Hussie, I was all ready to like Dirk. I put up with the mysterious ironic puppetmaster shit in acts 1-4. I waited for you to introduce him. I withstood the haters after you outed him.
I am still
fucking
waiting

We're like 6 pages into his intro

Calm down for a bit.

>Squarewave
>Sawtooth

Should we be expecting Triangle and Sine soon?

Talk about self-insert, huh.
No I'm not being serious
Except in saying that Hussie totally has a SBAHJ tatoo
Motherfucker's crazy

Also holy fuck the jpeg artifacts stick out of his goddamn arm.

>>61090
maybe the "glitch" they kill Lord English with is by Dirk shoulder tackling him so hard the compression artifacts transfer onto him and turn him into a cruddy JPEG version of himself which is easily killed

>>61091
>easily killed
He'd probably just do a lifdoff and float away into the Furthest Ring for all eternity.

Oh, and by the way, for each time SBaHJ do something reality-breaking, I'm thinking more and more that it isn't just an awfully incrredible web comic. I mean, seriously. Those artifacts are fucking eldritch.

>>61089
The reason why I'm not all that into irony is because no matter how ironic it's meant to be, it's still tacky.

>>61095
That's kind of the point. Bro and Dirk were/are weird ass guys with strange interests who pass it off as being ironic, thus being cool dudes. It's very much a tacky thing, but they roll with it like champs.

>>61089
Wow now, 1. Is that actually Hussie? and 2. Is that real?

>>61096
Yes to both.
He made a bet a while back, I think it was about some piece of merch selling out within a certain time limit, with the losing conditions being that he'd get Hella Jeff's face tattooed on his arm.
He lost.

I understand, Dirk. Dash is my favorite pony too.

so it seems the Alpha kids seem to share traits with some of the trolls, Dirk has Equius's robotic skills, dress style and horse fetish, Roxy has a rifle-type energy weapon and Eridan's dual obsession with wizards and science, Jake has Aradia's archaeology interests and his plundering of frog temples, and Jane has Feferi's title as heiress to the Condesce, as well as using a trident-fork. Their eyewear is also kinda similar shaped.

I hope Dirk puts his shirt back on soon.

I can't stop seeing his tattoo as some weird deformed twin in sprite mode.

>>61100
wow, never realized the wizard/science duality with eridan until now.
doze.jpg

>>61102
Eridan is a wizard who likes science. Roxy is a scientist who likes wizards.

I still say the DJ one would be his fave.

>>61089
So is Hussie gay as well?

Oh hey, he's becoming oddly adorable now. That was unexpected.

What the hell did Dave do that got Ben Stiller killed?!

heh, he should alchemise that poster with some stuff, like his pocket board, for rainbow effects and maximum speed.

>>61108
In loving memory...

>>61102
>>61103

They also both obsess about being FOREVERALONE.jpg

I think that by combining elements of Equius with Bro is one of the reasons Dirk isn't as awesome as the original, his Bro'ness has been diluted with something much less awesome.

>OK FINE, YOU LOVE THIS ONE PARTICULAR LITTLE RAINBOW HORSE UNIRONICALLY, IS THAT SUCH A CRIME.

>She is so spunky. <3
Just like his moirail

Dave's movie are subliminally anti-Condense and the Batterwitch had Donald Glover killed!

GASP!

I feel like I shouldn't be laughing so hard at all this goddamned assassinating.

the Dirk updates

they... KEEP HAPENING

>>61120
I imagine they'll keep coming up until he has a conversation with someone, and then that'll be tomorrow's update, as logs typically take Hussie some time.

Yay!
Character development!

Becoming less bland minute by minute.

So is 'swole' the Southern word for 'brawlic'?

>>61124
swole = RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPED

>>61121
I honestly wish he would spread them out over a few pages instead of posting one page with a MASSIVE log. I looked through older pages, and it works quite well, alot easier to read through.

some Sendificator exposition
also it seems Dirk has plans for Jake's bro-bot. Ruthless killing plans.

>>61127
I don't really mind either way, but I do prefer logs to narrative updates, as more often then not, there's more to read and more information in logs.

>>61128
Oh god is Dirk gonna be what Vriska was to Tavros, to Jake?

>>61129

I don't think so.
He was the same way in universe B1, but strifing with Dave. Making Dave into a ruthless killing machine. I guess he just....does that.

>>61129
well Dirk already is causing shitstorms barely after his introduction, so I can see him becoming a "designated fandom enrager" character. With his penchant for manipulation and his ruthless killer-ness it's entirely possible that his unseen nimble digits will end up doing something that appears to be absolutely heinous for no immediately apparent reason, much like Vriska did with prototyping Bec or killing John. Hell, their first proper character appearances both involved showing up and inexplicably kicking the shit out of Dave/Tavros, with them both ending up on the ground messaging their chums about it.

plus it would be ironic that the character whose Beta self's death garnered so much hatred for the bitch who indirectly caused it would become just as hated as her when he came back

You know he went down swinging.

We salute you my friend!

>>61112
take that back, equius is a great troll

ps the reason dirk isn't as awesome as he was originally is because he had no lines and very few appearances as bro and you could force any personality you wanted on him. there's literally nothing in these sequences that contradicts or sullies anything he did as an adult. if you didn't glorify him back in early acts i doubt you'd be reacting so negatively to him, since of course he won't live up to your expectations. nothing ever does when you've got such a long time to build them up.

it's like when people get mad when link shows any trace of personality in any zelda game, because what he's doing doesn't match up to what they think he SHOULD be doing even though there is no actual substance in past games to compare the present game to. it's all in their heads.

so since the Alpha players are more ruthless and kill-y than the Betas it's entirely likely they will fuck up the session like the Trolls did, and will probably attempt to kill their denizens too, unlike the Beta kids and Tavros

>>61135
Eq's was a shit troll that died in a laughably pathetic fashion.

It's nice to have an actual villain in Homestuck after so long.

We've got Jack Noir, whose literally only purpose is to kill off characters.

We've got Lord English, who we don't even know is a villain, only that he eats universes that are already dead.

And at long last we have the Troll Empress/Batterwitch/Condesce, a villain with actual goals.

>>61137
You shut your peasantblood mouth
Equius died an honorable death of supreme dignity and class

New friend Geromy nooooo

>>61139
English is definitely a villain, commanding Doc Scratch to orchestrate the destruction of two universes and having the Condesce take over Earth and turn it into a violent shithole and kill the kids' parents (and Ben Stiller). Scratch outright stated he was extremely evil, more so than Jack.

Plus he's a paedo, you know he and Scratch kept the Handmaid locked up so they could molest her.

>>61142
You've struck the nail directly on the head my friend. This comic needs more rape, for DEEPness purposes. Sure we had Mindfang raping someone 'onscreen' as it were and said character mentioned as being reduced to a sex slave for many after her capture, but it could easily go DEEPer than that.

>>61143
We got Karkat's description of how the Horrorterrors interact with characters inside dream bubbles.

>>61144
holy shit now I feel so much worse for all the dead trolls

>>61145
CG: NO WAY. A PAIR OF FEISTY GOGETTERS LIKE YOU AND ME, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR DREAMS OF HORRORTERRORS FONDLING EVERY RECESS OF OUR NAKED PSYCHES, PLEASANT THOUGH THEY ARE.

Don't worry, it's just mind rape.

>>61146
maybe Feferi got the horrorterrors to stop mindfucking them when she had the dream bubbles set up during her first nap

>>61147
Somehow I doubt Fef see's it as a negative thing, she'd likely enjoy it if anything...

>>61148
maybe she told them to stop raping everyone except Eridan

that way she could finally help him fill his quadrants. It's the reason Eridan is the only dead troll whose dreamghostself we haven't seen

>>61142
somehow I feel like doc scratch's inappropriate interactions with young girls are less due to sexual inclinations on his part and more due to the dharma he inherited from li'l cal (that is, pleasure found in making children feel uneasy and unsafe)

>>61136
it's worth noting that the beta kids will be there too

>>61150
Davesprite and Jade could be forced to intervene between Dirk and Jake/their denizens. Since Roxy seems to be messing around the Furthest Ring it's possible the other (dead) characters who know the Denizens' true nature (Tavros, Vriska, Alt-John) might be involved too. We still don't know how exactly Tavros interacted with Typheus, and he's the only one who seems to have actually made the correct choice regarding his denizen. Also Vriska having to convince a human (most likely Jake) to avoid killing someone would be an interesting reversal.

Maybe Roxy might end up relaying the information from Tavros/Alt-John to the others instead. Roxy seems like the least corrupted of the Alpha players, as well as the most cautious, and thus the least likely to charge in and blast Nix/Nyx without putting the decision to her mad rigors first. Rose on the other hand is the most violent and grimdark of the Beta kids and the most likely to kill her denizen.

>>61142
English is a pimp and likes adult women. As a "younger" English, Scratch likes younger girls.

>>61155
>We still don't know how exactly Tavros interacted with Typheus, and he's the only one who seems to have actually made the correct choice regarding his denizen.
Pretty sure Vriska mentioned he didn't even confront Typheus.
Kanaya had some interaction with Echidna, though. Since she seemed very eager to help Jade even before the r>>61155
equest to TAKE US WITH YOU, I don't think Kanaya killed her, even if they weren't able to strike a deal.
>Rose on the other hand is the most violent and grimdark of the Beta kids and most likely to kill her Denizen.
Well, I think that depends. Rose was willing to use whatever means to find a way to break the game. If Cetus tried to exchange information with her or strike some sort of beneficial deal which didn't waste too much time, she would definitely co-operate. But if Cetus attacked first and/or didn't give her an offer, Rose probably wouldn't hesitate.

>Roxy seems the least corrupted of the Alpha players
It's kinda funny. Out of the Beta kids, Rose was the one chosen by the Horrorterrors and she was the most violent and destructive. In the Alpha session, Roxy is the one chosen by the Horrorterrors, and yet she's only one of them who *isn't* corrupted or influenced by the Condesce or Crocker (keep in mind that Lil' Cal is the ecto-father of Lord English himself). I think that should tell us something about the Horrorterrors.

>>61160
I've been of the opinion for a while now that the Horrorterrors' agenda is cross-purposes with both Skaia and Lord English. So it makes some sense that they'd take the contrarian position to whoever seems to be on top of the propaganda game in any given session.

>>61162
Pretty much. The Horrorterrors are locked in an eternal battle against Skaia and BSlick, but Lord English is... worse. He doesn't really give a damn and attacks/kills/eats both sides indiscriminately. Since Skaia doesn't seem to be a sentient organism (it's more like a bubble of possibilities which mutates to satisfy paradox space) and Bilious Slick is just a huge frog, it relies on its players to win the battle. But once English turns up and sabotages the game so that he can devour the dead universe left behind, neither Skaia nor the Horrorterrors can win. Just look at the result of the Trolls' session: they were able to create a new universe (which the Horrorterrors don't want), but it was sick and couldn't possibly bear a new universe (which Skaia doesn't want) and also resulted in Jack Noir becoming a significant threat to both sides. Meanwhile, English gets two dead universes to feast on and there's another one in the making (soon).

Kind of hard to talk allegiances here since we don't really know exact motivation of all these cosmic forces.

>>61165
We still don't know the motivation of some of the existing characters.
Who is UU and is she evil? Is Jane under the Condesce's mind control? Why did Aradia stop Karkat from ascending? Is Jake related to Lord English?

>>61163
Except according to Doc Scratch, the danger Lord English poses is a "known quality, sanctioned by paradox space"

He seems to imply that Lord English is just part of the system, less of a wild card and more of a systematic disposal unit that goes around getting rid of universes that have been written off by both the Horrorterrors and Skaia, either because he's "already there", or for some other ephemeral reason we can't understand. He clearly doesn't have as much power or influence as the Horrorterrors, or the resources that Skaia and BSlick have, but he's a player in the same arena nonetheless.

Jack is the true wildcard; he has the power to destroy universes and he uses it whenever and on whatever he pleases, something that both the Horrorterrors *and* Skaia & BSlick have reason to fear.

So I think I might be missing something, but why do people think the troll ancestors have different classes from the trolls? It's often agreed that they have the same aspects, which makes sense considering various reasons like Nepeta's ancestor getting the Sufferer's heart, and Darkleer having an ability like a void power.
The reason I'm wondering is because I thought the classes were similarly implied in the text. The Condesce is outright called the Batterwitch, along with Mindfang calling Feferi "another little witch" (which implies Feferi's not the only one), and even Doc Scratch words her servitude to Lord English by saying, "The Condesce will serve as her new master's witch."
Aradia's ancestor is called the Handmaid, Sollux's ancestor is described as "a mage of unequaled telekinetic ability", and we even have a possible hilarious pun of when Mindfang is writing in her journal about the Summoner and she says "I will commit to this page my highest expect8tions."
There might even be more, too. So I was just wondering why everyone thinks the trolls and their ancestors have different titles? Is it because the kids and their guardians have different titles...?

>>61088
>Should we be expecting Triangle and Sine soon?
Maybe we'll see Lowpass and Aftertouch.

>>61170
>So I was just wondering why everyone thinks the trolls and their ancestors have different titles? Is it because the kids and their guardians have different titles...?
Yeah pretty much.

>>61149
I seriously doubt that's the reason, but it is interesting that we haven't seen him yet.

>>61174
it was
a motherfucking
joke

Update, Dirk's fetch modus revealed and another And It Don't Stop reference

>Cat
>Hat
>Bat
>no orange
HA

I just know that the "orange" aspect of those sodas are going to come back and bite him somehow in the future, at the worst possible time.

So his groove rows seem to be:
row 1: weapons
row 2: dolls
row 3: orange soda
row 4: bro stuff
row 5: vacant

My life is complete

>>61186
If Brobot doesn't eat all babies of the human race, I am quitting Homestuck.

>>61186
Let's get creative!

>>61186
I don't get it...

> He patented the technology for producing THREE DIMENSIONAL JPEG ARTIFACTS, to make products shittier than was ever previously imaginable.

Dave, look at your life, look at your choices.

>>61192
I think it's a refrance to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5okcdSFQdso

>>61192
Oh dear.
Homestuck- The Baby is You: vs bros
Forbidden rhymes, around 30 something seconds in.


Unrelated but... who the fuck loves orange soda? BRO LOVES ORANGE SODA.

>>61196
These updates have me craving for some orange soda. Nut that all the stores are closed in my area at this time.

>>61197
Coincidentally, a little after I read the update, my brother returned home, and handed off to me one of those Walgreens branded orange sodas. (He kept the cola) I definitely recommend orange soda, it's so deliciously tangy. But be careful! Too much orange can cause heart pulpitations...

>>61190
That'll be a great ectobiology session.

>>61186
>>61195
What kind of person even remembers that kind of callback

>>61200
tbh I had to google it to know what the other poster was talking about

>>61200
The kind that has The Baby is You on their MSPA playlist. Get on my level.

Did someone call this earlier? Definitely sounds familiar.

>>61208
it was pretty much described in the chatlog with Jane

so I guess this is the part where we see DD or HB or whoever attack Dirk and get killed

>>61209
Of course judging by the latest SBaHJ, it might be a white pawn that attacks him. What if Lord English sent someone to usurp Prospit's leadership as well? Dirk might just have killed Alpha PM.

>>61208
So does this mean that Jack took the photo with a camera that looks like a knife or...?

>>61211
i like to think that he set up a tripod and camera just so he could make sure everyone who read the newspaper would know exactly who did it, and that he did it in a particularly cold-blooded and hardboiled fashion

he couldn't get that angle if he was holding the camera himself

>>61212
or maybe the Condesce/BQ took a screencap using Trollian and the viewport feature

it would explain how the tabloid photo got printed so quick

>>61213
That's wrong by default because it's substantially less funny than the tripod idea.

>>61211
>>61212
>>61213
It appears the class needs a lesson on Weapon/Object Duality.

>>61215
Alpha Jack is using a Warchest like SS, so his knife's double is probably a card, like everything else in the deck.

>>61210
You know, I wouldn't put it past Hussie to intentionally make one SBaHJ comic parallel the events of the comic, just so everybody starts freaking out and thinking that the secrets of Homestuck are imbedded in every comic.

>>61217
I thought we were already at the point of freaking out thinking that the secrets of Homestuck are imbedded in every comic.

>>61223
I thought we'd been a that point since like, the fifth sbahj comic.

I want a t-shirt with a hat printed on it.

>>61210
anyone else notice what the lines in the toilet look like in the last panel?

Anyone notice the pawn looks like a penis in the next to next to last panel?

>>61231
it's symbolic that even if Eridan becomes relevant to the story again, he will never score