Finally I have a reason to tell this story.

One time I was high as fuck from weed and driving back home from a friend's house, I don't remember if I also drank, I might have had a beer or two (which is very rare and in retrospect I am ashamed for driving possibly intoxicated and do NOT have a habit of doing so), and I was going down a 4 lane road, and decided to drive to a suburban stretch to avoid traffic, this was around night time.

So I get to an exit and I need to basically get back on the main road and make a u-turn to keep heading home, and there is a line of cars behind me and no stoplight near, so I make a turn right in the middle of the road but my car is long so I end up being stuck on the side, blocking both lanes, but there's no cars on my side yet. So I start to back up slow, and suddenly big headlights are going through my windows and a cop car is next to me. I keep backing up, going forward, backing up, forward, till I am finally straight and facing the right way..and then I wait for the cop to come to my window.

He arrives and before he says anything, I go, "Excuse me, officer, can I just explain what happened first.."

And he goes, "Ok go ahead..".

I go, "I was driving along and I had forgotten that I sat on my cellphone on the seat, and as I was driving somebody suddenly called me and I had it on vibrator, and the sudden vibration scared me and threw me off, and I spasmed off road, which is why I ended up having to make this U-Turn.."

And then he asked me for ID and my eyes were bloodshot, and I don't remember the rest but basically after he checked out my license was in order he just let me go lol.

>>275597

...I'd laugh if that kind of stuff didn't actually result in killing people.

>>275598
The actual U-turn was when there were no cars on the lanes I wanted to go on, as far as the eyes could see, the only reason a cop car came was because it also made a U-Turn I guess when it saw me from a rearview mirror on the other side.

  >Thread about cop stories.
>About half involve cops hassling innocent people, typically for no good reason.

I am unsurprised.

>>275602

To be fair, its one of the more "remembering the hits more than the misses" things. Cops doing their job = Not as memorable. Cops being douchebags = Memorable.

>>275618
It's actually the other way around for me, and shit, for most people I know. Cops being decent is a surprising and notable occurrence. Maybe not so much for middleclass heteronormative looking white people, I guess?

>>275622

I wouldn't know.

Though it could just be that people with an overexposure to police presence results in "cops being decent is a surprising and notable occurrence", and people with an underexposure to police presence results in "cops being douchebags is a surprising and notable occurrence".

Outside of protests, accident scenes, and me looking creepy/underage, I haven't had that much exposure to the police.

>>275370
next to? it read to me like he was riding it down the tracks.
also heres my cop story
>get beaten up at a friends party by said friends fuckwit lowlife brother
>report t it to the police, want to press charges
>they take a statement and tell me they're going to get some whitness statements
>update me every 4 or so months, checking if i still want to go ahead

>a year later they tell me they're almost done and if i still want to go ahead
>give me the option of just giving this dickhead an official warning.
>they've stalled for so long i just DGAF anymore

>>275602

What Kosh said. Being raided is something that sticks. I have a great respect for anyone in the police force. AND I do have a good story.

>> In middle school we had a cop in the school.
>> One day in gym two dicks wouldn't stop messing with me
>> Eventually get sent out because I was trying to kick their asses
>> The cop sees me, and since I was almost crying, comes to ask what's up
>> I tell him and show him the motions the kids were making (I'm overweight and they were making exaggerated motions at their stomachs)
>> Because I'm so upset and apparently made the motions too high he thought they were talking about my chest. I didn't get a chance to correct him.
>> They not only get a 'don't bully people' lecture but also 'I could arrest you guys for sexual harassment'
>> Tells me if I have any more problems to come to him
>> Guys don't bother me any more.
>> I greet him everyday in the halls until I leave.

>>275648
Awww. That's a cool cop.

>>275648
False reports of sexual harassment make people less likely to take real ones seriously.

Congrats on possibly fucking over someone who really did need help.

>>275678

Did you read the part where I was an upset middle schooler? But a bit of elaboration that didn't get put in with quick green text: I didn't realize he thought there was anything sexual until he was well into his lecture and by that point it was too late to go 'OH HEY THEY DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT' because I'm a wimp to authority figures and wasn't going to interrupt to correct him. Nothing happened to those boys other than getting lectured. If there had been I would have spoken up. As it is, it was just something that happened when I was younger.


BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET'S NOT ARGUE THIS. This thread will go down in flames. Here, have a picture of bird with a mohawk. Let's focus on this, and other people's stories, instead.

Couple years ago I'm sitting in my living room watching TV with my mom when we hear gunshots outside and a car speed off. We looked out the window and saw a random guy running the fuck away in the opposite direction of the car and go outside. There's bullet casings in our driveway and pockmarks in the side of our house. So my mom calls the police. Thirty minutes later an officer shows up, with his nametag on upside down, asks a couple questions, picks the bullet casings up and just drops them in his shirt pocket, and tells us they'll keep us posted if they get any information.

We haven't heard anything about it. Ever.

>>275622

Also depends on where you live. Some areas have better police than others.

>>275727
Most will still take longer to reach your house than the pizza guy on a busy night.

>>275183
What if you don't have a lawyer?

>>275744

Not have a lawyer? In this litigious, heavily-regulated society where everything is either a crime or grounds for a civil suit? The only people who shouldn't have lawyers are those who are lawyers themselves!

>>275399
Well, that's pretty lame.

I'm sorry that happened.

> am walking down stree
> cop in alley
> stop and squint to see what the fuck its doing
> cop pulls over to my side of the street
> gets out, asks me why im not in school
> i explain my schooling situation
> he ends up giving me a target giftcard worth $10

>my face

>>276057
A sad tale indeed.

>>276057
> am walking down stree
> cop in alley
> stop and squint to see what the fuck its doing

hehe
i like how you called the cop an it

like is a mysterious creature

>>275729

That's not my experience with my local cops. Maybe I have good cops. Or shitty pizza guys.

>>276184
Do you live in the suburbs? Just curious. Around my area, the police are already crawling around so a fast response time isn't unusual. It's a weird mix of suburbs leading to corners full of minorities (me included), farms, rednecks, and that spot a friend of mine was living in that wasn't officially part of the county but now it is all of a sudden so his neighbor that shoots up raccoons with autofire probably won't be allowed to do that anymore.

>>276184
I dunno, maybe every town I've lived in has had shitty cops.

My observation is that cops respond slowly to everything, especially emergencies.

>>276215

I do, but all my cop experience has been on the job, which is located outside of the burbs.

>Blasting across the bridge at 140, whiz past cop.
>he's got to drive to the bottom of the narrow bridge to swing around
>I speed up and fly over a hill into the trailer park straight off the bridge
>Park, shut everything off and wait for him to drive past, haul out and head home praying he never got a look at me, two years later still nothing.

>Friend gets arrested at party for wearing clothes that smell of dope because of his roommate.
>He's drunk, braver and larger than I am.
>Cop puts the cuffs on him and it dawns on him he's being arrested he jumps from the second floor, rolls and runs clean into the woods like I've never seen him move.
>None of us tell the cop who he is
>Cops puts up a reward asking him to return the cuffs and all the charges will be dropped
>Left on the steps of the station in a brown bag is the remains of the mangled cuffs.

>>276443

what a great guy

>>276441
>>276443
Welp, now I know why my life is so lackluster. Tiki here is using up all of plus4chan's allocation of awesome.

>>276575

Actually, we've started having him stop by weekly to give us infusions of it.

It smells like pumpkin pie and lumberjack musk.

Every once in a while, I get hassled by a stupid cop that doesn't understand that almost no lake outside of the Twin Cities in MN has any laws against landing on it when they're frozen over. I can't think of any body of water that has any regs against landing on it outside of the Saint Croix river. I think that's only because Wisconsin is way more anal about natural preservation than Minnesota is and, since it's the border between the states, it'd be idiotic to not have Minnesotans be subject to the law as well, as then you've got the issue of one side being able to to do something and the other not.

One time I was driving with a friend and this pair of dumb shit fucking meth addled cunts decided out driving wasn't up to her standards so they tail gated us until we got to a gas station. The absolute stupidity of it made me mad. You think we were driving unsafe, so you do the exact same fucking thing? Dumb fucking bitch. We got into an argument and one of them called the cops. She claimed we'd be "Arrested" as she "knew cops." I told her dumbshit ass that they lay a hand on me, I'm going straight to the ACLU. Oh they'd love that, a brown guy arrested without any decent reason? I'd be stylin' on the department. So, the cop gets here, he comes out and she immediately just charges at him. I swear, he almost pulled his tazer, this bitch was dumb as hell.

So, she was yelling, demanded we be arrested, My friend and I are just standing against our car, arms crossed in a "DEAL WITH IT" kind of manner. So, she told him we were driving "UNSAFE" and need to be arrested. The older and evil more homely one took shots at our age, us being in our early twenties and she.. she looked about 60, but she claimed she was 40. She told me directly to "Go to bed" and I said it's hard to sleep when your husbands methlab is exploding. That, for whatever reason made her mad so she stormed on over. At that point the police officer draws his stun gun and tells her fugly ass to step off.

So, we had to take breath exams. Of course, we were clean. They were clean for alcohol as well. The cop wanted to take a look at our cars, so I warned him we had fire arms in the trunk as we'd just been out shooting. He patted us down to make sure we didn't have anything on us, then we popped the trunk for him. I had my Vz.58 in there and my buddy had an MP-15. I also had my Taurus in there and he his Sig.

So, time for their car, the driver popped the trunk right as the fugly one realized that was a bad idea. The dumbshits were actually hauling meth. I was just being an asshole by calling them meth users, but they seriously had a fucking tub full of the shit in their trunk. So, the fugly one tried to run and before the cop could even draw his tazer, she slipped on ice and face planted.

Oh man, driving away with those too in the rear view, cuffed in the snow was so satisfying.

>>276441
I did shit like that once in High school. Was blasting down back roads at about 120, zip by cop, then duck into a corn field and killed the engine and lights.

>>276593
Why was I not informed of this? I could be out hunting big game with my bare hands.

>Get pulled over for going 50 in a 45
>Get 160 dollar ticket

>>276613
Well...you were going over the speed limit. Most cops won't give a shit but there's still that risk.

>>276616
oh pls.
it's not the speed.
she was driving under dangerous conditions: she's a godless bear. if you ask me, she got off easy.

>>276613
>>276622
The officer knew what he were doing.

>>276629
> knew what he were doing

>>276634
haters gon' hate, pabs.
i still chuckled.

>>276599
>they tail gated us until we got to a gas station.

Man, down here in Texas you do something like that you end up fuckin' SHOT. I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Trying to imagine the scene.

I just don't see it ending well for said tailgaters.

>>276599
That was a good story. I like the things you have to say, Fish.

>>276782
It honestly mystifies me why they elected to tail gate. The validity of their claim not withstanding, let's go ahead and say we were driving in an unsafe manner: How the fuck do you justify driving in an equally unsafe manner? And oh, yeah, I remember Texas. You might get Tailgated in Houston City limits, but once you were out, you fucking don't. My neighbor claimed he was once tail gated from Houston all the way to Sugarland, so he slammed on the brakes, exited the vehicle the moment it lurched backwards, swung the door open while rolling down the window, then ducked behind it and leveled his handgun at the car behind him. He says it was just a bunch of dumb kids.

>>276783
Just remember, be careful who you accuse of using/cooking meth. Your very insult may just make it manifest. I was seriously shocked when they popped her trunk and there it was. I was honestly just being an asshole and since meth is a very popular substance in the MidWest, I was just going to use that as my vehicle for offense. It's not the same if you use Marijuana as it isn't as destructive on the body.

I have a high school friend who is in law enforcement. He was telling me the kind of shit they find when they bust Meth houses. He even had a folder of suspects, they seriously looked like zombies. It looked like they were decomposing where they stood.

>>276782 >>276831
Uh, wow. Not that I'm stupid enough to tailgate anyway, but I'll chalk that up as another reason to stay the fuck clear of Texas.

>>276839
If you don't act like an asshole, you'll have no problem.
There's no reason to be scared.

"Welcome to Texas. Don't Fuck Up!"

  >>276841
"Welcome to Texas! *PUNCH*"

But seriously, El Paso and Austin are pretty much God tier cities, well worth the visit. San Antonio ain't bad either.

Steer clear of Houston, though. It's a shithole. Especially the suburb of Taylor. Fuck Taylor. Goofy fucking name.

Also, I think I saw the world's coolest cop today. He was leaning against the trunk of his patrol car, wearing aviator glasses and eating a big ass donut. He had a goatee and had a lean, hungry presence. Some kid walked by and might've laughed at the site of a cop eating a donut, so he put it down on a napkin on the trunk, crossed his arms and just watched that kid get into his car. He was kind of saying "Yeah, asshole I'm eating a donut and if any burger wrappers fall out of your car, I'm fining your ass" with his mannerism.

>>276840
>If you don't act like an asshole, you'll have no problem.

See, pulling a gun on someone because you don't like their driving sounds like the act of an asshole to me, but apparently that's normal there. Obviously my mindset is incompatible with survival there.

>>276845
Well, in that case, I'll word it differently:

Don't do something that'll piss everyone off.

>>276845
>don't like their driving
Tailgating is an asshole act, and a dangerous one as well.

I get tailgated all the time. In this state, if you are going less than 20 miles above the speed limit and/or there is more than one car length of open space in front of you, it's like an open invitation to ride your ass.

Last week I got tailgated for miles by this dude whose (otherwise nice, new) car had its entire front smashed in. Wonder how that happened, jackass. Wish you learned something from that incident.