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  • 08/21/12 - Poll ended; /cod/ split off as a new board from /pco/.

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67880 No. 67880
last thread here: >>65129
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>> No. 67881
So word on the street is Latula's a trap. On account of her Knight (male player only) title and all the "aawww yea I'M A RAD GIRL"

#alt = TR4P
>> No. 67882
That theory's stupid. And you're stupid for making me read it. And now I'm stupid.
>> No. 67883
Knight was never said to be male only, just like Seer was never said to be female only. You just assumed that and now you're dumb because you don't let go of it.

Also "trap" is a hugely offensive term for transwomen, please do not use.
>> No. 67886
I still think Caliborn is somewhat a dead end. Hussie's trying to assure us that Lord English is Caliborn.
>> No. 67887
It didn't make sense to me why Latula said it "it made sense" that the Mindfang/Redglare rivalry was so huge that it spilled into their descendant's lives. Like she said, she and Aranea didn't really interact much. Then when I thought about her role as a Knight of Mind, it hit me.

As a Knight, her role would be to weaponize her aspect. And what better mind to weaponize than someone who can manipulate the minds of SC4DZ of people all at once?
>> No. 67888
4chan circulated the theory. "Trap" is their word usage, not mine. It is an obvious bait word (wow, unintentional pun) too, one I doubted anyone ever took seriously.
>> No. 67910
>Also "trap" is a hugely offensive term for transwomen, please do not use.
Get out Kankri,I've checked my privilege already!
>> No. 67912
thanks for confirming my suspicion that "hey don't refer to transwomen as traps, it's a legit slur (and you shouldn't say it just like you shouldn't call black people niggers)" really is going to be met with "lol u said its offensive lol oversensitive social justice warriors, i'm going to make a kankri joke because i think i'm hilarious." you're the first fuckwad i've seen who's done it but i doubt you will be the last, unfortunately.

It could go either way at this point. It might end up being a fakeout and Calliope is the real Lord English somehow, or he might be making it so obvious because it... is really obvious Caliborn and Lord English are the same person. Like how people thought that Jade prototyping Bec was too obvious a move so they cooked up wild theories about what she'll actually do, and then it turned out she prototyped Bec after all.

I think it's possible though, given the amount of emphasis Hussie is putting on pre-scratch sessions and ancestors, that Caliborn will scratch his session immediately after entering (he is the Time player after all) and the Lord English we know is actually his post-Scratch self. Explains the age discrepancy.

It's really unlikely Calliope's Lord English. Mostly because Caliborn is, you know, already a Lord, and Calliope's a girl while LE has been consistently referred to as "he," and I can't think of a reason why Calliope would be out destroying everyone's shit just because she can.
>> No. 67915
Trap is a joke term.
Nigger is not.
I don't exactly think that's a valid comparison past "both are slurs."
But whore is a slur too, and I'd like to think we can both acknowledge that it isn't nearly on the same level.
>> No. 67917
Next walkaround part will be Karkat checking out his old neighborhood and running into more pre-scratch trolls. Meenah practically confirmed it for us anyway.

Then after that, hopefully we get back to more Meenah. I want to see shit go down between her and Damara, don't let me down Hussie!
>> No. 67920
So Latula is dating Mituna, and theres no way Latual would be dating an unrad dude.

So what could Mituna possibly do for him to be rad enough for Latula?

We already know the answer... hes a pilot.
>> No. 67921
File 134674343860.png - (68.76KB , 440x478 , gonna be mad if he's not.png )
no, he's a psychonaut.
>> No. 68241
File 134721977285.jpg - (30.79KB , 450x217 , utopia.jpg )
So, Caliborn grows up to be Lord English, an omnipotent killer, and ascribed "space pimp." I'd be impressed if we got to see his full ascension from stringy psychopath to muscled-out rainbow puker, but even if we don't. . .

Why is Caliborn so sadistic from an early age? His sexuality is deviant by cherub standards, but in addition, he makes a point of being as violent and hateful as possible, especially towards Calliope. Even later in life, after becoming a god of time, he specifically seeks out girls to corrupt and then destroy in the most horrible ways possible, befitting the "space pimp" theme.

But why does he do this? My pet theory as of now is that Calliope agitated him in some way throughout his youth. He's not just evil because he's evil; Calliope drove him to this in some fashion, perhaps by elaborate passive-aggressive psychological torture a la Rosemom.

Then again, maybe he'll be just like the fictional Caliban: spiteful for no reason other than spite. Seems like an underwhelming motivation for the final boss, though. . .
>> No. 68249
The Caliborn/Calliope struggle is your basic yin/yang, water/oil conflict. They don't mix because they're polar opposites, even if they're supposed to.
>> No. 68261
Hussie's leading us to believe that it's Caliborn, but I think it's something else. Caliborn's soul may be in Lil Cal. HAA HAA HAA HEE HEE HEE HOO HOO HOO!
>> No. 68262
I wouldn't call Caliban's spite unwarranted. His mother was the witch that previously lived on the island, and Prospero not only did away with her, but also kind of treated Caliban as the basest of slaves. That's a bad example to make your comparison of spite.
>> No. 68354
So. . . Were the Felt all cherubs, or what?
>> No. 68355
It's a valid theory, but personally I don't think they have the cheeks for it.

Right now I'm construing "juju" broadly, as a magical item with idiosyncratic properties that say something about the juju's rightful owner, without that owner necessarily being a cherub.
>> No. 68358
I think that Caliborn's soul is in the Lil Cal puppet.
>> No. 68359
then who is Lord English?
>> No. 68364
I think that's simplifying the issue considerably.

Lord English's "trick" is that he has an instanced existence, appearing in multiple timelines by being alchemized from "Green Sun Code" && "Li'l Cal" && Cue Ball.

If things are as we are being led to believe they are, and Lord English is Caliborn, then Li'l Cal represents him alchemically. His soul doesn't need to dwell within or anything like that, and in fact that'd be a bit odd given that English and Li'l Cal have existed in the same universe at the same time, even though Li'l Cal can't be duplicated. (Theoretically you could have jujus as soul containers without it being related to juju DRM, but something about that seems contrary to my intuitions.)
>> No. 68371
I think that the body of Caliborn is being remotely controlled by something else.
>> No. 68391
You mean like some kind of puppet master, pulling his strings?

>> No. 68410
He's some kind of master ventriloquist.
>> No. 68668
lol @ people who are taking that "nepeta is gamzee" blog even half seriously
>> No. 68697
Lord = one who has complete control over x

Muse = one who gives other control over x.

Lord english has shown powers which are both space like, and time like, leading me to belive calliope has given him her powers for whatever reason.
>> No. 68715
Not sure I get how LE has control over space. I take him being "already here" as more a reference to him being incredibly early than him being omnipresent.
>> No. 68716
He has the First Guardian lightning. He uses it to summon his bling during the Act 5-6 intermission.
>> No. 68727
True, I had forgotten about that. But shouldn't that be attributed more to Doc Scratch than to Calliope?
>> No. 68728
What if Doc Scratch IS Calliope? Or rather, just enough of her that Caliborn can swap into his body...
>> No. 68735
But we saw Doc Scratch being created the same was Bec was created.
>> No. 68739
>Gamzee may have used chucklevoodos to make Kurloz deafen Meulin, making him take a vow of silence
>yfw he is the one REALLY responsible for the Vriska/Terezi feud and wanted Terezi blinded so he could recruit her into some See no evil/ Speak no evil/ Hear no Evil thing
>> No. 68740
Naw, he was too strung out on sopor to do anything near that devious.
>> No. 68741
There's a theory floating around that the reason Terezi is hiding her eyes is because she took up Aranea on her offer to restore her sight. I think it goes a bit further than that. Terezi and (presumably) Latula have dragon lusii that shoot lasers from their eyes. Latula's alternate self is called "Redglare". Not too hard to theorize that Terezi's possible sight restoration would come with laser eyes, especially now that the resident "Cyclops" equivalent troll Sollux is too blind to shoot any lasers himself.
>> No. 68742
There's a theory floating around that the reason Terezi is hiding her eyes is because she took up Aranea on her offer to restore her sight. I think it goes a bit further than that. Terezi and (presumably) Latula have dragon lusii that shoot lasers from their eyes. Latula's alternate self is called "Redglare". Not too hard to theorize that Terezi's possible sight restoration would come with laser eyes, especially now that the resident "Cyclops" equivalent troll Sollux is too blind to shoot any lasers himself.
>> No. 68743
But... why? Terezi didn't have laser sight before being blinded. Latula doesn't have it and Redglare didn't have it.

We already know she's okay, if not outright comfortable, with being blind. Her dreamself was blind, because she didn't wish for sight the same way Tavros wanted his legs back. She has told us several times that she feels that it's her bond with her lusus and that she likes the unique perspective it gives her, and she politely refused Aranea's offer. Even if she was slightly shocked that it was possible at all, there's nothing that indicates it's what she wants.

She's just being mopey.
>> No. 68750
There's also a theory floating around that Terezi is hiding her eyes because she's dead.
>> No. 68842
She literally choked on Dave's huge cock and died, but since she was already in the dreambubble, she possessed her corpse temporarily. Dave confused her death/revival scream for some kind of mouth-orgasm.
>> No. 68848
How long has Lord English already been here?
>> No. 68872
If I had to guess, probably since page 1 of the comic.

He's so good at his gimmick that he's everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
>> No. 68873
>But we saw Doc Scratch being created the same was Bec was created.
1) The extra genetic code (for FG powers) was implied to be different and much longer, and to have come directly from LE.
2) Lil' Cal. Enough said.

Some of Calliope's DNA could easily be in there somewhere.
>> No. 68874

Don't forget that Li'l Cal is a juju, and that each of the Cherubs has a juju that they absolutely cannot let the other get their hands on. It's more than likely that said puppet is Calliope's juju.
>> No. 68876

Actually, I was going back and rereading parts of Act 5 on a whim, and I noticed something about Doc Scratch, especially early on, when everyone was still on Alternia.

Doc was really into games. He kept playing games with Vriska, and presumably also with Kanaya, and everyone else he got into contact with, and if he wasn't playing a game with them, he was helping them formulate a strategy to win a game or cheat at a game.

Now let us remember what Calliope told us about her brother:

>UU: his passion for games transcends any hUman Understanding of love.
>UU: for yoU to Understand it woUld be to fUlly comprehend the meaning of...
>UU: how to pUt it.
>GG: Um.
>GG: Beauty?
>UU: horror.

We also know that Doc Scratch is a puppet, very literally. He's made of fluff and has a puppeteer's hole and everything. Knowing what we do about Li'l Cal, we know he's a puppet that's part Cherubic juju.

What all this gets around to is that the "Doc Scratch" persona is just a mask. There never was a "Scratch" that was separate from his "employer", not really--English was speaking through him the whole time.

And by English, I mean Caliborn.

Consider Scratch's mannerisms: he's all-knowing, pompous, very "gentlemanly" and well-dressed, very well-organized, verbose to a fault, and is quite gregarious, even friendly. All of these are traits that Calliope also possesses.

But Calliope never put the cruel, vicious spin on these qualities that Scratch did! She seemed genuinely interested in helping the Alpha Kids, and to be a genuinely nice individual, moments of (justifiable) anger at Caliborn notwithstanding.

Scratch is such a bastard because he's Caliborn's mockery of his sister. The Doc Scratch persona is all Caliborn making fun of Calliope.

Scratch's rage at Vriska for stealing his cue ball also makes more sense looked at in this light: he's not mad because some "part" of him was stolen. He's mad because she's breaking the rules of their game--she's actually cheating and getting away with it.

Caliborn's true personality broke through when he learned that, just for a moment.
>> No. 68877

tl;dr/clarification-- Scratch is a ventriloquist's dummy, Caliborn (as English) is the ventriloquist, and everything "Doc Scratch" was was an act designed to mock Calliope's helpful nature.

Oh, and a convenient mechanism for entry into the Furthest Ring, so there's that too.

I don't think Calliope herself was alive inside of Doc--inside Li'l Cal, maybe, but I doubt it. I think her consciousness is still in her body, it's just leashed and suppressed, but Caliborn needs her to still exist so that he can use her Muse of Space powers to operate the Cairo Overcoat, which is both space and time-travel capable.
>> No. 68879

Good points, and doesnt Doc Scratch also mention that his personality is always used to usher in LE?
>> No. 68881
Even if Calliope is't dead but just "sleeping" she'd still always be in the bubbles since her dreamself is dead. Neat theory!
>> No. 68895
Since English was inside Scratch, and Calliope shares a body with Caliborn, she could be seen as technically in Scratch, just not in control of him.
>> No. 68954
okay so I was thinking about it, and it's been said Heirs are passive, but John's been fairly active throughout the game, though always at the will of someone else.

What if Heirs are "one who fights using x so others don't have to"? It's a passive description, while explaining how much combat John's been getting into, and how well he's done at it.

All of the Heirs shown at some point went off to fight/do something alone to protect others.
-John initiated the scratch, saving Dave from having to do so
-Equius went off to face the Highb100d, though he failed and was killed,
-Mituna protected his teammates from a great evil, burning his powers out in the process.

As such, Heirs are powerful fighters designed to use their powers by themselves. They tackle the hard problems so others don't have to.
>> No. 68966
File 134922596821.png - (305.59KB , 641x594 , LOFAF Crop.png )
Got the weird urge to figure out just what scale the Lands in SBURB are on, after watching Cascade again for the nostalgia.

So, took a screencap from part of Cascade, poked at it in GIMP, found that in this picture at least the width of Jade's house/tower is about 3 pixels, and the width of the planet at it's "equator" is about 480 pixels. So the planet is about 160 times as wide as her house.

Assuming that the base of Jade's tower house is roughly 100 meters across (it was a big tower), then the planet is about 16,000 meters in diameter, which is roughly 10 miles.

That's actually a size i can believe. Roughly 300 square miles of dungeons, weird puzzle shit, fun, and adventure for any enterprising young SBURB player, and that's not counting all the possible subterranean cave messes that could be below the surface.

Thoughts? Counter-Thoughts? Contradictions?
>> No. 68995
Kind of small for THIS IS A PLANET, YO, but makes sense. I would think that the tower is smaller than it looks just because it needle dot be distinguishable at all on this scale, but we can also see the volcano instead of there just being an oddly thick line leading away from the planet.

I'm not sure if it's been discussed already, but I think one way of handling the denizens is to have them switch places. Dave's denizen would be perfectly happy with access to the forge, and might even help light it, while Jade's would be unlikely to completely freeze a planet that's almost entirely molten. Similarly, Rose probably wouldn't mind if her planet got covered in oil and scary clouds, at least if she had the same interest in horrorterrors she had before having and recovering from grimdarkness, while John would probably appreciate a planet covered in fancy rainbow water and weather that can be played musically.
>> No. 69128
Someone told me that Doom = Fate has been confirmed. Did I miss something particular, or should I just go play the latest flash again?
>> No. 69129
It's not completely clear, but "fate" is looking far more plausible at this point than "death" or something else really scary-sounding. Sollux and Mituna both had visions of bad futures. If we met a Doom player who wasn't a Captor, it would be immediately obvious whether those visions came from troll powers or Doom powers. All we can say right now is that it's not a Mage thing. This should be easier to figure out once we see how Life works later on, since we know they're "inversions" of each other.

I might as well point out that death and the afterlife are already strongly associated with Time. That's been going on since the Preserved Dead Things way back in Dave's introduction, and it only gets more obvious in acts 5 and 6 (Aradia's entire character arc, the "troll grim reaper" being LE, etc.) so we can pretty much assume that mortality itself is not part of what Doom represents. That still leaves a lot on the table, though, with respect to other things associated with death. For example: Failure, loss, pain, punishment, and retribution.

Eventually there'll be a reveal about this stuff and we'll all kick ourselves for not picking up on the hints sooner. In the meantime someone with a degree in philosophy ought to go over Life and Doom with a fine-toothed comb and tell us what they find.
>> No. 69130
I always love reading peoples' theories on the different roles and aspects, and I do agree with you. I tend to view Doom as 'Failure,' but that would make one of the interpretations of Life 'Success.' While they are related, I feel that's stretching it a little bit, especially since we've only seen the healing aspect of Life and nearly nothing substantial from Doom.

I think it's pretty clear that the Aspects are split into two groups, one "positive" and one "negative." The first encompasses Aspects such as Space, Life, Light and Hope, while others such as Time, Doom, Rage and Void are included in the latter. There are a few I'm not sure about, i.e. Mind, Heart, Blood and Breath, but it's noteworthy that all of their 'literal' names have a body motif. Perhaps they make their own neutral group?

Really though, I just heard someone say that Doom = Fate as if it was a fact, and wondered whether I'd missed some exposition.
>> No. 69148
The Condesce used her Thief of Life powers for wholesale slaughter of entire civilizations and used the life she stole to keep her engine alive for centuries past his natural lifespan. Jane has a self-revival power and Feferi has healing hands.

Life is actually probably the aspect we know the most about since we've seen three different characters using it in different ways.
>> No. 69160
What if John and Tavros are fighting over the ring from Caliborn's session?

What if WV puts it on
>> No. 69161
What if John and Tavros are fighting over the ring from Caliborn's session?

What if WV puts it on
>> No. 69166
>VRISKA: We've explored ancient crypts, networks of 8urial mounds, dusty old tom8s, giant pyramids, you name it. Hints a8out the endgame are hidden all over the place.



Well well well, look what nobody noticed just now.
>> No. 69173
I must be missing something because I don't recall the other planet letters being revealed.

If burials are where the ultimate weapon is to be found, then I get a feeling that not only is the weapon something's remains/bones, but that the huge and mythically important green bone Meenah found may be related somehow.
>> No. 69175
I think during the Myststuck thing some of the writings on the walls of stuff mentioned it.
>> No. 69185
It's also LOTAK, not LOTAM.

Land of Mounds and Xenon
Land of Tombs and Krypton
Land of Pyramids and Neon
>> No. 69186
Thanks. After reading that, I was trying to figure out which noble gas belonged to which land, but I couldn't seem to remember any of them beginning with an M.
>> No. 69187
Thanks. After reading that, I was trying to figure out which noble gas belonged to which land, but I couldn't seem to remember any of them beginning with an M.
>> No. 69191
It could also be that the weapon is part of what killed everything off and thus made the need for all these burials, though I like to think those were somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy in which everyone stopped farming to make burials for everyone dying because they starved since no one was farming. I personally still think the crowbar has something to do with beating him, though if it's a body part I guess the crowbar could be used to alchemise an animal with similar powers as an attribute of its body.
>> No. 69193
There are supposed to be multiple things like cheats and loophole exploitations that allow LE to be defeated, so it could very well be all of these things being theorized.
>> No. 69194
>Land of Pyramids and Neon
I can't wait to see it.
>> No. 69197
File 135043899286.jpg - (54.39KB , 640x480 , luxor_1.jpg )
>> No. 69200
Yeah that seems likely. Helium is commonly known as being lighter than air, thus the balloon pods on LOCAH, and neon is commonly known to be used in lighting.
What about the other two, though?
>> No. 69201
To start off, which land belongs to which kid? LOCAH is Jane's, and LOMAX is hinted to be Jake's, right? Then I'm guessing Dirk gets LOPAN and Roxy LOTAK.

Why? Well, since helium turned out to be its most well-known use, I'd say the same goes for the others. In that case, neon is obvious. that leaves us with xenon and krypton. Without getting into high-level scientific details, both are used in photographic flashes and in certain types of lasers. Xenon (Jake) has been used for imaging of soft tissues, in plasma display panels (movies, anyone?) and is apparently also a great anaesthetic. Krypton (Roxy) is an asphyxiant gas used in CT scans that has strong narcotic properties if inhaled.

No idea what Hussie's planning to do with all of these, though. TV screens and x-rays seem kinda weird.
>> No. 69203
Blockhead - The Music Scenevimeo thumb maybe?
Roxy's might be a straight-up hospital, especially since she could even have a mess of carapace people to staff it. Just one that happens to have a very extensive morgue.
>> No. 69204
Wouldn't that be more Jane's thing, though? Roxy's quest will definitely involve helping others, since that's sorta her role (whatever Void means, I've got my suspicions). I'm thinking Hussie will go with the narcotic aspect of Krypton. After all, she's down to one body now, meaning that falling asleep sends her to the bubbles. Coupled with her subconscious Void/horrorterror/dreambubble affinity and that Jane's quest is so off-rail already, what with seemingly focusing on preserving the lives of her friends, I'd say that Roxy will be their dreambubble ambassador. Perhaps she'll even be the one to find Calliope.
>> No. 69207
Possibly, though that might be something for Jane to do while passing trough the other player's worlds. Jake would also seem appropriate for a few reasons, since his gas is a good anesthetic and he has the whole skulls theme going. Morgue also starts with m, like mounds. While I agree that use as a narcotic is going to be part of the world, I'm not sure how the planet could be themed after that, or more importantly how it could relate to a puzzle. Nothing stopping it from being available as both, though.
>> No. 69209
It could be mausoleums too, but just going off what Vriska said its more likely to be mounds.
>> No. 69303
>all kinds of reversals going on when it comes to alternate universe characters
>Gamzee seemingly betraying the other players after a revelation
>Kurloz certainly doing so, but in secret
>LE hooking people on drugs as part of how he controls them (>>69259 and >>69261)
>Gamzee changes personality after being forced off of sopor slime.
>When he does, he claims what he thought were his gods were a lie, and that the real gods were himself and also himself.
>With Beforus, you have both Kurloz, who is kind of an alternate Gamzee, and Kurloz's ancestor, who is entirely an alternate version of him.
How far off on a limb would I be for thinking that Gamzee hasn't really switched to serving Lord English, but makes it look like he has in order to get close to him?
>> No. 69304
You wouldn't be alone.
>> No. 69310
Yeah, I'm entirely in the dark about Gamzee's motivations at this point. I'm sure whatever they are, they're not straight forward--if he IS serving Lord English, I don't think it's anything as simple as "I want to end everything too" or something. If he's NOT serving Lord English, I don't think it's as simple as "I'm playing Double Agent to get close to him" either.

I think Gamzee might end up being a wild card, like Jack. Because at this point I wouldn't be surprised if Jack ends up helping take down Lord English just because he wouldn't have anyone left to stab if Lord English killed everyone.
>> No. 69330
So, about Rose's drunken speech on apples and symbolism. While I'm not ready to pick that thing apart, watch it be important to our understanding of Void. Rose's powers are pretty much the pinnacle of illumination (which Aranea confirmed was one interpretation/form of Light), and due to her unique relationship with the aspect of Void I'd say that she has the greatest insight when it comes to its workings.

So if any of you intellectuals out there feel like un-drunkening and de-complicating it, I know at least a few of us would be thankful. Especially since Aranea's explanation told us very little. While you're on it I'll take a ten year nap and emerge as butterfly.
>> No. 69376
Don't be too quick to assume she's talking about Void. All through act 6, there's a lot of people saying "maybe if I wish hard enough, my wish will come true," which is pretty blatantly a Hope thing. Most of them don't seem to have any particular relationship with Hope, though.
>> No. 69491
File 135199463293.gif - (379.28KB , 650x650 , 05425.gif )
The stuff in Calliope's scrapbook friend fiction actually happened, in some bizarre Muse way where instead of a muse inspiring the written work, the written work of a Muse inspires what happens in actual Homestuck.

And line seen here, "She yelled and yelled, but no one could see her."

You guys. Calliope is ALREADY HERE.
>> No. 69498
Calliope is the Bastion B. Bux of Homestuck. Wouldn't be the first time where there were Neverending Story refs in this comic.
>> No. 69522
File 135210420222.gif - (4.62KB , 216x281 , bot.gif )
>bed is some sort of electronic gadget
>bedpost globes are supposed to glow like light bulbs under certain circumstances

>bedposts are glowing
>dreambot turns on

So it's pretty likely that Jake's got a robot dopplegander hidden somewhere in his house? Obviously he can't operate it because his dreamself is dead, but I call shenanigans at the fact that hussie even put this detail in if he's not gonna use it.

>> No. 69526
What if, instead of a body double for his dreamself, it's an Aradia-style robot body that happens to be meant for reviving his dreamself as a robot?
>> No. 69639
They're counted in intervals of sevens, like weeks.
There's 21, almost 22 week's worth of scratches.

22 weeks from November 11th, 2011, is April 13, 2012.

Tomorrow is the end of the three-year travel that the Beta kids are going through. Tomorrow, they all meet up.
>> No. 69791
>Serenity is Calliope

>> No. 69793
I still don't see evidence for that theory. Run any of serenity's "dialogue" through a morse code translator, it doesn't sound like calliope at all.
>> No. 69796
Good point
also not my theory, just BTW
>> No. 69799
I'm beginning to think that Caliborn's session is a lot less unique than he thinks.

He'll have a Land, and Gates, and even get to explore his sister's Land. He might have consorts, if he doesn't murder them on sight. He'll even get to meet Hephaestus.

What he's going to miss out on is the battle. There will be no underlings. There will be no war for the Battlefield. The crucible of Skaia's potential is already darkened. There can be no Genesis Frog when the Muse of Space is dead, and Caliborn is unlikely to be interested in forging one. The war was fought and won outside the session. This session is just Caliborn's victory lap.

He won. And he's not going to be satisfied with that.
>> No. 69800
>> No. 69801
I think the only thing I like about that theory is that for all the evidence it purports to assemble, there is an equally massive preponderance of evidence against, leaving it squarely in the realm of "bullshit speculation".

I mean, come the fuck on. I'm not going to pretend to be objective here, that theory is fuckin' dumb. It has interesting aspects, like the "uranian" thing, but that could just as easily tie into that Calliope feels like a shadow trapped in the body increasingly becoming her brother's. But overall? No.

As was stated on the actual forums, why try so hard to squish Calliope into the villain box when Caliborn fits already?

>> No. 69802

See here for counterevidence/rebuttal.
>> No. 69904
File 135347442045.png - (183.55KB , 1551x1452 , thYTS.png )
Lord English is Caliborns self-insert
>> No. 69906
sure is cold in here
>> No. 69909
What an almighty idiot!
>> No. 69915
How much do we know about the means the Condesce uses to visit the B1 and B2 universes and the B2 incipisphere, and the order she visits them in?

Is it possible that she travels through them in the opposite direction of the narrative? She'd enter the B2 incipisphere from the Furthest Ring, hijack a defense portal to B2 Earth and later still take a modified transmaterializer or something to B1 Earth.

Oh, and speaking of transmats, why are those there? Are they a "natural" feature of a Scratch? If so, shouldn't the trolls have had them, too? Did they just not find them? Or maybe it's another instance of the A universes' fucked-upness, like the inversed causality thing with their Scratch/ectobiology?
>> No. 70028
Guys. . . Guys.

I was just watching Terezi's "Ascend" scene for giggles because it's superior Dave's, and well. When she Captchalogues Lil' Cal, he appears in her sylladex. . .

And his head turns to look at her.

I'm scared, guys. Hold me.
>> No. 70068
What if universe A1 is secretly controlled in some way by The Condense, who, having learned of irony from the kids, proceeded to ironically make Beforus into an opposite of Alternea? Also, she'd switch to running Kraft Foods, since that's who produces A1 sauce.
>> No. 70118
> magic, fairies, dragons, cherubs, and rufio(h) are all Actual Real Things in homestuck canon
> but leprechauns wtf

...what if "leprechaun" is the name for the Felt's species.
>> No. 70119
> everything in this paragraph is a Real Actual Thing in homestuck canon
> everything except leprechauns
...what if "leprechaun" is the name for the Felt's species.
>> No. 70122
It would imply Lord English promised pots of gold in return for their time serving him.
>> No. 70123
This is almost turning into that Buffy the Vampire Slayer joke, where every thing from any myth turned out to be real, except leprechauns, which everyone would laugh at you for suggesting might be real.
>> No. 70150
File 135427117387.png - (33.18KB , 647x438 , wtfbroski.png )

Well this theory is fascinating.

I really do hope hussie touches on WTF the beta guardians' deal was before homestuck ends.
>> No. 70151
I really like this one. Doubly so because of the awful retroactive pun.

I just hope that if that IS the plan, Hussie doesn't see this and change it last minute to fuck with us.
>> No. 70152
He's said before that "calling it" is really more "influencing it" when it comes to big Homestuck theories. He's also said before that he doesn't change plans he's laid just because someone guesses them.
>> No. 70154

lildurandal got more evidence for this theory

>> No. 70157
>> No. 70192
I just realized, There's one more character Gamzee can prototype: himself.
>> No. 70199
That only works if this Gamzee is later on his own personal timeline than the Gamzee Caliborn just shot up. Which seems unlikely to me for a couple of reasons. It'd be a weird detour even by his standards, plus his clothes are not all shot up.
>> No. 70201
If we're taking the complementary color theme seriously it would be Equius plus Dirk's head.
>> No. 70202
It would also mean another Strider whose sprite prototyped with a form of himself.
>> No. 70251
This is probably a far off event but I'm gonna call it now anyway.

The batterwitch will finally be killed, likely after a very difficult battle or a very elaborate assassination. There will be rejoicing. Then, someone will turn their back on the body, and she'll get back up as a rainbow drinker. She does have the power of every blood caste, after all.
>> No. 70252
Whatever happened to Dirk's mini-Maplehoof? We haven't seen it in forever. I bet it died somehow and will end up being prototyped with Equius because, well, it's a horse. A Humanimal Equius Sprite would be exactly the blend of disturbing and funny that we've come to associate with Equius (and Hussie).

Actually, you know what would be terrible but really funny? Dad having died, and getting prototyped with Equius. I kind of want that to happen now just for how fucked up it would be.
>> No. 70255
It's having lesbian makeouts with Serenity.
>> No. 70369
File 135469164175.gif - (282.17KB , 650x451 , ps1094.gif )
>people theorizing jake will die when the kids arrive
>people theorizing jake will get controlled by LE at some point

why don't we have both?

LE and his servants are already loosely associated with weird voodoo shit via Stitch's effigies and Die's doll, it's not like it would be /completely/ out of the blue...
>> No. 70370
>Roxy has been kidnapped and knocked out by the Condesce
>"I bet something terrible's going to happen to Jake any second now!"
>> No. 70374
It's like Jake himself is posting the theory!
>> No. 70388
>The Condesce brought Roxy to her because Roxy is the Void player, therefore English cannot detect her. The Condesce needs the nobles' and the gods' help to kill English and break her curse, so she's going to ask Roxy to help her. Roxy will not be permitted to refuse.
>> No. 70424
If that is indeed her plan, then it's not gonna work. The radio towers don't give a shit.
>> No. 70426
Roxy's blackout stops when she's asleep, allowing Caliborn to spy on Jane
>> No. 70427
In the last update he confirmed that he saw both of them in a waking state at the same time though.
>> No. 70541
He's able to see them, but is he able to hear what anyone says outside of chat channels? If not, then the Condense just needs to look like she's torturing Roxy convincingly enough for Caliborn to just presume she's bad-mouthing her.
>> No. 70848
I bet that since Caliborn's session is beyond saving, he'll have to end up performing a scratch because it will be the only way for him to win the game. He either won't care that he gets 'reset' because it will help him win, or he just wont understand the consequences of what he is doing.

After the Scratch, Caliborn will be reborn as a Muse of Time and the new Calliope will be the Lord of Space. This Alt-Callie will defeat Caliborn and ultimately become Lord English.

This is based on nothing other than the feeling of "yeah, I could see that happening."
>> No. 70860
I don't think he'd be destroyed in the Scratch, since as the muse of time I don't think he'd become Lord English, but other than that it sounds interesting. Calliope seems to think it was a doomed time line version of herself, but she might have overlooked the possibility of Caliborn scratching the session.
>> No. 70879
Why do we think Caliborn gives a shit about creating the frog? Wouldn't it be more fun if he ignored the allegedly impossible "official" goal of the game and just used alchemy and stuff to give himself incredible powers and instanced immortality instead?
>> No. 70880
Maybe Hussie or Gamzee taunted him into it. Like "You probably couldn't beat SBurb anyway."
>> No. 71096
Someone finally disproved the aspect theories. I am surprised it took this long.
>> No. 71100
No, s/he didn't. It's a good counter-argument, but it doesn't prove anything. For one, the Horrorterrors weren't the sole reason she went grimdark. When Scratch told her her magic wasn't the result of her wands, he told the truth. Her magic is simply the manipulation of the aspect of Void, which Calliope and Aranea has told us could be basically anything the user wants it to be, which is why she could use it in so many different ways (levitation, flight, fire, rain and thunder, energy blasts, inter-dimensional explosions, the blackout). Her refusal of her quest gave her Void powers, and the Horrorterrors tied into that due to their connection to the Void.

That said, aspect inversion isn't exactly commonplace, nor should we really expect it to happen again. Rose's situation was completely unique, since she could not be allowed by Scratch/English/the Horroterrors/Paradox Space (your choice) to realize her potential as a Seer before she was tricked into creating the Green Sun.
>> No. 71106
If inversion is true then the titles are completely meaningless. Every character should be able to channel any title they want based on their mood.
>> No. 71111
Only mostly meaningless. A character can still most easily go with their aspect if they want to, or get fairly powerful at the opposite with a bit of difficulty, and can bend their interpretation of their main class a bit to where it overlaps greatly with a non-opposite class. But the more off-the-wall of a change it is, I think the more effort they'd have to go to to make a situation where it actually happens, so it'd usually not be worth bothering with, especially given that it usually involves disregarding your personal quest.
>> No. 71114
No, the thing is that an inversion is bad, both because it goes against who they're supposed to become, and because it goes again the class combinations of that session (a Seer of Light works better with a Knight of Time than a Mage of Void would). And Rose didn't simply refuse her role, she acted as opposite as a Seer of Light should. She was repeatedly told that what she did was wrong and dangerous both for herself and for others, and to reach the level of actual grimdarkness required the guidance/corruption of an outside source (Scratch).

Basically, aspect inversion is still a thing. But it's bad, counterproductive and requires extremely specific circumstances.
>> No. 71115
No, the thing is that an inversion is bad, both because it goes against who they're supposed to become, and because it goes again the class combinations of that session (a Seer of Light works better with a Knight of Time than a Mage of Void would). And Rose didn't simply refuse her role, she acted as opposite as a Seer of Light should. She was repeatedly told that what she did was wrong and dangerous both for herself and for others, and to reach the level of actual grimdarkness required the guidance/corruption of an outside source (Scratch).

Basically, aspect inversion is still a thing. But it's bad, counterproductive and requires extremely specific circumstances.
>> No. 71116
Why the fuck does anyone care about Inversion anyway? The classes are so vaguely defined in the first place that it doesn't really change anything if you're a different class to begin with. There's no canonical list of class skills, no particular subset of enemy types that only one class can deal with, and we haven't even been given any indication that the game is easier or harder based on the inclusion of any of the classes in your "party," except for needing a Space player and a Time player in any group except a Lord of Time solo game.
>> No. 71120
But every title is different from the one you have. There is no reason for one specific title to get singled out for this. Any other title you act like is going against your role.
>> No. 71186
File 13580450165.png - (61.44KB , 900x874 , homestuck_aspects_take_iii_by_omicronwanderer-d5fn.png )

B-b-but, it looks so nice and clean, don't it? Almost like hussie didn't pull most of them out of his ass wholesale because he forced his own hand by making 12 themed characters!

Seriously though, sometimes I wonder if people theorize so hard because they think that by doing so it'll become canon. I mean I'm pretty sure that's still a thing that can happen.
>> No. 71198
I think we can also agree a Bard makes everything hell to some degree.
>> No. 71214
The Condesce has accepted Jane as her heiress, and the last two times Condy took over the duty of somebody else, it was only after she killed them. She is essentially grooming Jane to kill her and take over her role.

Caliborn appears to be doing the same with Jake, grooming him to be his eventual killer. With Condy appearing to act immature and not too different from Meenah, she seems like a symbolic "childlike empress" in reference to The Neverending Story. The same could be said for Caliborn as "childlike emperor". They are lining Jane and Jake up to be the next empress and emperor.
>> No. 71226
>Dirk goes Trickster as well.
>They go see a carapace person, maybe WV due to him arriving somehow.
>Jane tries to turn him into a trickster carapace person.
>The carapace person bursts into zillium, Bohemian Rhapsody starts playing.
>Dirk, Jake, and Jane are so distraught that they explode into dust like the three witches in Hocus Pocus.
>> No. 71287
Given the manner of speech used by the tricksterized kids, and their inability to understand simple games, I think Square Wave might have a chance to actually out-rap someone.
>> No. 71289
Get Tavros and Gamzee involved so that the rap-battle can be so shitty it breaks causality.
>> No. 71611
I'm thinking Caliborn's mindlessly tedious work could actually be preparing him for something, specifically the mindless tedium he'll face if he ends up programming and/or churning out a ton of graphics for SBurb game. Also, the work he'd need to do as Doc Scratch, since he moves at speeds so absurd that they make everything else seem slow from his perspective.
>> No. 71630
Remember when Meenah said LE was kind of hot? So Condy is all ready for a showdown with her hated boss Lord English. The two face off and it looks like shit could get serious, then sloppy makeouts happen.
>> No. 71644
oh right
cherubs have black romance too
man that'd be funny
>> No. 71645
Oh right. Given the lethality of the battle ahead, sending Dirk out into the outer right might actually be needed for sparing him from English.
>> No. 71706
Remember how Kurloz was able to mind control Nepeta's ancestor, and was turning her into a worshiper of Lord English?

I think Gamzee might be in the progress of doing the same to Terezi.

He and Kurloz are biologically the same, so he should have the same ability Kurloz does.

Back in the flash it seemed like Kurloz hypnotized Nepeta's ancestor with his eyes, but we don't actually KNOW that visual contact is needed for that, do we?
>> No. 71707
>I think Gamzee might be in the progress of doing the same to Terezi.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be drawing those parallels.
>> No. 71708
Yeah, that might be the reason Tezezi has been hiding her eyes for a while now.
>> No. 71711
Blind girls can be hypnotized >:?
>> No. 71713
sure, why not?
just don't rely on visual stimuli
use like aural or haptic or olfactory ones or whatever
or your psychic powers
that probably works too
>> No. 71714
It's in the faygo.
>> No. 71843
File 136407409723.gif - (44.99KB , 650x450 , 01170.gif )
I bet a sawbuck that planets 11 and 14 were the other two already sunk in Caliborn's initial break.
>> No. 71844
Good luck finding someone to take that bet because it was pretty much implied.
>> No. 71856
Gamzee has the life ring, that's why he didn't die after getting shot repeatedly.
>> No. 71864
I'm guessing th void ring somehow gets negated after being lost to the void and thus turns into the life ring, which would help explain why only one is around at a time. Seems like that'd also reflect on the nature of the void aspect somewhat, in that things apparently come out of the void instead of just getting sucked in.
>> No. 71881
Or maybe it isn't negated, and it's just that the powers that make it useful to alive people aren't available if you're a ghost using it to be alive. That is, as a ring of void, it acts as a ring of life to things normally bound to the void, such as ghosts.
>> No. 72051
Lord English: Someone who is always already here
Gamzee: Cohort of English, and a clown.

How does the song go? "Send in the clowns. They're already here."

Hussie is a fucking genius if this turns out to be the case.
>> No. 73533
File 139046290169.png - (46.08KB , 500x95 , Caliborn would love Equius.png )
Caliborn would fucking love Equius
>> No. 73534
Now that I look at this, this is less of a theory and more of a statement. Ok so here's the theory part "Caliborn will somehow meet up with Arquiusprite and it will be awesome"

Muscles will be touched. Dirk will be there facepalming at both of them.
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