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No. 386907
>>386878
Have you ever masturbated? Because that requires no attachment whatsoever. And aside from the potential of creating a child, sex as a mechanical action is not really difficult or more complex than some people's masturbation habits.
"Attachment" is a difficult term because it doesn't encompass the full range of possibilities. If you're attached to someone, have you initiated a relationship based on superficial influence and initial assumptions, have you been thrust into a situation of co-dependence with them, or do you just have a deep fancy for them that may or may not be acknowledged/reciprocated?
Now when you talk about the history of sex, or rather, sex throughout history, you'll find that that has largely been what has occurred. Sex is of course required to make children, but we also find historical Pornography. There have been Brothels throughout history, Prostitution is referred to as "The World's Oldest Profession", the Marquis de Sade dreamed about more sexual exploits than your average 4chan reject while having children with absolutely none of their fathers' rampant lusts. Shakespear wrote sex jokes. So did Chaucer. Granted, sex is not as pervasive as modern porn would make it seem. But after perusing Deviantart, Tumblr, Instagram, Fanfiction.net, hell even Facebook and Twitter, it seems really clear in abstract that the desires of most people tend towards emotional and physical intimacy.
People place all kinds of strange barriers on this stuff for strange reasons though. We say we won't have sex until the second date, or third. We say we won't get married until after we've been with someone for a set amount of time. I've seen people run off after a year of hooking up to get hitched only to watch the messy divorce the next year. I have seen people touch genitals once and "fall in love" teenagers who think high school will be the defining moment of their life, mostly, or recently married virgins, and I have seen functional relationships that worked great that had nothing to do with love or marriage. I have definitely touched genitals with a few people and I have found few of the experiences to actually result in "love", "attachment", or even "friendship" afterwards.
It's because people have varying views (and sexualities) when it comes to relationships, but it's also because a lot of them have been fed misinformation and are fearful, or unknowledgeable about what makes a healthy relationship and just how much sex should be a part of that. Married people on average have more sex than single people, especially happily married people. And I personally find sexual intimacy to be a very good barometer for how the relationship will go.
The correct answer for when you should sleep with someone has nothing to do with a date or a timeframe. It has to do with "attachment", with Trust, and the stability of that trust in your intimate partner. The only sex that occurs without a relationship is rape, and even then, statistically you're more likely to know your rapist than not. But trying to draw a relationship out to figure out whether or not you'll be compatible, whether or not the relationship is somehow more "meaningful" protip: they're all meaningful, even the brief ones is more a recipe for heartache, drama and disaster than it is for "success" defined in this instance as a long-term relationship.
I'm not saying you should fuck on the first date, or not use protection, but you'll tend to know pretty fast whether you're more or less compatible on a personal or sexual level with someone (Conversation and flirting tend to be strong indicators). Knowing whether you work with someone on a personal and sexual level faster tends to be a little better because it allows you to say "no" faster especially to a relationship that looks really good on paper. There's also the issue of so-called Casanovas like myself, though I'd argue that my favorite partners would be ones with a similar inclination, and to better define what you want both sexually and out of a relationship. Granted, I understand that this doesn't work for everyone, but it's very functional for people like myself and I think for most humans. Delaying that interaction until you're sure is a wise decision, but if it's taking a very long time to make up your mind then I would wager you've made a decision, you're just not letting yourself admit it, probably for several very good reasons. It's like finding out your husband is a wife beater on the Honeymoon. I'm more in favor of knowing the person, especially if you're going to be together like that.
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