>>75004
Just don't touch our stapler... it's OUR stapler

>>75004
I'm glad we kept you amused. I don't mean to be trying to tell you what to do? I was just making a suggestion. I tend to over think things from time to time. Anyway I can't wait until your next post.

Here's some exposition.

The next day began easily enough. Edd had sent Sarah back home with the knowledge that, so long as she kept their little games a secret, he would continue to play them with her. The last thing he needed was Ed scalping him for what he'd done. Edd went over the last few nights as he tugged on his orange shirt and blue shorts. As he saw the perfectly horizontally aligned tags denoting each day's identical clothing pair, he scoffed. What he had been doing with the girls was as far against protocols, standards, and decency as he could imagine. It was utter madness, as if the pipeline to all sense of reason was shut off by some sickly-humored god. Then, as he corrected his hat on his head, Edd stopped. What part of his life before was considerably sane? He had tags for every single item of his room, even though he could memorize the layout of his room, or most any other for that matter, with near-photographic precision. He stripped a tag 'BED' from the nominal item. His brow furrowed, and he crumpled it in his hand. This wasn't keeping things orderly, it was a crutch. Something to hold on to a vestige of perfection that, as he had been shown throughout the week with overabundant quality, was as nonexistent as it was nonsensical. He looked up at his clothing rack again. A tag for each day of the week when he never changed clothes? He layed his face in his cupped hands as the absurdity of his diligence came over him. As crushing as it may have seemed to be for someone to realize their sense of order that created the backbone of their lives was without logic, Edd simply smirked. Picking up his backpack, he walked to the door, and paused. He dropped his satchel and closed the door behind him. After a few minutes, he reopened the door and exited, a contented smile playing across his face.

The bus was a hive of activity, as per usual. Eddy and Ed asked him what had happened. Apparently the Kankers had tried their romantic tricks on them as well, but forgot about Ed's ability to defy physics when stressed. Him and Eddy were apparently in the same room, which Ed literally picked up with his hands and discused back to the cul-de-sac, tossing the Kankers out like drops of water on a frisbee. Edd simply replied that he had escaped. He didn't go into any detail other than that, but it seemed sufficient to the other Eds. Should he tell them about what happened? They were his greatest friends in the world, but it seemed like what had happened should only be a matter for those involved. As he thought this, he looked over and saw the Kankers. Marie and May were giving him eyes like he'd never seen from them before. Well, he corrected himself, maybe except for once. Lee was the only one of the three facing the right way, although her stance was notably forward, as if she couldn't quite sit correctly. He ignored their glances and continued looking around. Rolf was regaling Sarah, Jimmy, and Johnny over some kind of massive beet that had terrorized his homeland until a winter blizzard. Kevin was yapping about his bike to Nazz who only had a facade of interest. How she put up with him was beyond even Edd.

The bus stopped with a sharp hiss, and the day began. Hours later the bell rang, salvation in aluminum and steel. Walking out to the lockers again, the students began unloading the bulk of their materiel in their lockers.

"Hey Double-D, what's with you?" Eddy asked. "You didn't answer any of the teachers questions. I had to actually answer one of them! ME!" he blurted with emphasis. It was true. Instead of having his hand in the air for the whole of the class period, Edd allowed his classmates to answer questions. What was the point of answering every question? Edd had always wanted to have his peers in school be more intelligent, so why let them simply skirt with having him answer anything? It made so little sense, that Edd was only shocked that he hadn't thought of it sooner.

"You know who wrote Romeo and Juliet now, don't you?" His response was matter-of-fact, without any apology.

"Yeah yeah, Shakestick, whatever..." Edd didn't bother correcting him, as something else had caught his eye. Walking to the front of the school, he noticed Kevin speaking with Nazz. He looked on her with the same eyes the Kankers had been giving him hours earlier. Nazz was always the prettiest girl in the school, as well as having a brain to match. She was talking to Kevin, who was busy polishing his bike, still strapped to the rack. As he turned to undo the chain, Nazz sat on the front bumper. When Kevin turned, she was giving him an enticing glance. His gaze grew hazy and he froze. Suddenly, Kevin grabbed Nazz by the shoulders, and Edd turned away, not wanting to soil his eyes with the sight. Then, he heard a crash and a yelp. Turning, Edd saw that Kevin had tossed Nazz to the floor, making a considerable crater in the process, and was hurriedly polishing the scuffed fender with a rag he procured from his pocket, cooing and placating the bike. As Nazz pulled herself from the wreckage of the ground, Kevin turned on her.

"Hey! That piece was custom fitted for these wheels, and I don't wanna see it gettin' scuffed!" Edd saw the look on Nazz's face, a grim combination of sorrow and acceptance. As she pulled herself up and began walking, head down, to the bike, Edd stopped. His friends continued for a pace or so before noticing he'd stopped.

>>75021

>>75021
Are you down? For some reason I expected... more...

>>75038
I'm sure it'll be over before the night's over with.

>>75039
Quite right. I'm making zero-hour revisions, like the ninny I am.

"So, that's how you treat a lady, is it?" Kevin looked around as if Edd WASN'T the one who had just said it. Edd began walking towards Kevin, although his friends were content to stand back in a mixture of terror and surprise. Kevin cocked an eyebrow.

"You tryin' to say somethin', Double-dipstick?"

"Does that," he replied, waving an arm towards Nazz, "look like any way to treat a respectable woman such as her? Or is the only thing you care about that rust pile you've had since you learned to walk?" Kevin replaced his polishing cloth and approached Edd, pulling back his sleeves.

"Sounds like you just dissed my ride, dweeb. It's poundin' time!" At that moment, Edd froze. Suddenly realizing that perhaps he'd bitten off a tad more than he could chew, he looked as Kevin prepared the backswing to his punch, leaning in with his left foot. Then, an odd thing happened. He began recounting every time he'd beaten him with a mathematical scrutiny he'd never done before. It took milliseconds for Kevin to retract his fist. At that moment, he began to adjust in his mind where Kevin's fist would land on his face. Inching his neck to the right,Edd saw the blow come. In a precise movement, he raised his hand like a blade and, in the precise number of milliseconds he remembered it took for his punches to land,Edd swept the fist away, the knuckles and sinew passing so close by that he could feel the wind chasing after it. But that was all. Time went back to normal at that instant, and he saw himself drowning in a sea of wide, staring eyes. He looked in time to see that Kevin wasn't finished. He pulled back another haymaker. With a fluid economy of movement, Edd ducked his head away before impact, sending another punch to the wind. And another. Then another. Soon, it became as if Kevin were punching at smoke, his ponderous blows being parried or missing entirely. Frustrated, Kevin let out a bestial roar and dove for Edd. Seeing his leg muscles go taut an instant before, Edd anticipated this and jumped back, taking the back of Kevin's head in his hand and used his momentum to slam him face-first into the dirt. Kevin growled into the earth, almost making it tremble. He leaned up, flames erupting from his eyes. If looks could kill, he thought.

Edd had to finish this fight quickly, lest Kevin's berzerker fury make his moves too unpredictable. Edd, at the behest of his parents, read numerous articles on self-defense and, although his knowledge was purely academic, there was nothing in Edd's mind better than field-tests. He was tired of being bullied. It wasn't right that he should have to take abuse from imbeciles like Kevin simply because they flexed their arms instead of their heads. No, Edd thought, that ends now. Kevin swung hard, reaching for another haymaker. Using his forearm, Edd knocked it skyward and punched out towards Kevin's floating rib. Although it was true that Edd wasn't exactly physically intimidating, his blow landed with surgical accuracy. Kevin recoiled, nearly doubling over in pain. But still he kept going. One after another, Kevin's attacks were countered with PAUNCHs or thrusts that either hurt or disoriented him, meticulously mapped nerve bundles being struck with an expert's hand. Kevin was belligerent over it all, his skyrocketing pain increasing his rage. To Edd's dismay, Kevin began hurtling punches at kicks at him, his motions completely at random. He tried to sidestep them as best he could, but eventually...smack! One of Kevin's loosely balled fists struck Edd across the face, sending droplets of his blood out onto the grass. Edd's world slowed to a crawl. As he felt his body spin from the force of the blow, he began calculating his situation. He still could have a solid footing, and while the pain was considerable from his injury, he was sure Kevin was hurting too. He thought about his body angle, the relative speed of his spin, and the trajectory of both his and Kevin's fist. With a punch like that, Kevin would have had to extend greatly, leaving his face... Edd forced his foot down, making solid purchase with the ground. Using the force of the punch, Edd balled his hand into a fist and swung it like the end of a centrifuge. To his immediate relief, it made contact with the soft, giving cartilege of Kevin's chin. He spun like a top and, after a few moments of dizzy stability, Kevin plummeted to earth and fell in the hole made by Nazz, like a man entering his tomb. As the dust settled, the onlookers to the fight stood in dumbfounded amazement. Suddenly a cheer erupted from the crowd, and Edd couldn't help but to blush. People chanted his name as they reentered the bus, and returned to the cul-de-sac.

Okay, this is the last of the exposition. If you're just in it for the T&A, wait for the next post. And you should feel sorry for yourself :D .

When they returned, everyone had added their own imbellishments to the fight they'd all seen not even ten minutes ago. From what Edd now 'knew', he'd apparently sprouted wings, learned the arts of assassins in the Orient, and was capable of putting his fist through solid steel. Through it all, though, Edd heard nothing from Nazz. Though disappointed, he didn't let the matter upset him. Chances were she was going straight back to him. The things he'd do for chivalry... he thought on this as he went back to his house. He didn't look forward to explaining to his parents how their son, THEIR son, could have been involved in a confrontation. Excuses and explanations ran through his head as he opened the door. As soon as he walked in, the door knocked. He wasn't expecting visitors, and the other Ed's were busy with some kind of plot they'd concocted on the trip involving worm-fights. Rather than be part of animal abuse, Edd instead decided to head home. Puzzled as he was, he opened the door. There, standing in dirtied black and white, was Nazz. She was staring at her shoes.

"Nazz," he said without any attempt to hide his surprise. She looked up, her jewel-like sapphire eyes piercing through him.

"Hey, Double-D, I wanted to say thanks for that back there. It was sweet." Edd began to stammer out a response when Nazz reached forward and hugged him. Edd bit his lip in fright, his usual cravenness toward any affection from her getting the best of him. She moved back. "Thanks again. I should be getting back..." her goodbye cut short.

"W...what is it, Nazz?" She was giving him a look like he'd just been shot.

"Oh no, Edd, you're bleeding out again!" He reached up a hand. In his moment of fear, he'd reopened the cut on his lip from the fight. "We gotta get that fixed. Where's your sink?" He wanted to explain away that it was nothing, but she wasn't one to be denied. Leading her up the stairs, Edd took her into his room. She was surprised. Everyone in the cul-de-sac knew what Edd's room looked like. It hadn't changed since the day he moved in, and was in a constant state of preservation. Now however, Nazz saw something new. While still clean and well-kempt, Edd's room was rearranged. Where a dresser once stood, now laid his bed. A mirror had swapped places with a desk, and much more. As strange as that was, it was what wasn't there that surprised Nazz the most. Throughout the whole room, not a single item was tagged with a label. The label gun itself stood on the side of Edd's rearranged desk like a disused relic.

They entered the bathroom, and Edd pulled open the drawer that held the cotton balls. Once more against Edd's insistence, Nazz took up the swabs and began patting them against his blood-tinged lips. Awkward silence gave way to awkward conversation.

"Sorry you had to go through that just for me." He smiled.

"Don't think anything about it, Nazz. It's not in the making of a good man to harm beautiful women like you." Nazz stopped her dabbing.

"You think I'm...beautiful, Edd?" Before he could catch himself, Edd blushed. Nazz smiled back. "Gee, Edd, Kevin never says that about me." It was true, he thought. Nazz was beautiful. He'd seen her at the lake and in cheerleading. The way her perfectly-tanned body moved was enough to send his heart into palpitating. Whenever he'd get near her, Edd couldn't help but stare. It was hard enough for him to maintain his composure with her at such close proximity. He collected himself and tried to continue the conversation.

"Well, you are the prettiest girl in school, in fact a lot of guys are jealous of Kevin. For having such a good-looking, smart, kind, wonderous..." he drifted for a moment, in which he noticed that Nazz's face had grown beet red. He regained his senses and finshed, "...girlfriend!" As Nazz picked up another swab, she put on half a smile.

"He's not really my boyfriend, you know." Edd was highly surprised.

"He's not? But..." he let the sentence hang.

"Kevin's never asked me out on a date, never sent me a corsage, he's only ever..." she bit her own lip.

"The bike." She nodded wordlessly. A tear began to build near her eye. Edd couldn't bare to see a woman cry. He took her by the arms and pulled her head into his shoulders. Nazz didn't resist, she simply let out a few disparate sobs. He felt his shoulder grow moist from the tears, and he stroked her back. She replied by wrapping her arms around his waist and holding tightly. After a few moments, Nazz calmed herself enough to regain her composure. She pulled back, eyes puffy from the tears. Still holding the cotton swab, she smiled waveringly and reached forward. She dabbed his face one last time, but this time reached forward and kissed him. Not on the forehead or the cheeks as she sometimes did, but on the lips. Edd's eyes grew saucer-wide, and his arms raised in reflexive fear. Nazz pulled him in even closer, to bring their faces into better unison. Soon, with her tongue darting in and out of his mouth, lashing against his tongue, Edd succumbed. His rope-tight muscles loosened, and he put his arms around Nazz, pulling her in closer. For a long while, neither of them said anything, perfectly willing to stay as they were. As they remained locked in their embrace, Nazz began pulling Edd into his room. Edd opened an eye and noticed that she was pulling him towards where his bed USED to be. Now there was a chair. Edd grunted a warning, but it was too late. Nazz tripped on the seat of the chair and fell back, yelping into his mouth. The two fell back, Nazz taking Edd with her in her ungainly trip. As the chair collapsed backwards, she grasped on as tightly as she could to him. They fell with a crash. As Edd opened his eyes, he could see that he was now directly on top of Nazz in a rather compromising position. While at first he expected Nazz to toss him off her like a sack of beans, Edd was surprised to hear her laughing. He looked down and saw that Nazz was still looking up at him, her sparkling eyes glowing with a look towards him he'd never seen from her before. But he'd seen it elsewhere.

Edd's face began to crease with an odd smile. Was it possible that Nazz...she kissed him again. Hard. It was a passionate, deliberate kiss this time, not simply the opportunistic tongueplay of before. Edd answered back, satisfied in his suspicions. He moved his own tongue through her mouth, fighting desperately against her own smooth tongue as it explored his own. He yelped himself when he suddenly found Nazz grasping his behind. Edd had yet to understand the fascination girls had with men's posteriors, but let Nazz have her fun. She broke their kiss and gave him a very sensual nod. Without thinking, Edd got up and moved to the door, closing it and locking it with a click. The noise startled Edd, and his thoughts began to race. He placed a hand on the door as they rushed by. What was he doing? Easy enough question to answer. But why? He found that answer not so quickly. It was true that Nazz was a magnificent girl, the best looking by far in school, and that to just have kissed her was an honor worthy of song. And that she would want THAT? It was incomparable. But what was he doing? Wasn't he just replacing one behavior with another that he would endlessly repeat? As good as that sounded, it hounded his thoughts. His thinking was irrevocably changed by the fact that he had so long been stuck in stagnation. As he thought about this, he heard a soft, velvety voice coax from behind him.

"Oh Edd..." he turned. Nazz had crawled into his own bed, her head the only visible thing. For all he knew, she was completely naked. Then it struck him. What he was doing in the past wasn't wrong simply because he was repeating it. It was wrong because it made no sense, and did nothing to benefit him. This, on the other hand, oh that wonderful 'this'. This was the most incredible thing that had happened to him in his life and, as he approached the bed contentedly, he felt no regret.

>>75044
And so the pentalogy closes.

He stood at the edge of the bed, looking down at her. She was giving him the proverbial and now rather literal 'bedroom eyes'. Edd wanted to give those eyes a show. He slowly took off his shirt, and kept it over his eyes. He wanted to be surprised by her reaction. When he finally pulled the shirt away, he saw that Nazz was holding her own black and white shirts out with a stretched hand. In unison, they dropped their matching clothes and laughed softly. He moved forward and let Nazz feel his chest and stomach. Her delicate fingers traced smooth lines across his body and he shivered at her graceful touch. He stood back as her hand approached his waistline and tugged down his pants, exposing his tented underwear. Nazz replied by dropping down her jeans, and bit her lip as she felt him through the underwear. He could see ,for a brief instant, Nazz reaching down near her own place through the sheets. She closed her eyes, stroking him. Edd took her by the hand and as one grabbed the rim of his underwear. She opened her eyes long enough to see the white cotton fall from him, exposing his stiffness completely to her. She took his member in her hand with some trepidation. In her mind, she pictured what it would look like sinking into her body, how it would feel as it touched every part of her. Nazz slid on the bed, and lifted the covers slightly to expose her luscious breasts and curving, glass smooth stomach that ended in promising darkness. As Nazz caressed his fullness, a bead of precum came to the fore. She took it in between her fingers, stranding it and bringing it to her lips. She savored it like a vintage. Edd entered the bed, her hot body instantly pressing against his. They embraced and kissed for many minutes, all the while feeling each other's tender bodies for the first time. Nazz's every muscle tensed at his touch, and he encircled her growing breasts in his hands, making her coo softly as she kissed his neck. Soon their hands began to focus on one spot on their bodies. Edd could feel her slit, it was very warm, and slick to the touch. He probed with a finger, wriggling it about and feeling Nazz shake and quiver with the action. She was busy as well, using both her hands to fondle his erection and balls. Nazz nibbled on Edd's ear and whispered so low she couldn't hear herself say,

"I want you now, Edd." It nearly brought a tear to Edd's own eye. But he had something better planned for her. Edd pulled his head back and, with his free hand, placed a finger on her lips. He smiled and then sank into the deep folds of the sheets, everything but his hand disappearing from sight. Even that shrank away as well, and Nazz focused her mind as she anticipated the penetration. She spread her legs and closed her eyes, but was surprised not to feel Edd's member, but his mouth around her slit. She wanted to protest, but the words died in her throat as his tongue lapped against her aching mound. He moved his tongue faster than her body could process the feeling, and she felt it. The feeling was so shocking at first that she let out a harsh moan and gripped the comforter where she thought Edd might be. That only elicited a moan which reverberated onto her, causing her to feel even more pleasure. She arched her back as Edd used his tongue with such deftness that she had a hard time believing this was his first outing in sex. It didn't matter to her, however, as enraptured as she was by Edd's artisan use of his tongue on her body. Edd found that the taste wasn't bad, or at the very least not as bad as he had thought. It was musky, to be certain, but that gave it a sort of supernatural quality all its own. He took pride in the fact that Nazz was squirming and pushing desperately to get him to stop while keeping her legs as firmly separated as possible. He even found it hard to breath as Nazz grasped the back of his head through the sheets and began forcing his whole face onto her womanhood. He licked and suckled on her clitoris as best as he could, using the technique he had learned on May's breasts to full effect, lashing it between his teeth in a wild move that sent her beyond the stars. He began to notice that Nazz's movements were losing their strength after enough time, although she supplemented this by wrapping her legs around Edd's head and bucked as hard as she could, crashing his face into her petals. Edd slipped his finger in where even his tongue couldn't reach. Nazz was even more slick than before. Had she come yet? There was only one way to be sure. With swift precision, Edd replaced his darting tongue with one of his fingers and, after wiping himself with the underside of the sheets, racked Nazz's legs onto his shoulders and got on his knees. Lifting the sheets like some kind of bed monster, Edd's eyes adjusted to the new light. Nazz was glistening in sweat, her eyes barely open. Her breathing was tense with anticipation. She gripped his wrists with her hands and pulled themselves together for a kiss. Edd noted her flexibility as he kissed her. Her legs were practically behind her head as Edd penetrated her for the first time.

Despite his having tasted her to the point of climax, Nazz was still wonderfully tight. Although it was doubtful, given her athletic nature, that Nazz still had her hymen, Edd wondered if he'd even be able to tell as her womb sucked him in, enrobing every inch of him in slick flesh. He felt himself pulse inside of her, the thrumming of his heart traveling through his member, the blood vessels nearly choked by Nazz's tightness. As he fully brought himself down upon her, he could hear her mumbling something incoherent. He listened closer.

"M...more, Edd. Want it...want again," she apparently had come. It wouldn't be the last time, he promised her silently. He pulled out slowly, causing Nazz to moan in dismay and ecstasy. As his head tipped her puffy mound again, she reached forward with her arms and began to claw into Edd's back, forcing him back down into her. He began thrusting into her slowly, letting her body and his take in every moment of lust. He felt the tiny sting of her fingers as he would pull out, only enhancing the feeling of forcing back into her tight, welcoming womb. All the while, Edd kissed Nazz on the face and neck and even her legs on occasion. He licked up her body, tasting every inch of her nectarous essence. Edd let one of Nazz's legs go so that he could try a new position. Straddling the fallen leg, Edd kept the other one resting on his shoulder. He grasped her thigh with his hands and pushed her onto him, letting them both see their sexes collide and combine. Edd felt the pressure grow within him, but urged it to wait. He was in agony, his member fully erect and pistoning within her, but desperately wanting to fill her. Soon, he got his chance. As the minutes went by, Nazz began to moan again, albeit far lighter this time. It wasn't that she felt any worse for it, but she was so blatantly exhausted in light of her athletic physique. This act was stretching muscles she'd never before used, and they protested with complete exhaustion. As much as they protested, however, they could not resist her primal hunger. As one, they flexed and tensed, putting a resistance against Edd's member that he welcomed dearly. As Nazz emptied her lungs in a sighing scream, Edd pulled himself as far inside of her body as possible and released. The sudden rush of thick, hot fluid coating her body made her eyes light up and she reached down with her own hand, feeling what now lined her womb leak out from their joining. They didn't bother separating. Instead, Edd collapsed on top her, and they kissed again. Nazz moved her head and, before she fell asleep in Edd's arms, said,

"You're a really great friend, Edd," and turned on her side, with Edd still firmly planted within her. He allowed the tear in his eye to fall as he wrapped his arm around Nazz and joined her.

END

>>75049
The ending was great! Just Perfect! Will there be an epilogue of some sort?

>>75049
Awesome. Can't wait to see what else you write.

>>75041>>75044
I personally liked the exposition, If you intent was to make Edd look cool while acting like a gentlemen you succeeded. To me, he came off as sorta Bruce Lee intercepting fist and the old dude from those dos XX commercials

Any case Well done, moving on the more 'adult' part now

>>75086
Damn forgot to add- there seems to be some grammar and spelling errors within this recent writing you have given us. It doesn't worsen your story telling- but it is something. Thank you for spending your time on us.

>>75087
Thanks for the feedback. That story was an abject lesson AGAINST fighting sleep in order to finish stories. For me at least.

I've made my decision for my next saga. Within it I plan to explore the saucier side of Dimmsdale. More details will be forthcoming as my first story in the set.

*crosses heart* I swear to not push my brain into zombification for the sake of finishing stories. You people don't have to post on my stuff, but you do because you like it. And I damned well better keep it that way.

>>75104
Any particular case for doing dimsdale? I look forward to your future work.

Also stay healthy- I don't want you to lose your mind over writing

>>75104
Sounds like you got something special planed. Will we see some tonight? If your tired go ahead and don't worry about it.

When can we expect the first paragraph.

>>75041

Y'know that scene in the first Spider-Man movie, where Peter's spider-senses kicks in and he does that slow-mo dodge around Flash's fist?

That's what this scene reminded me of... epic.

Nice Job. Wish you would have done one last chapter with the Kankers but that's fine. So how is the FOP story coming along.

Status report?

Mr. Kyle. I don't quiet know how you feel about reading other peoples work and i don't mean to offend you, but have you checked out this Vicky/Timmy story?

http://cartoon.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091975

I know you probably already got something planed, but i thought that maybe this might help you out. I also can't wait to see what your doing and see how many girls your using.

I know your probably busy, but do you mind if I ask how things age coming?

3 eyes

>>75352
>are

I don't need to post when i'm sleepy

>>75382
Too true, mate. I'm still here. I was taking a break from just about everything (holiday came up after the boss slipped up) but I'm back. I'm going to post AT LEAST the exposition by tonight. Trust me, although I wasn't writing it, I was ruminating it in my head.

To>>75311

I read it, and although I do like that it's actually well written, and not just your typical 'dick in jane' fapfic, I just can't wrap my skull around Timmy x Vicky. I will say (as a bit of a spoiler) that this implies a massive amount of cognitive dissonance in my first story.

Here's the rundown, for anyone following this still (for which I thank you):

Vicky
Veronica
Trixie
Tootie

The Timmy Tetralogy is on.

>>75399

>I just can't wrap my skull around Timmy x Vicky.

But... but... there's a loophole...

>>73167

>>75399
I can't wait to see what you write, but have you considered doing an orgy chapter to finish hings off. I now everyone keeps harping on about this but I really want to see your take one group stories. If I sound like some sort of demanding prick just let me know and I'll shut up.

Now, if you think this is a lot of exposition for my stories, this is actually par for the openings of my stories. What you guys might not know is that the OP's beginning is actually an abridged version of the original. The original had a full post worth of exposition that brought to light that the cul-de-sac students were taught sex-ed...no pun intended. This is why Edd seemed like he knew what was going on...and so did the others.

And yes, to appease the crowds, I'm raising my thumb to a 'happy ending' with all involved.

"What?!" a shrill voice pierced through the barracks-like office of Jurgen, enforcer of THE RULES. Not cowed by the small fairy's vitriolic fury at his denial, the massively bulked fairy replied with the same casual dismissal.

"Sorry, Cupid, but THE RULES clearly state that office of Fairylord is not open." The pink and red colored fairy bristled. He'd worked centuries to gain the title of Fairylord, plotting and backstabbing as efficiently as the so-called 'Love Machine' could. He began floating back and forth, a sort of mid-air version of pacing.

"Look, Jurgen," he said as politely as his whittling professionalism would allow, "I've made the requests for this position for nearly a thousand years. Surely the paperwork went through around the Dark Ages?" Jurgen remained unexpressive. Taking his own copy of THE RULES out, Jurgen flipped it without moving his gargantuan arms.

"THE RULES state that the office of the Fairylord is only open if a position is available within the fairy workforce. It's not!" With that, he slammed it shut with a thunderclap, sending Cupid flying through his window. Jurgen poofed in front of the tiny fairy still ringing out his ears with his wand. "Look, Cupid, so long as there is a Fairy Godparent for every child who needs one, there will be no Fairylord. Get over it!" Jurgen took his massive wand and, hefting it like a golf club, lined up a shot against the other fairy and belted him back in the general direction of Cupid's palace. "Haha! Fairy in one!" An assisstant approached him, looking up in the air.

"Fine shot, sir. It's time for your morning scrambling of the fairies." Going from unamused to giddy in a nanosecond, Jurgen poofed a button into place and smashed it with his fist, sending klaxons blaring across Fairy World.

Within the palace of Cupid, a ball of flaming light streaked down from the sky and, with a blazing exposion, smashed a number of sundry statues and meticulously hedged gardens into oblivion. A female fairy in a business suit rather unbecoming of a member of Cupid's coiterie picked up the 'meteor' by the hair. The charred fairy spat out a few perfectly-white teeth before staring in the other fairies direction.

"Oh, it's you," she said without a hint of concern, "I figured Jurgen would have offed you by now, sir." Fuming, Cupid poofed back into his perfect visage.

"You'd like that wouldn't you, going from my secretary to having my job?" She didn't answer.

"I take it the Fairylord's still an open position, sir?" He ground his teeth on his wand.

"Unbelievable! Why make a position like that if it can't be filled?! The Fairylord has ultimate power over all fairies, but nobody can claim the spot! I. Want. That. Spot!"

"Not nobody, sir." His eyes blew open. He rushed towards her, taking her up by her suit-collar, so close he could kiss her if he wanted to.

"What do you mean?" She smacked him away with a flick of her wand, bowling him through a statue of Venus. With a twist of her wrist, she opened her own copy of THE RULES.

"While you were out doing drive-by's in Italy during the Renaissance, I looked up the fine print. You CAN get the job, sir. All you have to do is get a kid to 'lose his Fairy Godparents before their time is properly due.'"

"W...why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"You didn't ask, sir." As much as Cupid wanted to murder his secretary in elaborate fashions over this, he still couldn't contain his elation.

"Fine, fine! How do we do that?" She pulled out a large pair of spectacles and peered into the lettering of THE RULES itself, the magical properties of the paper allowing for whole texts to exist in fine print on the letters alone.

"The child in question must be the one most recently granted his Fairy Godparents, and must be made as content with his life as if his conditions had actually changed. This causes a number of placement loopholes that allow for the position to open."

"Ooh, sounds tricky. Show me who it is." She waved her hands and a mirror appeared behind him. He peered into it as the portal began to haze from his own reflection, which he stared at with no small amount of self-satisfaction, to an image of a human home. The view flickered from the living room, up a flight of stairs, to a small boys room. Inside was a small boy playing video games. He had a pink hat, large buck-teeth and...oh no.

"Timmy Turner? He's the one I've got to make lose his Godparents?" He turned blood red and threw his wand through the mirror, shattering the idyllic scene into a thousand shards. One of the shards showed the fishbowl containing Cosmo and Wanda, the Fairy couple who were both his aides and protectors. There was no possible way that they would allow him to...he paused. The small gears that made up the foundation of his mind began to twist and sputter into activity. A serpentine grin creased his Botox-addled face.

"Get me my bow...I've got some target practice coming my way."

Within the Turner home, the only sounds were coming from televisions. Downstairs, Mom and Dad were watching the news with glazed over stare. Above, Timmy was playing Alien Disembowler IV, equally as mind-wiped. Cosmo and Wanda, in their goldfish forms, were floating peacably in the bowl, when suddenly one of Cosmo's scales began to vibrate incessantly.

"Ooh! Scale-call!" With a movement of his flipper, he pulled out the scale and put it to what amounted to his ear.

"Uh huh. Yeah. Sure thing. Right. Love you."

"What was that about?" Wanda asked.

"It's mother!" Wanda bit her lip.

"Uh-oh, is she coming over? What's she trying to break us up with this time?" He gave her his typical, vacant look.

"It's not like that, Wanda! Mother has a date!" She looked at him incredulously.

"A...date?"

"Yep. And she wants us there to meet him. Said something about 'what to really find in a relationship.'" Wanda slitted her eyes, but said nothing.

"What about Timmy?" was her only reply. They both looked at him, completely zombified by the glowing screen and images of impalement and xenocide.

"Right," they replied in unison. And with that, Cosmo pulled out a miniature briefcase, and the two of them poofed out of existence in the room. A few minutes later and the doorbell rang.

"Timmy!" Mom and Dad called. Keeping his eyes fixated on the screen, he began to walk with a somnambulists pace to the door. He opened it still hypnotized by his romp in the digital world. As soon as he saw who stood at the door, he sobered up instantaneosly.

"Evening, twerp!" Vicky. Why was it always Vicky? In the whole of the world, why did his parents always send for Vicky, when surely there were more qualified sitters somewhere on the earth?

>>75435
I don't mind the exposition. It gives us a good backdrop for the story. Also I can tell that this is gonna be an awesome story.

>>75435
Awesome! Will we see more tonight?

>>75435
Please continue.

Looks like he's taking the night off.

Will we get a few paragraphs tonight?

Can't wait to read more.

While we're waiting on the next chapter do you mind telling us about your writing process?

>>75760
Sure. But before I do, I must apologize about the delay on this one. I've been hooked on this MMO called 'IRL'. There's zero lag, and kickass physics, but boy does it ever chew up my writing time.

As to my style. What I do when I'm writing stuff like this (fanfiction, essentially) is I turn off every sensory stimulation in my house, meaning shutting off the computer, the lights, fans, TV's, anything that makes light or sound. I'm able to tune out ambient noise, but if you live in a huge city that might be problematic, but I digress. After that, I either sit down and close my eyes or pace about the house and think about how, within the context of the show, the requested characters would get about to doing what it is they must, invariably, do. This is where being a fan of the show comes into play, because I couldn't begin to guess how characters would get into 'interesting' situations in something like Mass Effect or Adventure Time, simply because I've never watched/played or cared for the material. In any case, after I've thought out about how the characters would get into a situation of our persuasion, it's time to actually put finger to keyboard. When writing, spontaneity is your finest friend. Try to variegate your words without making it sound like you just right-clicked and used the Thesaurus button. This may be difficult for some people as English isn't everyone's language, even on English-language boards. It actually heartens me to see people who don't have English as a mother language try to write using it, because it lets me know people respect its complexity. Again, I digress.

Now, what do I do when I'm actually writing? Well, I kind of renege on my earlier idea of removing all stimulation. I like to put on a pair of good headphones (hoo boy, if I could afford those Bose Noise Canceling behemoths...) and listen to music. Now, I use headphones because it more or less washes out any ambient sound, which is immensely distracting while I'm actually writing. The type of music you choose is important as well, or so I believe. Use light music, with very little variation in its composition, and try not to have anything with spoken lyrics. Hearing words will actually pollute your train of thought as you try to create words in your mind, which often leads to brainlock (or writer's block). In other words, pop in something of a relaxing classical piano piece and try to aim correctly when you're hitting the neighbors yapping rat-dog with tranquilizer darts. Additionally, try to make the song long, more than the usual three or four minutes of most modern music. Most classical pieces stretch to somewhere in the ballpark of eight to twelve, but this is your own choice. Hell, if you can fall asleep easily to Marylin Manson scraping his teeth against a chalkboard, then by all means.

When writing, always jump into the character's heads. Simply acting as a 3rd-person narrator is dulling, and doesn't let the reader think THEY are the ones in the character's head. Remember, we're writing so that readers can fulfill certain...obligations, so remember that it enhances fantasy when they can 'see' through the eyes of those involved. Also, always try to see in the mindset of all the involved characters, situations permitting. You never know what kind of audience will be reading your work. Yes, yes, I understand that this is a 4chan derivative, and we all know the rule about females on such things, but I'm trying to be as serious about this as possible for future writers.

I'm not going to lie to you. If you're a virgin, your work is going to falter. There is no substitute for the real thing, no matter how many reams of other works you have read, no matter how many raunchy movies you've rented or (more likely) seen on the internet, unless you've had it, you don't have it. It's unfortunate, but it's the truth. Frankly, this should be an incentive, if you are one, to go out and attempt to improve your social life so that you CAN know what you're writing about. There is a caveat to this, of course. Barring any lax social laws certain countries have, in most of the rest of them having relations with people of the type written about in stories such as these is vastly illegal, and morally reprehensible. Now, do I feel any cognitive dissonance writing that and writing...the stuff on this entire post? No. Because, despite the UK's rather draconian laws, these characters don't exist. Always bear that in mind. It's entirely one thing to write about drawings of chalk and pencil animated in some sweatshop in Korea/Canada and to actually...well, I don't think I need to elaborate. THIS IS FICTION. DO NOT MAKE IT OTHERWISE.

I hope this helps all of you out. I'll finish with this parting word of advice:

Do What You Want To Do.

If I can pass on no other information, let it be that. Oh, and Darkroom, a word processing application that makes your screen essentially look like the old, black and greened out DOS screens is very helpful on the eyes. Tiny nibs of black on a huge plain of white is very taxing... I've heard that Mac's have a hotkey that inverts the colors on their screens, but I'm a Microslave and always shall be.

Story coming soon, I promise you guys.

>>75820
Wow all of this seems very informative. I'll have to try out a few of these ideas. Thanks again. Can't wait to see what you have planed.

>>75435
"Me and your mom are going out to Charlie Cheese to eat pizza and maybe play a few rounds on the air hockey tables! Have fun!" Timmy implored to them,

"But wouldn't that sound like something fun for ALL of us to do?" They looked at each other for only a moment before laughing and pulling out matching his and hers Whack-a-Seal clubs.

"Have fun, Timmy. We will!" and with that, they skipped to the car, which rocketed away in the direction of some seriously good times. Quite unlike what Timmy was experiencing, he thought. As the door slammed, he looked up at Vicky, staring down from her green tank top. She was cracking her knuckles and grinning fiercely.

"Now it's time for MY fun, twerp! Footstool!" It wasn't an observation, as the Turner household had no footstools. It was a command and, in an instant, Timmy was on all fours as Vicky lept into the couch and began scrolling through the TV. She dug her heels into his spine in a way that couldn't have been coincidental. "Nothing's on. Guess it's time for the Pay-Per-Watch." After numerous rummages through Timmy's parents belongings, Vicky had their credit card numbers by heart. "Let's see," she said as Timmy, facing perpendicular to the screen could only see the faint color of the room turn dark blue as she accessed the menu, "Mindless Slaughter 9? Nah, too sappy." This went on for a few minutes and, as his back began to numb from the abuse Vicky was hauling onto it, Timmy began to zone out. Without Cosmo and Wanda, there wasn't much he could do except to stay crouched and hope she didn't try to use him as an ashtray. Not that she smoked, it was just a hobby of hers to put out matches on him. A moment later, and Timmy could have sworn he heard a fast, sharp sound, like something cutting across a vast swathe of air in and exceptionally quick time. It was followed by a low but unmistakable 'thunk'. As soon as Timmy was prepared to risk Vicky's ire by looking to investigate the sound, the light from the TV changed from blue to a bright white. "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Timmy couldn't see any of it, and Vicky gave no inclination as to what was being shown. He did notice that her heels were carving into him at an odd angle, not one he was used to feeling. Come to think of it, Vicky had grown very quiet. In lieu of her usual heckling, cackling, and requests for popcorn, she was silent, although her breathing was a bit off-tempo. Curiosity overtook Timmy, and he lifted his head up, trying to see what was on the...he blanched.

On the screen were two people, not actors of any kind he had ever seen, doing something to each other naked that his mind couldn't process. It looked like wrestling, with numerous different holds and locks, but there was no referee, no crowd, nothing. He blushed beet red at the sight of people, even pixelated on the television, nude. He wanted to look down but, not unlike a traffic accident, he found he couldn't look away from the strangely interesting scene. Timmy quickly dismissed the notion that the two of them were fighting. No punches were being thrown at all, or kicks. They bit each other from time to time, but it seemed more like nibbling. Also, who fought on a bed? Not only that, but they both seemed to be enjoying themselves, smiling and shouting 'yes' and 'more'. It seemed fairly repetitive to him, as the only part of their bodies that hit were their...well he didn't know what to call them. The girls 'thing' seemed to be gone, replaced by some hole meant for holding the guy, who was fitfully putting his own piece, far bigger than his own, Timmy noted, into said hole. Timmy wasn't bored, the sight too shocking and unconventional for it to every be, but he was noticing the repetition. That was until the man began swearing at an alarming rate and, almost faster than Timmy could process, pulled his thing out, pointed it at the girls face and did something with his part that Timmy had never known was possible. It looked like the usual stuff as it splashed across the girl's face, but it was white and seemed to have a thicker consistency than water. As the two 'actors' went back to the strange bed dance, he began to wonder what Vicky was doing watching people fight naked on the bed. He looked up the other way, and his puzzlement only grew. Vicky had one hand up her shirt, rolling her hands around her chest, and one down her pants, moving rhythmically around the black material. She was making the same sounds as the girl on the television, and was thrusting forward in what looked like an imitation of the 'fighting'. Timmy oftentimes emulated his favorite shows, pointing ray guns made of fingers at invisible invaders from Pluto, but he'd never done anything that involved him reaching there. In another moment of curiosity, Timmy looked and saw the man's piece was fully straight, and he was stroking it like he was polishing a baseball bat. Keeping himself level, Timmy moved his hand seruptitiously down to his own crotch and began squeezing and petting, simulating what the odd movie was showing. He felt odd, which was saying something considering most things he did in the average day. It felt like something was awakening within him. It seemed to grow and swell until...he looked down. Pressing against the cotton of his jeans, his piece had enlarged. It wasn't anywhere near to the massive size of the actor's, but it was the largest he'd ever seen his own stuff get. As he continued to pet and fondle it, he began feeling an unusual, but very enjoyable sensation. He'd never felt anything like it, but he certainly wanted more. Like a sugar fiend who gets a hold on a chocolate bar, Timmy needed more. He began stroking it in rhythm to the actor, the action making a zipping motion as his fingers went against the grain of his pants. Forgetting the consequences for the sake of the feeling, Timmy pressed on, the funny feeling increasing as the seconds crawled by. It wasn't for a few minutes that Timmy realized Vicky had gone silent again. As he looked up with large eyes, he saw Vicky staring down at him once more.

"Like that, huh, twerp?" Timmy didn't respond, although whether it was by fear or embarrassment, he couldn't be sure. She reached down for him. Timmy didn't move, pinned down as he was by her heels. Picking him up by his shirt, she tossed him into the cushion next to hers. She spread her legs and pulled him closer. In his bewilderment, Timmy didn't resist. The things Vicky were doing bordered on 'nice', a setting he felt she just wasn't programmed with at birth. She took his arm and made it so that his hand was at her waistline. She pointed and said, "do that!" Timmy tore his eyes from Vicky and looked at the screen. The guy was rubbing his hand across the girl's hole, back and forth. Not wanting to upset Vicky, he placed his hand on her crotch essentially where the actresses was, and began to move his hand around the black material. "Wrong!" she yelled, and Timmy snapped his hand back as if bitten. She rolled her eyes in disappointment and stood up. There was something in her eyes that Timmy had never seen before. They seemed to sparkle in a way that he'd only ever seen in Tootie's eyes before. Before he could dwell on that any further, Vicky had begun pulling her pants down, taking her underwear with her. Timmy was too astounded to do anything but stare agape at Vicky's half-nude form. As he looked at her nakedness, he couldn't help but feel that same strangely good feeling come over him as before when he was on his knees. He pondered how that could be when he wasn't touching it. Certainly it couldn't have anything to do with Vicky. The movie, perhaps? He wouldn't get an answer directly. Kicking away her pants, Vicky sat back down on the couch. The actors changed positions, the guy laying on his back and the girl on her stomach, her face inches away from his piece. He almost didn't notice the tugging at his jeans. Almost. Timmy looked and saw that Vicky's small fingers were unbuttoning his pants. He reached down, trying to prevent the action, but the growling from Vicky's direction stopped that quickly. Growing even redder with embarrassment, he looked away as he felt the tingle of the zipper go down, strafing against his piece. Moments later, he felt the tug as his pants came down entirely. Vicky oohed at the sight of Timmy's part. He was surprised by this, as anything he did that genuinely interested her was rarer than jewels. He stifled a yelp as he felt her hands rub across him, stimulating him even further. He began to feel slightly out of breath.

>>75962
Keep going.

MORE!!!!

Nice. Can't wait to read the rest.

Don't leave me hanging.

Bump

>>75962
"Vicky?" Timmy asked. "What are you doing?" She gave him an impish smile as she leaned her head over and began pulling down his underwear. Vicky had bathed Timmy in the long past, but she usually treated that endeavor with the same care as someone removing toxic waste. He remembered her lording over him, tongs in hand as he nervously stripped, like a laboratory experiment. That was the Vicky he knew, but it was not the Vicky breathing heavily over him. Her hands flickered against his part as she stripped him. As he looked down, he came to a sudden realization as to what it was he was feeling now towards her. It was so simple, he was actually amazed he didn't realize it before.

Fear.

Unequivocal fear. That was the answer to why his lower extremity had decided to stiffen and harden. It was petrified of Vicky's ministrations. He had gone bolt-straight like that many times, and now that she was targeting a specific part of him, it only made sense that it would freeze as well. Timmy began weighing his options. It was clear to him that Vicky was aping the actions of the television, so perhaps if he played along he'd be safe. He prayed silently that the movie didn't turn out in the end to be a horror show. He looked at the screen and, true to form, Vicky was on her bare knees, just as the actress was. He braced himself as he saw the naked woman grasp the man's part. Like clockwork, he felt the sensation of Vicky taking hold of him. Something was amiss, however. Unlike usual, her grip wasn't a vice-like stranglehold. Quite the opposite, he noted with no small hint of relief, she was cradling his piece and the two balls below, rubbing and fondling them softly. It felt strange, but somehow enjoyable. As she began stroking him smoothly, he found it had become very, very enjoyable. In fact, it was only by a whim did he notice the next scene in the film, and it was a cruel one to be sure. In the fuzzy glow of the TV, he watched with terror as the actress leaned down and actually took the man's rod in her mouth. Perhaps this was a horror, some cannibal ritual that involved lulling the victim into some false sense of security. His mind raced, but his body wouldn't react, the conflicting signals colliding and jumbling in his mind. Before he had a chance to sort his menagerie of thoughts, he saw Vicky's ponytail sway to the side as her head bobbed down, down onto his fear-laden shaft. Then, a most surprising thing happened. First, he didn't scream. Second, his eyes turned wide and glassy as his lower body was washed in unbelievably pleasurable sensation. Where he had expected the gnashing of teeth, he found the lolling of a tongue, and the wet suction of lips. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Timmy couldn't even think. All he could do for many moments was simply sit there and begin the arduous task of processing what had just happened in the last ten minutes.

His mind surged as Vicky began tingling his sac with her fingernails. As warm and soothing as her mouth was, his stiffness didn't dissipate. In fact, it grew harder and perhaps a bit longer. It felt incredible, better than any wish he'd ever asked for. The dissonance of the fact that this was coming from Vicky didn't enter into it. All reason in this instant made room for sheer ecstacy. He wanted to feel this way forever, and it seemed to be that way as the minutes crawled lovingly away. Just as he was going to enter a stupor, he found Vicky's rhythm was growing faster. It felt good, but something wondered why she was opening her pace. She was moaning breathily onto him, and the vibrations were tantalizing on his shaft as her tongue mercilessly lashed its underside. He looked and saw that Vicky had a hand in her own place. She was rubbing her fingers over the hole she had at a furious pace, far faster than the gentle stroking she was giving him. Just as before, the screen was imitating life. He watched with a hazy interest as the lady stopped her mouthwork and got on her knees in the other direction, facing her rear to the actor. He kneeled in behind her as the camera zoomed in to show that she had two holes. The actor grabbed himself and, to Timmy's amazement, stuck it into the lower hole. In his bewilderment, Timmy didn't notice that Vicky had not only stopped licking him, but she'd also somehow gotten on her stomach, legs spread, her eyes imploring him to approach. He did willingly. If this felt at all as good as before, he was more than happy to try. He kneed her legs even wider to give him easier access. Timmy looked and saw that it wasn't a hole, per se. He could see slick flesh glistening at him as Vicky stroked a finger at the top of it all. Curiosity got the better of him, and he reached down himself, using his own fingers to spread apart her rosen lips. It felt warm, very warm. It was wet, as well, as he slipped a finger in to feel the texture of Vicky's inside. She tensed and drew in a sharp breath as he did so. Timmy was breathing differently as well, quick and deliberate. Taking his shaft in hand as he had seen,he moved forward, and pressed the tip of his rod against the slick lips. Timmy looked over and saw the man thrusting with gusto into the woman, both of them swearing and moaning at each other. He had to feel that. As he pushed his hips down onto Vicky's, that's exactly what he did.

>>76341
Nice. Keep going please.

I can't wait for the rest?

>I'm raising my thumb to a 'happy ending' with all involved.

Wait. . .does that mean you're going to make an ending for the Edd story?

>>76503
I think he means the fairly oddparent story he's working on now.

>>76507
Hi all. I'm not dead, and I've not forgotten about this. I've just got a boatload on my plate for the next few days, and sadly the 9-5 comes first...gotta keep the electricity bill paid somehow, right?

As for what I said. When I wrote it, yes, I did mean for the Timmy series alone. But, I think what I will do, before I move on to whatever the NEXT series is, is write a beau-coupe finale for the Edd saga.

Good enough answer?

>>76551
Sounds good to me!