>Have no idea where anything is.>Walking around after curfew>Nice cop gives me a ride to the another town>Mom yells at me about coming back from my boyfriend's so late>Cop immediately stops all questions and heads back to his area.
cool story bro
>>275185Then give me something interesting.
>>275186It's easier to sit on a high horse and act superior than contribute value.
I remember when I moved to the US. I was riding my bike to work regularly all autumn. I actually borrowed the bike and I never put lights or anything on it since the streets were so well lit, I didn't need them. Then came winter, so I started to wear my kiffiyeh. And within that 1st week, I still had no light and got stopped 3 times by the police. They all said it was because of the light, but they never stopped me before I had my kiffiyeh on...That was my first contact with US Police. The 1st time, I had no light at all. The second, I got called in to work before I had time to buy the light. The third time, I had the light, but I put it in my bag when I locked the bike up and forgot to pull it out when I left. I went to reach inside my bag to show the cop and he put his hand on his pistol and yelled at me. I don't remember how the conversation went, but I remember him pretty much threatening me. And that was my introduction to US police.
Was a slick sleeve stationed in Pensacola. Out on the town, the boardwalk with buddies having a good time. No alcohol, just a bunch of newbie Marines looking around. Well, so I'm sitting on the sea wall, chatting with a pretty girl when two beach cops (in their mightly impressive beach shorts) roll up and just grab me and another guy. That's it. Just like that. Just grab me. WAT. I do nothing special as the escort me to a police cruiser, and then to the station. They put me in the holding tank. Eventually process me (paperwork, photos) then put me in the drunk tank, which was absolutely stuffed to capacity with people. I wait in there for a few hours. I'm then led out to a small room and told to strip. I do, some poor cop (I assume he's the newbie) hits me with de-lousing spray and gives me a too-small jumpsuit. I'm then escorted to a large room full of bunk beds, board games, and televisions permanently set to TNT.(continued)
>>275200This was a Friday night, by the way. Well I languished in that ridiculously boring and non-threatening place until Sunday afternoon when myself and some others had a light chain affixed to our ankles, and led to a courtroom. The judge reviewed our cases in turn and decided what to do with each of us. He told me I would be taken back to base on Monday by the M.P.s. And so on Monday I was cuffed and put in the back of a van by some M.P.s, taken to my barracks, and told to report to the squadron Master Gunnery Sergeant. Well, I put on my Alpha uniform and report to him, sweating bullets. He asks me what happened. I told him. He said "That's what I thought. Here Private, read about what you did.". He slid me the police report. In it (and I may later dig it out and type it up for you) was described a godamn fuckin' epic brawl between me and these two police officers. Apparantly I pushed one down, was batonned to the head, cuffed, knocked a cop down again and made a break for it, batonned again and stuffed into the cruiser. The charges were Resisting arrest with violence (felony) and Resisting arrest without violence. That's it.Master Guns told me that the military wouldn't be charging me with a thing, due to how ridiculous it all was. That and he knows how the local law enforcement abuses his newbies. Unfortunately I was going to have to deal with the Civilian courts on my own. I pled no contest and got pre trial intervention which meant a bunch of fines and a ruling of Null Prosque.
>>275200>>275202wow. Sounds like somebody got beaten with socks full of soap before joining the police force.
>thirteen-year old comrade: budding gearhead, blossoming shithead>that's all there really is to say on the matterBasically I was going way too fast in a car that wasn't mine, when a cop starts signaling me over. Car chase ensued. I only managed to lose him for a second, but that was all I needed to hop out and hit the ground running. It's a miracle I never hurt anyone or anything in my joyriding days, and that was the closest encounter with the law I've ever had. I've since developed some sensible ethics and common sense, and I really do regret my actions, but I was one lucky bastard.
My brother is a cop. Comes home with all kinds of stories.He once made a guy shit himself. He and his partner saw a guy riding a dirtbike along railroad tracks, and turned on the lights. The guy takes off. The move up to the next train crossing up the line to head him off. When he sees them he turns around and goes back the way he came. So do they. After doing this a few times, my brother gets sick of it and gets out at the crossing, while his partner heads back. Sure enough the guy comes up the track again, and my brother steps out of the bushes. Guy panics and falls off his bike while trying to turn. My brother runs up and tackles him to the ground before he can pick up up and start it again. While they're taking back to the car they could smell shit. When they asked where it was coming from, the guy admitted he shat himself when he was tackled.
>>275216Okay, the guy was stupid to flee, but pulling over a guy just for riding along the tracks seems kinda pointless.
My school has its own allocated police officer. We know each other fairly well, he raided a few of my parties before he started working on campus. He's a pretty cool guy. As the chairman for the ~charity commitee~ I managed to talk him into getting a full-body wax to raise money for Breast Cancer. He seemed a little too eager.
>cop storiesuh.......one time I saw a cop....the end.
Dated one once. Dude owned: Nerdy but still masculine, really sweet, let me touch his gun.Perfect husbando material but I was a dipshit not ready for a relationship. :V(That's my cop story.)
>>275232>let me touch his gun.Oho~
>>275217probably something to do with the fact that being on trian tracks in the first place is dangerous/illegal/both
>>275232>let me touch his gun. Oh my
>>275232http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT3_UCm1A5I
>On way to job interview>Get a little lost>Ask a policeman for directions>He gives the most easily understandable directions in human history>Arrive at destination
Also:>GKE being a shit
>Chilling out with friends after working on a project on a Friday night>"let's go to Applebees for food, half-price appetizers">take 2 cars there>realize that night was the first night of high school football season>Applebees is packed.>both cars park in back of restaurant and decide on going to a small bar instead>we exit the parking lot>cop pull my friends car and the car I was riding in over.>my friend puts on his cool face>Cop asks "Do you have any weapons or drugs in your car?">Friend (whose driving) responds with laughter while I facepalm.>cops raids my friend's car, cops pat me down>realize I have a small plastic bag of ibuprofen in my cargo pocket.>freak out the cops might think I'm a drug dealer>2 hours later, I'm finally let go and hungry as fuck.>apparently cops thought both cars were drug dealers since we both pulled into a parking lot and left.
My friend's dad is an ex-cop, he broke a guy's eye socket once and doesn't afraid of anything
I was at work grabbing mail from our mail box thingy when a cop pulled up to me and started asking me questions because I was dressed like some other guy he was looking for. Wasn't too freaky except I had my hands in my pockets (insecuuuuurrrre) and he demanded I get my hands out of my pockets. I freaked and raised them over my head for the entirety of the conversation.
My grandfather, before retiring, was Chief in San Diego county. One of his cases even managed to make it into a book.Only other cop story I have is brofisting with one right before some dude was driving 55 right next to the school down the street, and he told me to stay "Ice cool."
I was walking home from a late shift at McDonalds a couple years ago, with my coworker who lived nearby. My coworker was a funny old black dude, and since we were both wearing jackets, you couldn't see our uniforms, but were just walking up a hill and making jokes and such. A cop flashes his lights, pulls up next to us and asks us if there's a problem. Before I can say anything, coworker smiles, and says "No problem here officer! Well, see you later!" and he went farther up the hill where he lives, and I just go down the street where I was staying with my friend.
My house got raided when I was.. .15 I think? I was going to bed because I had school in the morning and I was almost asleep when I heard someone yelling. I thought it was my mom and her friends joking around. Nope. I had a cop slam my door open and yelling. I jumped out of bed and he said get dressed. I told him I was and he led me out of my room. I asked what was going on and no one answered. I saw my dad (Who is the nicest person EVER) in handcuffs and started bawling like a bitch. They didn't cuff me. I just sat next to my mom's legs on the floor while they went through everything in the house including my backpack. Which was funny for me because I was a SLOB and the poor cop was getting grossed out.
>>275337Why'd they do it?
>>275341His dad is the nicest person ever. Obviously, it's a front for something.
>>275237I guess it just seems stupid to me since I spent a chunk of my youth hanging out next to railroad tracks and never thought anything of it. I mean, if the guy was on the tracks, I could understand it, but if he was just riding on the dirt path that's usually next to the tracks, I don't see the harm.
>>275370I used to walk to my local comic book shop that way when I still lived in Ohio.Granted, sometimes I'd be walking alongside the fucking TRAIN as it was barreling through and in hindsight that probably isn't the smartest thing to do but never seemed like that big a deal when I was a kid.
>>275375Nothing really that dangerous about walk next to a train. They don't exceed a certain size so they can all fit in the same tunnels and stuff. So unless someone is sticking something out the window a few feet is as safer than walking on a sidewalk.
>>275346 HER ACTUALLY. I feel bad when people think I'm a guy when I'm really a whiny little bitch. If I was a guy I'd be a pussy. As a girl it's acceptable. Since I have one>>275341One of the people my mom hung out with was a drug dealer who's dad was an asshole. He called in a 'tip' that people were selling drugs in our house which... No one was.
>Shave shitty half-blooded latino facial hair>Get stopped by cops for thinking I'm teen skipping school>Regrow shitty half-blooded latino facial hair>Get stopped by cops for looking like suspect/suspicious THREE MONTHS IN A ROW>fml, imma stay inside
Keep your facial hair, Kosh.>Get off train, already late for an appointment>Couple of cops stop me coz 'crossing the street with earphones on' wut>cops notice my large bag and are all "this bag looks like it has a bomb in it" (what), they find my dslr and gear in it>ask if I work for a tabloid and demanded for a media pass>asked me to go with them for 'further questioning'>two cabs run into each other across the street>RUN FOREST, RUN
>Waiting for the bus>Cop comes along>Starts asking questions about me>Worry that I'm under suspicion for something>Why does he keep asking questions>What do these questions even have to do with anything what is this>I'm freaking out man>Turns out he was just hitting on me>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
Finally I have a reason to tell this story.One time I was high as fuck from weed and driving back home from a friend's house, I don't remember if I also drank, I might have had a beer or two (which is very rare and in retrospect I am ashamed for driving possibly intoxicated and do NOT have a habit of doing so), and I was going down a 4 lane road, and decided to drive to a suburban stretch to avoid traffic, this was around night time.So I get to an exit and I need to basically get back on the main road and make a u-turn to keep heading home, and there is a line of cars behind me and no stoplight near, so I make a turn right in the middle of the road but my car is long so I end up being stuck on the side, blocking both lanes, but there's no cars on my side yet. So I start to back up slow, and suddenly big headlights are going through my windows and a cop car is next to me. I keep backing up, going forward, backing up, forward, till I am finally straight and facing the right way..and then I wait for the cop to come to my window.He arrives and before he says anything, I go, "Excuse me, officer, can I just explain what happened first.."And he goes, "Ok go ahead..".I go, "I was driving along and I had forgotten that I sat on my cellphone on the seat, and as I was driving somebody suddenly called me and I had it on vibrator, and the sudden vibration scared me and threw me off, and I spasmed off road, which is why I ended up having to make this U-Turn.."And then he asked me for ID and my eyes were bloodshot, and I don't remember the rest but basically after he checked out my license was in order he just let me go lol.
>>275597 ...I'd laugh if that kind of stuff didn't actually result in killing people.
>>275598The actual U-turn was when there were no cars on the lanes I wanted to go on, as far as the eyes could see, the only reason a cop car came was because it also made a U-Turn I guess when it saw me from a rearview mirror on the other side.
>Thread about cop stories.>About half involve cops hassling innocent people, typically for no good reason.I am unsurprised.
>>275602 To be fair, its one of the more "remembering the hits more than the misses" things. Cops doing their job = Not as memorable. Cops being douchebags = Memorable.
>>275618It's actually the other way around for me, and shit, for most people I know. Cops being decent is a surprising and notable occurrence. Maybe not so much for middleclass heteronormative looking white people, I guess?
>>275622 I wouldn't know.Though it could just be that people with an overexposure to police presence results in "cops being decent is a surprising and notable occurrence", and people with an underexposure to police presence results in "cops being douchebags is a surprising and notable occurrence".Outside of protests, accident scenes, and me looking creepy/underage, I haven't had that much exposure to the police.
>>275370next to? it read to me like he was riding it down the tracks.also heres my cop story>get beaten up at a friends party by said friends fuckwit lowlife brother>report t it to the police, want to press charges>they take a statement and tell me they're going to get some whitness statements>update me every 4 or so months, checking if i still want to go ahead>a year later they tell me they're almost done and if i still want to go ahead>give me the option of just giving this dickhead an official warning.>they've stalled for so long i just DGAF anymore
>>275602What Kosh said. Being raided is something that sticks. I have a great respect for anyone in the police force. AND I do have a good story. >> In middle school we had a cop in the school.>> One day in gym two dicks wouldn't stop messing with me>> Eventually get sent out because I was trying to kick their asses >> The cop sees me, and since I was almost crying, comes to ask what's up>> I tell him and show him the motions the kids were making (I'm overweight and they were making exaggerated motions at their stomachs) >> Because I'm so upset and apparently made the motions too high he thought they were talking about my chest. I didn't get a chance to correct him. >> They not only get a 'don't bully people' lecture but also 'I could arrest you guys for sexual harassment' >> Tells me if I have any more problems to come to him>> Guys don't bother me any more. >> I greet him everyday in the halls until I leave.
>>275648Awww. That's a cool cop.
>>275648False reports of sexual harassment make people less likely to take real ones seriously.Congrats on possibly fucking over someone who really did need help.
>>275678Did you read the part where I was an upset middle schooler? But a bit of elaboration that didn't get put in with quick green text: I didn't realize he thought there was anything sexual until he was well into his lecture and by that point it was too late to go 'OH HEY THEY DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT' because I'm a wimp to authority figures and wasn't going to interrupt to correct him. Nothing happened to those boys other than getting lectured. If there had been I would have spoken up. As it is, it was just something that happened when I was younger. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET'S NOT ARGUE THIS. This thread will go down in flames. Here, have a picture of bird with a mohawk. Let's focus on this, and other people's stories, instead.
Couple years ago I'm sitting in my living room watching TV with my mom when we hear gunshots outside and a car speed off. We looked out the window and saw a random guy running the fuck away in the opposite direction of the car and go outside. There's bullet casings in our driveway and pockmarks in the side of our house. So my mom calls the police. Thirty minutes later an officer shows up, with his nametag on upside down, asks a couple questions, picks the bullet casings up and just drops them in his shirt pocket, and tells us they'll keep us posted if they get any information.We haven't heard anything about it. Ever.
>>275622Also depends on where you live. Some areas have better police than others.
>>275727Most will still take longer to reach your house than the pizza guy on a busy night.
>>275183What if you don't have a lawyer?
>>275744Not have a lawyer? In this litigious, heavily-regulated society where everything is either a crime or grounds for a civil suit? The only people who shouldn't have lawyers are those who are lawyers themselves!
>>275399Well, that's pretty lame.I'm sorry that happened.
> am walking down stree> cop in alley> stop and squint to see what the fuck its doing> cop pulls over to my side of the street> gets out, asks me why im not in school> i explain my schooling situation> he ends up giving me a target giftcard worth $10>my face
>>276057A sad tale indeed.
>>276057> am walking down stree> cop in alley> stop and squint to see what the fuck its doing hehei like how you called the cop an itlike is a mysterious creature
>>275729That's not my experience with my local cops. Maybe I have good cops. Or shitty pizza guys.
>>276184Do you live in the suburbs? Just curious. Around my area, the police are already crawling around so a fast response time isn't unusual. It's a weird mix of suburbs leading to corners full of minorities (me included), farms, rednecks, and that spot a friend of mine was living in that wasn't officially part of the county but now it is all of a sudden so his neighbor that shoots up raccoons with autofire probably won't be allowed to do that anymore.
>>276184I dunno, maybe every town I've lived in has had shitty cops.
My observation is that cops respond slowly to everything, especially emergencies.
>>276215I do, but all my cop experience has been on the job, which is located outside of the burbs.
>Blasting across the bridge at 140, whiz past cop.>he's got to drive to the bottom of the narrow bridge to swing around>I speed up and fly over a hill into the trailer park straight off the bridge>Park, shut everything off and wait for him to drive past, haul out and head home praying he never got a look at me, two years later still nothing.
>Friend gets arrested at party for wearing clothes that smell of dope because of his roommate.>He's drunk, braver and larger than I am.>Cop puts the cuffs on him and it dawns on him he's being arrested he jumps from the second floor, rolls and runs clean into the woods like I've never seen him move.>None of us tell the cop who he is>Cops puts up a reward asking him to return the cuffs and all the charges will be dropped>Left on the steps of the station in a brown bag is the remains of the mangled cuffs.
>>276443what a great guy
>>276441>>276443Welp, now I know why my life is so lackluster. Tiki here is using up all of plus4chan's allocation of awesome.
>>276575 Actually, we've started having him stop by weekly to give us infusions of it.It smells like pumpkin pie and lumberjack musk.
Every once in a while, I get hassled by a stupid cop that doesn't understand that almost no lake outside of the Twin Cities in MN has any laws against landing on it when they're frozen over. I can't think of any body of water that has any regs against landing on it outside of the Saint Croix river. I think that's only because Wisconsin is way more anal about natural preservation than Minnesota is and, since it's the border between the states, it'd be idiotic to not have Minnesotans be subject to the law as well, as then you've got the issue of one side being able to to do something and the other not.One time I was driving with a friend and this pair of dumb shit fucking meth addled cunts decided out driving wasn't up to her standards so they tail gated us until we got to a gas station. The absolute stupidity of it made me mad. You think we were driving unsafe, so you do the exact same fucking thing? Dumb fucking bitch. We got into an argument and one of them called the cops. She claimed we'd be "Arrested" as she "knew cops." I told her dumbshit ass that they lay a hand on me, I'm going straight to the ACLU. Oh they'd love that, a brown guy arrested without any decent reason? I'd be stylin' on the department. So, the cop gets here, he comes out and she immediately just charges at him. I swear, he almost pulled his tazer, this bitch was dumb as hell.So, she was yelling, demanded we be arrested, My friend and I are just standing against our car, arms crossed in a "DEAL WITH IT" kind of manner. So, she told him we were driving "UNSAFE" and need to be arrested. The older and evil more homely one took shots at our age, us being in our early twenties and she.. she looked about 60, but she claimed she was 40. She told me directly to "Go to bed" and I said it's hard to sleep when your husbands methlab is exploding. That, for whatever reason made her mad so she stormed on over. At that point the police officer draws his stun gun and tells her fugly ass to step off. So, we had to take breath exams. Of course, we were clean. They were clean for alcohol as well. The cop wanted to take a look at our cars, so I warned him we had fire arms in the trunk as we'd just been out shooting. He patted us down to make sure we didn't have anything on us, then we popped the trunk for him. I had my Vz.58 in there and my buddy had an MP-15. I also had my Taurus in there and he his Sig.So, time for their car, the driver popped the trunk right as the fugly one realized that was a bad idea. The dumbshits were actually hauling meth. I was just being an asshole by calling them meth users, but they seriously had a fucking tub full of the shit in their trunk. So, the fugly one tried to run and before the cop could even draw his tazer, she slipped on ice and face planted.Oh man, driving away with those too in the rear view, cuffed in the snow was so satisfying.>>276441I did shit like that once in High school. Was blasting down back roads at about 120, zip by cop, then duck into a corn field and killed the engine and lights.
>>276593Why was I not informed of this? I could be out hunting big game with my bare hands.
>Get pulled over for going 50 in a 45>Get 160 dollar ticket
>>276613Well...you were going over the speed limit. Most cops won't give a shit but there's still that risk.
>>276616oh pls.it's not the speed. she was driving under dangerous conditions: she's a godless bear. if you ask me, she got off easy.
>>276613>>276622The officer knew what he were doing.
>>276629> knew what he were doing
>>276634haters gon' hate, pabs. i still chuckled.
>>276599 >they tail gated us until we got to a gas station.Man, down here in Texas you do something like that you end up fuckin' SHOT. I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Trying to imagine the scene. I just don't see it ending well for said tailgaters.
>>276599That was a good story. I like the things you have to say, Fish.
>>276782It honestly mystifies me why they elected to tail gate. The validity of their claim not withstanding, let's go ahead and say we were driving in an unsafe manner: How the fuck do you justify driving in an equally unsafe manner? And oh, yeah, I remember Texas. You might get Tailgated in Houston City limits, but once you were out, you fucking don't. My neighbor claimed he was once tail gated from Houston all the way to Sugarland, so he slammed on the brakes, exited the vehicle the moment it lurched backwards, swung the door open while rolling down the window, then ducked behind it and leveled his handgun at the car behind him. He says it was just a bunch of dumb kids.>>276783Just remember, be careful who you accuse of using/cooking meth. Your very insult may just make it manifest. I was seriously shocked when they popped her trunk and there it was. I was honestly just being an asshole and since meth is a very popular substance in the MidWest, I was just going to use that as my vehicle for offense. It's not the same if you use Marijuana as it isn't as destructive on the body.I have a high school friend who is in law enforcement. He was telling me the kind of shit they find when they bust Meth houses. He even had a folder of suspects, they seriously looked like zombies. It looked like they were decomposing where they stood.
>>276782 >>276831Uh, wow. Not that I'm stupid enough to tailgate anyway, but I'll chalk that up as another reason to stay the fuck clear of Texas.
>>276839If you don't act like an asshole, you'll have no problem.There's no reason to be scared.
"Welcome to Texas. Don't Fuck Up!"
>>276841"Welcome to Texas! *PUNCH*"But seriously, El Paso and Austin are pretty much God tier cities, well worth the visit. San Antonio ain't bad either.Steer clear of Houston, though. It's a shithole. Especially the suburb of Taylor. Fuck Taylor. Goofy fucking name. Also, I think I saw the world's coolest cop today. He was leaning against the trunk of his patrol car, wearing aviator glasses and eating a big ass donut. He had a goatee and had a lean, hungry presence. Some kid walked by and might've laughed at the site of a cop eating a donut, so he put it down on a napkin on the trunk, crossed his arms and just watched that kid get into his car. He was kind of saying "Yeah, asshole I'm eating a donut and if any burger wrappers fall out of your car, I'm fining your ass" with his mannerism.
>>276840>If you don't act like an asshole, you'll have no problem.See, pulling a gun on someone because you don't like their driving sounds like the act of an asshole to me, but apparently that's normal there. Obviously my mindset is incompatible with survival there.
>>276845Well, in that case, I'll word it differently:Don't do something that'll piss everyone off.
>>276845>don't like their driving Tailgating is an asshole act, and a dangerous one as well.
I get tailgated all the time. In this state, if you are going less than 20 miles above the speed limit and/or there is more than one car length of open space in front of you, it's like an open invitation to ride your ass.Last week I got tailgated for miles by this dude whose (otherwise nice, new) car had its entire front smashed in. Wonder how that happened, jackass. Wish you learned something from that incident.