>>356
looool

>>356
"well that's a fascinating war story, but you have t leave before my aunt get's back", "don't worry camera boy just one final thrust" said Cap throwing his mighty shield as the plunger hit it's target, the blockage could do nothing but yield. captain america never knew much about plumbing but no one could expect what followed.

in another part of town the thing was trying to read the daily bugle on the seat as usual only to be launched high into the air by a volcano of shit erupting from below him " OHHH SHIII... " he appropriately shouted as he flew up.

meanwhile Tony stark was enjoying a rare moment of sobriety and was planning on taking advantage of it and the clear weather to patrol the city, he was just about to lift up when he noticed the missile of rock and things that we're never meant to be seen by man heading right towards him.

now this all happened in the morning. which should give you a rough Idea of Doctor Strange's expression when he discovers the stinking heap of metal, rock and stuff even he has a hard time describing that just crashed into his house while he was still trying to enjoy his daily bowl of lucky charms.

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Atlas Shrugged and Chowder. The story should use alcoholism as a plot device!"

Sure, they’d covered another another quarter-million dollar sports car with bullet holes in the process, but Crockett and Tubbs had finally busted the antiques-smuggling ring wide open. The mansion in which they stood was full of SWAT operatives and suspects being cuffed, not to mention the odd corpse lying on the ground. Rico Tubbs had to step over one to approach the desk.

There were plenty of old and interesting items on it, not the least of which was a briefcase full of large bills. A well-worn cutlass caught his eye, as well as a compass that looked like it must have been recovered from a shipwreck. He reached out and lifted one of the relics – a nondescript book that at least seemed very old. Perhaps there was evidence inside.

“I don’t know that you want to touch that,” Crockett advised, approaching while careful not to get blood on the cuffs of his pinstriped Armani pants. He exchanged nods with an entry man whose gear had been shredded in places by buckshot. “If it’s what I think it is, then the cover’s human skin.”

Tubbs was too cool a customer to overreact, but he did put it down fairly fast. “Well, that’s nothing I’d want to own.”

“Should be. It’s one of the Caribbean’s most valuable treasures. The diary of one of the most famous privateers ever to stalk the shipping lanes.”

“He bound a book in skin? Sounds like a real lunatic.”

“Lunatic yes – but the book was only covered in that stuff after he died. Unless you believe the stories that he faked his own death, which is possible too. It’s his own hide, see.”

“Who’d do that?”

“His enemies. You get a lot of those when you declare yourself a King of Pirates.”

Tubbs scratched his chin. “I’d imagine. So it’s a book wrapped in the skin of a dead King of Pirates. Who was this guy?”

Crockett, apparently unconcerned with the grotesque nature of what he was touching, turned the book over. Though thin and faded, there was a symbol inked into the back cover, barely discernable as a small bird spreading its wings over the sea, a sun setting in the background – or perhaps rising. There was no way to tell. The tattooist had long since died, and couldn’t tell the tale.

“Jack Sparrow.” Crockett smiled to himself. “I mean, *Captain* Jack Sparrow.”

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Family Guy and Chronicles of Narnia. The story should use a journey to outer space as a plot device!


This is worse than that time I met Aslan in space.

>>184

>>184
Also relevant.

>>1004

Chikorita is damned hard to identify without the leaf. If it hadn't been for the numeric progression he was following I don't know if I'd have gotten that one.

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Totally Spies and Sonic the Hedgehog. The story should use Rape as a plot device!

Well this'll be a fairly fun romp. Though I think I'll post it another time...

"Winning the Lottery"

"When you're a jet, you're a jet..."
The Jet's song and dance was suddenly stopped. Into the otherwise empty New York City street a poorly dressed black man with a time piece necklace rushed out-
"YEEEEEEAAAAA BOOOOOY!" He shouted; to whom it wasn't known.
"Hey, are you callin' us boys? We're the Jets!" yelled Riff. A cacophony of cheers and shouts of 'yea, that's right' followed from the others.
"Jets? Dawg, you be BITCHES! YEEEEEEEEAAAAA" Yelled the man as he gyrated both rudely and awkwardly.
The Sharks filed into the street, angry and confused "Hey Jets! When your song was over you were supposed to rumble with us! What's keeping you? Wait, who in the name of Ricky Ricardo is this?'
"FLAAAAVA FLAAAAAAV MOTHA FUCKAS!" Returned the possibly brain damaged individual.
"You're guess is as good as mine, Bernardo." replied Riff.
"He's too dark to be one of ours... he's even too loud." contemplated Bernardo.
"What the hell language is he speaking Bernardo?" Chimed his 'lieutenant' Chino.
"Got me... but I wish he stopped speaking it."
The mysterious black man continued to jabber about who knows what. That is when the shot rang out. The black man's... 'brains' as well as shards of skull flew and landed in front of him, just before he landed on top of the mess. Behind where he stood was Maria, the smoke still wafting from the gun.
"I knew! I knew, once I could hate... I could kill. It is hatred that kills!" She screamed before the crowd.
Elsewhere, in the pharmacy, moments before the shot, Tony talked with Doc "Man, I hope this ticket is lucky. If I win the lotto, I can run away from here with Maria to a place free of racial bigotry. Perhaps somewhere in the south..."
Before Doc could take his money and dispute his uneducated point, they heard a shot ring out. They both ran out and saw the bloody scene.
"What happened here?!" Demanded Doc of the crowd. They all thought the same: Maria was a hero... but how could she get away with it?

"He... uh, was attacking her." Desperately chimed Bernardo, worried his story wouldn't fly. To his shock, Riff supported the claim.
"Yea, we all saw it. Self defense. Right guys?' The Jets all voiced and nodded their agreement.
"We think he may have been trying to rape her" continued Bernardo.
"Yea, or steal money for malt liquer... or chicken' said the large voice of Ice.
Officer Krupke appeared and evaluated the scene.'Wait!' said Riff 'It's... it's not what it looks like!'. Krupke looked over everyone 'I'll say! Strangest suicide I've ever seen,' he took the gun from Maria and placed it in the dead man's hand. He gave a big wink to everyone 'am I right, guys?'. To this everyone nodded. 'Besides- this is the 1950's. Killing a black man isn't a crime!' and everyone there burst into laughter, exchanging hugs, hand shakes and respect knuckles.
"Riff" said Bernardo "this has shown me much. We all make a good team, yeah? Why don't we make one gang!"
"That sounds great! Who knew our hatred of black people could bring us together in such peace." Everyone in the new gang cheered.
"Doc, I don't need that ticket' said Tony, a single tear running down his cheek 'because I can live here. This is better than winning the lottery!' He took Maria in his arms and kissed her.
Little Anybody came out and merrily announced "God Bless Us, every one!'... responded by random gang member "'Cept the blacks!" followed by another jolly laugh for all.

Epilogue: Riff and Bernardo decided that they needed to change the name to something that was both 'Jet' and 'Shark'. They eventually decided on 'Flying Squirrel'.

[Disclaimer: Don't be stupid; I don't necessarily condone anything that was in my story. I mean seriously... dancing in the street? That's dangerous!]
[Caution: I forgot to spell check the first post of the story. If there is something terrible, I'll repost with it fixed.]
[Notice: I know that I mutilated a wonderful play, as well as committed many sins against literature. I hope you enjoyed it.]

Also- someone should do this. I mean... it's like this thing was programed to do this one.

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Matrix and Harvey Birdman. The story should use a secret government plot as a plot device!

This has potential.

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Darkwing Duck and Animal Crossing. The story should use legalizing gay marriage as a plot device!

I'd do it if I had the time.

>>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Magic School Bus and Metal Gear Solid. The story should use sex as a plot device!

The disaster aboard the Discovery had taught Philanthropy a valuable lesson with taking care not to put so much stock into anonymous leads (if it sounded too good to be true, it most likely was), but even Snake had to admit that, for all his caution and care and *worry*, they would never be able to be completely 100% safe in this line of work; hell, they’d be lucky if they even hit 15%. It was impractical to believe otherwise, downright foolish.

They had been getting more tipoffs than ever following the Big Shell incident. Sly, vague little clues that often came in the form of blueprints, no doubt leaked by some disgruntled factory worker or scientist on the development team who didn’t believe he was getting his cut of the pay; a sort of “if I can’t have my share, nobody can” type of thing. Rarely did anyone possess a genuine concern for the atrocities such a new model of Metal Gear had the potential to commit; if they weren’t in it for the money or the “artistic integrity” their benefactors were denying them because *God forbid I’m not able to keep my creative input with MY bipedal nuclear tank*, they were working behind their superiors’ backs in the name of corporate sabotage. Seldom was the perseverance of peace ever an issue.

Or the education of the next generation they were leaving behind, for that matter.

He could not deny that the intentions of their newest faceless contributor were undoubtedly shady and, once Snake had finally got the chance to see the “base” in question with his own eyes, utterly insane. Taking the fortress in mind, cleverly designed to replicate the appearance of a simple elementary school, it had seemed that housing nuclear weapons was not enough for the twisted minds in charge of this operation.

*A training facility for child soldiers?* Seemed about right. It would explain the bizarre--no, outlandish--form this Metal Gear had been modeled after.

At first he had been surprised that they would leave their WMD out in plain sight with no means of security. The possibility of a trap was fresh in his mind, though the thermal goggles displayed no signs of laser traps. No land mines either.

Hell, not even guards or decoys; virtually *nothing* to camouflage it or distinguish it from any other school bus, though he supposed that was the beauty of choosing such a weird front. It blended in perfectly with its simplistic surroundings. No one would suspect a bus.

Snake got to work immediately.

This sort of thing became a set pattern after a while, and it was a good thing this one had been so…small. It required half the C4 the usual Metal Gear needed, so part of him was thankful that it took very little time to rig the necessary wires and set the charges underneath the bus’ undercarriage. Once that was done and the cursory second check was done, he’d detonate it from a safe distance away, then call Otacon at the extraction point. No mess, no fuss.

Or at least it would have been.

“Oh! It seems like our mechanic friend is still here!”

Snake froze, scarcely daring to make a move underneath the bus. Had he tripped some sort of wire? Wandered into sight of a camera?

Or maybe they knew he’d been here all along. Would’ve explained the suspicious lack of security surrounding the bus.

“Does this mean the trip’s canceled?” Came a hopeful, hesitant young voice from somewhere close by. A chorus of young whines followed, preceded by an adult’s boisterous laugh, bright and sunny as the sky they were under. Snake had a good idea that this was the commander.

“We haven’t heard what he’s said yet!” The adult woman chirped. She knocked lightly on the side of the bus. “What’s the diagnosis, doc?”

From here on, it could’ve went two ways: evasion or engaging. Much as it would have been easier to dispatch them all one by one, he would’ve preferred to do it by separating and eliminating them one by one. They had him at a disadvantage here by their number alone, and who knew how capable they were against even an adult with years of experience on them? Frank Jaeger, as he recalled, had been a child soldier too…

*Stick to the cover…*

He crawled out from under the bus, deliberately slow and making it known that he had drawn no weapon. With any luck they hadn’t noticed the explosives lining the bottom of their “bus”, but they would be stupid not to check sooner or later.

“Ah…” He coughed, straightening up.

A group of ten faces--eight children, one adult, one…lizard--stared back at him, innocently questioning.

*Stick to the cover. You had it for a reason.*

“Engine trouble,” The operative finally spat out, rather dumbly. “With the condition it’s in, you’re looking at a pretty hefty replacement charge. I’d say it’ll take…a week, max, to find a replacement.”

A brunette girl in a red dress spoke up timidly, “Um…aren’t most cars fixed in a day with the right tools?”

“It’s a special model.”

The adult, a red haired woman clad a vibrant purple dress splotched with strange white formations, clapped her hands. “And right he is, Phoebe! We know Bus is special and, like us, he deserves a little sick day every now and then!”

“So I guess we don’t have to go,” The nervous boy who’d spoken previous sighed, barely hiding his visible relief. “Oh well, guess there’s always the good ol’ text book--”

He moved to head back in the direction of the building--to Snake, it looked more like *running*--but the hand of the Asian girl next to him clamped down on his shoulder, holding him in his spot.

“Hey, Arnold! Why ya in sucha hurry to run?” The girl grinned. “You know the Friz always has a backup!”

“B-but how are you supposed to teach s--”

Assorted “oh, Arnold!”’s and “the Friz always has a way!” were heard amongst the motley little group who had, by this point, huddled around the woman. “The Friz” only smiled enigmatically, glancing off at the little green iguana perched on her shoulder and giving it a wry blink. She laughed musically.

“Always come prepared, class! As I always say, why settle for a back row seat when you can watch the show up close and personal in a front row seat?” She clapped her hands again. “The lesson goes on today in class! No deviations, no changes! And I’m sure our new friend would *love* to see how a class at Walkerville goes.” The Friz smiled, apparently enjoying the expense of her class as they stared Snake down, wondering how this scruffy, gruff looking stranger could possibly be considered a friend. The soldier glanced back at them blankly.

He pointed to himself with his thumb, frowning.

“Yes, of course!” The woman spoke enthusiastically. “Think of it as a repayment for putting our Bus on the fast track to a speedy recovery, Mister…Pliskin, was it?”

He sincerely doubted that most *legitimate* mechanics would find observing a “class” to be suitable payment, but he kept quiet and only nodded once in response. He could always separate the woman from the pack when they got inside, eliminating her first; it would easily rip the squad apart, making them more vulnerable without their leader to command them.

“Sure.” Flat and tuneless. “Why not.”

“It’s settled!” The Friz cried and slapped her knee. “Let’s get back to class, pronto! Remember, we have a guest today. He expects our best behavior, and like my Aunt Lucy always used to say, ‘if’n you can’t learn from yer mistakes as a kid, yer gunna be nothing but a yeller belly when yer an adult!’”

Snake resisted to question the relevance or even *sense* that had, but was interrupted by a Latino boy from the back of the group.

“Heheh…I bet that haircut’s one mistake Mr. Pliskin wishes he wouldn’t have made as a kid. Get it?”

The retort came from all directions.

“CARLOS!”

It’d become mind numbingly apparent just what sort of class this was from the moment they entered the room. Two anatomy charts respectively displaying the male and female reproductive system were taped to the chalkboard, and various…pictures were stapled to nearby bulletin boards that would have once probably displayed calendars or homework reminders. These pictures were historic in context, perhaps even art if you really wanted to be open minded, but Snake couldn’t help but feel shocked that the “administration” of this “school” would allow a teacher to freely decorate her classroom with Roman and Renaissance erotica as if they were holiday decorations.

He supposed that was one such exercise to induce emotional apathy in these children. What better way to desensitize them than by turning something so sacred as sex into a primal urge defined by science alone?

“Let’s pick up from where we left off yesterday,” Ms. Frizzle began with what he presumed to be usual gusto. “Who can tell me how a woman becomes sexually aroused?”

*Wow,* He thought, blanching with repulsion. She wasn’t even trying to sugarcoat it. If this was a normal school, Frizzle would never get away with this nor would parents ever approve of the response the African American girl in the front row gave all too eagerly after raising her hand.

“Arousal can be physical or mental,” She said. “Both men and women may grow aroused by viewing physical traits that they find appealing or desirable, by looking at pornography, or even by a disorder that’s categorized by heightened stimulation or arousal just by doing day-to-day activities.”

Good answer, regardless. The soldier stood by in the corner of the room, never too far away from the door, folding his arms and leaning against the wall.

“Excellent, Dorothy Ann! Both men and women may grow sexually aroused by…well, just about anything they find attractive, but they have one key difference in how they react to it. Who can tell me what that is?”

Another hand shot up. “The changes the vagina and penis undergo.”

“Very true, Keesha!” Ms. Frizzle, still smiling, promptly crossed the room to where Snake stood. He could feel the eyes of the children boring into him and was just about to react by taking a cautionary step back when the teacher’s hand shot out to grab his crotch, cupping her entire hand over the bulge visible through the tight fabric of his sneaking suit.

“Now watch what happens to Mr. Pliskin’s penis when the appropriate pressure and movement is applied to it.”

To say he had tensed would’ve been the understatement of the century. Snake went about as rigid as a person could get, feeling his muscles seize up as if a bucket of icy water had been poured over his entire body. Almost comically, his eyes began to wander down--slow, slower, very, very slowly--to the red-head’s well manicured hand, cupping his groin tightly.

When she started to squeeze it, he could practically feel his jaw hit the floor.

“The *hell*--”

“He’s blushing!” A male voice yelled out in the front of the room. “His face is getting all red.”

“It’s a perfectly natural reaction,” The teacher replied in a nonchalant but kind tone. “Depending on the person, significant pressure could be pleasurable--” She squeezed down harder. Snake felt his hand curl into a fist. “--Or gentle massaging motions, like so.”

She moved her hand in a circular motion; the other idly went to one of the straps holding the pants of the suit on, making a move to unbuckle it. The soldier could not recall an instance where he had wanted to break a hand so dearly as he wanted to right here, right now.

“Hmmn…it appears that Mr. Pliskin prefers the former,” Ms. Frizzle hummed as the buckles yielded easily in her practiced (of *course* it was practiced, this probably wasn’t the first time she had used such tactics on captives) grasp. The bottom portion of his suit fell to his feet as he could only helpless and incredulously watch; his cock, mildly hard from the woman’s teasing, poked up, threatening to become fully--

When blood begins to rush downwards, a man’s penis begins to harden,” She explained, repositioning her hand over Snake’s dick. Her grip was like iron and constricted just as much; because he “preferred that”, he supposed. Dull, slack shock flooded his senses as Ms. Frizzle began to move her hand up and down, unceasingly firm. “Sensitivity in this area is increased; the veins become more prominent, the testicles swell and ascend, and a clear liquid begins to secrete from the tip of it. When the penis enlarges and becomes firm, this is known as an erection.”

Was it just him or were those kids leering?

*Torture. This is torture.*

Except normal torture--*merciful* torture--would have been straightforward. Obvious once you had the image of a knife in your mind and had the time, a bare, nanosecond of an instant, to prepare yourself for the inevitable. Ocelot had gloated about his prowess before he started administering electric shocks; Ms. Frizzle had simply smiled with as much innocence as any grade school teacher before reaching out to frisk him.

And now it had come to this. All in all, her intentions had been crystal clear, hadn’t they? If this was a lesson to her young charges, it was one in interrogation and how to employ the proper techniques to break a prisoner’s body and mind. Humiliation tactics at their finest.

“…”

He wouldn’t let her make the best of this. Torture was not anything new for him; if he could survive Ocelot’s table, he could survive this. Notions of a higher power were foggy and debatable, but if one existed, he was sure it didn’t intend for him to survive the threat of nuclear warfare thrice only to fall apart at the hands of a sadistic bitch and her class of child killers.

>>3266

>>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Twilight Zone and Michael Moore. The story should use a zombie attack as a plot device!

Michael was busy on the set of his new movie, “Karl Marx and you” when his assistant came up to him.

“Michael!” she gasped, “there are men trying to break into the studio! We’ve got the doors barred, but they mauled two security guards!”

“Goddamn!” Michael Moore bawled out of his fat, greasy mouth. “It must be the Bush administration! Hide the dope! I’m gonna shit out my fat cunt ass all over Uncle Sam’s face!”

“No,” said the woman. “It’s too dangerous! They’re crazy men-horribly disfigured and terrible! Some of the grad students say they were eating Adolf and Joseph!”

“That’s complete bullshit!” said Michael. “These capitalist pigs eat money, not people.”

Michael Moore picked up his AK-47 and his assault rifle and propped them up on his grotesque, pregnant stomach. “Move outa mah way!” he yelled as he waddled down the hall. “I’ve got a meeting with Sammy!”

“No, you can’t!” cried the college students. “They’ll get in-“

“Let them!” Moore yelled. “We’re protected by the First Amendment-“ he pushed through the crowd-“by the constitution-“ he reached the door-“and by the Goddamn free fucking speech! RARGH!” and he flung open the door.

The zombies got in and tore apart the students, ripping off limbs. They tore clothes off along with flesh and ripped still thriving organs from the bones and cartilage.

Michael Moore was brought to the feet of the Zombie King.

“Well I done tell yah,” said the Zombie King, George Bush “I gots me a fine old oil profit company down there in Texas-good old Texas, where everything’s good and bree-ite. And I done tell yeh, you gone and shat all over America when you blewed up my oil franchise down there in Alabama and I’m gonna get all CIA on your commie ass, son.”

“How are you a zombie and still able to talk?” asked Moore. “Is it because you’re too stupid to die?”

“I am not- I am not gonna play that game you done do with your words that come out from that thing in your face like some kinda talking thing,” said George Bush. “You’re gonna take me to your terrorist friends in the Middle East and get me a new oil makin’ money machine.”

“Never!” said Moore.

Bush frowned. “Then I gots to kill you, son.”

“If you kill me, then you kill America!”

“We all know that I’m the real America here,” said George Bush.

Michael Moore screamed and shot Bush with his assault rifle. George’s arm blew off at the shoulder and black blood spattered out. With his other hand, Bush clawed his fingers into Michael Moore’s eyes and they popped like the reputation of the Chinese guy from Jon and Kate when he told all that bullshit to those damn gossip magazines. Suddenly paparazzis came out of everywhere and started taking pictures and they pulled Bush off Moore because they were at the MTV Video Music awards all sprawled out on the carpet.

“You can’t arrest me!” said Bush. “I am America!”

“No!” Moore yelled. “I am!” and he blasted Bush and a whole bunch of paparazzis with his AK-47. Bush was blown apart except for his undead head. Michael Moore collapsed next to the head, which gnawed his skull open and ate his brain until he was dead.

Then Patrick Stewart, Kanye West, and Jesus came up, and more paparazzis taking pictures, and Beyonce stapled George Bush’s head next to the remains of Moore’s and the new Georgael Mush stood up. “The fusion is complete and America is united now! We can all live in peace!” And then America was fabulous.

>>3296
That wasn't like the Twilight Zone at all!

>>3300
I've never seen it. I thought it was supposed to be weird, or something.

>>3306

Moar like Dead Rising meets Michael Moore, amirite?

>>3266
>>817
GENIUS.
>>184
;_;

>Your challenge is to write a crossover fanfiction between G.I. Joe and Captain America. The story should use mystical creatures as a plot device!

HELL YES.
__________________

"Joes, we've got one hell of a hard mission ahead of us," the General said as he paced

before his men. "Cobra stole a very powerful creature from the research lab of Dr. Richards,

from the Fantastic Four, a creature that could be extremely dangerous in the wrong hands. Our

mission is to take it back, and make sure that we do it before they can let it loose." He

stopped pacing, looking gravely at all of them. "We've called in a 'specialist', if you will."

He raised his hand and waved forward an enormous figure that had remained in the

shadows up to that point. His distinctive red, white, and blue scaled armor, and round

vibranium shield shone brightly.

"Boys, I'd like you to meet Captain America himself!" the General proclaimed. "He's

going to be helpin' you get the thing back."

All of the Joes rose and saluted the Captain.

"At ease, Joes," Steve Rogers said in his deep, reverberating voice.

"Sir, if I may ask, what exactly is this 'dangerous creature' that we're supposed to

retrieve?" a young Private asked, as he took his seat.

Steve smiled slightly. "Why, its a dragon, son."

"A dragon?" a Sergeant said disbelievingly. "All due respect, but you can't be

serious, Cap."

"No, I'm afraid I'm deadly serious. Dragons are real, but they reside in a plane

separate from our own, a dimension known as the Negative Zone," Captain America said. "And

they're even more dangerous than they're made out to be in the old legends, they're fast,

powerful, and of course they breathe fire. They've also got several other, less well-defined

abilities that the myths don't mention," the Captain said.

"Whatever you say, Cap. All I know is, we can't let Cobra have it, whatever it is,"

the same Sergeant said. "Everybody with me?" he asked, raising his right hand into the air.

"Go Joe!!" he said loudly.

Everyone, even Captain America, raised their right hands.

"GGOOOOOO JOE!!!!"

>>3504
Now do a crossover of Zemo and Cobra commander shrieking at each other in irritating voices.

>>3505
I'm tempted, believe me, but we'll see. I don't know much about Zemo beyond that he's the leader of the Thunderbolts. (Not much of a Marvel fan.) Then again... I don't need to know much to write a humorous argument, hmm.

>>3506
He's the son of a Nazi Warcriminal who got a bag glued to his head.

And rivalled Cobra Commander's yelling in it's shrillness.

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Frankenstein and the Diary of Anne Frank. The story should use a long lost sibling as a plot device!

How about this for a movie tagline:

The Nazi's weren't the only monsters in WWII

The Diary of Anne Frankenstein

>>3518
I...

...damn, I think I'd watch that.

>>3518

Sounds better than Pride And Prejudice And Zombies.

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Barack Obama and Iron Man. The story should use a long lost sibling as a plot device!

Yes.

>>3537
Too bad it wasn't spiderman.

James Bond was having a bad night. First, the young lady he'd been using his charm on

all evening was stolen away by her husband, then his mission target was stolen by some freak

with three eyes that protruded from his face on short stalks. Not to mention that he was

green. The little piece of machinery that Q steadfastly refused to explain the use of was

still visible, its shiny metal surface reflecting the light of the full moon as the... thing

ran.
"Bloody hell," he gasped as he stumbled and fell. He looked up, fully expecting the

creature to be gone, but instead a strange sight greeted him, and it wasn't the thief's face.

A tall, muscular blond man with a crew cut- and were those sunglasses? At night?- stood before

the creature, holding it at gunpoint. No, "gun" wasn't word enough to describe the man's

weapon. "Hand cannon" would be more appropriate for that ruddy Desert Eagle, Bond thought.

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum," said crew cut. " And I'm all outta gum,"

he finished, as he pulled the trigger of his massive pistol, blowing greenish-black goo out of

the creatures head.

"Bugger," Bond said. "I have a feeling that this night's just beginning."

>>3518
FUND IT

>>3537
Tony: Jarvis, I need you to find me Rhody ASAP.

Jarvis: he's having a dinner at he's brother's.

Tony: just download the address to my memory I'll just go pick him up.

Jarvis: the white house, sir.

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy V and 4chan. The story should use the apocalypse as a plot device!

The threat of the Void was sealed away for all eternity. Exdeath was gone, as nonexistent as his nihilistic dreams. Bartz Klauser roamed the world with Faris, occasionally meeting up with Lenna and Krile. He had been growing very close to the two Tycoon sisters, and his mind was full of doubt over who he should spend the rest of his life with.

One day, Bartz began to fiddle with Mid's tech. Cid and Mid had found a way to use the energy of the dimensional nexus to pick up signals from other worlds. One signal that was especially strong was known as "the internet." Apparently created out of the ether from a series of tubes, the internet contained a wealth of information and "websites." One of these sites had a peculiar name;

4chan.

>>3849
As Bartz browsed the site, he came across a board know as /b/
"/b/? Ha! Must be a sign, B for Bartz!"
The lighthearted hero clicked on the link. He saw so many things. Wonderful things. Awful things. Horrendous things. Bizarre things. After five minutes of vomiting induced by images of a girl's decapitated, eviscerated body being penetrated by tentacles in every hole, Bartz decided he may try his luck at asking which of the Tycoon sisters he should date. He posted a picture of himself with them, and was bombarded with responses, ranging from "You look like a fag" to "tits or gtfo" to the word "DESU" being repeated 50+ times per post.

But then something else was posted. Pictures of young girls, none could have been older than Krile, spammed all over his thread. Each girl was in the nude, often posing in a sexual manner or being molested by an older man. It unnerved Bartz considerably, and he decided to get away from the damned site.

But nothing happened when he clicked the exit button. The red X had failed him. The screen began to glow red. The images on the screen became skeletal and demonic. Horrible winds could be heard outside. As Bartz stepped out, he saw the clouds blacken against a crimson sky. The waters were boiling and the life within them rose to the surface cooked and smelling of sulfur. A horrific creature emerged out of the dead ocean. A large, alabaster feline, fangs as jagged as a brutal cliff, gnashing like a hurricane on the rag. It wore a pale pink shirt, and a single red bow on it's head.

The air trembled with an unearthly voice; "THE POSTING OF CP IN THE UNIVERSE HATH CONDEMNED IT. COUNTLESS EONS I HAVE SOUGHT TO ERADICATE THOSE WHO GAVE UPONETH THE PORNOGRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CHILDREN. YOU HAVE CONDEMNED YOUR WORLD TO A TRUE PERMABAN, AS TO PREVENT IT FROM BEING CORRUPTED, MAKE PEACE WITH WHATEVER FALSE DEITIES YOU WORSHIP, FOR THE END IS NIGH. SO SPEAKETH THE MOOT."
Bartz looked in terror at the hellish being. Just then a bright light tore through the sky. Upon a rainbow bridge, was a large legion of humanoids. Faceless, green-skinned, impeccably dressed, and each sporting a proud, ebony afro. Leading them, was none other than Gilgamesh, a comrade Bartz thought lost in the Rift, who now wielded a plethora of fantastic weapons. He looked at Bartz and smiled. "I promised we'd fight together, didn't I?" The anonymous legion reigned down on the Moot. Bartz looked back at Gilgamesh, and responded with a delighted grin. If this was the end, than he couldn't ask for better company to share it with....

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Slaughterhouse 5 and Kingdom Hearts. The story should use a sex-change operation as a plot device!

....What is this, I don't even....

>I'm to lazy to write any of this, but they're so weird I can't NOT post them;

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Doug and Kingdom Hearts. The story should use an orgy as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Space Ghost and Knight Rider. The story should use starting a band as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Reservoir Dogs and the National Football League. The story should use alternate dimensions as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Magic School Bus and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. The story should use legalizing gay marriage as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Rocko's Modern Life and Psych. The story should use tornadoes as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Fairly Oddparents and Lord of the Rings. The story should use going away to college as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Grease and Scientology. The story should use alternate dimensions as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Harry Potter and 1984. The story should use magic as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Grand Theft Auto and Cats. The story should use losing one's virginity as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Dragonball Z and M*A*S*H. The story should use a journey to outer space as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining America's Funniest Home Videos and Avatar: The Last Airbender. The story should use an overdose as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Odyssey and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The story should use bondage as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Les Miserables and ER. The story should use robbery as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Brady Bunch and Final Fantasy X-2. The story should use hurricanes as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Home Movies and A-Team. The story should use living on a farm as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Ctrl+Alt+Del and Final Fantasy 4. The story should use Columbus Day as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Something Awful and Cardcaptor Sakura. The story should use shopping for a Wii as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Superman and Star Wars. The story should use an ancient prophecy as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Rugrats and The Matrix. The story should use a character dying two days before they were going to retire as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Silent Hill and Space Ghost. The story should use a malevolent artificial intelligence as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Metal Gear Solid and Super Mario Bros.. The story should use Arbor Day as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Incredible Hulk and Scooby Doo. The story should use puberty as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Star Wars and Harvest Moon. The story should use someone opening a gate to Hell as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Harvest Moon and Flapjack. The story should use religion as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Akira and Green Acres. The story should use marriage as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Michael Moore and Space Ghost. The story should use creepy interent fetishes as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Odyssey and Guitar Hero. The story should use the apocalypse as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Ghost Hunters and Cowboy Bebop. The story should use regicide as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining the Legend of Zelda and Tarzan. The story should use a tournament of some sort as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy X-2 and Samurai Jack. The story should use Columbus Day as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy 6 and the National Hockey League. The story should use car accidents as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Malcolm in the Middle and Chobits. The story should use a long lost sibling as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Scrubs and Sesame Street. The story should use a journey to outer space as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining FLCL and Captain Planet. The story should use a haunted house as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Most Extreme Elimination Challenge and Garfield. The story should use terrorism as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining the Lion King and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The story should use hurricanes as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Cardcaptor Sakura and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The story should use car accidents as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Calvin & Hobbes and Mortal Kombat. The story should use tornadoes as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Goof Troop and Star Wars. The story should use a plague as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Monster Garage and Harvey Birdman. The story should use a zombie attack as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Cats and the National Football League. The story should use becoming the President as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining A-Team and Oregon Trail. The story should use car accidents as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Chronicles of Narnia and Star Wars. The story should use furries as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining The Bible and DuckTales. The story should use a parade as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Green Acres and FLCL. The story should use love triangles as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining WALL-E and Sopranos. The story should use mystical creatures as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining 4chan and the Partridge Family. The story should use regicide as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and Bioshock. The story should use moving to a new place as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Teen Titans and Sailor Moon. The story should use floods as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Pokemon and Space Ghost. The story should use evil characters becoming good as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Quantum Leap and Hellsing. The story should use hurricanes as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy 5 and WALL-E. The story should use winning the lottery as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining the Lion King and King of the Hill. The story should use a plane crash as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Slaughterhouse 5 and Donkey Kong. The story should use creepy interent fetishes as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Incredible Hulk and Fight Club. The story should use a haunted house as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Romeo & Juliet and Garfield. The story should use a malevolent artificial intelligence as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Magnum PI and Twilight. The story should use regicide as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy 4 and The Fairly Oddparents. The story should use moving to a new place as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Snoop Dogg and Neon Genesis Evangelion. The story should use someone opening a gate to Hell as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Titanic and Space Ghost. The story should use a character dying two days before they were going to retire as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Chowder and NYPD Blue. The story should use suicide as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining James Bond and Lord of the Rings. The story should use murder as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Kirby and American Idol. The story should use regicide as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Zorro and Ninja Turtles. The story should use shopping for a Wii as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Metalocalypse and Mega Man. The story should use a tournament of some sort as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy 5 and the Diary of Anne Frank. The story should use car accidents as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Phantom of the Opera and Blue's Clues. The story should use legalizing gay marriage as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining the Lion King and Fraiser. The story should use competing in a Rock Band tournament as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Evil Dead and Ninja Turtles. The story should use a zombie attack as a plot device!

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Most Extreme Elimination Challenge and Dungeons & Dragons. The story should use rape as a plot device!

IT WON'T SHOW ME A NEW IDEA.
i'm not fucking doing it.

>>3859
That...that is WONDERFUL.

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Dance Dance Revolution and Neon Genesis Evangelion. The story should use tentacle rape as a plot device! PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Army of Darkness and Doom. The story should use murder as a plot device!

too easy.

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Iron Man and Goof Troop. The story should use unclogging a toilet as a plot device!

Being a superhero is never as fun as they make it to be. Sure, there's the glory, the fame, the chicks who dig superheroes and... oh yeah, and that saving the world stuff too. And who doesn't like punching some aliens or supervillains in the face? All cool, all cool.

But then you have these missions, these.. not so heroic missions where you oughta help poor kittens down trees or lecture kids on their parents behalf -they think kids will pay more attention to you than them- and that's cool too, because good PR is key to a superhero's true professional success unless you want to end up like Spiderman or god help you, The Punisher.

And yet then, there are these other missions, you know? The humiliating ones. The ones you want no living being to know you've been at.

"Oh for the love of..."

"Gawrsh! Mister Man, ya' think it..."

"No, no, it's Okay... it's okay. I can do this. I can do this... oh my god. Just hand me the Plunger. And, it's Iron Man, okay? Call me Iron Man."

"Will do Mister Man, Hu-yuck! I mean, Iron Man."

"That's why you don't go and eat all the burritos Dad. Geez, must you always embarrass me so?"

"Gawrsh! I'm sorry Max."

Sometimes you wonder if the good outweighs the bad in this line of work. Sometimes you wonder if one shouldn't just strangle Reed Richards to death so he doesn't keep on fucking with universes -yes, UNIVERSES- time and time again with that goddamned portal of his and you end up in a weird mock up of Earth where everyone is a dog of some sorts, unclogging a toilet for the sake of both worlds' future.

"So, word says you a CEO of some big company, uh? 'Cause I've got some good ideas that might interest ya' alright."

"Let the superhero do his work Peter, you can talk to him later. Know that you are welcome to dinner, Mister Iron Man."

"Thanks... argh.. Thanks Miss Pete but I--oomph!-- I gotta leave after this. Can't stay.--HMPF!---"

"It's Peg for you, handsome. Shame you can't stay."

Because, you know? you could be doing something else, could be attending today's board meeting -you have yet to decide if that would be slightly better than this mission-, you could be balancing the Avengers budget, could be doing something where you could actually use your real skills or suit to its full potential. But no, here you are, plunger in both hands, pumping for.. god.. no... just don't think about it.

"You know, it's real cool how he keeps the smell inside that force shield or something."

"No kidding PJ! You should've seen him earlier when he shot something from his hands into the toilet and everything went ... well it was cool just until then though."

Thing is, once you tried approaching this the usual way -blasting your repulsors to unclog or just destroy the damn toilet- and find out that what's there is not just the usual -sigh- shit, but Reed's new portal's dimensional binding core which is causing both worlds to collapse, and that damaging it translates into damage to your world, what's left is pretty much to just get your hands dirty extracting it the old way.

"How come you are a robot but not a robot? Why yellow and red? You like Yellow and Red? I like Yellow better than red. Are your clothes yellow and red too? Are your pets robots but not robots too? Are they Yellow and Red? Do you really watch TV in your mind? I wanna watch TV in my mind too! Bet you can build a TV in my mind. Can you? Will you? C'mon Mister Roboman, c'mon say something!"

"Pistol! Leave the man alone!"

"But mom!"

Being a superhero is never as fun as they make it to be.

--END--

First time I've written fanfiction. I hope it wasn't too bad.
Also, I apologize for any mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker.

>>3884
b-beautiful.

A bit stricter, I think you rely on dialogue a bit too much and miss a world of funny prose tricks in doing so, but then again so did Hemmingway and it worked for him.

>>3889
Thanks! :D

>>3852
>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Superman and Star Wars. The story should use an ancient prophecy as a plot device!
Someone needs to write this, ASAP. "Oh, you've got a battle station that can destroy a planet, huh Emperor? Well I'VE got a KRYPTONIAN!"

>Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Naruto and Ninja Turtles. The story should use a haunted house as a plot device!

Splendid, I will start as soon as possible!

"Hey, Nick!" Chirped the suspiciously perky voice of Maya Fey, amateur legal assistant and spirit medium in training. Phoenix scratched his head, wary of the fact that Maya was only this chipper in the morning when she was hiding something, or..., "I found us a GREAT client, Nick! This one even says he'll pay! I checked, like you said!"

Or she's found a client. Suppressing a sigh and a fond smile, Phoenix rushed around looking for something resembling his suit. He couldn't see a client, even one of Maya's charity cases, in his housecoat!

"NICK!" The door shuddered against the not inconsiderable force of Maya Fey's boot as she tried to make herself an entrance, "Oh my God Nick, its COLD out! Screw it, one second sir..."

"No wait!" Phoenix cried out, but was a touch too slow; and once he saw Maya's client, well, proper dress became a secondary concern. Tall, thin, with an angular head, distinctively bushy eyebrows, mustache, and a skull shaped twist tie. "...oh my God, Maya..."

"Isn't he the nicest old man?!" Maya chirped again, just a hint of mania in her demeanor. Phoenix rubbed his eyes, confirmed that, yes, one of the most infamous terrorists in the world was in his living room, and tried to speak.

"Please, Mister Wright..." Doctor Albert W. Wily pleaded, stepping forward with his hands clenched as if praying to some fickle god of justice. "I have nowhere else to turn! I know I am an...ex convict, but I swear, this time, I did not do it! I have no idea who kidnapped Doctor Light!"

This, Phoenix decided, was going to be one of those /long/ cases...

>>4136

I haven't the slightest idea whether this is awesome or if I'm going to need that bag of weed laying around to get this.

>>4137
I'll take that as a compliment!

But, really, I don't think there's much to get. Maya finds weird clients, Phoenix takes them anyway, Dr. Wily gets in trouble with the law a lot.