my bike into "fly" mode next time, that'll show him!

>>274601
Good plan. Nothing silences haters like the sight of a man on a bicycle pulling an ET!

Hey guys, I'm back.

I'm also incredibly sick with the flu or something. It's just awful.

Also Fantastic Mr. Fox is an incredibly strange movie to watch while you have a fever.