Posting all the pages we have thus far so it's neatly laid out.

And the work in progress, just need some adjustments and critique from Eli and Stranger before I begin inks.

Please come up with an actual title. After a year, still calling it by that title sounds cheap and does what you have managed to make a disservice. I don't know how I can take seriously a title like Medieval Lesbians.

I love it, the perspectives in the first and last panels especially.

>>32717

We didn't have any intention of seriously calling it 'Medieval Lesbians.' To me its more of a pet name, plus everyone on here knows it by that, which is why I'm pretty just Anderjak used it as a title for the new thread, as well as the picture that started the whole project.

>>32723
*pretty sure

One day I'll learn how to type

>>32717

Why rename it, Like ronseal it does exactly what it says on the tin.

Just kidding, glad to see this back on track!

>>32717

It's officially [for the moment] called "Flowers in Bloom," I believe,
but "Medieval Lesbians" is how it's come to be known after years of puttering about on /co/. I titled it that way just for recognition purposes.

>>32723

Glad it's working! Focusing on more dynamic layouts and visual flow. Luckily, it looks like I won't need to divert from the original layouts at all [all of which are backed up on my laptop now, save for scripts and such], except maaaaybe some of the way older ones. We'll see when I get there. I'll start on the next page... Wednesday, I guess? And get this one inked as soon as Stranger gives it a once-over. I'm having a bit of difficulty with the dialog; thinking the Captain needs another bubble in the second panel.

I guess a forewarning to you is that I'm sort of seeing this as a fairly dramatic lighting situation? Heavy emphasis on the windows in the background. Might add torches as well. We'll see.

>>32729
I was already assuming heavy lighting. From what a remember its much later in the day/evenging when this scene takes place, so i was thinking cool shadows with heavy orangeish lighting.

>>32730

Sounds perfect to me.

Also, I'm currently shopping around hosting servers for a website I'm trying to get running. I'm thinking of possibly running FiB on there in its own section. Just a thought, since I'm sort of in the market to get a site running for online portfolio purposes anyway.

So what idea do you of how long the comics going to be, do you have rough idea of the plot or are you just seeing where it goes from here?

>>32898

No one's -exactly- sure how long it'll be [I'm looking at it and thinking a little more than a hundred pages, but I'm bad at guessing], but there is a rough plot figured out, a fairly specific beginning, middle, and end. The archived board has a couple of full plot outlines, actually.

I wandered around a while in the old boards before I fully realized what "new boards" meant. Sorry for my long absence.

I do like the look of the new page, another word bubble could be nice, since it's nice to show off Captain in 'official mode'. Only think I'm unsure of is his posture and expression in the last panel. On one hand, since he's know the King most of their lives, it seems odd that he'd had the slumped posture and worried expression as if he expected to be in trouble. On the other hand, it's really cute. I do see having him face the door to help indicate that it's shut behind the guards, but perhaps just a sound effect would be enough. Everything else seems perfect, and you've already discussed lighting (and obviously know exactly what I was thinking). I think I gotta go through my sketches and see if there are any layouts I haven't scanned, so I'll get them up as soon as I can.

Overall length is still pretty well in flux. The basic range I see if from 60-120 pages, which is a wide range. But probably somewhere solidly in the middle.

>>32924

Yeah, I'll rework the bubble a bit. I also have a couple of other pages in very rough sketch mode, which I'll clean up just a bit over the week. As for the Captain's expression at the end, I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking... All I know is, he's been unusually fun for me to draw, so I liked messing around. Probably just alter the brow and he'll be fine, maybe straighten up his posture.

Still trying to figure out how best to get that door shut without seeming to "comic book-y", I guess. Not too cartoony. I'll figure it out, send a pass out, and will get started inking on the earlier panels.

>>32962
Not sure either, but honestly, sometimes just doing it in as simple a comic book way as possible is best. While there are alot of advanced techniques and ideas on how to do stuff like that, but there is a certain joy in using the most tried and basic methods as well.

Looks great :)

Any word on how page 6 is coming along?

>>33172

Inking the last panel. Finally making use of Dropbox.com to throw my files up without lugging my laptop or a bunch of flash drives.

Hopefully, I'll be able to finish up with the inks and add in some shadow blocking tonight, but I've got a few things to take care of beforehand.

>>33202
Take your time C: I'm loving the art you're putting out over on your DA, so I'm fine with the wait hahaha

Sooo, I just discovered this now, and I have to say I hope it didn't stop because I really like what I've seen. It looks great, really. Danielle's art is lovely, and the interpretation by Anderjak and Eli is really fantastic. Stranger, you did a great job getting this moving and laying down solid work for it. So, having said that, please don't take these comments, criticisms and questions as meaning I dislike it or find terminal flaws in it. These things are not the case. Sooo, onto those points:

Why does the king send the princess to the duke for safety? Wouldn't the capitol theoretically be the safest place for her, since assassins can really be anywhere but the castle would have the best security in the land? Wouldn't putting her on the road be rather risky when he knows there are assassins about?

At one point you guys mentioned the king bringing his armies to the duke's castle, where he talks to him and they come to a decision whereby war is averted. If the king's armies are at the duke's castle, wouldn't they have already had to fight a war to get there? If not, what war would be fought? He has the Duke's castle already.

It was mentioned that you wanted to try to avoid having the squire kill many people, or at all if possible. I think this can be done pretty easily, as it's mentioned the squire is a skilled fighter, only not a knight because of her gender. Before or during fights she could tell those she's fighting/about to fight to surrender and win many smaller conflicts through intimidation bolstered by a show of skill/brief tussle.

Not that the bow doesn't look dynamic, but if we're going for accuracy with flowers, I thought I should mention a crossbow would be more likely. Longbows were more widely used because crossbows were more expensive and a skilled longbowman could fire six shots with a longbow for every shot with a crossbow. In the end, though, crowwbows were still used because they had more force and so better penetration. If you were trying to assassinate an armored taget, then, a crowwbow is what you would use.

By the end, why would the assassin be leading a troop of men? I find it odd the that duke would use a castle's captain as an assassin, or visa-versa.

If the assassin wants to kill the princess too, why does he just shove her aside? Once he's that close, why doesn't he just stab her? Also, the man's running from troops on horseback while on foot. running out of the forest he was already in into the plains would not be a good idea. Perhaps instead the princess was in the forest and he flees into the forest and runs into her on the way to his own horse? (Whom he stashed in a clearing on the other side of the forest.) Perhaps instead of him running into the princess, then, the squire could have been with her, allowing for a small scene with the princess. In this case, the squire is a medium distance from the princess at this point when she hears the assassin rushing through the trees. She sees him coming and notices him see the princess. She then rushes to the princess to save her, knocking the princess to the side to push her back from the assassin whom she just beat to the princess when she gets to her. The assassin, seeing the armed squire standing over the princess while he's on the run from the guards realizes he can't aford the fight and flees. This would give the king an even better reason to assign a squire instead of a knight to protect his daughter. She already did once and proved herself capable. It also gives the princess the opportunity to be a bit huffy over having been knocked down by her protector.

In the "squires horsing around" layout, it appears The Squire looses. I propose she does not loose. She's too good to.

In my mind the trip to the Duke's, because they're being harried, trying to lay low, and probably neither of them has been there before or has a map, could take a couple months, which would give them plenty of time to slowly get to know and fall in love with each other. If it's not what you guys were thinking, that's fine. I just thought I would share.

The duke positing the only way to prevent his sons from going to war is to assassinate the king and his daughter so he could give one of them the throne is highly problematic. First, it assumes he would be able to put one of his sons on the throne in the ensuing battle for succession there would likely be. Lets say he's next in line, though. Let's also say he believes what he says and ignores the fact that, historically, brothers have not always warred with each other to inherit a title. Let's say he's right. What he's doing then does not ensure peace for his sons. It ensures that when his sons have children, they will try to kill each other to have enough land themselves to prevent *their* children from going to war. Either way, I think his reasons are not only unreasonable but unrealistic. The story would be better served, I think, if he were simply next in line for the throne and hoped to make one of his sons king. I also agree with the anons who had problems with the ending. The Duke committed treason by trying to assassinate the royal family. This royal family is composed of a man hardened enough that he fought a war with his own brother for the throne and won and his ONLY child, a daughter who reminds him so of his long dead wife whom he still loves. I do not see this man forgiving the Duke. May I propose the following? The king does adopt one, or maybe both, of the Duke's son. The Duke, though, is executed for treason. The sons are taken from their family in part as an ironic punishment. The king had understood his daughter wanted freedom and had lately begun to wonder about his daughter's absolute lack of interest in boys. He does he his daughter again at the duke's castle and recognizes what there is between his daughter and the squire. He also realizes that, away from him, with the squire, she's grown in ways that made her manner seem different, at first almost unrecognizable from the daughter he knew. Upon consideration, though, he see she's grown in positive way, and that in her changes, she is perhaps more like her mother than ever. Having secured heirs, he then lets the crown pass from her. She and the squire live together, but their family's know where they are, and still keep in contact, even if the couple makes few, if any, appearances in court. Farming is a hard life. Especially then, it was hardly idyllic. Perhaps she can be treated as a minor landholder (which is farmed, perhaps, by the family of the surviving bandit) or an unlanded noble in the end.

All this came to mind only because I'm a writer/editor myself, and not because I dislike what you've all done. I don't. I'm a big fan. Feel free to discard anything I've suggested that you don't like, ask me for help/more opinions, and continue to make it as you think you should. Just don't stop. Please. It really does look lovely, and I'd like to own a hard copy of it some day to put on my shelf.


Also, the idea for this dialogue came to me while I was writing.

- After they're off by themselves in the forests.

Princess: But...I can help! I can look after your horse, help clean your armor...um...well, perhaps not help clean your armor. I-I don't think I could stand to wash blood out of something, but I can still help you.
Squire: There's no need, your highness.
Princess: I won't leave it all to you. That would be rude. I could be *your* squire.
Squire:Ah...no. Your highness, squire's don't have their own squires.
Princess: Perhaps not, but you're no ordinary squire, are you? You're as good as any knight.
Squire:(Perhaps blushing) Women can't be made knights.

Referenced waaay later when the princess looks at the squire and says simply but firmly, "You are my knight."

>>33324

It's still continuing, make no mistake. I'm in the middle of SEVERAL projects at my university and I'm behind in all of them, and, obviously, they take precedence. This story's still constantly on my mind, and when I'm not completely exhausted in my free time, I'm usually working on this.

I can't even begin answering all the questions so far, but I can identify a couple of key things and offer my opinion on them. Keep in mind, I definitely don't have final say on this, and much of it is largely from my own conjecture. Stranger's got his stance, and I'm confident he can answer things much better than I could. That said:

I picked the longbow, personally. Not so much out of a lack of research, but I picked it largely because of the cost issue, as well as one of silence. It's easier to string a bow in silence than it is to load a crossbow. Not only that, but a longbow is also unwieldy when running, meaning it's a lot more sensible to completely abandon it in a run. I was approaching it from a modern logic, though, so if it doesn't fit logically with the vague setting we've established, then that's probably my own bad.

I'd figured there were particular logic strains with the Princess being sent to another castle: 1) The King is deathly afraid of losing his child almost more so than losing his kingdom. 2) If the castle were overrun in the slightest -- which certainly could be a possibility, under extreme circumstances -- then the safest place would honestly be any other castle that isn't under attack. I assumed it was a bit of an emotional lashback on the King's part.

We definitely had a discussion on the Squire's own life-taking tendencies. I'd come to the conclusion that, while she is by no means a murderer, she will take a life if the situation calls for it. She is an honorable knight, however, and will allow the option of surrender in many cases. She's still fresh from training throughout the bulk of this story, so she's still going to be swept up in a bit of that knightly romantic image, so to speak. (Romantic in terms of, say, the way the Army portrays their soldiers to be upper echelon, climbing mountains and slaying dragons.)

On two of the assassin points, I attempted to portray it as the assassin being unaware he'd just knocked over the Princess. I actually thought of him making some kind of revelation and getting supremely pissed off at himself for missing a chance when he had it, on a next meeting later in the story. Of course, I can't exactly come up with a reason WHY he wouldn't recognize the Princess, except possibly merely the rush of escape clouding his recognition.

Or, rather, that I assumed the assassin wasn't really the Duke's to own, but a bandit from a camp that was hired by the Duke to cut off any direct ties between him and the assassin himself. In which case, the assassin likely isn't going to do any more work than what he's paid to do, and may not've even been told a Princess WOULD be there.

As for the logic of the King and Duke meeting at the Duke's castle, King's army in tow, I assumed a war hadn't happened YET, but the political turmoil was causing a bit of chaos. Recon groups would likely be out in search, hoping for an advantage, but I don't think it was ever made certain that there would be a lot of King vs Duke swordclashing in the fields or forests. Much of the travel for the Princess and Squire is merely avoiding bandits and surviving on very little after the earlier incidences, and dealing with whatever offshoots may come.

I know a lot of people had difficulty with the ending(s), though I find it funny that your suggestions, aside from the Duke's own execution, is still largely the same as how we'd eventually decided. I'm either way on the Duke's execution, but if I could talk about a thing or two:

The concept of their sons, or their sons' sons, deciding to kill one another for the title... I strongly believe that whomever so chose to take up the Duke's castle, this has a possibility of happening regardless. Vicious cycle, as it were. Having lived through it once, the King probably understands this to a great deal. Though, as I've stated, I'm still either way on the Duke's own fate, I still believe the King wouldn't necessarily immediately lash out. He wants to avoid war; he wants to avoid taking the lives of even more family, if he can. This may come up as an incredibly difficult decision in the end, where people can probably understand his thought process either way, even if they don't necessarily agree with his final decision.

Beyond that, with the Princess and Squire living off on their own, I THINK what you suggested has been established. The Princess isn't so much a Princess, officially; she's taken on as a landowner, and even occasionally helps tend to the field, though the Squire and anyone they might've hired will definitely be doing a far greater share overall. I never knew exactly how it'd turn out in terms of the King and Captain questioning any bit of preference toward a particular gender that their girls might have, but considering the King and Captain's early development, it would be perhaps unfair to not at least elucidate to their opinions on the matter in SOME detail, regardless of whether we even see them for a majority of the story or not.

Again, I claim no final verdict. Stranger and Ein both have their own say as well, I'm merely offering my own thoughts and reasonings on the matter. Since it's still very much a work in progress, there's room to change as we work. And any suggestions on story are appreciated; working on my own stuff privately for the past few months, I can definitely attest to an outside party helping to iron out anything that may or may not work.

Thank you for taking the time to answer everything. You know, I found I was reading the dates on the most recent posts completely wrong, and so I thought nothing had been posted here at all for about a month, hence my concern. Now that I'm reading it correctly, I realize there was no reason for me to worry about that at all. This makes me happy.

Oh. I didn't really think he was a common bandit. That would change things. I just figured if he managed to sneak into the royal cemetery armed and undetected, especially while the king was there with his guard, and was confident enough to make the attempt alone, he had to be someone special.

But if the king's at the duke's doorstep with an army, as I thought was proposed for the end, wouldn't they have had to fight their way there? If not, once there, what war would the king really have to fight if he already has his army in the duke's walls?

My biggest concerns about the ending were these: That the duke gets away mostly scott free, that the princess and the squire end up cut off, nearly exiled, from their previous lives, and the princess and squire's family and friends suffer their loss to the advantage of the Duke's children through a situation forced on them.

The second I feel you all addressed when you said the princess and the squire's desire to escape their lives would be established as a growing sentiment throughout the story. The rest, I think, is quite different. The duke pays in some significant way for his crimes. The king agreeing to accept the son whom the duke meant to put on the throne doesn't seem like much of a punishment at all. I think the king executing the duke for his crimes and taking the sons as his own has a different sentiment to it and leaves the duke's lands bereft of an heir. This leaves the king free to appoint an heir of his choosing if none is named. I also don't see this as the king lashing out so much as saying, "You may not attempt to assassinate others, leave alone me and my only daughter, and be left unpunished." Even from a law and order perspective, I think it looks pretty bad if you can get away with attempted assassination without a minimum of dungeon time.

As for the farm, it was my understanding that the princess and the squire became farmers as opposed to owners of land on which farmer's worked. If I was wrong, well, then yeah, not much of a change there. Still, there's the significant point of them not having to stay hidden and their friends and family not believing they're dead. Instead, they take their lives in their hands with the support and acknowledgment of their loved ones, who remain a part of their lives.

Again, this is just my take on things. Thank you again, and keep up the good work.

>>33344

Not a lot of content had been posted, but everyone of us have been in talks, keeping in contact, so, at the very least, it's still much assumed we're continuing as planned.

I believe much of the thought about the battle between the King and Duke was largely meant, at least in the original drafts, to be in the background, as it wasn't the full story. It was merely a backdrop for the main characters to move against. Obviously, since some of the characters are getting more development than was originally planned, the magnifying glass is being put to those secondary and tertiary characters. I'm personally nervous moving the story too far away from our established duo, but, again, I'm not the one writing it. Merely tweaking the dialog and layouts, if that.

Perhaps the assassin managed to sneak in over the course of a couple of days? I'd imagine it'd be far easier to sneak onto the grounds a few days prior to the King's visit than it would be to sneak in, day-of. Or he stowed away in a cart sent by the Duke; simple subterfuge during a layover in another town. Then again, we're also slicing arrows in twain in mid-air, so perhaps absolute logic isn't always ideal. (It had to be drawn. It was too awesome not to.)

Anyway. Your concerns are definitely warranted, but from what I can tell, for the most part, you can lay a lot of the worries to rest. I think we're heading in a good direction, and much of the work needing to be done and tweaked is further along in the story.

Honestly, I'm just heartstruck in the best of ways that you took the time to analyze so much in such a constructive way. It lets me know we're still on to something here, and we're doing enough right to warrant such a response, and I hope I'm speaking for all three of us here.

So, thanks.

Also, I'm working on a couple of things throughout the day tomorrow. I'd planned on working on the next page tomorrow, and will have a sketch of the next page soon after (it's technically already done; I just need to clean it up from the mess my sketches tend to be).

>>33344

Agreeing with Anderjak here. It really says something to me that you are so interested in the story and making sure it all connects well. It's really flattering.

Holy hell, this page is pissing me off... I finally wrap it up, and it won't downsize properly. Ends up looking like a fuzzy mess that hurts my eyes. I'll see if I can get a solution for it, I'll try to have it ready tomorrow.

>>33366

Disregard that. Photoshop just likes to fool me into thinking it was all my fault.

Little tip: OpenGL sucks. Here's the inks I have so far; I'm not particularly proud of how this came out, especially considering how long it took me to finally get to it, but if there are any changes that need to be made, or any questions... Well, you know the drill. I'll post a high-res version as soon as I get a confirmation.

>>33344
It's magic, I don't gotta explain shi-

Wait, no, that's now right...

I agree with the others, thank you very much for the input. I've been unfocused lately and it certainly helped bring my head back into the game.

Anderjak already mentioned it, but yeah, I just like the look of the longbow more. Just feels more dynamic for the moment. Especially the thought of him drawing the murderous shot back as he aims for the kill.

Since we're not up to the point where they detail the mission, I am surprised I hadn't thought it out better. As I am an old school DM, I remember running a game where players escorted a prince to his wedding secretly (I even had another group later escort the princess to that same wedding). The took backroads and traveled light, while a fully armed caravan took a decoy, to draw any trouble. The king could plan something like that, allowing himself to be decoy to insure the princess makes it. He also wouldn't want to leave her at the castle while he took such a large part of the force out, thinking she would be safest on the road as long as no one suspected (we would than be having them set off at night). Or course than I have to figure why the bandits find them, unless it's just the fact that the bandits are pretty good at being bandits. This plan would also explain why the King has a decent force with him, and traveled well into the Duke's land.

As for the assassin, my basic idea for him is that he's a bandit leader, who would be able to gain a title if he works for the Duke. He's lead the bandits for a long time, and is a rather cruel and ambitious man. I'm pretty fine with him having any terrible fate we can think of for him (part of me is thinking his cloak catches on fire during a final fight and he dives out a window)

For the Duke, I'd still feel bad about killing him though. Since I see him as a man who is just deathly afraid of the future. I think it would mean a lot if he offered to accept execution though, and the King had mercy in the form of exile. He would also be likely to trust his late wife's sister with stewardship (or whatever it's called) of the Duke's land until the child is old enough to govern it. Perhaps the Duchess should actually have a more prominent role in the meeting with the Duke and King, even if she is still weak from giving birth to the twins. I guess I should also look into stuff more, cause I guess it might not be important at all for the princess to pretend to be dead, so maybe all the characters can have a proper final meeting that resolves the issues, and allows the Princess to talk her father down herself. It also means one less scene that would be missing our two leads, which is always a bonus in my opinion!

Thank you again! Anything I didn't address or missed... Magic, yadda, yadda, yadda (unless I figure it out later).

The new page looks good, Anderjak. I'm glad you were able to overcome all the frustrations that got in your way, great work!

Well! Here's the HR.

What about the Queen?

Oh yeah, remember when I said I already did the sketch for page 7? Yeah, it's cleaner than I thought.

I'm gonna try something new with the underdrawing; I'm really hoping it'll help improve the work overall. I'll keep you guys informed.

>>33449

And thank you for reminding me I need to play like fifty goddamn hours of Fable 3.

>>33460
It's beautiful... have I told you before that my love for you is like a truck?

>>33474

... It... Has a large towing capacity?

Ok, here's page 6. I'm worried the colors might be too dynamic if that makes any sense. I asked around and everyone seems to think it fits the mood alright, so let me know what you guys think.

>>33491

I personally like it. I'm kind of missing some cool colors in the shadows, though, something to help tie everything together. Outside of that, I'm really satisfied.

>>33491
Wow, this is really good

And yeah, what about the queen?

>>33460
Did you come to an agreement about whether the squire is supposed to be concealing the fact that she's a girl? And if so, when will the princess find out?

>>33491
I think I agree. I don't think this is up to your usual standard, but then I'm not an artist, and I couldn't really say why, so...yeah. Feel free to take that with a grain of salt.

>>33537

I THINK it's like this: It's not so much that the Squire's gender is concealed, it's just that she's a natural. The King and Captain are well aware of it, though they still use a more appropriate pronoun concerning the Squire's profession. Fairly certain some of the other squires are also aware of it, along with the King's guard, but don't quote me on that. There's a page written by Stranger where the Squire is introduced to the Princess, and it's made evident the true sex. What was the line? "I may be a woman, but I make for a very handsome boy!" I forget the exact details from the old thread, but that's what I recall.

>>33510

Well, that question is answered roughly in the next couple of pages.

Just a quick question. Was it decided that the Dukes men would wear different uniforms than the kings? and if so what heraldry, colours etc were you thinking of?

>>33539
Yeah, you got it alright! Squire basically has a boy's role in life, and is quite pleased to be so good at it.

>>33666
I honestly kinda forgot the Duke needs his own colors for his flags and troops. I think a different base color (perhaps blue) with a similar gold trim. But, that's just an off the head suggestion, and I'm somewhat delirious from being sick right now. So I'm pretty open to anything. Also, the Duke's men don't show up for a long while, so we have a bit of time.

Been a bit quiet here of late, any progress?

>>33781

I'm currently going through finals. I'll ink the pages I have when I can, but it might not happen til the 6th or 7th when my semester's finally over.

>>33781
This is the heavy season at my work, but I'm still doing a few passes when I can on layouts. Just unsure of a few things and unwilling to skip around. I'll power through it though.

You guys are missing something

>>33847
Well...

http://books.google.com/books?id=2gkTUk3SFSQC&pg=PA46&lpg=PA46&dq=Gothel+lesbian&sou
rce=bl&ots=48b3a5nz1f&sig=7E8UGGQfAv3yr0b24-Bs7ksp2Pw&hl=en&ei=LuQDTdnLFpG6nAe_77TlD
Q&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBMQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=Gothel%
20lesbian&f=false

I just realized I had 2-3 pages that I hadn't posted, and I burned through 6 in the past 3 days, which gets up through the main portion of the fight scene! I'll try to upload them tomorrow, I have work early and need to clean up a revise them a bit further. I'll probably just start right after the last page I posted on the old boards, and continue as normal. I probably need to expand the whole departure scene by a page or three, I have a few ideas for minor interaction between the King and Squire, and adding a bit beforehand where the King sets up that the Princess takes after her mother, who was "Always the diplomatic one". And a minor allusion to the past by him mentioning that most of his political dealings were "at the tip of a sword". Just some ideas to tighten things up, but I think the pages upto and including the introduction of the Squire are perfect for all plans thus far. I'll try to keep my fires burning as best I can, but know I grow more and more confident in the comic everday.

>>33902

Sounds good, something to look forward to

Okay, so here we build more tension, the Captain and Squire know they are surrounded, and got a feeling about the abandoned fort looming above them. I... kinda forget a lot about this, cause I drew this forever ago. So I'll try to give some solid dialog for it later.

And here we actually show our bad bandits. I will try to do some sketches someday, but they should all have a pretty good design. They wear masks and a lot of their outfits are visibly stitched and patched together. The dialog will revolve around them realizing the knights are aware of them and they'll have to 'do it' now instead of waiting to catch the last ones. The plan is to shove at the already weakened fort tower and collapse it on the rear guard of the convoy, leaving them no escape for from the ambush ahead. So basically, the plan goes off, but since Captain and Squire are so badass, the Squire and Princess end up behind the main ambush.

Yes, I thought of it in a VERY D&D encounter sort of way.

This one I also did a long while ago, but I edited it a bit to mesh with the stuff I just finished. The big tower collapse fills the area with dust, both from its destruction and from the dirt kicked up. Squire is knocked from her horse, on the next page the princess looks on through the dust to see the ambush, as knights and bandits clash in full. It should feel surreal, the word bubbles should all be 'faded', probably a readable gray. All that is, except the LAST word bubble, where one of the bandits noticed the princess and shouts at her.

I should also note, since I didn't fully erase lines like I should have, the scene of her looking at the battle is one HUGE panel. There will be a lot of empty, gray dust filled space at the top, and that is as it should be.

And here we have one of the bandits grab the princess, ready to kill her. BAD END

first page
p1:
-squire: HALT!
p2:
-squire: UNHAND THE PRINCESS! (Note at this point it is still 'the' princess, not 'my')
Page should should be OOZING with badassery.

2nd page, well, the only dialog is on the layout. Basically, we remember that Squire is only human, she just had a tower almost fall on her and she got flung from the horse. The bandit goes for the moment to finish the only threat.

first page
p1: bandit should look like a wild dog of a man, overjoyed by the moment before the kill.
p2-4: Exhaustion. Fighting through pain. Determination.
p5: The sword uprooted...
p6: ...the spear deflected.
p7: RIGHTEOUS FURY!

second page
p2: Squire acknowledges the kill with a look. In my mind, it's her first kill, but I'm not sure we talked about it in length.
p3: No time to waste, the Squire goes to secure the Princess, when an off panel yell calls her attention.
p4: The last two bandits from the collapsed tower have arrived.

First page
I figure a fun part here is that you really see she is her father's son. Deflecting a knife might not be as badass as splitting and arrow, but hey, they both could probably fight your average ninja. Big guy attacks, and Squire dodges.

second page
An upward swipe takes the big guy in the eye, forcing a bellow of pain and rage from him. A blind, but purposeful punch finds its mark, sending the Squire stumbling. The big guy himself stumbles after his counter attack and knocks his comrade off to the side.

The next pages are going to be a full on chase scene, which I feel is a whole other affair. I might also be smart to go back and do any and all revisions that make sense so far. I am glad to have this done for now though, especially since I've had so little time lately. Feedback is a must, but I feel pretty confident. This is much better than all the other start and stops I had with the scene, which I struggled with for quite a while.

I'm really liking these layouts. Lots of opportunities for dynamicism. I think the only things I might change are a few perspective things, and that's about it.

I'm finally out of school, by the way. I'll get on the next page ASAP.

how goes it, everyone?

King needs to look more badass.

>>34696

>>34649
I have been pretty fucking busy is what!

>>34696
>>34697

Despite this king looking pretty cool, I've gotten attached to what we have (Plus i doubt we're gonna go back and change pages sooo)

>>34649
I have been working on layouts... realize I'm not sure where my sketchpad is. Really hope it isn't lost, I didn't scan the chase stuff I took a crack at so far.

Chase stuff is probably going to get redone anyway, I don't trust myself to nail it on the first pass. Got a few decent ideas for the follow up of the chase, not sure how fast I should shift the mood. And I'll work on the previous scenes that I need to redo soon (the sections I mentioned wanting to work on in earlier post)

>>34805
It's the same for me. School's been a bitch and a half because I'm graduating this semester [not to mention I may be teaching soon]. Quietly sketching out pages and messing around with inking techniques so I don't fall out of practice or lose track of the project.

Finally figuring out when I can actually get to drawing these without taking a huge chunk out of my schedule. Submitted for your approval before I post the high-res.

Also, I had an idea for the next page... Could we have a long shot of a painting of the Queen? I sort of inadvertently set it up with the king in this shot, and I think the portrait could work. I asked Eli if she'd be interested in taking a crack at that particular image (which means I have less to ink, ha ha!).

I'm going to attempt to work on sketches during the week, with inks on Mondays and Tuesdays where I have a fair amount of free time in between classes. I've got a few tools I want to try to hopefully make the process a little easier and quicker.

>>35246

Just thought I'd be the first to say the new page is outstanding as usual

Hello chaps, I'm sure you're all busy working away, but it has been a little quiet around here of late.

So as way of offering a little bit of encouragement, I thought I'd do a bit of... fan art I suppose you could call it.

>>35246
It looks, great! I looked over it several times, as usual, and everything feels right. I quite like the idea for the painting. I'm working on a few revisions later on, tell me if there is any confusion when I get that stuff posted. The scene you're working on now of course is all set.

>>35491
This warms my heart!

>>35647

Sweet! Glad you dig. I was waiting until the page got approved before the high-res because I'm probably WAY too overly cautious, but here we go. Here's the high res, without the sketchy part in the second-to-last panel I forgot to take out in the small version.

>>35491

Ha, I expected people to draw their own interpretations of the chars, but I never expected any sort of fanart. Makes me feel incredibly guilty (more so than I already was) that production's been so slow on my end.

As I said before, I thought of a few additions to the departing scene... mainly that it wasn't a departing scene, it was squire hopping on a horse. So here is the expanded scene, and all layouts I have for it. I think it helps the scene really establish some important aspects of the King's place in the story, which is good since it's his last scene until near the end.

:Torchlit halls of the castle, King and Princess are walking side by side, expressions somewhat serious:
K: Have you given much thought to the suitors we discussed?
P: Well… I have weighted the advantages of each. The son of the Count would be the best choice, due to the family silver mines and shipping contracts. But…
K: (making an appropriate impression face) …But, he looks like a frog, right?
P: Haha! Well, yes, but that would be a selfish reason to turn him away!
K: Nonsense! I can’t have any frog faced grandchildren! Think of the sudden decline in the family portraits.
:Both laugh:
P: (a panel to ease the shift from laughter to a solemn tone) About the plan…
K: (raised eyebrow) You have concerns?
P: (serious) Many.
K: Have no fear! If you knew half the absurd plans the Captain and I have successfully pulled off in our youth, you’d-
*page break*
P: Probably feel you were both due for a catastrophe.
:reaches the point of the old layout, where the King and Princess exit the castle into the courtyard. Will probably have to be redrawn to account for the new flow of things, I’ll try to take a crack at it later. Obvious change is that it is night, so there are a few torches about:
Knights in the foreground: “Do you think he’ll do it this time?” “Last time he tried the horse walked off midjump!”
King: Hmmm, well, I guess I’ve a fair share of those as well.
:Captain and Squire in foreground, squire prepped for run:
C: Like most things, this is about timing, son, so don’t rush it.
S: I have this, father! Just you watch!
P: Father, if anything should happen-
K: Daughter, look!

K: (line continued) Your champion at work!
:Squire sprints, leaping on the back of her horse. Everyone cheers, though the Princess is less impressed:
K: Good show! Don’t you agree, daughter?
P: I suppose, though I’m not sure how much such a skill will come in handy.
K: Let me congratulate our young squire.
:Insert "and that's how I lost my hymen" panel here:
:This is another moment off from the old layouts, as the king approaches the triumphant, horse hopping squire:
K: Well played.
S: Your Majesty! I am most honored, M’lord!
K: No need for such formality, I’ve known you since you were but a babe. I would have a moment with you though.
S: Of course, my king.
:King offers his hand and Squire offers hers a bit hesitantly. King grips her hand tight: (a panel of him gripping her hand might be good to add, on the next page though.)

K: She is my world… care for her as such.
:A silent panel extends this moment. I’m not that ashamed to admit that I’m probably inspired by the passing on of ‘the package’ scene in Halo Reach:
S: (her grip now matching the kings) I shall protect her as though our lives were one and the same, M’lord.
:Final preparations are made, this scene is pretty loose in my head. A panel of the Squire looking at the hand the King held would be nice, a silent testament of her preparing for her responsibility. Apologies in advance if I leave layouts entirely to you on this one, but if I can work on it I will.:
K: Be sure to give my regards to your aunt when you get there.
P: I’ll leave that for you to do when you arrive. I’d rather be your diversion than the other way.
K: But then your servant girl (editnote: handmaid? What’s a good word here?) wouldn’t get the joys of playing princess!
:Servant girl (or whatever) in a somewhat multicolored wig and princess outfit, she has a comedic pose and expression)
Servant Girl: I think we did a great job, right girls?
:Other servant girls (editnote: establish them by adding them to Squire intro scene) all their hair is trimmed:
Girls: Yeah!
(The above is just a cute gag I thought would be fun. It COULD be cut... but I think the little tension relief just before the real emotional impact helps out. Also, it's the kinda goofy stuff I love.)
:King smiles at the Princess, she has a smile, but tears pooling in her eyes. Perhaps a flashback to the Queen as the King looks at his daughter:
:Princess and King embrace, they know they might never see eachother again:
P: I love you, daddy.
K: And I love you, dear. Always.
:She leaves, no waving, only solemn looks. Panels showing Princess and than King’s last looks, other characters are mostly in darkness/muted colors to help focus being only on them:
:After marching through the night, they reach the peak of a hill and the rays of the sun hit the Princess. She looks back and lowers her hood. The castle is distant in the valley, the sun rising behind it. The reader should feel the pain of leaving home with the Princess (editnote: we need to add an establishing shot of the castle earlier, possibly in the Squire intro scene)

As you see, here is the layout for the 'she is my life' page, a picture of the handmaid/servant girl/whatever in costume and a rough, rough layout for the final looking back at the castle. Again, I totally thank you guys for coming onto this, cause I would never have probably gotten around to writing this scene as wonderfully as I feel it is now without all the inspiration you both provide. Not to mention all the help from those here on the boards. Sorry it took so long to get this up, I'll try to see about adding that page between the Squire intro and the "I AM a hansom boy!" page. As for the revisions to the Squire into scene, mainly it's adding an establishing shot of the castle and changing one of the groups/people that says hello to squire into 3-4 very distinctive looking servant girls (as they will only appear in that panel and the one above, they have to be pretty darn distinctive), so I hope it's okay if I don't bother drawing it. I guess we should fine a good castle to base this one off of, but I don't really have any ideas right off.

I decided to hell with it, and post the script I wrote real quick for the scene immediately following the introduction of the Squire. This dialog should take one page, with a bit going into the next (which is where the old layout's pick up). Tell me if any clarification needs to be done with all of this, I know the notes are scattered and a bit jumbled now. Still, now everything from the start until the most recent layout is planned and there shouldn't be any surprise additions (knock on wood). The old idea was just to establish the plan in some real forced exposition. Now we have forced exposition, some subtle exposition, and the important mention that the Princess has some solid diplomacy skills. I'll probably work on the chase scene next, and keep moving forward.

Extended planning scene
C: …it seems a solid plan, but why do you think the Duke will help us?
K: Well, his father was more than willing to help us in the past.
C: Yes, but that was his father, and even then it was for his own purposes.
K: Well, his is also married to my daughter’s aunt, that has to count for something!
C: And if not, that’s why the Princess herself will be there, yes?
K: Exactly, she knows how to negotiate in ways that don’t involve the point of a sword!
C: Heh. So, do you agree I should take the old hidden path?
K: Yes, we should be the only ones who know of it.
C: Just be careful when you follow the next day on the main road, we never know what the bandits might try.
K: I’ll take every precaution, just be sure to get there with all haste.
:Scene sifts to layouts where Squire and Princess are walking together after the Squire’s intro:

Why did the duke’s father help them? Who else could know about the old hidden path? Find the answer in the prequel! Or not… I’ll tell you how that goes after this comic is wrapped up.

I gotta say, I'm really liking the dialog so far, particularly that first back-and-forth between the Princess and the King [I laughed at the frog bit]. I am getting a little lost on the order and the notes, though. I've been trying to organize everything on my own folder, but I need some help to make sure there aren't any holes.

By the way, with the last bit of dialog you posted, I like it, but I had a quick question about a line:

C: Yes, but that was his father, and even then it was for his own purposes.
K: Well, his is also married to my daughter’s aunt, that has to count for something!

The king's line, "Well, his is..." That first "his" threw me off. Is it supposed to be "he"? Sorry, my reading comprehension can be low at times, I just want to make sure I understand everything as well as possible.

Outside of that, the layouts look good overall. Some are a bit crowded, however [particularly the left page of >>36239 ], and might need to be broken up. Might expand it by a page just to give it room to breathe, but I'll see about playing around with the layout to conserve space.

>>36249
I'm cool with any changing about that you think are best, I whipped these up at an even more rushed pace than usual. I mainly wanted to toss out a few ideas for basic angles and bubble placement (not that those can't be changed as well).

It is "he", I just didn't proofread it well. I'm thinking of trying to find a nice way to organize everything, with finished pages upto this point, followed by layouts and scripts until the parts that are pure outline are at the end. I will have to figure out what is best, I might just have to prepare some sort of document or pdf for it. But for now, know the scene you're working on now leads directly into the Squire's introduction scene, followed by >>36244

Glad you like it. I'm always unsure of my dialog, but I think it flowed pretty well this time.

I'm REALLY sorry I haven't gotten the latest page colored yet. I've been pretty Unmotivated to do anything lately. I'm gonna get it done though.

Also, agreeing with anderjak.Really loving the scripting

>>37580

I don't think anyone's gonna hold it against you, ha. Not after my delays. I'm trying to keep a decent work flow going, though; I have half of the next page inked, just need to take some time on Monday to wrap it up. I figure, as long as there's always a small bit of work, it's easier to get back into it with each page.

Any progress guys? Even just a small update?

Don't want to sound like I'm hassling you, I'm not, I just Don't want to see such a labor of love slip off the radar.

I haven't been putting near enough time into this, or any of my projects. I have an absurd month ahead of me, but after that I'll try to be sure to devote most of late summer to getting the core scripts and layouts going again. I also need to take sometime to make sure nothing else needs a revision and that everything is properly organized so we can keep going at a solid pace. I've let too much time wasting stuff get in my way, along with a few honest distractions (had a tooth ripped out, which is always fun).

I have no intention of abandoning the project though, so don't worry about that. I suppose I should finish as much as I can, just so that nothing is lost if I get abducted by aliens or otherwise tied up.

The project's still on my mind pretty regularly. I just haven't had the time, going to school full time AND working 20 hour weeks on top of that [granted, still on campus as an animator, but still]. I'm graduating within a week or so, and while I'll be working over the summer, it won't be nearly the workload I've been having.

The more time that passes, though, the more I'm dissatisfied with the work I've done thus far, haha. I'm occasionally trying some things out in my free time to make the individual drawings and panels themselves better from the start, rather than trying to save them with the inking. I've also switched to Manga Studio as my primary drawing program, since it packages everything very nicely as a sort of one-stop shop for comic-making and the brush/pen tool in it is one of the best I've ever experienced in the history of ever. [No exaggeration.] With that said, part of me REALLY wants to go back and redraw the original pages or make some model sheets to kind of... give everyone an interesting silhouette and maybe flesh out the castle and some of the environments a little more, BUT. That's really up to everyone else. Until then, I'll do what I can to continue on. Because I really want to see this thing through, even if time occasionally doesn't want to let me.

>>38977
If you did that, you'd make me want to go back and redo even more of my old layouts! But, before we take a step like that, I say for the model sheets and get exactly the feel you want. Honestly, even with you didn't go over the old stuff much, it's not like sudden change or refinement of style is unheard of in a comic. Take the original Sin City story, from the first installment to the last there were some huge style refinement as the vision became more defined. I think it also helps that we haven't gotten to the Squire pages yet, so you wouldn't be backtracking over any of her scenes.

Tell me if there is anything I can do to assist, I'm working on a few sketches just to help me get my head back in the game.

Fella who did the Squire and Princess fan art here.

After what you've all just said. I wish there was something I could do to ease the burden, other than just offering encouragement and feedback. But since you have all your bases covered (writer, artist, colourist) I'd just feel as though I'd be a spare part butting into somebody elses project.

As you probably can see my arts ok but not fantastic. If there's anything you can think of that can help you along, I'd be happy to contribute. Again I don't want it to sound like I'm trying to jump in at the back door. This is your own thing, and I don't want to take that away from you.

>>39102
Did you checked the original thread in the old board?
If you didn't, I highly reccomend you to check it out:
https://plus4chan.org/boards/coc/res/12458.html

It¡s quite amazing all the ideas that led to this wonderful projetc.

>>39146

Yes, I've been following it for quite a while now. Its evolution is what interests me most.

Woke up, wanted to work, wanted to make sure I stayed motivated, so I drew this little thing while listening to some music. I think I need to get on acting on every idea I get, I leave to many in my head. I mean, worst case scenario is I produce an unorganized mess, and we have to sort it out.

>>39234
2 of 3

>>39234
>>39235
3 of 3. You can probably tell how much I woke up from page 1 to page 3.

>>39102
The support always helps, and it certainly helps motivate! I'll be trying to get more stuff up, so as it goes any opinions help. It's thanks to everyone that we all keep shooting for even higher goals and try to deliver the very best comic we can! Honestly, I'm sure I'll make a few mistakes as I get into the action stuff, so tell me if it's not exciting, or if the action is too jumbled. I'll also try to lay more of the overall plan out and that will give more chances for help. Thanks again!

I thought that you guys would like to see this.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/movies/mickey-has-two-dads/story-e6frfmvr-1226015944009

>>39365
That's pretty awesome.

I got a few layouts going, sorry that I've been slow to scan. Hope to get some up soon.

>>39237

I really like you're style, I don't know what it is about it, its just great.

Going to have a look through the storyline notes from the original thread, since nobodys mentioned anything in a while.

Realized I talked of revising the Squire intro pages, so here they are. Addressed at least adding a basic set up shot of the castle, though perhaps a further out one with the Sqire's horse galloping towards it would be much better. Also introduce the other servant ladies, who are a bit gossipy, talking about the Princess getting a protector. Otherwise, things follow the same course as the old layouts.

And here is the page that follows, with the Squire's proper intro. This hopefully handles all the revising we'll need for a while.

Moving forward, these pick up from the end of the fight scene. Squire is reeling a bit from the hit she took, but quickly hops back into action, running on no end of adrenaline at this point. A little payoff to her running horse mounting, and the girls ride off!

I will get on figuring a way to organize this, both the layouts and the scripts (and script BITS for when I was extra jumbled).

>>39598
Since it's REALLY unclear, in panel 2 bandit riders are hopping over the tower debris and getting ready to attack.

And here is the start and end of the chase scene, so exciting chase stuff will be between these two pages (sorry, I totally lost my first draft of those pages). At the start we'll establish princess is facing back and holding to squire for dear life, and that 3 badguys follow. At the end, squire hops a log into a 'clearing' only to find the clear area past the log is a cliff! This will be followed by squire grabbing the princess and diving off the horse in midair, into the rushing river below. We're sure ending up with a lot of dead horses, poor things.

>>39599
Oh, damn, panel 2 there is actually 2 panels, one of squire looking forward, and the other of princess looking back over squire's shoulder.

Also, ideas for the chase include them dodging an arrow at the last second (fired from a crossbow). I can't remember much else, honestly, but I'll see what I can think of. The chase deserves a few good bits, just want to be sure it doesn't get out of hand.

Okay, I'm going to work on the next one of these after I eat, but this is the first 28 pages in their most current form for easy reference! I'll admit, it took me a while to go through both threads, my own jumbled notes and files just to make sure I'm not missing TOO much. I'll add more notations as time goes on, and make a script/outline document later to go along with the layouts. For now, I hope this helps a lot.

And here is sheet two! I think, now that things are numbered, I'm finally figuring out just how long this will end up being! Over 50 pages, and they're just now on their own! I'll try to get the script and outline draft done soon, I just know it'll take longer to properly organize, but I'll try to get it done right.

>>39710
>>39711

VERY nice. I'm liking this, and have been needing it for some time.

>>39712
I'm glad I finally got around to doing it. I also realize I hadn't posted the last 3 pages of layouts, showing Squire surfacing and looking for the Princess, so I'll post them now.

>>39713
And here is the follow up pages.

I'll try to make sure everything has a revised outline soon, which will probably be rather lengthy. One thing I've been thinking about is: should we have 'chapters'? Even if it's as simple as a not at the top or bottom of a page saying "Chapter 2", I guess it would simply to give a reader natural stopping points. For example, page 22 would be a nice end of a chapter, as the Princess looks back at her home, with page 23 being a nice new chapter as they are on the road.

I knew I'd make a mistake! This page fits between page 11 and 12 (call it page 11 1/2 for now). I know I detailed it at some point, I just forget where, I'll have to figure it all out later. This is, so far, the only error I found with the progress sheet so far, but I'll fix it next time I update them.

Okay! Going through both threads has allowed me to find the notes that went along with each page from 8-55 in their most current forms. I'm going to try and get the outline updated to go along with it so it's all together. Combined with the progress sheets I think it brings the whole thing into much clearer focus... ignoring the part that most pages don't have planned dialog yet (my bad!). I'll try to nail down a first pass at some of that before I post it. Want me to just post it in a few posts, one long ass one, or upload it as a document when I'm done?

Flowers in Bloom
Script and outline, June 21st, 2011
Stranger59, Anderjak, Eli, countless /co/mrades

Page 8
p1- K: I won't have this picture burned like the one that hung before it. C: Aye, m'lord.
p2- Then it's decided! Your son will guard my dear daughter!
p3- Are you certain?
p4- But of course, old friend! Why, of all our squires, your son is the only one she might not feel uncomfortable around! C: Very well, I'll make arrangements immediatly!

Obviously tweak dialog to fit better with the feel, just keep the basic feel that these guys are total buddies. First chance to really see how lighthearted the king can be, but still bringing in that solemn side from the gravestone.

Page 9
Basic set up shot of the castle, though perhaps a further out one with the Sqire's horse galloping towards it would be much better. Also introduce the other servant ladies, who are a bit gossipy, talking about the Princess getting a protector.

Page 10
Some comment about how handsome the Captain’s son is, and dialog between Princess and her Servant girl.

Page 11
Taadaaa! Squire time!

Page 11 ½ (this reflects the missing page from the 6/20/2011 progress sheet, numbering will be adjusted next outline)
C: …it seems a solid plan, but why do you think the Duke will help us?
K: Well, his father was more than willing to help us in the past.
C: Yes, but that was his father, and even then it was for his own purposes.
K: Well, his is also married to my daughter’s aunt, that has to count for something!
C: And if not, that’s why the Princess herself will be there, yes?
K: Exactly, she knows how to negotiate in ways that don’t involve the point of a sword!
C: Heh. So, do you agree I should take the old hidden path?
K: Yes, we should be the only ones who know of it.

Page 12
C: Just be careful when you follow the next day on the main road, we never know what the bandits might try.
K: I’ll take every precaution, just be sure to get there with all haste.
:Scene sifts to layouts where Squire and Princess are walking together after the Squire’s intro:
first page of talking between the princess and the squire. The second to last panel involves the princess lamenting that she doesn't have a 'handsome boy' as her guardian. The last panel is the squire joking "Ah, but my dear princess, despite being a girl, I AM a handsome boy!" as she takes a fair amount of pride in how good looking a squire she is. It's also my favorite little joke so far, and her face there almost wants a "BWAHAHAHAHA" added to the panel (but that would be a bit much).

Page 13
Ok, here we have the next pages. I decided the princess would make some comment about a boy being able to get her the best apple on the tree. I was thinking a green one surrounded by red ones, or the other way... then I realized I wasn't sure apples trees did that. Eitherway, if someone knows, chime in. So Squire climbs the tree like a monkey, and they talk about other things a bit. I have a love of drawing the squire doing nutty shit or making faces, and I think I got a good bit of that in.

Page 14
It ends with the Captain and King arriving to tell them they thought of a plan (sending her as a messenger to the other kingdom) and the squire hanging from the tree with apple in hand.

Page 15
:Torchlit halls of the castle, King and Princess are walking side by side, expressions somewhat serious:
K: Have you given much thought to the suitors we discussed?
P: Well… I have weighted the advantages of each. The son of the Count would be the best choice, due to the family silver mines and shipping contracts. But…
K: (making an appropriate impression face) …But, he looks like a frog, right?
P: Haha! Well, yes, but that would be a selfish reason to turn him away!
K: Nonsense! I can’t have any frog faced grandchildren! Think of the sudden decline in the family portraits.
:Both laugh:
P: (a panel to ease the shift from laughter to a solemn tone) About the plan…
K: (raised eyebrow) You have concerns?
P: (serious) Many.
K: Have no fear! If you knew half the absurd plans the Captain and I have successfully pulled off in our youth, you’d-

Page 16
P: Probably feel you were both due for a catastrophe.
:reaches the point of the old layout, where the King and Princess exit the castle into the courtyard. Will probably have to be redrawn to account for the new flow of things, I’ll try to take a crack at it later. Obvious change is that it is night, so there are a few torches about:
Knights in the foreground: “Do you think he’ll do it this time?” “Last time he tried the horse walked off midjump!”
King: Hmmm, well, I guess I’ve a fair share of those as well.
:Captain and Squire in foreground, squire prepped for run:
C: Like most things, this is about timing, son, so don’t rush it.
S: I have this, father! Just you watch!
P: Father, if anything should happen-
K: Daughter, look!

Page 17
K: (line continued) Your champion at work!
:Squire sprints, leaping on the back of her horse. Everyone cheers, though the Princess is less impressed:

Page 18
K: Good show! Don’t you agree, daughter?
P: I suppose, though I’m not sure how much such a skill will come in handy.
K: Let me congratulate our young squire.
:Insert "and that's how I lost my hymen" panel here:
:This is another moment off from the old layouts, as the king approaches the triumphant, horse hopping squire:
K: Well played.
S: Your Majesty! I am most honored, M’lord!
K: No need for such formality, I’ve known you since you were but a babe. I would have a moment with you though.
S: Of course, my king.
:King offers his hand and Squire offers hers a bit hesitantly. King grips her hand tight: (a panel of him gripping her hand might be good to add, on the next page though.)

Page 19
K: She is my world… care for her as such.
:A silent panel extends this moment. I’m not that ashamed to admit that I’m probably inspired by the passing on of ‘the package’ scene in Halo Reach:
S: (her grip now matching the kings) I shall protect her as though our lives were one and the same, M’lord.

Page 20
:Final preparations are made, this scene is pretty loose in my head. A panel of the Squire looking at the hand the King held would be nice, a silent testament of her preparing for her responsibility. Apologies in advance if I leave layouts entirely to you on this one, but if I can work on it I will.:
K: Be sure to give my regards to your aunt when you get there.
P: I’ll leave that for you to do when you arrive. I’d rather be your diversion than the other way.
K: But then your servant girl (editnote: handmaid? What’s a good word here?) wouldn’t get the joys of playing princess!
:Servant girl (or whatever) in a somewhat multicolored wig and princess outfit, she has a comedic pose and expression)
Servant Girl: I think we did a great job, right girls?
:Other servant girls, all their hair is trimmed:
Girls: Yeah!
:disguised servant girl dancing goofily in the foreground. In background, Princess looks annoyed, King shrugs it off comically:
Servant Girl: I’m so pretty, I’m so dainty!
Princess: I don’t think that’s the most flattering portrayal.
King: I’d scold her, but she’s a princess now.
(The above is just a cute gag I thought would be fun. It COULD be cut... but I think the little tension relief just before the real emotional impact helps out. Also, it's the kinda goofy stuff I love.)
:King smiles at the Princess, she has a smile, but tears begin pooling in her eyes. Perhaps a flashback to the Queen as the King looks at his daughter (probably no flashback, we can save something like that for the end):

Page 21
:Princess and King embrace, they know they might never see eachother again:
P: I love you, daddy.
K: And I love you, dear. Always.
:She leaves, no waving, only solemn looks. Panels showing Princess and than King’s last looks, other characters are mostly in darkness/muted colors to help focus being only on them:

Page 22
:After marching through the pre-dawn, they reach the peak of a hill and the rays of the sun hit the Princess. She looks back and lowers her hood. The castle is distant in the valley, the sun rising behind it. The reader should feel the pain of leaving home with the Princess

Chapter # - The Hidden Trail

Page 23
No text, just lovely art of the journey.

Page 24
Panel 2 is just a warning to the princess that she probably doesn't want to do that. Panel 3 Squire explains that that flower is poisonous or something, and then she presents her with a better, less itch inducing flower that she cuts down from above. Figured giving her a flower is a nice gesture, and here it's a nonromantic one. Also, the first page established that the princess loves flowers. I know, holy heck, how did I think of such a unique personality trait??? It's a gift, I tells ya! Anyway, it should also add even more to the final gesture in the last page of giving her a flower. Even with the "get me that apple thing" this is important because it is the first unasked for gift, which the ladies will always tell you they appreciate more.

Page 25
Some talk about bandits and messenger birds... I'll think of dialog later.
p3: talk ends with mentioning the princess, and the knight saying to the captain "Sir, speaking of the princess..."
p4: captain "..." maybe some noises from Squire and buddy playing around.
p5: Captain (off panel): Son!

Page 26
p1: (off panel) Ow! (along with appropriate sound effect)
p2: S: Yes, father?
p3: Cap: Where is the princess? Squire: Well, she's right by... over with... Oh, DAMN!
p4: Everyone! Mount up and fan out! Break into teams of two an
Cap: Belay that, at ease. (do knights say "belay that"? Or is that, like, something you only say on a boat?)
p5: Ya know, you're hard to stay mad at when you lose your cool like that. It's the main thing you get from your mother!
Squire: But, father, the princess!
Captain: Walk with me, son.

Page 27
Captain scolds Squire and teaches her that her duty to the princess is the most important thing for her

Page 28
After their talk the Captain lets Squire know that he had knights watching her this whole time, and Squire goes to rejoin the Princess.

Page 29
p1 - S: Were you trying to catch us a dinner, M'lady? P: Oh! No! I mean, that is I didn't think...
p2 - S: I jest, Princess! We've more then enough supplies that any cute animals you find won't need to meet such a fate! P: I'm glad, though a bit embarrassed that I'm so unaccustomed to your jesting.
p3: Oh... yeah, I get a bit carried away sometimes. My deepest apologies for being distracted earlier. P: It is no worry, Squire. I am just extra unaccustomed to rowdy play, I hope I wasn't a bother by wandering off.

Page 30
p1- knight in the distance announces that it's time to head out.
p2 - S: Well, let us be off. P: Alright.
p3 - S: M'lady.
p4 - P: Thank you.
p5 - knight: Your steed, M'lady.
p6 - knight: Apologies, I forgot your step, I'll go fetch it. S: Ah, there is no need for that!

Page 31
p1: S: Allow me to be your step!
p2: P: I-I couldn't possibly do that! S: Nonsense, M'lady! For one who holds chivalry in their hearts, it is both a duty and a honor to serve a lady in such a way. (p3 is silent, or P: ..., which ever you like better)
p4 - A-alright/O-okay (whichever is voted to be cuter). p5 is silent, but needs special mention. I originally drew a smile, since I didn't want her to seem sad by being stepped on, but then it felt like she was too smug, or at the very worst it could be seen as fetishy. I settled on a subtle look of revenance, as Squire is honestly happy to perform this duty, but her earlier scolding keeps her from being too full of herself.
p6 - S: There, that wasn't so bad, now was it? P: I suppose.
p7 - S: Shall we depart? P: Y-yes.

Page 32
p2 - What is that there?
p3 - (maybe make it clearer that it's a tower) That's a fort left over fro, eh? (she notices the bit of rubble falling off the tower)
p4 - S: Father! C: Spread out. (p5 is silent)
p6 - P: What is it? S: One moment, princess!

Page 33
Okay, so here we build more tension, the Captain and Squire know they are surrounded, and got a feeling about the abandoned fort looming above them. I... kinda forget a lot about this, cause I drew this forever ago. So I'll try to give some solid dialog for it later.

Page 34
And here we actually show our bad bandits. I will try to do some sketches someday, but they should all have a pretty good design. They wear masks and a lot of their outfits are visibly stitched and patched together. The dialog will revolve around them realizing the knights are aware of them and they'll have to 'do it' now instead of waiting to catch the last ones. The plan is to shove at the already weakened fort tower and collapse it on the rear guard of the convoy, leaving them no escape for from the ambush ahead. So basically, the plan goes off, but since Captain and Squire are so badass, the Squire and Princess end up behind the main ambush.

Page 35
This one I also did a long while ago, but I edited it a bit to mesh with the stuff I just finished. The big tower collapse fills the area with dust, both from its destruction and from the dirt kicked up. Squire is knocked from her horse.

Page 36
the princess looks on through the dust to see the ambush, as knights and bandits clash in full. It should feel surreal, the word bubbles should all be 'faded', probably a readable gray. All that is, except the LAST word bubble, where one of the bandits noticed the princess and shouts at her.

Page 37
And here we have one of the bandits grab the princess, ready to kill her. BAD END

Page 38
p1:
-squire: HALT!
p2:
-squire: UNHAND THE PRINCESS! (Note at this point it is still 'the' princess, not 'my')
Page should should be OOZING with badassery.

Page 39
well, the only dialog is on the layout. Basically, we remember that Squire is only human, she just had a tower almost fall on her and she got flung from the horse. The bandit goes for the moment to finish the only threat.

Page 40
p1: bandit should look like a wild dog of a man, overjoyed by the moment before the kill.
p2-4: Exhaustion. Fighting through pain. Determination.
p5: The sword uprooted...
p6: ...the spear deflected.
p7: RIGHTEOUS FURY!

Page 41
p2: Squire acknowledges the kill with a look. In my mind, it's her first kill, but I'm not sure we talked about it in length.
p3: No time to waste, the Squire goes to secure the Princess, when an off panel yell calls her attention.
p4: The last two bandits from the collapsed tower have arrived.

Page 42
I figure a fun part here is that you really see she is her father's son. Deflecting a knife might not be as badass as splitting and arrow, but hey, they both could probably fight your average ninja. Big guy attacks, and Squire dodges.

Page 43
An upward swipe takes the big guy in the eye, forcing a bellow of pain and rage from him. A blind, but purposeful punch finds its mark, sending the Squire stumbling. The big guy himself stumbles after his counter attack and knocks his comrade off to the side.

Page 44
Moving forward, these pick up from the end of the fight scene. Squire is reeling a bit from the hit she took, but quickly hops back into action, running on no end of adrenaline at this point. Since it's REALLY unclear, in panel 2 bandit riders are hopping over the tower debris and getting ready to attack.

Page 45
A little payoff to her running horse mounting, and the girls ride off!

Page 46
And here is the start and end of the chase scene, so exciting chase stuff will be between these two pages (sorry, I totally lost my first draft of those pages). At the start we'll establish princess is facing back and holding to squire for dear life, and that 3 badguys follow. panel 2 there is actually 2 panels, one of squire looking forward, and the other of princess looking back over squire's shoulder.

Page 47
Chase!

Page 48
More Chase!

Page 49
Wow, so much chasing!

Page 50
Okay, enough chasing…

Page 51
squire hops a log into a 'clearing' only to find the clear area past the log is a cliff!

Page 52
squire grabs the princess and dives off the horse in midair, into the rushing river below. We're sure ending up with a lot of dead horses, poor things.

Page 53
Squire surfacing and looking for Princess

Page 54
Squire dives and looks for Princess more

Page 55
Squire spots the Princess’ dress and lifts her head above water.


Outline:
From here the girls will hide from bandits that walk past the river. The bandits will assume the Princess and Squire dead, but are still actively looking for survivors from the ambush. Once we have them clear, I was thinking if I could work in a “bath/drying clothes” scene, it could lead to some cuteness. Main idea so far is:
P: Won’t you join me? We are both girls afterall.
S: Well, yes, but, um, I am a girl that is also a boy, I have certain expectations.
P: Such as?
S: Well, I… hmmm
P: ….
S: O-okay… Very well! I shall join you!
P: Wait!
S: eh?
P: Now I feel nervous about it.
S: … I shall keep watch, m’lady.
P: Thank you.
(I don’t know, maybe I just want some quick silliness after all the tension)

Then we have a few things to deal with:
Camping
BEAR CHASE
Idea I’ve been kicking around of Princess having a dream about her mother’s death
Squire teaching Princess basics of sword play

The girls take shelter in an abandoned fort. There they are attacked by a handful of bandits. Only one bandit will live and wound the Squire, the large bandit that she wounded in the first fight. His defeat by the Princess will show the Princess actively tackling events that come her way instead of being passive. Also, having only one (later) sympathetic bandit makes things alot easier. I’m thinking this large bandit will be important later in some way, though I’m not sure how to handle it. After his defeat though, he’ll be put in stockade in the friendly village the girls take refuge in. Once Squire recovers a bit, she and Princess will confront him, part of the exchange planned so far:

Bandit: Glad to see you up and walking, young fella lass
Squire: Are you jesting? I took your eye.
Bandit: Bah, I know what may come from my work, I don’t need two eyes to see this fate was possible. Would you rather I be after your eye?
Princess: What is your name?
Bandit: Oaf.
Squire: How unfortunate for you.
Bandit: It’s my role in things, it suites me.

After a while and some questioning about the bandit “Boss” (the bandit’s leader, would-be assassin), Princess decides to let Oaf out. He will somehow help at the castle, but not sure just how yet. His help will be important, but minimal, perhaps getting Squire out of her cell. From there the planned “Squire Rampage” will take place.

In the end, when the Duke's plan is revealed, I have a few plans on how to make the Princess take center stage. She was already planned to be the one who figured out the peaceful solution, but I also want to highlight how determined she is. Another concept will be their roles as a Princess, a future Queen, and the Squire a future Knight. I'll explain it much more when I get to the layouts (which I might have to start skipping around on a bit, and I'll sort them later in a pdf or something), but there will be tension as they are wanting to escape their lives as such, but also run that along side the fact that, titles or not, they are who they are. The princess will always be 'royal', elegant and refined. The squire will always be a woman of action and duty (though to her personal Queen instead of the kingdom).

Most up in the air aspect of the story is ‘Boss’, and how and when he meets his end. I have actually been trying to figure out basic info about how the Captain and King were able to get control of the kingdom from the King’s brother. And while a very ambitious part of me would say “Let’s totally do a prequel comic after we finish this one!” I think for now I’ll try to lay down simple notes that will allow us to finish this tale. ‘Boss’ will be an ally they had during the fateful, and very short, revolution. Basic ideas so far:

-King’s twin bro totally claimed power after his father’s death and ordered his brother killed
-Captain and Boss were among the loyal that were with King as he was heading home.
-After fighting forces loyal to his brother, King goes to the Duke’s father for help
-There they meet the Queen, who is there with her sister
-The Queen sneaks along with them, tells them all of a secret path, but Boss is skeptical
-During an attack at a fort, the King saves the Queen, but Boss is also injured and believes that King abandoned him. This fort will be destroyed, it will be the fort the girls take refuge in.
-The Princess leads them down the hidden trail, the same trail that the Captain, Squire and Princess start along (Boss knows of the trail from when the Princess told them all).
-After many crazy things, King confronts his brother. He is forced to kill him.

From this it establishes Boss’ motivation, and his knowledge of the hidden trail. He hooked up with bandits who tended his wounds and made good use of his skill with a bow. He climbed the ranks and eventually organized many bandit groups together under his banner. Terrorizing the Duke for sometime, he eventually offered a deal for the possibility of gaining a title. As he wormed his way into the Duke’s confidence, he helped push the Duke into fearing the King, and was overjoyed to have the Duke’s twin sons lead to a chance to get revenge.

There, we are all up to exactly the same point, everything is as organized as I can get it at the moment. Consider this the new starting point, or an actual starting point, since even when I started on scripts I didn't have nearly this clear an idea of how to proceed. I feel pretty damn good! Hope this gives everyone enough to read for a while!

I'll be reading through these over the next couple of days. I'll do my best to suggest edits where I can. Having a floating document on hand would probably be pretty handy, all told; that way we can edit a little bit more easily.

>>39710
>>39711

Its great seeing all this stuff together. It shows that more works been done than it originally appears. My take on a few things:

>>39728

The apple tree. I'm pretty sure you can have red and green on one (I know you can get half and half apples so it must be possible), but I'm sure it'll be no big deal if not, you can always write it off under poetic licence.

As for what colours to have, I think having one red amongst a load of green feels too much like an overt 'LOL VIRGINITY METAPHOR!' though that may be me having read too much Tom Hardy back in my english literature days. Having one green amongst red seems like a more intersting inversion, but I'm getting the feeling you could do something even cleverer, I just can't think of what that would be right now.

>>39731

Also I don't know if its just me again but the idea of bandits per say having the guile to take on the monarchy seems a little unusual. The term bandit seems to bring to mind people that pry on weak and undefended individuals rather than risk going for a high profile target and risking the wrath of the nation come down upon them.

Its more the King recognising them as bandits that bugs me a bit. If they were described as rebels or raiders (in the vain of the relationship with the irish and the scottish in that period, and in particular the vikings during the norman conquests springs to mind) they'd sound more credible a threat. I think its all about the terminology I don't know. Those are just my thoughts.

Everything else is top doller. I particularly like the "I am a girl that is also a boy, I have certain expectations" line.

Okay, so here are the layouts for pages 20 and 20 1/2 (according to the numbering on the progress sheet). Yeah, the comic is just getting longer and longer, isn't it?

p1
King: Thank you, Squire.
p2
King: Now, dear, be sure to give your aunt my congratulations, we received word she gave birth.
p3
Princess: You can tell her yourself when you arrive, father.
King: Of course, I'll be there just two days after you (this is tentative, I'll figure out a good amount of time)
Princess: I’ll leave that for you to do when you arrive. I’d rather be your diversion than the other way.
K: But then your servant girl (editnote: handmaid? What’s a good word here?) wouldn’t get the joys of playing princess!
:Servant girl (or whatever) in a somewhat multicolored wig and princess outfit, she has a comedic pose and expression)
Servant Girl: I think we did a great job, right girls?
:Other servant girls, all their hair is trimmed:
Girls: Yeah!

Page 20 1/2
p1:disguised servant girl dancing goofily in the foreground. In background, Princess looks annoyed, King shrugs it off comically:
Servant Girl: I’m so pretty, I’m so dainty!
Princess: I don’t think that’s the most flattering portrayal.
King: I’d scold her, but she’s a princess now.
p2
Princess having a laugh
p3
Sad face coming on in 3... 2... 1...
p4
Princess embraces her father. Break everyone's heart right here, I know you guys can do it.
p5
Princess (with saddest face ever): I love you, Daddy.
p6
King: And I love you, dear. Always.

Only line on these two pages is "Time to move out." on the first panel.

Page 21, and a redo of Page 22.
Shots of our main cast, and secondary characters are put in muted, grayed colors. A good pic of everyone marching out the castle gate.
After marching through the pre-dawn, they reach the peak of a hill and the rays of the sun hit the Princess. She looks back and lowers her hood. The castle is distant in the valley, the sun rising behind it. The reader should feel the pain of leaving home with the Princess

RESEARCH HELP: Anyone willing to look up a few castles we might use as a base, I think that would be awesome. I'm really unsure what type to look into, or how the area around it should really be set up.

Page 52!

p1
shot past their heads as they plunge toward the water below

Then the rest is them leaping from the horse and splashing into the water.

>>39989

http://www.alnwickcastle.com/

Alnwick castle, I've been there, It's the one they used for series 1 of Blackadder, and it's you're got to place for a classic medieval scenery.

>>40020
Thanks for the suggestion, I'll be sure to check it out!

I'm going to try to focus on getting the rest of the script finished, so I'll be writing and rewriting for a while. Just don't want you guys to think I'm not working, I just won't have anything to show until I have a few drafts pushed out.

>Highness

King = Majesty

Sorry for the long delay, I've been going through stupid personal garbage. I shouldn't let it get in the way of my basic duties. I'll post two layouts for now, and give you an update on my progress.

Here the Princess reveals that she totally isn't dead yet, which pleases Squire!

So here I thought we'd use two thugs to provide some exposition, by hinting at how much they know and what the bandit plans are so far. I will come back to this, because it was much clearer in my mind when I drew this, and my notes need a reorganizing.

I have the first camp scene scripted, no layouts yet. It'll be about 6-8 pages when finished, but it's got some good exposition mixed with a lot of cute moments. I have a bit of the bath scene that proceeds it laid out, but i haven't gotten all of it done yet.

I dropped another long running project because I want to remain focused on this. I have helped out a bit with the /co/ universe project, and even am semi committed to drawing a 14 page story I wrote, when I have the time and resources. But this is still my main focus, sorry for letting idiotic things get in the way of my work. I'll give you both an email sometime later this week.

Nice to see some updates. Huzzah!

I've been following this for a while and I have to say, this is some cool stuff. Great job guys.

>>41936
I don't come to /coc/ often, but when I do, I check to see if this thread's got any updates.

>>42038
same here. keep on keeping on, guys.

spambots all over this place

I kinda love original projects like this.

Listen, I don't want you guys to be disheartened from what I say here, but... is there any life left in this project? Are there any plans to move it forward? Its been about 6 months since an update. If its a case of people dropping out, then let us know, maybe there are new creators willing to get involved. If its a case that everyone involved has lost interest, then confirm it, because the last thing any of us want to see is a project we love dieing a slow death.

And crackers, its been long enough. Do we carry on (which I dearly hope we do)? or do we call it a night?

This was so great to behold!

>>44843
I'm alive and I feel pangs of guilt for my lack of work fairly often. I've had some personal issues that have sidelined my creative out put these last few months, things that began a few days after my last post in October. I do think about it still, and have a few random notes of ideas I'm not totally confident in lying around. This is the first chance I've really had to come and check on things, and I can not express how much the continued interest lifts my spirits. I'll try to get myself further out of this rut, but my new work schedule also has me busy or asleep most days. Once my schedule changes again, I'll have more time for projects.

I have not made an active attempt to contact Anderjak and Eli in some time. I'll try to make a proper go at that as soon as I have time to. I still want to do this project, I still love this project, I've just had to struggle with a lot of stuff sidelining me. I am trying to get back in the game, but I've barely drawn or written anything these past 6 months. This is a priority once I am going again.

>>44963
>>44963
>>44963
>>44963
<3<3<3<3

>>45137

Stranger, I love you in a brotherly way. I want that love to keep this project alive.

Oops that sounds sooper creepy.

>>45364
It's all good. I really want the best from this project, but part of me worries that I'm over thinking it. But then again, I'd rather do too much thought for it than not enough. Still, I'm making some progress.

Two month wake up call. Sorry to be callous but... any progress?

Two month wake up call. Sorry to be callous but... any progress?

Two month wake up call. Sorry to be callous but... any progress?

I'd like to see a story where Princess saves Squire, maybe as a bit of a one-off. I'd be curious to see more fiction where the feminine, long-haired one is the badass, and the short-haired tomboy in pants needs to be rescued.