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No. 46033
Lori sighed as she lay in bed. What was wrong with her? She had helped Serenity through a rough patch in her relationship with God and now Serenity was back to the being the little bundle of blue haired energy Lori and the rest of the Prayer Club had known. So why did Lori still feel miserable? She saw Serenity at her worst: the color drained from her hair much like the spirit and zest for life had been drained from her very being. It made Lori miserable. Seeing her friend reduced to that state, trying to be something she wasn't... and it was all Lori's fault! It was, wasn't it? She's the one who told Serenity that the group loved her but didn't like her, the one who gave her advice that ultimately led her down the path herself and Sally had to help bring her back from.
It pained Lori so much to see Serenity like that. This wasn't the girl who had caught her attention on the first day of school, the girl she had many late night chat sessions about faith with. The girl that she... Lori sat up in bed. The girl that she what? The girl that she... no. No not that. Those thoughts were there once more, the thoughts she had been taught by her parents, by Pastor Calvin, by the word of God itself that would make her shunned. An outcast. A sinner with an express ticket to Hell.
She sat up in bed remembering what Sally had told Serenity; that God doesn't want you to not be you. Actively suppressing that energy, that spunkiness, that quality that made Serenity Serenity had turned the poor girl into a moping, dour shell. And Lori realized that she was no better. Were Sally's words right? Would God want her to be who she truly was It was a part of her that had become impossible to ignore since meeting Serenity. It was a part of her she could no longer ignore. It was a part of her she had to confront.
She looked at the alarm clock: 9:17 PM. Not particularly late plus it was a Friday. Serenity wouldn't mind right? Lori grabbed her phone and looked through her contacts list until she found Serenity's cell number and gave her a call.
She arrived at Serenity's house not long afterwards. She had told Serenity she had things she needed to talk to her about. Things she had needed to get off her chest. Serenity, perhaps showing a bit of wisdom, suggested Lori come over and stay the night so they could talk at length about what was bothering her in a way that was more in-depth than a simple phone call, online chat or even a visit. It was a bit of a sell to Lori's parents but they relented.
She was pleasently surprised to see Serenity greet her at the door and invite her back to her room. She was glad Lori called, she said. Her mom was working late and she had nothing to do so she was feeling a bit bored. As they sat on the bed in Serenity's room Serenity looked at her with those large, soulful eyes. Eyes so full of light, of life... of love. She asked what it was Lori wanted to talk about.
Lori, almost as if unable to control herself, began spilling her guts about the things she had said to Serenity. About the things she and the rest of the Prayer Club had done to her. That she knows she had hurt Serenity and caused her pain and grief and that it was a feeling that still haunted her. Serenity just laughed and shook her head. Lori had nothing to worry about, she told her. She knew that when she truly needed it Lori had been there for her. The past is the past and what's done is done. Serenity had to experience the lowest of lows to emerge a better person and with the help of her faith and her friends she knew she would be able to do it.
Lori breathed a sigh of relief happy that Serenity felt no ill will towards her. But there was something else she needed to talk about, she said. It was about feelings she was having for another person. Feelings she was having trouble denying. Serenity perked up at this. Who was the lucky guy, she asked? Was it someone from their group? Another boy at school? Ooooh maybe it was some hunky college boy!
Lori laughed but shook her head. No no, this was nobody that they knew, no other boy at school, not even a college boy. It was feelings that she had learned to repress. Feelings that she was told would get her in trouble. But much like Serenity, she realized that some times you have to walk through Hell to reach Heaven. That you could be yourself while still living your life in service to Him.
"I think... no, I KNOW I'm in love, Serenity." Lori stated, firm in her belief. "Serenity Harper, I'm in love with YOU."
Serenity was taken aback. Had she heard her friend right? She was in love with... HER? Lori noticed Serenity's reaction and blushed furiously. Had she messed up? Had she ruined her relationship with Serenity? She apologized profusely to Serenity but to her surprise the girl just started to laugh. That was it? THAT was her big secret?
Lori didn't understand. She wasn't uncomfortable? She wasn't surprised? Serenity shrugged her shoulders. People are gay. It happens. She knew gay people back in L.A. She'd even experimented a few times herself during her wilder days. It was Lori's turn to be taken aback. To drop such a thing so casually... was Serenity really this brazen? And what about Derek she asked. Serenity waved the question off. Derek was exclusive, she knew that, and she knew that getting over him was the first step towards getting on good terms with Kimberly.
But what about... what about what the revelation, Lori asked? She was sure Serenity was straight and if she was it would be alright but it was something Lori had to tell her. She had to come to terms with it. Serenity just shrugged. She'd experimented with girls, never said whether those experiments were successful or not. This didn't change things between them, however.
Serenity grabbed the remote and flipped the TV on to one of the movie channels. A goofy romantic comedy. It'd make good background noise. She laid her head on Laurie's chest and smiled. It didn't change anything between them for now. In the future though who knows? You've got me, I've got you and we've got each other she said with a yawn, her eyes slowly closing.
Lori smiled. Serenity was right. Whether friends or whether more the two of them had each other and that was good enough for Lori to know that she had done the right thing. That God truly did love her for who she was.
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