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News
  • 08/21/12 - Poll ended; /cod/ split off as a new board from /pco/.

File 128620968832.jpg - (255.97KB , 810x1080 , 124348243492.jpg )
32708 No. 32708
Original thread here: >>12458

Slowly but surely.
82 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 39146
>>39102
Did you checked the original thread in the old board?
If you didn't, I highly reccomend you to check it out:
http://plus4chan.org/boards/coc/res/12458.html

It¡s quite amazing all the ideas that led to this wonderful projetc.
>> No. 39181
>>39146

Yes, I've been following it for quite a while now. Its evolution is what interests me most.
>> No. 39234
File 130642240832.jpg - (346.61KB , 1103x1700 , gettingtowork1.jpg )
39234
Woke up, wanted to work, wanted to make sure I stayed motivated, so I drew this little thing while listening to some music. I think I need to get on acting on every idea I get, I leave to many in my head. I mean, worst case scenario is I produce an unorganized mess, and we have to sort it out.
>> No. 39235
File 130642252777.jpg - (340.94KB , 1103x1700 , gettingtowork2.jpg )
39235
>>39234
2 of 3
>> No. 39237
File 130642292333.jpg - (419.73KB , 1108x1646 , gettingtowork3.jpg )
39237
>>39234
>>39235
3 of 3. You can probably tell how much I woke up from page 1 to page 3.

>>39102
The support always helps, and it certainly helps motivate! I'll be trying to get more stuff up, so as it goes any opinions help. It's thanks to everyone that we all keep shooting for even higher goals and try to deliver the very best comic we can! Honestly, I'm sure I'll make a few mistakes as I get into the action stuff, so tell me if it's not exciting, or if the action is too jumbled. I'll also try to lay more of the overall plan out and that will give more chances for help. Thanks again!
>> No. 39365
I thought that you guys would like to see this.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/movies/mickey-has-two-dads/story-e6frfmvr-1226015944009
>> No. 39408
>>39365
That's pretty awesome.

I got a few layouts going, sorry that I've been slow to scan. Hope to get some up soon.
>> No. 39589
>>39237

I really like you're style, I don't know what it is about it, its just great.

Going to have a look through the storyline notes from the original thread, since nobodys mentioned anything in a while.
>> No. 39596
File 130820638664.jpg - (548.24KB , 2157x1514 , scan0008.jpg )
39596
Realized I talked of revising the Squire intro pages, so here they are. Addressed at least adding a basic set up shot of the castle, though perhaps a further out one with the Sqire's horse galloping towards it would be much better. Also introduce the other servant ladies, who are a bit gossipy, talking about the Princess getting a protector. Otherwise, things follow the same course as the old layouts.
>> No. 39597
File 130820652319.jpg - (93.48KB , 636x752 , squireintropage.jpg )
39597
And here is the page that follows, with the Squire's proper intro. This hopefully handles all the revising we'll need for a while.
>> No. 39598
File 13082075234.jpg - (141.61KB , 1000x744 , scan0010.jpg )
39598
Moving forward, these pick up from the end of the fight scene. Squire is reeling a bit from the hit she took, but quickly hops back into action, running on no end of adrenaline at this point. A little payoff to her running horse mounting, and the girls ride off!

I will get on figuring a way to organize this, both the layouts and the scripts (and script BITS for when I was extra jumbled).
>> No. 39599
File 130820788099.jpg - (111.31KB , 1000x763 , scan0011.jpg )
39599
>>39598
Since it's REALLY unclear, in panel 2 bandit riders are hopping over the tower debris and getting ready to attack.

And here is the start and end of the chase scene, so exciting chase stuff will be between these two pages (sorry, I totally lost my first draft of those pages). At the start we'll establish princess is facing back and holding to squire for dear life, and that 3 badguys follow. At the end, squire hops a log into a 'clearing' only to find the clear area past the log is a cliff! This will be followed by squire grabbing the princess and diving off the horse in midair, into the rushing river below. We're sure ending up with a lot of dead horses, poor things.
>> No. 39600
>>39599
Oh, damn, panel 2 there is actually 2 panels, one of squire looking forward, and the other of princess looking back over squire's shoulder.

Also, ideas for the chase include them dodging an arrow at the last second (fired from a crossbow). I can't remember much else, honestly, but I'll see what I can think of. The chase deserves a few good bits, just want to be sure it doesn't get out of hand.
>> No. 39710
File 130860478787.jpg - (885.44KB , 1200x3150 , Progress_sheet_06-20-2011 1of2.jpg )
39710
Okay, I'm going to work on the next one of these after I eat, but this is the first 28 pages in their most current form for easy reference! I'll admit, it took me a while to go through both threads, my own jumbled notes and files just to make sure I'm not missing TOO much. I'll add more notations as time goes on, and make a script/outline document later to go along with the layouts. For now, I hope this helps a lot.
>> No. 39711
File 130861281460.jpg - (550.44KB , 1200x2498 , Progress_sheet_06-20-2011 2of2.jpg )
39711
And here is sheet two! I think, now that things are numbered, I'm finally figuring out just how long this will end up being! Over 50 pages, and they're just now on their own! I'll try to get the script and outline draft done soon, I just know it'll take longer to properly organize, but I'll try to get it done right.
>> No. 39712
>>39710
>>39711

VERY nice. I'm liking this, and have been needing it for some time.
>> No. 39713
File 130861958142.jpg - (67.48KB , 537x800 , scan0012.jpg )
39713
>>39712
I'm glad I finally got around to doing it. I also realize I hadn't posted the last 3 pages of layouts, showing Squire surfacing and looking for the Princess, so I'll post them now.
>> No. 39714
File 130862001487.jpg - (141.27KB , 1000x753 , scan0013.jpg )
39714
>>39713
And here is the follow up pages.

I'll try to make sure everything has a revised outline soon, which will probably be rather lengthy. One thing I've been thinking about is: should we have 'chapters'? Even if it's as simple as a not at the top or bottom of a page saying "Chapter 2", I guess it would simply to give a reader natural stopping points. For example, page 22 would be a nice end of a chapter, as the Princess looks back at her home, with page 23 being a nice new chapter as they are on the road.
>> No. 39715
File 130862761419.jpg - (123.99KB , 606x1000 , page11point5.jpg )
39715
I knew I'd make a mistake! This page fits between page 11 and 12 (call it page 11 1/2 for now). I know I detailed it at some point, I just forget where, I'll have to figure it all out later. This is, so far, the only error I found with the progress sheet so far, but I'll fix it next time I update them.
>> No. 39726
Okay! Going through both threads has allowed me to find the notes that went along with each page from 8-55 in their most current forms. I'm going to try and get the outline updated to go along with it so it's all together. Combined with the progress sheets I think it brings the whole thing into much clearer focus... ignoring the part that most pages don't have planned dialog yet (my bad!). I'll try to nail down a first pass at some of that before I post it. Want me to just post it in a few posts, one long ass one, or upload it as a document when I'm done?
>> No. 39728
Flowers in Bloom
Script and outline, June 21st, 2011
Stranger59, Anderjak, Eli, countless /co/mrades

Page 8
p1- K: I won't have this picture burned like the one that hung before it. C: Aye, m'lord.
p2- Then it's decided! Your son will guard my dear daughter!
p3- Are you certain?
p4- But of course, old friend! Why, of all our squires, your son is the only one she might not feel uncomfortable around! C: Very well, I'll make arrangements immediatly!

Obviously tweak dialog to fit better with the feel, just keep the basic feel that these guys are total buddies. First chance to really see how lighthearted the king can be, but still bringing in that solemn side from the gravestone.

Page 9
Basic set up shot of the castle, though perhaps a further out one with the Sqire's horse galloping towards it would be much better. Also introduce the other servant ladies, who are a bit gossipy, talking about the Princess getting a protector.

Page 10
Some comment about how handsome the Captain’s son is, and dialog between Princess and her Servant girl.

Page 11
Taadaaa! Squire time!

Page 11 ½ (this reflects the missing page from the 6/20/2011 progress sheet, numbering will be adjusted next outline)
C: …it seems a solid plan, but why do you think the Duke will help us?
K: Well, his father was more than willing to help us in the past.
C: Yes, but that was his father, and even then it was for his own purposes.
K: Well, his is also married to my daughter’s aunt, that has to count for something!
C: And if not, that’s why the Princess herself will be there, yes?
K: Exactly, she knows how to negotiate in ways that don’t involve the point of a sword!
C: Heh. So, do you agree I should take the old hidden path?
K: Yes, we should be the only ones who know of it.

Page 12
C: Just be careful when you follow the next day on the main road, we never know what the bandits might try.
K: I’ll take every precaution, just be sure to get there with all haste.
:Scene sifts to layouts where Squire and Princess are walking together after the Squire’s intro:
first page of talking between the princess and the squire. The second to last panel involves the princess lamenting that she doesn't have a 'handsome boy' as her guardian. The last panel is the squire joking "Ah, but my dear princess, despite being a girl, I AM a handsome boy!" as she takes a fair amount of pride in how good looking a squire she is. It's also my favorite little joke so far, and her face there almost wants a "BWAHAHAHAHA" added to the panel (but that would be a bit much).

Page 13
Ok, here we have the next pages. I decided the princess would make some comment about a boy being able to get her the best apple on the tree. I was thinking a green one surrounded by red ones, or the other way... then I realized I wasn't sure apples trees did that. Eitherway, if someone knows, chime in. So Squire climbs the tree like a monkey, and they talk about other things a bit. I have a love of drawing the squire doing nutty shit or making faces, and I think I got a good bit of that in.

Page 14
It ends with the Captain and King arriving to tell them they thought of a plan (sending her as a messenger to the other kingdom) and the squire hanging from the tree with apple in hand.

Page 15
:Torchlit halls of the castle, King and Princess are walking side by side, expressions somewhat serious:
K: Have you given much thought to the suitors we discussed?
P: Well… I have weighted the advantages of each. The son of the Count would be the best choice, due to the family silver mines and shipping contracts. But…
K: (making an appropriate impression face) …But, he looks like a frog, right?
P: Haha! Well, yes, but that would be a selfish reason to turn him away!
K: Nonsense! I can’t have any frog faced grandchildren! Think of the sudden decline in the family portraits.
:Both laugh:
P: (a panel to ease the shift from laughter to a solemn tone) About the plan…
K: (raised eyebrow) You have concerns?
P: (serious) Many.
K: Have no fear! If you knew half the absurd plans the Captain and I have successfully pulled off in our youth, you’d-

Page 16
P: Probably feel you were both due for a catastrophe.
:reaches the point of the old layout, where the King and Princess exit the castle into the courtyard. Will probably have to be redrawn to account for the new flow of things, I’ll try to take a crack at it later. Obvious change is that it is night, so there are a few torches about:
Knights in the foreground: “Do you think he’ll do it this time?” “Last time he tried the horse walked off midjump!”
King: Hmmm, well, I guess I’ve a fair share of those as well.
:Captain and Squire in foreground, squire prepped for run:
C: Like most things, this is about timing, son, so don’t rush it.
S: I have this, father! Just you watch!
P: Father, if anything should happen-
K: Daughter, look!

Page 17
K: (line continued) Your champion at work!
:Squire sprints, leaping on the back of her horse. Everyone cheers, though the Princess is less impressed:

Page 18
K: Good show! Don’t you agree, daughter?
P: I suppose, though I’m not sure how much such a skill will come in handy.
K: Let me congratulate our young squire.
:Insert "and that's how I lost my hymen" panel here:
:This is another moment off from the old layouts, as the king approaches the triumphant, horse hopping squire:
K: Well played.
S: Your Majesty! I am most honored, M’lord!
K: No need for such formality, I’ve known you since you were but a babe. I would have a moment with you though.
S: Of course, my king.
:King offers his hand and Squire offers hers a bit hesitantly. King grips her hand tight: (a panel of him gripping her hand might be good to add, on the next page though.)

Page 19
K: She is my world… care for her as such.
:A silent panel extends this moment. I’m not that ashamed to admit that I’m probably inspired by the passing on of ‘the package’ scene in Halo Reach:
S: (her grip now matching the kings) I shall protect her as though our lives were one and the same, M’lord.

Page 20
:Final preparations are made, this scene is pretty loose in my head. A panel of the Squire looking at the hand the King held would be nice, a silent testament of her preparing for her responsibility. Apologies in advance if I leave layouts entirely to you on this one, but if I can work on it I will.:
K: Be sure to give my regards to your aunt when you get there.
P: I’ll leave that for you to do when you arrive. I’d rather be your diversion than the other way.
K: But then your servant girl (editnote: handmaid? What’s a good word here?) wouldn’t get the joys of playing princess!
:Servant girl (or whatever) in a somewhat multicolored wig and princess outfit, she has a comedic pose and expression)
Servant Girl: I think we did a great job, right girls?
:Other servant girls, all their hair is trimmed:
Girls: Yeah!
:disguised servant girl dancing goofily in the foreground. In background, Princess looks annoyed, King shrugs it off comically:
Servant Girl: I’m so pretty, I’m so dainty!
Princess: I don’t think that’s the most flattering portrayal.
King: I’d scold her, but she’s a princess now.
(The above is just a cute gag I thought would be fun. It COULD be cut... but I think the little tension relief just before the real emotional impact helps out. Also, it's the kinda goofy stuff I love.)
:King smiles at the Princess, she has a smile, but tears begin pooling in her eyes. Perhaps a flashback to the Queen as the King looks at his daughter (probably no flashback, we can save something like that for the end):

Page 21
:Princess and King embrace, they know they might never see eachother again:
P: I love you, daddy.
K: And I love you, dear. Always.
:She leaves, no waving, only solemn looks. Panels showing Princess and than King’s last looks, other characters are mostly in darkness/muted colors to help focus being only on them:
>> No. 39729
Page 22
:After marching through the pre-dawn, they reach the peak of a hill and the rays of the sun hit the Princess. She looks back and lowers her hood. The castle is distant in the valley, the sun rising behind it. The reader should feel the pain of leaving home with the Princess

Chapter # - The Hidden Trail

Page 23
No text, just lovely art of the journey.

Page 24
Panel 2 is just a warning to the princess that she probably doesn't want to do that. Panel 3 Squire explains that that flower is poisonous or something, and then she presents her with a better, less itch inducing flower that she cuts down from above. Figured giving her a flower is a nice gesture, and here it's a nonromantic one. Also, the first page established that the princess loves flowers. I know, holy heck, how did I think of such a unique personality trait??? It's a gift, I tells ya! Anyway, it should also add even more to the final gesture in the last page of giving her a flower. Even with the "get me that apple thing" this is important because it is the first unasked for gift, which the ladies will always tell you they appreciate more.

Page 25
Some talk about bandits and messenger birds... I'll think of dialog later.
p3: talk ends with mentioning the princess, and the knight saying to the captain "Sir, speaking of the princess..."
p4: captain "..." maybe some noises from Squire and buddy playing around.
p5: Captain (off panel): Son!

Page 26
p1: (off panel) Ow! (along with appropriate sound effect)
p2: S: Yes, father?
p3: Cap: Where is the princess? Squire: Well, she's right by... over with... Oh, DAMN!
p4: Everyone! Mount up and fan out! Break into teams of two an
Cap: Belay that, at ease. (do knights say "belay that"? Or is that, like, something you only say on a boat?)
p5: Ya know, you're hard to stay mad at when you lose your cool like that. It's the main thing you get from your mother!
Squire: But, father, the princess!
Captain: Walk with me, son.

Page 27
Captain scolds Squire and teaches her that her duty to the princess is the most important thing for her

Page 28
After their talk the Captain lets Squire know that he had knights watching her this whole time, and Squire goes to rejoin the Princess.

Page 29
p1 - S: Were you trying to catch us a dinner, M'lady? P: Oh! No! I mean, that is I didn't think...
p2 - S: I jest, Princess! We've more then enough supplies that any cute animals you find won't need to meet such a fate! P: I'm glad, though a bit embarrassed that I'm so unaccustomed to your jesting.
p3: Oh... yeah, I get a bit carried away sometimes. My deepest apologies for being distracted earlier. P: It is no worry, Squire. I am just extra unaccustomed to rowdy play, I hope I wasn't a bother by wandering off.

Page 30
p1- knight in the distance announces that it's time to head out.
p2 - S: Well, let us be off. P: Alright.
p3 - S: M'lady.
p4 - P: Thank you.
p5 - knight: Your steed, M'lady.
p6 - knight: Apologies, I forgot your step, I'll go fetch it. S: Ah, there is no need for that!

Page 31
p1: S: Allow me to be your step!
p2: P: I-I couldn't possibly do that! S: Nonsense, M'lady! For one who holds chivalry in their hearts, it is both a duty and a honor to serve a lady in such a way. (p3 is silent, or P: ..., which ever you like better)
p4 - A-alright/O-okay (whichever is voted to be cuter). p5 is silent, but needs special mention. I originally drew a smile, since I didn't want her to seem sad by being stepped on, but then it felt like she was too smug, or at the very worst it could be seen as fetishy. I settled on a subtle look of revenance, as Squire is honestly happy to perform this duty, but her earlier scolding keeps her from being too full of herself.
p6 - S: There, that wasn't so bad, now was it? P: I suppose.
p7 - S: Shall we depart? P: Y-yes.

Page 32
p2 - What is that there?
p3 - (maybe make it clearer that it's a tower) That's a fort left over fro, eh? (she notices the bit of rubble falling off the tower)
p4 - S: Father! C: Spread out. (p5 is silent)
p6 - P: What is it? S: One moment, princess!

Page 33
Okay, so here we build more tension, the Captain and Squire know they are surrounded, and got a feeling about the abandoned fort looming above them. I... kinda forget a lot about this, cause I drew this forever ago. So I'll try to give some solid dialog for it later.

Page 34
And here we actually show our bad bandits. I will try to do some sketches someday, but they should all have a pretty good design. They wear masks and a lot of their outfits are visibly stitched and patched together. The dialog will revolve around them realizing the knights are aware of them and they'll have to 'do it' now instead of waiting to catch the last ones. The plan is to shove at the already weakened fort tower and collapse it on the rear guard of the convoy, leaving them no escape for from the ambush ahead. So basically, the plan goes off, but since Captain and Squire are so badass, the Squire and Princess end up behind the main ambush.

Page 35
This one I also did a long while ago, but I edited it a bit to mesh with the stuff I just finished. The big tower collapse fills the area with dust, both from its destruction and from the dirt kicked up. Squire is knocked from her horse.

Page 36
the princess looks on through the dust to see the ambush, as knights and bandits clash in full. It should feel surreal, the word bubbles should all be 'faded', probably a readable gray. All that is, except the LAST word bubble, where one of the bandits noticed the princess and shouts at her.

Page 37
And here we have one of the bandits grab the princess, ready to kill her. BAD END

Page 38
p1:
-squire: HALT!
p2:
-squire: UNHAND THE PRINCESS! (Note at this point it is still 'the' princess, not 'my')
Page should should be OOZING with badassery.

Page 39
well, the only dialog is on the layout. Basically, we remember that Squire is only human, she just had a tower almost fall on her and she got flung from the horse. The bandit goes for the moment to finish the only threat.

Page 40
p1: bandit should look like a wild dog of a man, overjoyed by the moment before the kill.
p2-4: Exhaustion. Fighting through pain. Determination.
p5: The sword uprooted...
p6: ...the spear deflected.
p7: RIGHTEOUS FURY!

Page 41
p2: Squire acknowledges the kill with a look. In my mind, it's her first kill, but I'm not sure we talked about it in length.
p3: No time to waste, the Squire goes to secure the Princess, when an off panel yell calls her attention.
p4: The last two bandits from the collapsed tower have arrived.

Page 42
I figure a fun part here is that you really see she is her father's son. Deflecting a knife might not be as badass as splitting and arrow, but hey, they both could probably fight your average ninja. Big guy attacks, and Squire dodges.

Page 43
An upward swipe takes the big guy in the eye, forcing a bellow of pain and rage from him. A blind, but purposeful punch finds its mark, sending the Squire stumbling. The big guy himself stumbles after his counter attack and knocks his comrade off to the side.

Page 44
Moving forward, these pick up from the end of the fight scene. Squire is reeling a bit from the hit she took, but quickly hops back into action, running on no end of adrenaline at this point. Since it's REALLY unclear, in panel 2 bandit riders are hopping over the tower debris and getting ready to attack.

Page 45
A little payoff to her running horse mounting, and the girls ride off!

Page 46
And here is the start and end of the chase scene, so exciting chase stuff will be between these two pages (sorry, I totally lost my first draft of those pages). At the start we'll establish princess is facing back and holding to squire for dear life, and that 3 badguys follow. panel 2 there is actually 2 panels, one of squire looking forward, and the other of princess looking back over squire's shoulder.
>> No. 39730
Page 47
Chase!

Page 48
More Chase!

Page 49
Wow, so much chasing!

Page 50
Okay, enough chasing…

Page 51
squire hops a log into a 'clearing' only to find the clear area past the log is a cliff!

Page 52
squire grabs the princess and dives off the horse in midair, into the rushing river below. We're sure ending up with a lot of dead horses, poor things.

Page 53
Squire surfacing and looking for Princess

Page 54
Squire dives and looks for Princess more

Page 55
Squire spots the Princess’ dress and lifts her head above water.


Outline:
From here the girls will hide from bandits that walk past the river. The bandits will assume the Princess and Squire dead, but are still actively looking for survivors from the ambush. Once we have them clear, I was thinking if I could work in a “bath/drying clothes” scene, it could lead to some cuteness. Main idea so far is:
P: Won’t you join me? We are both girls afterall.
S: Well, yes, but, um, I am a girl that is also a boy, I have certain expectations.
P: Such as?
S: Well, I… hmmm
P: ….
S: O-okay… Very well! I shall join you!
P: Wait!
S: eh?
P: Now I feel nervous about it.
S: … I shall keep watch, m’lady.
P: Thank you.
(I don’t know, maybe I just want some quick silliness after all the tension)

Then we have a few things to deal with:
Camping
BEAR CHASE
Idea I’ve been kicking around of Princess having a dream about her mother’s death
Squire teaching Princess basics of sword play

The girls take shelter in an abandoned fort. There they are attacked by a handful of bandits. Only one bandit will live and wound the Squire, the large bandit that she wounded in the first fight. His defeat by the Princess will show the Princess actively tackling events that come her way instead of being passive. Also, having only one (later) sympathetic bandit makes things alot easier. I’m thinking this large bandit will be important later in some way, though I’m not sure how to handle it. After his defeat though, he’ll be put in stockade in the friendly village the girls take refuge in. Once Squire recovers a bit, she and Princess will confront him, part of the exchange planned so far:

Bandit: Glad to see you up and walking, young fella lass
Squire: Are you jesting? I took your eye.
Bandit: Bah, I know what may come from my work, I don’t need two eyes to see this fate was possible. Would you rather I be after your eye?
Princess: What is your name?
Bandit: Oaf.
Squire: How unfortunate for you.
Bandit: It’s my role in things, it suites me.

After a while and some questioning about the bandit “Boss” (the bandit’s leader, would-be assassin), Princess decides to let Oaf out. He will somehow help at the castle, but not sure just how yet. His help will be important, but minimal, perhaps getting Squire out of her cell. From there the planned “Squire Rampage” will take place.

In the end, when the Duke's plan is revealed, I have a few plans on how to make the Princess take center stage. She was already planned to be the one who figured out the peaceful solution, but I also want to highlight how determined she is. Another concept will be their roles as a Princess, a future Queen, and the Squire a future Knight. I'll explain it much more when I get to the layouts (which I might have to start skipping around on a bit, and I'll sort them later in a pdf or something), but there will be tension as they are wanting to escape their lives as such, but also run that along side the fact that, titles or not, they are who they are. The princess will always be 'royal', elegant and refined. The squire will always be a woman of action and duty (though to her personal Queen instead of the kingdom).
>> No. 39731
Most up in the air aspect of the story is ‘Boss’, and how and when he meets his end. I have actually been trying to figure out basic info about how the Captain and King were able to get control of the kingdom from the King’s brother. And while a very ambitious part of me would say “Let’s totally do a prequel comic after we finish this one!” I think for now I’ll try to lay down simple notes that will allow us to finish this tale. ‘Boss’ will be an ally they had during the fateful, and very short, revolution. Basic ideas so far:

-King’s twin bro totally claimed power after his father’s death and ordered his brother killed
-Captain and Boss were among the loyal that were with King as he was heading home.
-After fighting forces loyal to his brother, King goes to the Duke’s father for help
-There they meet the Queen, who is there with her sister
-The Queen sneaks along with them, tells them all of a secret path, but Boss is skeptical
-During an attack at a fort, the King saves the Queen, but Boss is also injured and believes that King abandoned him. This fort will be destroyed, it will be the fort the girls take refuge in.
-The Princess leads them down the hidden trail, the same trail that the Captain, Squire and Princess start along (Boss knows of the trail from when the Princess told them all).
-After many crazy things, King confronts his brother. He is forced to kill him.

From this it establishes Boss’ motivation, and his knowledge of the hidden trail. He hooked up with bandits who tended his wounds and made good use of his skill with a bow. He climbed the ranks and eventually organized many bandit groups together under his banner. Terrorizing the Duke for sometime, he eventually offered a deal for the possibility of gaining a title. As he wormed his way into the Duke’s confidence, he helped push the Duke into fearing the King, and was overjoyed to have the Duke’s twin sons lead to a chance to get revenge.

There, we are all up to exactly the same point, everything is as organized as I can get it at the moment. Consider this the new starting point, or an actual starting point, since even when I started on scripts I didn't have nearly this clear an idea of how to proceed. I feel pretty damn good! Hope this gives everyone enough to read for a while!
>> No. 39733
I'll be reading through these over the next couple of days. I'll do my best to suggest edits where I can. Having a floating document on hand would probably be pretty handy, all told; that way we can edit a little bit more easily.
>> No. 39735
>>39710
>>39711

Its great seeing all this stuff together. It shows that more works been done than it originally appears. My take on a few things:

>>39728

The apple tree. I'm pretty sure you can have red and green on one (I know you can get half and half apples so it must be possible), but I'm sure it'll be no big deal if not, you can always write it off under poetic licence.

As for what colours to have, I think having one red amongst a load of green feels too much like an overt 'LOL VIRGINITY METAPHOR!' though that may be me having read too much Tom Hardy back in my english literature days. Having one green amongst red seems like a more intersting inversion, but I'm getting the feeling you could do something even cleverer, I just can't think of what that would be right now.

>>39731

Also I don't know if its just me again but the idea of bandits per say having the guile to take on the monarchy seems a little unusual. The term bandit seems to bring to mind people that pry on weak and undefended individuals rather than risk going for a high profile target and risking the wrath of the nation come down upon them.

Its more the King recognising them as bandits that bugs me a bit. If they were described as rebels or raiders (in the vain of the relationship with the irish and the scottish in that period, and in particular the vikings during the norman conquests springs to mind) they'd sound more credible a threat. I think its all about the terminology I don't know. Those are just my thoughts.

Everything else is top doller. I particularly like the "I am a girl that is also a boy, I have certain expectations" line.
>> No. 39988
File 130990121493.jpg - (144.69KB , 1000x772 , scan0004.jpg )
39988
Okay, so here are the layouts for pages 20 and 20 1/2 (according to the numbering on the progress sheet). Yeah, the comic is just getting longer and longer, isn't it?

p1
King: Thank you, Squire.
p2
King: Now, dear, be sure to give your aunt my congratulations, we received word she gave birth.
p3
Princess: You can tell her yourself when you arrive, father.
King: Of course, I'll be there just two days after you (this is tentative, I'll figure out a good amount of time)
Princess: I’ll leave that for you to do when you arrive. I’d rather be your diversion than the other way.
K: But then your servant girl (editnote: handmaid? What’s a good word here?) wouldn’t get the joys of playing princess!
:Servant girl (or whatever) in a somewhat multicolored wig and princess outfit, she has a comedic pose and expression)
Servant Girl: I think we did a great job, right girls?
:Other servant girls, all their hair is trimmed:
Girls: Yeah!

Page 20 1/2
p1:disguised servant girl dancing goofily in the foreground. In background, Princess looks annoyed, King shrugs it off comically:
Servant Girl: I’m so pretty, I’m so dainty!
Princess: I don’t think that’s the most flattering portrayal.
King: I’d scold her, but she’s a princess now.
p2
Princess having a laugh
p3
Sad face coming on in 3... 2... 1...
p4
Princess embraces her father. Break everyone's heart right here, I know you guys can do it.
p5
Princess (with saddest face ever): I love you, Daddy.
p6
King: And I love you, dear. Always.
>> No. 39989
File 130990178157.jpg - (135.15KB , 1000x775 , scan0005.jpg )
39989
Only line on these two pages is "Time to move out." on the first panel.

Page 21, and a redo of Page 22.
Shots of our main cast, and secondary characters are put in muted, grayed colors. A good pic of everyone marching out the castle gate.
After marching through the pre-dawn, they reach the peak of a hill and the rays of the sun hit the Princess. She looks back and lowers her hood. The castle is distant in the valley, the sun rising behind it. The reader should feel the pain of leaving home with the Princess

RESEARCH HELP: Anyone willing to look up a few castles we might use as a base, I think that would be awesome. I'm really unsure what type to look into, or how the area around it should really be set up.
>> No. 39990
File 130990245364.jpg - (71.70KB , 500x762 , scan0001.jpg )
39990
Page 52!

p1
shot past their heads as they plunge toward the water below

Then the rest is them leaping from the horse and splashing into the water.
>> No. 40020
>>39989

http://www.alnwickcastle.com/

Alnwick castle, I've been there, It's the one they used for series 1 of Blackadder, and it's you're got to place for a classic medieval scenery.
>> No. 40363
>>40020
Thanks for the suggestion, I'll be sure to check it out!

I'm going to try to focus on getting the rest of the script finished, so I'll be writing and rewriting for a while. Just don't want you guys to think I'm not working, I just won't have anything to show until I have a few drafts pushed out.
>> No. 40640
>Highness

King = Majesty
>> No. 41394
File 13195027745.jpg - (82.50KB , 500x806 , scan0002.jpg )
41394
Sorry for the long delay, I've been going through stupid personal garbage. I shouldn't let it get in the way of my basic duties. I'll post two layouts for now, and give you an update on my progress.

Here the Princess reveals that she totally isn't dead yet, which pleases Squire!
>> No. 41395
File 131950317054.jpg - (161.80KB , 1000x769 , scan0003.jpg )
41395
So here I thought we'd use two thugs to provide some exposition, by hinting at how much they know and what the bandit plans are so far. I will come back to this, because it was much clearer in my mind when I drew this, and my notes need a reorganizing.

I have the first camp scene scripted, no layouts yet. It'll be about 6-8 pages when finished, but it's got some good exposition mixed with a lot of cute moments. I have a bit of the bath scene that proceeds it laid out, but i haven't gotten all of it done yet.

I dropped another long running project because I want to remain focused on this. I have helped out a bit with the /co/ universe project, and even am semi committed to drawing a 14 page story I wrote, when I have the time and resources. But this is still my main focus, sorry for letting idiotic things get in the way of my work. I'll give you both an email sometime later this week.
>> No. 41465
Nice to see some updates. Huzzah!
>> No. 41936
I've been following this for a while and I have to say, this is some cool stuff. Great job guys.
>> No. 42038
File 13214099371.jpg - (64.97KB , 200x328 , most-interesting-dos-equis.jpg )
42038
>>41936
I don't come to /coc/ often, but when I do, I check to see if this thread's got any updates.
>> No. 42183
>>42038
same here. keep on keeping on, guys.
>> No. 42752
spambots all over this place
>> No. 42865
I kinda love original projects like this.
>> No. 44843
Listen, I don't want you guys to be disheartened from what I say here, but... is there any life left in this project? Are there any plans to move it forward? Its been about 6 months since an update. If its a case of people dropping out, then let us know, maybe there are new creators willing to get involved. If its a case that everyone involved has lost interest, then confirm it, because the last thing any of us want to see is a project we love dieing a slow death.

And crackers, its been long enough. Do we carry on (which I dearly hope we do)? or do we call it a night?
>> No. 44963
File 133688437487.jpg - (907.62KB , 748x1050 , 16665316.jpg )
44963
This was so great to behold!
>> No. 45137
>>44843
I'm alive and I feel pangs of guilt for my lack of work fairly often. I've had some personal issues that have sidelined my creative out put these last few months, things that began a few days after my last post in October. I do think about it still, and have a few random notes of ideas I'm not totally confident in lying around. This is the first chance I've really had to come and check on things, and I can not express how much the continued interest lifts my spirits. I'll try to get myself further out of this rut, but my new work schedule also has me busy or asleep most days. Once my schedule changes again, I'll have more time for projects.

I have not made an active attempt to contact Anderjak and Eli in some time. I'll try to make a proper go at that as soon as I have time to. I still want to do this project, I still love this project, I've just had to struggle with a lot of stuff sidelining me. I am trying to get back in the game, but I've barely drawn or written anything these past 6 months. This is a priority once I am going again.
>> No. 45178
>>44963
>>44963
>>44963
>>44963
<3<3<3<3
>> No. 45364
>>45137

Stranger, I love you in a brotherly way. I want that love to keep this project alive.

Oops that sounds sooper creepy.
>> No. 45489
>>45364
It's all good. I really want the best from this project, but part of me worries that I'm over thinking it. But then again, I'd rather do too much thought for it than not enough. Still, I'm making some progress.
>> No. 45798
Two month wake up call. Sorry to be callous but... any progress?
>> No. 45799
Two month wake up call. Sorry to be callous but... any progress?
>> No. 45800
Two month wake up call. Sorry to be callous but... any progress?
>> No. 45823
I'd like to see a story where Princess saves Squire, maybe as a bit of a one-off. I'd be curious to see more fiction where the feminine, long-haired one is the badass, and the short-haired tomboy in pants needs to be rescued.
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