How old is too old? If I find out you're younger than me then you can sit on it.

With all due respect Mister Koth sir I don't think anyone is too old to use the internet sir!

Until you're too old to see or stuff like that Mister Koth sir!

>>35821 >>35822

Well, lads, as my expert explained it with this handy chart? It's not so much ME as it is the fact that I'm the product of a delusional manchild.

And apparently, when a manchild reaches a critical number of birthdays either twenty-seven or more as mine did quite awhile ago, they should quote "not even be on the internet".

I'm not quite sure what the results are if they are, but I'm guessing its something like "Independence Day" meets "Armaggedon" meets "Say Anything".

>>35823

I'm gonna go ahead and take credit for this quote.

>>35824

You should! You're my prized expert!

AND YET WHERE ARE MY SOLUTIONS?!?

ohgodamigoingtoexplode ;-; my magic eight ball said 'signs point to yes'

Have you thought about... not being a manchild?

Or is this one of those ethnic things that I don't understand?

Clearly the only option is to kill yourself or settle down, for some people it's the same either way!

>>35825

You know what you must do.

I have a plan. A crazy plan.

Stay on the INTERNET
BE A REBEL
PLAY BY YOUR OWN RULES

>>35830
BUT THAT'S CRAZY

Kosh Kosh Kosh.

Kosh.

There are lots of old people on the internet these days. You don't have to leave the internet, you just have to establish a few base camps around the net. You can be old and online.

At your age all you need is a REASON to be on the internet.

Obviously, your career REQUIRES YOU TO BE ONLINE, because you are a TRENDY WRITER or ARTIST with your tentacle firmly on the pulse of the YOUTH TODAY. So you're not laying about in your underwear at all hours of the night watching cute animals on Youtube, you're doing RESEARCH.

>>35833
And then you get the golden crown: PROFESSIONAL MANCHILD.

You feed off the energy of the manchildren around you, amassing a vast Twitter horde to do your digital bidding, gaining possible fame and unlikely fortune! But most of all, IT IS TOTALLY OKAY THAT YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET!

>>35832
>>35833
>>35834

This is a smart man. Listen to this man.

Age ain't nothin' but a number, baby. The real issue would be 'what else besides the internet should I be doing at my age.'The job market is currently ass, so not having one isn't quite the display of Kimmo Almness that it was during the Clinton and Bush era, so just searching for employment is sufficient.

You belong wherever it is you aren't immediately expelled from. Go where you please, and don't make it easy when they tell you to leave.

Find a nice sunny place to live where you can forget about your age.

We can rebuild you, we have the technology.

I think... I think you should settle down and make an honest woman out of the internet, then have lots and lots of Kosh babies

Okay, I think I have an idea.

You see, we get "permission" to use this flower's stalk. If we tap inside it, we'll find these things called "cells." These "cells" are magical, and are able to revert one's age to a number that I can only describe as "less than a jillion."

It's dangerous, uses science, and if we torture the flower for it, controversial! It has to work! IT MEETS ALL THE CRITERIA

Get a new body.

>>35852
Or he could kill you and wear your skin as a suit, thus faking being younger.

I think this requires shenanigans with some kind of age ray.

.........I've got nothin

So the big ones I'm hearing are...suicide, robot upgrade, become Warren Ellis, impregnate hot big-ass bitches, super science, moider, and apathy.

>>35873

Hmmmm.

>>35879

I'VE GOT IT!

'TV Sitcom'.

>>35880

Dateline: Acapulco. A city of industry and beauty, and thus, a city of crime.

Deep within the dark heart of Mexico, two cops and their cybernetic supercar struggle to keep the peace.

>>35881
I think this is a better idea Kosh

>>35881
DUN DUN DUN DA DUNNNNNN DUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN

>>35884

WITH KOSH VON KOSHINGTON AS 'Detective "Hot" Carl Vindez'

BARON VORKED VORKINGSON AS THE VOICE OF 'Supercar'

AND ERIK ESTRADA AS 'Officer Max "The Hornet" ModgonnaB&uerez.'