/baw/Seeecreeetsssss....
My original reason for coming to this site was because I thought it was an image board about math.Only, I couldn't figure out the answer to the equation...
This plusfour regular is lying about who they say they are. Let's just say this deadbeat father of four (by different women) and stdfriends.com cardholder isn't exactly kind to his fellow man.xoxo Gossip Girl
I came here because of a good friend and made lots of new friends! Hooray!
I feel like I'd feel much better if I was jack Kirby's The DemonI could hop around and maul cultists.
I am sexually attracted to one of the people browing this board.
>>262052I'll always be attracted to you, anon.Always.
The last good decade was the 90s, and it was more like the afterglow before everything turned to shit.
I've seen one of you in real life. Just a passing glance, not in Houston, on a vacation somewhere last Christmas, but it was definitely you. And I don't like you, person I saw. I fucking hate you, and wanted to actually say something. But I didn't, because I am a spineless coward. Oh, and I had a sandwich in my hand and didn't want to drop it.Seriously, though, that was a fucking good sandwich.
>>262055ThisI'm a rather lonely guy. Still a virgin, living in the basement, saving for a car, the whole shebang. I'm just afraid to go outside and do something because I'd get stabbed.Let's put it this way. When Doom and the others hung out and did shit together, they had a lot of fun. If I was in that group, I'd be Chucky. Only way more jittery, I hunch over so badly I'm literally four feet tall, and I wear a ratty, old skele-hoodie.I can never say no. Work needs someone to cover a shift, they call me first. Doesn't matter if I have friends over or I'm courting the girl I want to be with, I'll send them home and head straight over there.
>>262044I knew it.KOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH
I love you, really.But I don't know if I can anymore.
I'm not a natural redhead
>>262085
>>262052>browing
for years this tripfriend pretended to be of the opposite sex.xoxo Gossip Girl
sometimes i just get so lonely, manglikeway lonelygood thing i have internets
i develop crushes on internet posters who i even think might be girls but never follow through with creepy internet stalking CAUSE I DONT GOT THE GUTS
It's been months since I've properly cuddled anyone and that makes me feel very sad.
>>262077Is it that hard to take the hint? Guy pretty much highlighted "fellow".
I refuse to admit the possibility that I very well may be in love.Even though I think maybe I am.inb4I Won't Say I'm In Love from the Disney Hercules movie
There are specific namefags that are the reason I have not yet assumed an identity other than Anon.
I have cancer.
There are several points in my life where I've rented a Yogi the Bear suit for commercial gain.
>>262140You should probably get a cat scan just to be sure.
>>262145Not punny, mister.
>>262148I'm sorry, I had to get it out of my system.I wish you all the health and luck in the world.
>>262148Hey, just because you got some bad news is no reason to be so catty towards anonymous.
>>262152o ok
>>262155I totally have the full version.
This +4 celebrity is known for his sage wisdom, but he's been keeping a dark secret from all of us: he's not actually black, he's just really tan.xoxo Gossip Girl
>>262167Shut the fuck up, Gradamit-ass-nigga.
These two Skype House males have secretly become more than friends. Their crazy whirlwind romance is creating tension amongst the others... can they reconcile their friendships without their relationship going toxiec?xoxo Gossip Girl
>>262178And this namefag likes to be pretend to be little girls.Gradamit.
Which female plus4 poster likes to get a little jazzed up on meth before going online? Don't let her feisty demeanor fool you, those are the drugs talking!xoxo Gossip Girl
I don't have secrets. I just have things you probably don't know about, that you're probably happier not knowing.
>>262223I think that counts as a kind of secret. I've got plenty of those. If you're like me, if people asked you wouldn't hold back, but it's better this way, no?
>>262225Yep.
In the last year or so I've stolen a considerable amount of underwear.
I think all of you tolerate me because you found out I'm female.
>>262322Oh just come off it already.
>>262040If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it?
>>262357This thread is surrounded by a magical veil. Everyone will forget these secrets once the thread disappears.
>>262322I tolerate you even less now, if it's any consolation.
>>262322I think you're funny for assuming it matters what gender you are when posting anonymously.
>>262322NINJA YOU'RE SUCH A GIRL
>>262042this just reminded me of a certain hidden board here...brb.
I thought Mayekoi was a dude when she first started posting.
I was born with two penises.
I've considered using my secrets as proof that people shouldn't tolerate me when they're all 'nah bro you're chill.'
I used to watch so much PBS stuff for kids that I used to think that "brought to you" at the end of every show was one word. "This show has been broughtued by..." ... Yes, I know that they even spelled the sentence out, but shuttup.
I hate myself.
I ruined Darle Matthew's life in a street race. Twice.
I want to join armed forces because I'm scared of zombies. Not sure which branch yet, but I'm doing it.
Water is naturally blue in color.
I have a crush on every boy!
>>262548Ever?
Two. Penises.
Sometimes I wish I could browse every board all the time because I'm afraid of missing something. This indecision leads me to browse none of them and play Minecraft instead. I don't know what I'll do when I have to choose between /baw/ and college.I had an anxiety attack when both sup/tg/ and OneManga went down at the same time.Furbies gave me nightmares when they first came out.
I like to change my name a lot....is this a secret?
>>262548On this planet and others
I frequently think about quitting the internet but I'd feel bad about leaving you guys behind and I'd miss you.You did this to me.
>>262654Miley, stop thinking of us as people, it's bad for you.
>>262654>I frequently think about quitting the internetIs this a trend now, or what?
>>262671Too many people are quitting this site. We need a larger userbase.
>>262679Yeah, pretty soon it'll just be me flirting with myself and an Anon getting pissed off that we don't have more original content.pls come back ppl k?
>>262697woops forgot my picoh hey have a secret: I have a tendency to have the hots for the roommates of any girl I'm dating. I think I know why and it's pretty convoluted thinking.also, I'm not interested at all in sex with men, but I'm curious about kissing some. Something about that PENIS and BALLS and PENIS is a huge turn-off. Knowing me, I'm amazed this hasn't happened yet.
I have sex with dogs.What's up with that?
I daydream like a motherfucker. Depends on what I'm listening to. Instead of creating fight scenes, I usually day dream about aerobatic competitions. I rage at video games and I rage hard. I keep my mic off when I do, but you see me die in a game, you can rest assured I'm yelling OH FUCKING BULLSHIT no matter how legitimate it was.
>>262734For someone with an occupation like yours, it's natural to be upset when you have a set of controls in your hand and things don't turn out the way you'd like with them.
>>262671I quit before for like a week but I came back because addiction.Askal we'll be back. Just you wait.
I daydream all the time as well, but it usually involves cars, motorcycles, distant countries and mountain highways.I care more about my car than I ever did about my friends from high school.I took a Ferrari for a joyride once. I was going to steal it, I was fourteen and stupid, but just left it five miles from the owner's house. I'm lucky I didn't wreck the thing.
>>262779She better. I haven't gotten to ask her out on an e-date yet.
Yes, I know most of them are MRSA, but I am absolutely fascinated by the pimple popping videos on youtube. Tell no one.
While I abhor any kind of drama (especially the Internet kind), I find it pretty damn entertaining. Even better when I get to hear/advise both sides.
I used to think all the rhetoric schools and other people pushed on me about "Be yourself, don't wear masks, show your genuine emotions" rung pretty hollow, because it assumed I was, at my core, a likeable person.Over the past six months I've slowly been realizing that really the problem was with me the whole time and that that line of thinking was unbelievably toxic. For most of my life, I've had major issues with my self esteem that I need to work out.I'm still not exactly happy with myself, but at least now I can recognize the problem and see that it is fixable and treatable with time and effort and nowhere near as hopeless as I'd thought.
I don't give a shit anymore. I wish you would just die and shut the fuck up.
>>263416killing me would also be acceptable. I would be honored if one of y'all would run me over with a truck (by accident of course. I would never suggest murder.)
This tripfreind has has been rumored to have used pym particles on his wit. witch is to say he has a HUGE ego.~XOXO Dr.Gradamit Box head
>>263426From what I saw, looks like those particles didn't have any effect.
I love the spoilers feature.
I keep getting mad at James Kolchalka threads because it's like no one in them remembers their childhood or has dealt with babies/kids. So I'm there thinking "Christ it's like these guys have never felt a baby's balls before." And I know that sounds wrong but that's also part of why it's funny and I just ARGH
Ace of Base's "The Bridge" is my favorite album.
Using proxy for anonymity and spoilering for potential offense.I often fantasize about cannibalizing another human. I picture myself slicing them up and frying their meat with pepper and garlic served with rice.
>>267339Now I want to know.I'm not offended or anything.
>>267339I wouldn't call it "fantasizing," but yes, I do from time to time wonder what the hell we taste like and plan out who to eat when I'm stuck in a building in the event the apocalypse comes by unexpectedly. You are not alone.
>>267355More of a "nightmare scenario I try to prepare myself for mentally for SHTF".
I've kept every dollar of Christmas money the grandparents have given me since the start of '02. This is emergency money I've only ever tapped when my mom couldn't work due to surgery. It isn't much, but it's mine.
I think that one solution to global climate change, energy issues, war, and world hunger is to simply reduce the number of people, and given the chance to do so on a large scale, I would. Unfortunately such a solution wouldn't cure diseases, reduce crime, or guarantee that people won't just fuck things up again in the future.
WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME.Okay seriously though, we could've had something! Don't turn me into this insane, needy... smaller version of Annie Wilkes.All I want to be is friends! I mean! Come on!
>>267339I once asked some cannibals IRL. Apparently it's supposed to have a mild sweet-like taste.>>267373I thought I was the only one who thought like that!
>>267427If only.
>>267427>thought I was the only one that thought like that!I'm a bad mass murderer. Too much compassion. I was thinking something along the lines of a human genophage, but not as strong and hopefully would do away with all those horrific miscarriages.
I actually like most of you, I just apparently type like I am angry all the time or a lot of you are just very sensitive people.I hate you FF. I hate you forever.
>>267467I have a way with people it seems.
I'm a man.
>>267473Yes, you can have your way with me any day.
>>267523you people spoil me sometimes.
i have to resist the urge to ask name/trip ppl their genders because this matters to me for some reason
I have major insecurity issues about everything ever. Everything. Please love me.Also I hate Tremaine for never posting a picture of himself ever.
>>267610just date already.
I ship people on plus4, and I don't care who knows anymore!
>>267615Who am I shipped with?
>>267615Do you write fanfiction about it too? Because the world needs more Bea/Kosh stories.
>>267616>>267617I'll draw y'all up a shipping wall.
Approximately 25% of my brain is dead.Nothing important, just motor skills.
>>267621Righteous.
>>267615Going freight would make that cheaper.
>>267621:33 < *How utterly purrfect!*
>>267621OH GOLLY. :DAnd fuck you DSi opera browser, not letting me fix my tripplepost. Missing plug-ins, my ass.
Can...Can I get shipped?
I ship Me/Myself.
>Tripfag/namefag shipping
>>267641It's where most metathreads on /baw/ end up going. Sometimes I wonder if there's a universal law of sociology that explains why they do that, since it also applies to many other internet communities and even certain circles of friends. Then I realize I'm being drawn into the cesspool and start panicking.
>>267622High five?8D
>>267647>and even certain circles of friends.I am now imagining a group of highschool jocks sitting at a table talking about who they imagine each other having sex with.
>>267647I just think it's fun and funny, especially when people get their panties in a twist over it.
>>267650So do you actually have a list or are you making it up on the fly?
>>267649>implying they don't already do that>implying any group of friends doesn't already do that
I never got laid, not even in my DREAMS.And I was really disappointed, because that night I dreamed of Commander Badass.
>>267617>bea/kosh storiesWha-What.>>267664That one's obvious.
>>267615 >>267685 >What>bea/kosh stories My favorite one I've been sent so far is called "The Catfish & The Bee". Very Pixar/Good-Disney-esque.
>>267685It sounded like a funny combination at the time.
JUNK, I must see this shipping wall. it is hilarious and it's existence must be known by all.
>>267703I agree.I am too intrigued to not see this wall of shipping.
In b4 whoever gets shipped with Sage Freehaven gets all pissy.Of course, now that I've said that, it's probably gonna be me. D:
Gee, I'm so curious
>>267784Just admit it, Spreeses. You said that so it would be you.
>>267703Dibs on Nurse.
>>267808That's not how shipping works, Thirteen!
>>267659Wait, my Commander Badass?
>>267814Is it that surprising?
>>267817Kind of.
>>267821Wasn't he created as an idealized man?
>>267809
>>267825Composite of macho stereotypes with more of a zen personality.
>>267831Uhuh. And you're surprised women (and some men) might find that attractive?
>>267834I think I'm more surprised that people outside of the core group who comments every week read it.
In my dreams Commander Badass helps me solve everyday problems.
>>267837Oh, trust me, people read it, we don't comment because we have nothing to add other than "lol".
>>267837We do, we just...assumed you didn't want our comments since we talk to you through here, you know we're going to say it's excellent.Mr. Fish, by the way, is what I name all my Gyarados thanks to you.
I want to hang out with Bea.
>>267864It's what I name all of my Gyarados too.
>>267882But Anonymous, I am pretty boring! Hang out with cool people instead.
I always imagined Bea as being a short version of that hipster from Parks and Rec.
>>267900But you're tiny and cute. I want to pet you.
>>267900But you were cool at Comic Con!
>>267902A lot of people say that...>>267903>cool>comic-conpick one, NERRRDthanks
>>267882It's not a secret if everyone feels the same way.
>>267916I don't.
>>267923>imagelol
>>267882I don't.Tsun tsun
I was sent to kill the president, but I failedMy father always said I would never amount to anything
>>267900"Bea sucks today.""Bea ALWAYS sucked."There, feel better?
>>267901I have a crush on Aubrey Plaza. How 'bout that. Oh, also Alia Shawkat.
I am a fanfiction addict. There, I said it.
>>267959"Remember when Bea was cool?!""Bea was never cool."
>>267991I have a crush on Bea
I have no secrets anymore. What do you call a mummy with no dead person inside?
>>268001Miscarriage?
>>268002
I secretly wish that I can someday shoot a porno movie (amateur or professional, I don't care) called "RoboCock". It would pretty much be the same thing as the first "RoboCop" movie, but lots of sex, and I would always be saying "Dead or alive, *you're coming with me*".
>>268114THIS POST HAS THE TMC STAMP OF APPROVAL.
YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE A SHIPPING CHART JUNK, WHERE IS THE SHIPPING CHART.
I sometimes miss the days when i was a well known tripfag on /co/ and used to go to the irc channel all the time. But these days i just cant get myself to go after this kind of virtual popularity. I dont know if this is good or bad.
>>268002>>268114Why did I laugh so much at these?
Whenever I feel hopeless or depressed, this scenario starts in my head where I just grab a weapon, head to a majorly populated area, and just start attacking. Not to get back at the world or anything, just so a cop can shoot me dead. This has happened so much and so vividly I'm almost convinced it's actually going to happen, and that there is nothing I can do to stop it.No amount of medication or therapy has rid me of this, and it's not a sexual fantasy or a way to cheer myself up. If anything, it feels more like a reminder, like something that's been long overdue, and that something's been waiting for it.It goes away when I go to sleep and wake up the next morning, though. So, that's good.
>>268504sometimes i do something similar in that i wonder how quickly people would react if i were to start doing something criminal and violent, but i dont do it because that would be bad
>>268139Well, that makes me feel less weird.
I had nothing to do yesterday so I spent five fucking hours playing Monkey Island 2. I only stopped to feed my fish.
Spoiler'd for TMI: When I was just a wee one coming up, I once fapped so hard I bled a little.
>>268564dude this happened to me just last week.
Getting trashed in the back of a toy store on a Monday isn't one of my proudest moments...No wait, yeah it is.
It is not unusual for me to lay awake and think of the places I want to go and the things I want to do there. It most often involves what kind of music I'm listening to. Raves in Moscow, heavy metal bars in Japan, getting high with an old Jamaican woman, going fox hunting in a British forest, kissing a red headed girl in Ireland, wandering through the streets of Jerusalem at night.Although I have friends, I'm used to being alone and cannot picture anyone doing these things with me.
>>268703>going fox hunting in a British forestYou can't do that anymore
I'd like to try cosplay. But, I want to cosplay this
I want to date an amputee, but I can never find any gay male amputees.
>>267339I've always wanted to try human meat, I've even asked my brother if he would let me eat him when he dies. He's still undecided, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.In case you get a good body check this site:http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/butcher.htmlThe only real hard part I think would be skinning up the lower body.>Skinning: After removing the head, wash the rest of the body down. Because there is no major market for human hides, particular care in removing the skin in a single piece is not necessary, and makes the task much easier. The skin is in fact a large organ, and by flaying the carcass you not only expose the muscular configuration, but also get rid of the hair and the tiny distasteful glands which produce sweat and oil. A short-bladed knife should be used to avoid slicing into muscle and viscera. The skin is composed of two layers, an outer thinner one with a thicker tissue layer below it. When skinning, first score the surface, cutting lightly to be sure of depth and direction. The diagram of the skinning pattern is an example of strip-style skinning, dividing the surface into portions easy to handle. Reflect the skin by lifting up and peeling back with one hand, while bringing the knife in as flat to the skin as possible to cut away connective tissue. The external genitals present only a small obstacle. In the male the penis and scrotum can be pulled away from the body and severed, in the female the outer lips skinned as the rest of the body. It is important to leave the anus untouched at this point, and a circle of skin should be left around it. You need not bother skinning the hands and feet, these portions not being worth the effort unless you plan to pickle them or use them in soup. The skin can be disposed of, or made into fried rinds. Boil the strips and peel away the outer layer, then cut into smaller pieces and deep-fat fry in boiling oil until puffy and crisp. Dust with garlic salt, paprika and cayenne pepper.>Gutting: The next major step is complete evisceration of the carcass. To begin, make a cut from the solar plexus, the point between the breastbone and stomach, almost to the anus. Be very careful not to cut into the intestines, as this will contaminate the surrounding area with bacteria and possibly feces (if this does happen, cleanse thoroughly). A good way to avoid this is to use the knife inside the abdominal wall, blade facing toward you, and making cautious progress.>Make a cut around the anus, or "bung", and tie it off with twine. This also prevents contamination, keeping the body from voiding any material left in the bowel. With a saw, cut through the pubic bone, or "aitch". The lower body is now completely open, and you can begin to pull the organ masses (large and small intestines, kidneys, liver, stomach) out and cut them away from the back wall of the body.Tying up the anus seems a bit tricky. Other then that I think I'm set.
>>269046>>269048You two should get together and cut off my leg. It'll be like a party. Invite some friends.
>>269048>>I've even asked my brother if he would let me eat him when he dies.But what happens if you croak first?
>>269050Then it's Zombie time.
when i see a lady postin in the internetsi wanna be they boyfrenbut i dont try it cause i know it wouldnt workcause it is creepy, and i am creepy, and e-dating is precarious at best, and things is never at they best with me
Every day I masturbate to the first opening picture of a different thread on this board.
>>271809I need to make more threads.
>>271809I'm just gonna keep making threads with pictures of me.
>>271831
I am a compulsive liar.
I am constantly comparing myself to others and i find myself not really as good as my peers.this thought terrifies me.
At first I judge people by what shoes they wear.
I make shit up all the time. NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH.
>>272203Anyone who doesn't feel like this is robot wearing a flesh suit.
>>272255Because robots are awesome and they know it.
>>272255>>272271I always knew there was something special about me! I just never thought it'd be my gears and circuits.
>>272288Huh. That was on Family Guy last night.
>>272288>>272302Miley Cyrus, be honest, are you a family guy robot?
>>272236http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqFwSUIZwwsGuster - Demonscouldn't find a better vid. sorry.
>>272302>>272305In all honesty I was thinking of the Clerks Animated Series when I posted that, and I have no idea which episode of Family Guy you guys are talking about.
>>272347In before party van.
>>272347linksplease
>>272347 >now the secret is that I just made up all those stories about having sex with little shotas...Damnit, I was reading those, too.
>>272591
>>272591You should seek counseling.
>>272657I'm baffled. Also got some nervous amusement. And fear. I'm all mixed up inside, but there's nothing good. Does that reaction gif make more sense now?>>272591I seriously hope you're trollin.
>>272359>>272359>>272359>>272359
>>272591Well, shit. That might just be the most fucked up thing I've read on this site.Two secrets:1. I actually could care less if I ever drank again in my life: I've gotten drunk enough that I ruined a bathroom rug once in my life and I honestly don't care to do it again.2. There actually isn't a single person on this entire site that I don't like for one reason or another. Especially you, misto.
>>272708:<>
>>272708Even m->Piggylicious is now following you on TwitterWell hot damn!
>>272591 >>272591 >>272591 >>272591 >>272591 >>272591 WHAT WAS EVERYONE LOOKING AT THE POST IS GONE
>>272858Someone who claimed to be a lady with a hunger for shotas.
>>272858Didn't miss anything but serious creepiness.
I made a film in a film class and then graduated.I was one of the winners in a film festival that apparently had a cash prize for winning it.My film teacher never told me I won and never answered my e-mails about it. Or any of my e-mails at all.I know I should contact the committee or something but I don't want to confront the possibility that the teacher I liked and looked up to decided to take my winnings. So instead I've been hiding from it until just now.Also it's been like a year because I just found out I won like two weeks ago. So I probably wouldn't count for a complaint anyway.Arghblughblughl even writing about it anonymously makes me want to curl up and hide.
>>272958Fight for what's yours. Hope for the best but fight against the worst.
I'm gay, I just don't feel like telling anyone.Let them find out when it happens.
>>273213When what happens?
>>273214You'll know when it happens.
>>273218
Lately i been considering getting into a relationship, but i'm 95% sure that i can't maintain one. I Think i'm pretty much fucked.
>>273455That's all right, you don't have to be in a relationship to be fucked.
>>273455No one's ever good at something until they've tried it a few times.
>>273471Well, i crashed my car way too many times to start to wonder that maybe i shouldn't be a test pilot.
>>273474...I can't make heads or tails of this sentence, what are you trying to say.
>>273486One could say it looks like a WRECK
>>273486It means my relationships have a tendency to crash.
>>273667Oh. Well you know crashing is an important part of the test process.
I like to pick out anything stuck under my toe nails and sniff it. It's stinks but I enjoy it like my own farts.
I have a severe oral fixation. When I'm not smoking or eating or drinking things with a straw, I find myself chewing on my lips, biting my fingertips, or holding a writing utensil in my mouth.
>>275757I'm the same, although I find I grind my teeth or chew my tongue if there's nothing in my mouth. Toothpicks and the little coffee stir sticks, man. I chew on them all day at work.
>>275757Hey, I have an oral fixation as well.Because I often find myself fixated on getting oral.
>>275757This! This^2. It's pretty annoying. Doesn't have to be a pen/pencil though, it's pretty much whatever happens to be lying around.
i have library books that are months overdueoh my godwill they charge me like a hundred bux or call the copsoh nooo
>>275959Most libraries I've been to have a cap on how much they charge for late fees. Usually enough to buy the book, though.
>>275959I still have library books that are years overdue. Don't worry about it. It's not like they're gonna hunt you down or anything.
>>276019Actually, some library systems have started referring the fines of people with grossly overdue books to debt collectors. I know the NYPL began doing this a few years ago.Have high enough fines and it could fuck with your credit score now.
>>276040Maybe in America.Pff.
>>275959I had this one book for so long I owed the library like $40. Luckily, they had this "No fine Friday" thing. If you return a book on the last Friday of a month, there is no fine whatsoever.
>Fines>A fine of .15 cents per item per library day is charged on overdue books, magazines and audio books, to a maximum of $3.00 per item.phew, what a relief
I'm sorry friends.I'm still obsessing.
Every time I go somewhere to meet a group of friends, I have this near irresistible urge to kick the door open with a shout of "Ore, Sanjou!"
>>276250Do it! Get it out of your system. It'll feel good, I promise. I've done similar.
I call myself RAWSHARK but I'm actually Superman in disguise
I've had so many pregnancy scares with girls that I've lost count. I should emphasize that none of them were particularly justified as I am a careful partner. I've become very good at taking care of the situation and comforting the girl. I even have money saved for the cost of morning after pills and an abortion if my partner is so inclined.
>>276308I'm disappointed i thought you were going to tell us that you weren't actually raw
>>276314Oh he's Raw