Doctor Foster went to Gloucester,
In the middle of the night.

He tripped face first into some shit,
For the nightsky wasn't very well lit.

He'd only return when the sky was sunny,
For shit on one's face is not very funny.

"Bubba, nigger,
My cottonpicker.
Have you my wool?"

"Yessir masser,
three bags full."

"One for you masser,
One for your dame,
And one for your lil boy,
So don give me the cane!"

Little faggot Tommy Tucker,
He sucked dicks for his supper.

Tommy was simply a real disgrace,
So they shot him right in his face.

Then another round to the head,
Just to be sure the gay was dead.

"We don't need no homos round here!
Now that's done, let's grab some beer!".

Georgie Porgie, drunk and high,
Raped the girls and made them cry.

When the cops came his way
Georgie Porgie ran away.

Little Miss Muffet,
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.

Spider on neck,
Venom inject,
Next, she passed away.

That wasn't the end!
There came a friend,
Her corpse he wanted to screw.

Spider on neck,
Venom inject,
Now the grave had two.

This little Arab bombed a market.
This little Arab bombed a home.
This little Arab bombed a plane.
This little Arab bombed none.

Thus that last little Arab did not get 72 virgins.

As I was going by Charing Cross,
I saw a white man upon a white horse;

A member of the Ku-Klux-Clan,
He dragged behind him a beaten man.

When he hung him from a tree,
Charing Cross was nigger-free.

Well ?

I'll be honest, out of those examples, only >>36940 and >>36944 stand out as publishable (or humorous for that matter). Publishing it nationally isn't a bad thing, but if these examples are any indication it probably won't catch on save for a certain demographic or two.

One question though, how exactly are you marketing this book? Because I don't see anybody glancing at it unless it's intentionally tongue-in-cheek.

>>36957

Exactly. I'm trying with the humor, but my sick mind descends into vulgarity. Which is obvious from the title: "Sick Nursery Rhymes - Classic Nursery Rhymes shoved up your mother's ass and shat onto paper."

I was thinking gift book in the humor department. I got the inspiration from "The fuck book". Basically, a guy went cross country, placed a sign saying FUCK in various locations, took a picture, and made a book. Stuff like "Caution "Fuck" ahead" or "Fresh paint, do not "fuck"" or ""Fuck" till 9PM". If a guy can publish rubbish like this... well...

Thx for the feedback. Bro

What about:

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and daily beat her.
He kept her in a filthy cell,
And did not treat her very well.

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a daughter but didn't love her.
So Peter bought a baseball bat,
And smashed her brains in with a "WHACK!"

>>36961
You had something with the second part but it loses rhythm with that last rhyme

>>36961
with a SPLAT.

come on.

>>36964
I'm guessing you mean the break in rythm in
Had a daughter but didn't love her.

Actually the original goes
Had another and didn't love her.