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No. 390884
>>390854 Then what are you actually really saying here? "It's okay to kick them in the dick if they are intending to rape you"? That's not exactly a revelation, man. In the original example, any potential threat was diffused by the woman in question recognizing a potential threat and saying "no", negating any need for any of your proposed solutions.
I'm assuming what you believe because of what you posted and how you presented it. The original problem is "harassment in an elevator", and from there you jumped to defense training. While defense training on its' own is never a bad idea, the problem is that we've jumped from "accosting women you don't know in public spaces is rude, wrong and creepy" to "she should've just kicked his ass if he tried anything".
You've completely side-stepped the original issue and moved straight on to the idea that she should just defend herself. I don't think anyone who finds themselves in such a situation would find that idea radical. I think they might find the idea of a rape being a stand-up fight you can approach head on to be not true to reality at all, but all of this is actually besides the point, and the real problem.
Why do you think it was okay for this guy to follow her into the elevator? Why is everyone reacting so negatively to the notion that him asking her back to his room on such a short time frame was technically harassment? These are questions you have not answered, and have implied, through your postings, that she should have gone straight back with him, and if anything happened, like him surprising her by clocking her in the back of the head with a lamp or something, she should have just defended herself, even though she was unconscious. By what you are posting and the points you are defending, you are implying that her refusal to put herself in potential harms way was less of a defense than physical violence. And there's a logical disconnect there.
I conflated your posts with the posts from the other guys' because you two share a common argument, one which you defended: "what that guy did was not harassment". I am extrapolating, because yours is an argument that has been presented before in other places and other contexts, and it has fallacies. Violence begets violence and truly violent offenders don't have to leave you in one piece. If you start fighting back, they have all the more reason to be even more brutal, to prevent you from getting to help before they've had a chance to have their way. No amount of self-defense training is ever going to truly prepare someone for that situation, especially if, statistically, it's a relative or an acquaintance.
Why is the guy who followed her not in the wrong here? Because he is actually in the wrong, and her response was completely appropriate. So why is everyone so adamant to say that she somehow acted not in her best interests? "Legally, it wasn't harassment, and he didn't DO anything", while technically correct, ignores the whole fact of his actions driving her to make a decision for her personal safety. Regardless of his actual character, regardless of his actual intent, when he followed her into the elevator and propositioned her to go somewhere away from public eyes, away from security cameras and witnesses and friends, alarm bells set off in her head. That is a completely normal and rational reaction to someone you just met five minutes ago directly asking you if you want to be alone with them. This is especially true if you've been sexually assaulted or had to deal with sexual assault at a previous point in your life, which, if you're a woman, is actually extremely likely.
Look, I'm extrapolating because I do get where you're coming from, and it's a place of noble intent and a little outrage that this whole debate has really blown up into a battle of the sexes. But you're prescribing a solution that is not actually for this problem. Telling people that they can attack people who are assaulting them is noble, but it's not exactly revolutionary. And the problem ere isn't even "rape"; the problem is that, in our hypotethical-that-happened, a random person on the street says "no" to going off alone with someone they almost literally just met. You and at least one other person in this thread thought that that peson who said "no" was crazy. You didn't see anything wrong with propositioning some random person on the street, and saw everything wrong with them when they, like a sane person, said "no" to the proposition. You then post a link essentially arguing that "she should have gone along with this proposition because she could've just beat this persons' ass if they tried anything". You've jumped the question away from the actual problem; you assume you're in the right to go up to anyone and ask them to do something risky, and then blame them if they identify that risk and step away from the situation. And I get it, that's personally angering: You're not a bad person. Why would anyone say "no" to you over anything? But the person you're talking to? They don't know you from Saddam.
The weird thing is, while what the guy did was creepy, he could've diffused a lot of the creep factor by asking to meet her in a public place. Following her into the elevator, even accosting her in public and trying to get her alone without really getting the sense from her that she'd like that, that was still creepy, but trying to get her alone is what pushed it over the edge. It's still creepy, but it would've been less so if the intent, and his inability to recognize her discomfort, weren't so clear.
The problem isn't rape. The problem is "why do so many men believe they can whistle at women o the sidewalk?". Why is it okay to butt into someones' work or leisure space in a coffee shop and say "I can see you're doing something, that is clearly a cry for someone to bother you"? Why do you feel this woman was obligated to follow this guy to his hotel room, and then that it was her obligation to defend herself if he attacked her, when she made the much more strategically sound decision of never following him in the first place?
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