http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?gzmyzmidkng

I compiled a list of hundreds of recipes from two epic /ck/ threads. Enjoy!

3 1/2 c. Mashed Yams/Sweet Potatoes
1/4 c. Sugar
1/4 tsp. Salt
1/2 c. Butter
3 Eggs Beaten
1 tsp. Vanilla
1/3 c. Milk
1/4 c. Bourbon

Topping:
1/3 c. Melted Butter
1 c. Brown Sugar
1/2 c. Flour
1 1/2 c. Pecans
Mix the Sugar, butter, and eggs into the mashed Sweet Potatoes/Yams.
Place the mixture into a baking dish.
Topping:
Mix the melted butter, brown sugar, and flour.
Sprinkle the mixture on top of the Mashed Sweet Potato/Yam mixture. Top it off with the pecans.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Learn to use a pressure cooker

The meat I cook is so loose you can tease away individual muscle fibers

>>3001

Sounds like you're describing my ex girlfriend.

>>3006
:/

Gross man

>>2788
>>3188

Addendum(or correction or whatever): Reduce oil down to maybe a tablespoon, maybe a little less. Replace the three tablespoons of oil you didn't use with milk/more water/chocolate syrup. Otherwise your brownies are gonna be greasy as fuck and basically be like what would happen if you threw a piece of delicious chocolate cake into a cold deep-fryer. Not good eats.

Our family's navajo recipe for machaca:

Two eggs
1/3 lb. chuck roast (If you are lazy, 2-3 canned roast beef)
1/2 cup of your local salsa

If you want it extra spicy, ensure the salsa's at least medium and add the following: chili powder, cayenne pepper sauce of your choice, jalapenos, and garlic.

Place salsa and beef on a frying pan and shred the beef as it's cooking. Add the eggs and various spices and allow the eggs to cook and the salsa to thicken. Viola, you have semi-traditional machaca. For further authentic taste, allow it to dry some. Wrap it up in a corn tortilla for maximum authenticity.

Comic book chili - I adapted this from that Green Lantern Chili recipe image. Some of the spices that recipe called for are very difficult to find, so I tried to replace them with newer mixtures.

INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 pounds lean sirloin chunks (or any other meat/meat alternative. 1 pound or the volume equivalent to 1 pound of meat works, too)
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 cup minced onion
1/2 cup chopped green pepper (optional)
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoons dried basil, crushed
3 tablespoons chili powder (see below)
1 16-ounce can tomatoes, cut up
2 8-ounce cans tomato sauce
2 16-ounce cans dark red kidney beans, partially drained
1 teaspoon of brown sugar
1/2 cup water

CHILI POWDER
1 part paprika
2 part ground cumin
1 part ground pepper (see below)
1 part oregano
2 part garlic powder or fresh garlic

I like to use three different mixes of powders. You need 3 tablespoons at the end, so I use one tablespoon of store-bought chili powder, 1 tablespoon using the above mix and a spicy pepper that I dried and ground myself, and 1 tablespoon of the same with a milder pepper (cayenne and paprika work well). However, it's completely fine to just use 3 tablespoons of store-bought powder.

GARNISH

grated cheese
oyster crackers or saltines
chopped onions

RECIPE

In a large saucepan, brown ground beef and spices together until flavor blends well. Drain fat. Add onion, green pepper, and garlic and cook until soft. Stir in undrained tomatoes, seasonings, tomato sauce, and water into a large pan.

Let simmer until you're satisfied with the consistency. Occasionally stir. Ten minutes before serving, add brown sugar and beans. Serve with "help yourself" bowls of grated cheese, oyster crackers, and chopped onions.

Note: don't worry if you miss the mark with one of the measurements. This is an easy recipe to fudge a couple things on. Also, I usually add all of the spices and seasonings after I've drained the fat off the meat; it's easier that way.

I've always wanted to try this recipe, but King Arthur only offers their high gluten flours online and I never got around to ordering some.

Bea's Great Grandma's Chocolate Cake aka The Best Goddamn Cake Ever
(fun fact: she made this for school kids back in the 20s in the cafeteria)
Ingredients: 3 cups of sugar
1 1/2 cups of vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups sour milk (add lemon juice to milk)
1 tbs vanilla extract
3 eggs
4 1/2 cups of flour
4 1/2 tsps. baking soda
1 1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa
3 cups boiling water
Combine first five ingredients, then add the rest. Mix the water in last. Pour into cake pans, bake at 350 degrees until the center of the cake is spongy (approx. 45 minutes). This cake is delicious by itself or frosted, with fruit or preserves between layers. It is pretty much amazing.

There's a certain poetry to these recipe pics.

Ingredients:
One cup white sugar
Two cups brown sugar
Two eggs
One cup shortening
Two teaspoons of vanilla
One teaspoon of salt
One and a half teaspoons of baking soda
Two cups of flour
Two cups of chocolate chips

In a mixing bowl, mix the sugars, shortening, eggs, and vanilla until it's a consistent texture. Then add the rest of it, and again, mix until consistent. There, you have your cookie dough.

Now, take globs of it (a really big teaspoon per cookie should be good) and press it onto a clean baking sheet. Bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees, for about twelve minutes. Once they're baked through, take out of the oven. For best results, let them sit on the sheet for a few minutes before moving, and then let cool on a sheet of aluminum foil.

>>3662

Note: I'm at work now and put that in from memory, so it may not be exactly right. I just made them yesterday, so it's pretty fresh in my mind, but. I'll check it once I get home to make sure it's correct.

This is a really simple, utilitarian recipe that's easy to make and good for a quick meal. The amounts I use are for just one person, albeit one person that eats a lot.

You can sub out the shrimp for whatever meat you want, or even leave the meat out altogether if you like.

INGREDIENTS:
Six large shrimp, deshelled but uncooked
About half a bell pepper
About a third of an onion
One to two cloves of garlic
About a teaspoon and a half of oil (I usually use olive oil but whatever, doesn't really matter)

PREPARATION:
Chop the bell peppers and onion into bite-sized pieces. Chop up the garlic, not too small. If it's too small, a later step will be a pain in the ass.

Cut off the tail of the shrimp, and then cut in two lengthwise. Now, look at the inside of the shrimp, and find the black vein that runs through the underside. You shouldn't have any trouble finding it. Pull that thing out and throw away.

COOKING THAT SHIT:
Put the oil in a skillet, and heat at medium. When it's good and hot, toss your garlic in, and let it cook until it's all black and nasty. Then, use a spatula or something to remove your charred garlic, and throw out. Try to keep as much oil in the pan as possible while you do this, but you're going to lose some. You now have a pan full of garlicky oil.

Now, toss your shrimp and veggies into the pan. keep it moving around with a spatula, so it doesn't burn. Once your shrimp are fully cooked, remove it all from heat, and enjoy! Eat it on a bowl of rice or noodles.

If you want to make it with chicken or beef or whatever, you'll need to put the meat into the pan before the veggies, because it takes a lot longer to cook than shrimp does so you'll wind up with burnt veggies otherwise.

>>3662

MINOR CORRECTION TO THIS it's supposed to be one and a half teaspoons of salt and one teaspoon of baking soda, not the other way around.

4 large eggs, preferably room temperature

1 cup of sugar, sifted
1 cup of brown sugar, sifted

8 ounces of melted butter
2 teaspoons of melted butter
2 tablespoons of milk

1 cup of cocoa, sifted
1/2 cup of flour, sifted
1/2 teaspoon of salt (try to sift it, I dare you)

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees fahrenheit.
Prepare an 8 inch square pan, either by carefully buttering and flouring it or laying some parchment paper down in it.

Beat the eggs until fluffy and light yellow. Add the sugars, then liquids, then remaining ingredients. Mix to combine.

If desired, two cups of chips or nuts can be added to the finished batter, before pouring it into the pan. Cook for approximately thirty minutes. Longer if you don't like them gooey as all fuck. No more than forty-five minutes.

Wait for the finished product to cool considerably before dusting with confectioner's/powdered sugar.

>>3672
A cup and two teaspoons of melted butter?
Mother of God.

>>3673
...Fuck. I did that wrong. Lemme try again.

4 tubs of butter, preferably room temperature

1 cup of butter, melted
1 cup of butter, melted

8 ounces of melted butter
2 teaspoons of melted butter
2 tablespoons of...milk

1 cup of butter, melted
1/2 cup of butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon of evaporated milk (try to melt it, I dare you)

Everyone knows pesto is s'posed to be made with a mortar and pestle. But who can be bothered? You can make perfectly good pesto in a food processor if you do it the right way. Here's the right way.

Ingredients
2-4 cloves of garlic*
300g (10.5 ounces) of pine nuts
300g parmigiano reggiano cheese, grated**
2 large bunches of basil***
Lot's of extra virgin olive oil

Preparation
1. Take the leaves off the basil and wash them. Thoroughly dry them (I use a salad spinner and then pat them down with paper towels.)
2. Put the pine nuts and garlic in the food processor. Process on the highest setting until they are a slightly granular paste.
3. With the food processor turned off, add the basil and cheese. Process in short bursts (2-3 seconds) on a low setting at first. Stop often to scrape the mixture back towards the blades of the food processor with a spatula.
4. Once the basil and cheese are somewhat combined with the paste, turn the food processor up to a medium speed and start adding olive oil in a very fine stream. I'm talking a few millimetres thick at most. The goal here is to add the oil slow enough to allow an emulsion to form, but not so slow that you'll over-process the basil and wind up with dark, tasteless pesto. As the emulsion starts to form, the pesto will start to take on a runnier consistency. Be careful here. Stop often and ask yourself if it looks like the picture. If it does, it's time to stop.

If there's any pesto you don't serve immediately, put it in a container, pour a ~1cm deep covering of olive oil on the surface, cover the container, and it'll keep for a few days. Maybe a week if you're lucky.

Notes:
*Please bear in mind this is raw garlic. It won't be cooked and has a much stronger flavor. Pretty much everyone I know will complain if I put more than three cloves of garlic in my pesto, and we're a pretty garlic-loving bunch.
**If you can't get Parmigiano-Reggiano, Grana Padano will do. Pesto is once recipe that probably suffers less for cheese substitution than most.
***Ligurian small leafed basil is what it's supposed to be, but I've only found that once in years of making pesto, and that was in the garden of a person who grows undercultivated varieties of common plants for shits and giggles.