I hate funding issues. I hate hate hate needing to get my own funding all the time. I hate it.

Can someone just give me a project I love that doesn't require me to fund it? Can I just work for Tony Stark?

>>385171
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elon_Musk

>>385177
just like this yeah

http://stephentstone.tumblr.com/post/63009991620/what-i-want-to-do

Yaaaaay slightly optimistic personal bullshittery~

i went to buy a brand new completely superfluous motor vehicle but they didn't have the colour i wanted so i have to wait a whole damn week for it to get delivered from the factory

#thefirstworldestoffirstworldproblems

ugh i hate female logic sometimes, apparently she did a test and im an "oak" while she's a "redwood" and we need to break up.

>>385185
words not matching the underlying content. maybe she was just looking for an excuse that could be put into words the things she doesn't fully understand within herself.

that blows, bro.

>>385186
Yeah but it's like, come to that conclusion yourself. Do not bury yourself in reams of bullshit in order to tell someone "I just don't feel like fucking/dealing with you anymore". "We should break up because this magazine says we're different types of trees" makes it sound like they're retarded, literally and figuratively. Own your emotion if it's that fucking important.

>>385147
so tired of tumblrer shit

people actually refusing to acknowledge their own issues. I think I AM okay, therefore I am PERFECT and anyone who criticizes me is a BIGOT like wtf do they ever sit and honestly self-reflect or interact in large social groups that aren't their own self-affirming friends or at least take some drugs that will break down their self-perception wtf wtf wtf

i'm obese as fuck and have three bellies but I LOVE MYSELF IM TOTALLY HEALTHY

i have severe issues interacting with other humans, not because I have actual brain problems but because i have been trained to mask all of my self-doubt with overwhelming self-approval SOCIETY IS THE PROBLEM, NOT ME

i slapped someone for using the word 'chick' TRUE FIGHTERS FOR THE REVOLUTION, YEP

i'm a proud feminist to the point that i'm just too awesome for all these beta males i date, therefore i call them 'pussy' and 'bitch' and 'cunt' to make them feel shitty, STRONG WOMEN UNITE

i mean, i see enough 14 year olds on tumblr. today even more so than ever young adults are living at home, trapped in a college bubble, spending their free time on the internet. constantly surrounded by affirmation, approval, agreement. they just don't fucking know how to deal with other people. they don't understand viewpoints, cultural ramifications, anything at all. it is so baffling to me.

>>385194
this may sound like im talking shit about feminists but i am not; these are even women i fucking know who twist it so badly they damage feminism

some of them are even like 'well black women need to stop being so slutty THEN they will get respect' I mean jesus fucking cockrags how do you even

>>385146
the fuck this is a terrible situation

is there no evidence, testimony from your niece (which she might not even be able to give) nothing at all to let the court know he molested her?

does the court know at all?

i hate to say it, but i am glad my junkie aunt and her junkie boyfriend are dead because they cannot fuck up their daughters life anymore. the boyfriend used to put his fingers inside of the FUCKING INFANT TWO-MONTH OLD BABY, because he had unsupervised visiting rights. Fuck that shit.

>>385194
Kind of reminds me of the bubble I grew up in tbqh

Socialization is learned, it isn't innate.

>>385197
>is there no evidence
Literally everyone whose job it was to find that shit out except
1.) the first nurse we saw, who we may not be able to get as a witness
and 2.) the psychologist she saw
fucked up HORRIBLY. Like, to the extent that even though one child-services worker(or whatever they're called, I don't wanna name organizations) was a witness for him, vouching that he didn't do it, our attorneys poked so many holes into her case that even HIS attorney has started throwing her under the bus when the opportunity presents itself, presumably to try and make it seem as though the worker was just one super shitty witness instead of making it seem as though all their witnesses have different stories (which they do). The worker left looking like she was having war flashbacks, our attorneys grilled her for 7 hours.
I've told my family that if the ex had any money I'd SWEAR he was paying people off. That many people don't just all spontaneously fuck up and make up blatant lies and falsify records and reports all at once by sheer coincidence. It is fishy as FUCK, but he's hella poor so idk.
>testimony from your niece
Well she's 4 so I don't know if they'd accept her on the stand, but even if they did, it was over a year ago and she's just now getting to be happy and peaceful again, we don't want to stir shit up with her again. She doesn't know what's going on with us at the moment.
We do have the aforementioned psychologist as well as her guardian ad litem who will be testifying for her though, both believe her beyond a shadow of a doubt and I'm pretty sure the court recognizes both as experts, as opposed to his witnesses who can't even keep their story straight with the story they gave earlier, much less with each others' stories.
>does the court know at all?
Yes.

>Back in school
>Making friends
>Having an awesome social life with said friends
>No job and broke as shit/In debt
>Mom is still a bitch

Can't win'm all I suppose but man things are pretty good right now.

Every time I'm starting to feel like I'm missing home, the US goes and does something stupid again.

Come on, guys.

So, funny story. On Monday one of my coworkers was operating a forklift when this butterfly barges into the warehouse and shoves itself into his face. He almost crashes the lift and the butterfly goes back outside. Ten minutes later he’s carrying another load on the forklift and this little asshole decides to go for round two, startling him again and almost swerving into the truck. Now the coworker’s pissed off and he gets off the lift and goes into the warehouse, and this glorious tiny bastard just follows him into the building and kept harassing him for twenty before fleeing from a flung two-by-four.

We found him in the back of the warehouse, and he was in bad shape. My inner wiener roars to life and I rescue him from my coworker’s wrath, and take him back outside and lay him among the last of the flowers to give him piece. Five minutes of basking in the sun later and he’s flitting around, joyous for the second chance he was afforded.

Now, two questions. First, what is he? Second, what’s that orange thing on his back?

>>385207
Wow, the spelling errors in that.

i've been focusing all my feelings, my sorrow and joy, into circus stuff and it's confusing the shit out of me because there's this transformation that happens where i feel elevated above it all.
also, the girl who had a strong mutual attraction with me but can't date me because she's been in a relationship practices there too. she's back after the summer. hell she introduced me to the school, and...
i don't know what to do with all these feelings, but i need to make sure that exercise and dance don't become an addiction and that i don't fall back into the bad-times-unrequited-love again.

...

so it turns out we're both somewhat polyamorous and the people we're dating are neither polyamorous nor understanding of polyamory/polysexuality. fun times.

anyway, we're still repairing some real big damage to our friendship a la dick grayson and barbara gordon after a huge nuclear fallout that we had over the summer. we'll see where this goes. hopefully a nice happy and deeply meaningful friendship instead of more danger zone. i'm not looking for trouble.

>>385207
I'm no lepidopterist, but my first thought is that the orange stuff is guts.

>>385211
Maybe it's some sort of egg sac? I'm no expert either but surely not all butterfly species reproduce exactly the same way. Or it could be the work of a parasite.

everyone has that one friend......

>>385218
that you cannot fucking stand to be around when you aren't sober.

>>385218
>>385219
Ha, I don't!

>I'm told to put in any PTO I want to take off on/around Thanksgiving week by September 15th
>I put in the PTO request well before then - I'm the only member of my team with family out of state, so I'm the only one that requested additional time off then, and I'm using up my PTO for the year (we don't get rollover PTO, so it's use it or lose it). I am totally okay with working around Xmas.
>Supervisor tells me he's approved it, but that since it's around a big holiday, higher-ups have to approve it too, but because (again) I'm the only one on my team requesting to use my PTO then, I should get it no problem
>I buy plane tickets, tell my parents I should be good to go
>Two weeks passed
>PTO still isn't approved
>Ask Supervisor about it
>S:"Oh, the higher-ups are trying to forbid anybody in Customer Support Departments from taking PTO between November 1st and December 22nd because they're afraid of understaffing around Thanksgiving."
>Me: "Are there a lot of people on the other team asking for it off?" (note: there are two Customer Support divisions, as the company I work for has been steadily growing and moving from east to west across the country, building/acquiring offices/other businesses).
>S: "Not that I know of; higher-ups are being cautious."
>Me: "They do know that if they refuse to let us use PTO for all of November and most of December that everybody is going to start putting in PTO for October and the very end of the year, thereby creating the understaffing problem they're saying they're trying to avoid, right?"
>S: "I hope they can think that far ahead, honestly."

So...I might be out about $375 for the plane tickets, plus I was going to have early Xmas with friends and family since we're going to be all together on Thanksgiving but spread out over Xmas time, so if I don't go to my parents' for Thanksgiving, I'm going to have to mail everybody their presents...and the cost of shipping is crazy.

I have a serious problem, how do you get a cat to stop loving on you?

Things always get a little weird around fall. I didn't realize it was October already, my birthday/life changing/ego melting/casual psychedelic month. I've been very antisocial, not out of dislike for people but simply because, forget explaining. It is just the season for these things to happen.

>>385222
love it and cuddle it and kiss it and pat his little butt and keep doing so until one of you gets overwhelmed and breaks away

>>385223
paula please pat my butt

>love it and cuddle it and kiss it and pat his little butt and keep doing so until one of you gets overwhelmed and breaks away
Nah, I'm already overwhelmed, but I can't go away, I have to work on my computer.

>>385207
Pretty sure it's a moth, dunno what kind.

>>385222
Bring a cat-hater into the room. The cat will make a beeline for them and leave you alone.

>>385222
I usually either just work around mine, or get her up on my shoulders. I also try to pet her some when she's on the desk but not in front of the monitor, so she knows she doesn't need to be in the way to get attention.

>>385207
Your friend has diabetes breath. My sister and I used to spray ourselves with this acetone/sugar mix and wore yellow shirts if we wanted butterflies to land on us.
At least one of these didn't land on his nose lol.

Oh god, I'm in over my head. Oh god.

>>385207
This is a mourning cloak (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nymphalis_antiopa). I don't know what that orange thing on its back is. It may be a fungus or tumour. Whatever it is, it's an abnormality that I've never seen before.

>>385226
The goal is to overwhelm and smother the cat.
>>385224
patpatpat

well goddammit i'm single and ready to satanist-mingle
whoever's next in line, please step forward.

strange people doing strange things. my boyfriend's little brother likes to get alone with me and look me in the eyes and tell me I'm beautiful. I am just waiting for it to wear off, but sometimes he goes a little further and hugs turn into cuddles turn into butt touching. I don't want to be an asshole to someone with as many emotional/relationship/women issues as he has, but he knows I fucking love his brother and the earth's molten core will freeze over before I ditch my man to go frolic with him. Except he takes that all and goes 'wow, such an amazing lady of integrity, let me worship you more' buddy, you don't even know.

I worry about the people I care about; especially the ones who just throw all their deep issues out there for you to see. One of the things I am still getting over from my childhood is that I am actually not responsible for everyone's mental health and I do not need to play therapist and peacemaker all the time. But I just can't tell people to 'fuck off'.

>>385240
aw

>>385246

Have we had this discussion before? I remember this story. Either that or I can see into the future.

>>385247
yes, we have. its an ongoing thing and i am still at an impasse

>>385248
scrub. people can't handle their shit.


...

also thanks for your feels.

I karaoke'd with my little sister. We got tacos.

I apologize in advance, but I guess I don't really have anyone to talk to about this anymore.
It's becoming easier and easier to convince myself that I don't deserve to live.
I guess that's kind of a stupid way to put it because I don't know that anyone deserves life or death more than anyone else, but I don't know how else to say it.
It doesn't feel like depression or sadness or anything, it isn't me just being moody. It feels like completely rational thought processes that all lead back to "if karma or dharma or whatever the one that affects you while you're still alive were real, I would've been killed by now" or "I'd be doing people an actual favor by offing myself."
I wouldn't, but still. I just feel like I'm too shitty a person to warrant continued existence. I try to improve, but everyone tells me that doesn't matter, that I haven't changed, that I'm still shitty and selfish and full of complaints. I'd like to be able to disregard what others say and form my own opinion of myself, but it's incredibly difficult when it seems like it's all you ever hear. The family wants me gone, all of the family. The extended family practically excommunicated us, and when the close family gets upset with me, which is very frequently, they remind me that I'm the odd one out and that I'm just a burden and that they're looking forward to the day I move across the country. The ex reminds me regularly that I only care about myself and reminds me of how awful I am, then tells me she doesn't think I'm awful, then tells me that whenever she takes back the things she says about me it's only to pacify me, then tells me she was being honest when she said I wasn't awful, then tells me she's never forgiven me and that I have never changed and so I don't deserve forgiveness, and I don't know what the fuck is going on there. I guess my bros don't put me down all the time. One in particular seems actually happy to see me every time I talk to him, not just in a "oh hello a friend" way, but like he actually genuinely enjoys me specifically, which kind of makes me really happy, but maybe that's just how he is with everyone.
Good thing I'm talking to a doctor on Thursday I guess. Wish me luck in getting my brain fixed.

>>385251
i hear you, friend.

>>385252
Thank you.

>>385251
Why would you even continue associating with your ex if she acts that way?

>>385251
Wow, your life is full of problems. My life is greater for having you in it, but that's not really helpful.

>>385128
Yeah dude its amazing.
Fucking Aztecs opressed every fucking village they had near 'em.

Its why the small places gathered up against them alongside the spanish while they weren't dying of pox n' shit.

I work in a call center that requires that when people call, that we verify certain points of info as a security measure. Just now I had another call from a miserable filthy bleeding cunt of a woman who wouldn't do this and was being a complete bitch about it. She was the second such woman I dealt with today, meaning things have been incredibly slow. I can't even begin to count how many of these fucking calls I get during the weekeday. In fact, we get a lot of calls from people who are irate about getting a call from us because so much of our data is outdated or flat out wrong. It's not just frustrating, it's enraging...

>>385273
> continued...
For the most part our bosses are completely clueless about such data errors, even though they've been reoccuring for literally almost two years now. That or they seem to think nothings wrong and we're just not doing this right. This is a circular argument that we, the phone-drones, have been having our clueless shithead bosses for a long time now. And worse than that, the people involved with promoting our company's little endeavor know fuck all about what it is that we're actually doing on the phone, despite the fact that it's our service they're ultimately trying to promote.

>>385273
>>385274

tl;dr
My job sucks and people are fuckwits. Anyone else wanna trade workplace war stories?

>>385275
Well me, I was gonna work in a call centre and it was really cool cos the recruiting guy had this cool New York Cosmos jacket. And we kinda shot the shit during the questions and stuff and I was asked to speak english and I was a native speaker and stuff so we then shot the shit in english.

And then the next inteviewing lady was super serious and hated me cos I kinda stuttered at the 'do you have a tattoo' question, and said the monthly pay plus taxes would be, like 150USD.

Before that I had this nice job at a quiet sneaker store at the mall and it was always empty and I quit for school but that was shitty and then I discoverred the place shut down.

Thats
my only 'not freelance' work experience.

....
...sorry

Just wondering, Youtube captioning and annotations haven't been working on anything I've watched in months. Are other people having this problem or is it just me?

>>385273
>>385274
>>385275
I actually work on a team one removed from a call center in tech support. Our call center doesn't actually do much real "tech support", they're just a switchboard to get people to the right groups to get the thing the caller wanted. But, since most of the time it seems like they have no training in real tech diagnosis, getting relevant information or even verifying the customers' identity, they just push it to my team to deal with 95% of the time, because we don't have time limits on our phone calls.

This issue is expounded by the fact that our knowledge management system is ancient and proprietary and we won't get anything up-to-date or free (like a wiki). So while there is a core of processes that are up-to-date and relevant, it is only updated by a select group of team leads, who are busy with more important shit most of the time, leaving most of the rest of the team in the lurch if those select people aren't on. Which puts us in the awkward position of having to contact the user and ask if they have exact names for the things they want accomplished, not shorthand names. Which is garbage and unprofessional and humiliating and frustrating. The customers barely seem to know what we do most of the time, and to turn around and ask them what exactly they're talking about because there isn't an article in our database makes it seem like we don't know what we're doing, when we simply don't know what they're asking.

Something with a universal edit/revert system, an actual discussion page for articles and some super user abilities would be wonderful and fix just about every problem with clarity of process and explicitness of requests. The company chose to make its' own internal facebook (that nobody uses) rather than give us a competent knowledge management system. That one fix would solve most of my team's issues and clear up a lot of issues for other teams.

I'm describing more of this here than I've ever descried on any social network, ever. I consider the company to be my client, and I take client privacy very seriously, and never talk about what I do or who I work for on any platform that can be easily traced back to myself. But I am seriously ready to quit even without another job lined up. Shit is that bad and it just seems like it's getting worse.

We're slowly being middle-managed to death by those well meaning business-degree holders trying desperately to make up for business' schools' stark inability to teach anything resembling real leadership and functional work ethics. We've recently had to schedule our lunch and smoke breaks (which is fucking ridiculous in I.T.), because apparently "productivity is down". And this has nothing to do with the fact that most of the teams on my floor seem to be dealing with continual disasters for accounts, for which good process and delivered expertise do not seem to be factors. It also seems like this decision might have come in the spur of the moment, as if the ones responsible only looked at a single days' worth of activity to arrive at that conclusion (which, if they looked at it on Friday, yes, productivity is down. It's called nearly the weekend).

What's killer is that when I arrived, it seemed like a really great job. I had a lot of personal freedom at work, I wasn't constrained in my breaks or my lunch, I could even make use of reaction pics on the company network, so long as I kept it professional around clients and higher-ups. But as it's gone on, my freedom has been restricted and I've come to understand that the tools are inadequate, but trying to change that is trying to push a boulder up a hill.

its officia, this is no longer my house

its not even "our" house any more

its my sisters fucking house and i'm just crashing here

>>385307
Didn't we find a solution to situations like this a few threads ago?

>there is exactly one internet service provider who covers our house
>the bill just went from $30 to $50 a month for basic internet

>>385311

Welcome to the wonderful world of telco monopolies.

>>385311
'MERICA

>>385254
I'm sure you could ask thousands of people that question without getting a really satisfying answer.
I guess my answer is "I don't want to throw away a relationship with so much history over some fairly recent issues." Same reason you don't instantly excommunicate a friend when they start having some sort of issue with you.
>>385268
Even if it doesn't directly solve any problems, it's comforting to know. Thank you, Larry.
>>385311
Comcast is several times faster than my ISP for the same price.
Comcast's wiring also stops about 20 feet from my house and they're very uninterested in extending it.

>>385308
...we did? i guess history repeats

meanwhile pregnancy scare 2: electric boogaloo is in full swing

>>385322

If it ever crosses your mind that humans aren't capable ANYTHING you just think about this.

You just think about how we will literally tear the face bones out of a Rhino and leave it alive to die or live.

If it is for gain people can do anything.

>>385322
Eat your room mate

>>385325
... That's not something to be proud of. That's TERRIBLE. People who do that should have all their digits removed, one by one.

>>385329
i believe tiki was talking about how humans are capable of horrific acts and you shouldn't say "well no one would do that!" because they would.
it doesn't matter what.
they would.

>>385322
listen to the chaplain

i feel as though when i spread my heart over too many people who can't reciprocate... i don't feel more connected.

i just feel like i'm fading and being slowly kept apart.

maybe i'm doing it wrong. or just connecting to people the wrong ways. i don't know.

my heart is spread too thin.

Dear lord, iOS 7 is hideous.

>>385334
Well yeah. You're pouring personhood out, not cycling it. Why would it restore you?

>>385335
Long time, no see.

>>385335
Wow, haven't seen you in forever. Sup.

>>385336
there's no reason it would. i just keep doing it in the hope that people will reciprocate or return what i've given.

i just have do give the attention to myself for a while until the right times and the right people.

>>385338
Well yeah. You can't be all things to all people all the time, Ferro, and trying to be will leave you drained because other people can't always complete that feedback loop with you, or don't want to.

>>385336
>>385337

I've been around. Just not on /baw/ much. And a bunch of the time I'm posting anonymously because I can't be bothered filling in my name and trip when I'm on my phone.

>>385331
indeed.

So who's going to NYCC?

>realizing you're in a relationship where you feel much more deeply about the other person than they feel about you

>>385293
Hi, I'm the one who wrote the posts about my shitball call center job. Thanks for writing back. I'm taking tomorrow off because if I have to come in I'm going to axe murder someone. And that's because...
>>385354
My husband and I are going to NYCC on Friday. The timing for this trip isn't great, but my husband is a writer hoping to drum up some pro work. I'll be going along mostly as moral support, but also because COMICS!
If my husband scores a high-profile gig then maybe I can quit the shit-show I'm trapped at now and move on to something less stressful. He's a good writer who can get things done on time, he's ready for the big time!

whats up

whats up

>>385357
The ceiling.

>>385358
http://goo.gl/pgcFvL

>>385357
chillin outside of toke yo w/ no money to toke yo

>>385357
The cost of living.

Why am I stupidly happy that I made a functional insult generator App

>>385357
The opposite of down, but only in a gravitational field.

>>385366
Because you can stick that shit on iOS or Android and make some easy but little money from ads.

>>385366
The Simpsons - Shut Up! Shut U…

>>385369
Its not just the prospect of making money(okay that's a lie, its like the 2nd place ) but the rush of making it work, which sadly took about 5 hours, I mean I've really only started futzing with java a year ago and now I'm doing arduino, processing, javascript, css, R and python on top of everything else.

Its a fucking weird rush of "okay I got this thing to barely work, what features can I add to improve it", which now that I think about it is kinda of a toxic mindset if I managed to make something good, but at my skill level I don't need to worry about it.

also fuck snapchat update, shit is SO SLOW NOW

Why is it so fucking hard to register a throwaway e-mail account for silliness? I remember having like 15 accounts when I was 16.

>>385379
Depends on where you're trying, I guess? Mailinator is your friend.

>playing flash game and doing pretty good
>accidentally click on a shortcut to a different page
>have to start over from the beginning

goddammit

>>385385
>Not saving the flash to your computer so you can play it in a stand alone media player
>or to play while offline

>>385386
I don't think you can save or play this one offline, or I would.

>>385387
Link me and let me play, too!

>>385388
http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/Pandemic-2.html
MADAGASCARRRR!

> it took me ninety minutes to minesweeper through my phone messaging to change my voicemail.

So it's been a week since I've quit one of my jobs.
Feels good man.
I should find another one after October though.

Guys. This is just a suspicion, but I think my landlord might not be very good at his job.

>>385399
Is the rent at least cheap?

>>385325
Fucking terrible as that is, isn't that from a thing where animal conservationists cut off the horn? To deter poachers? It's made of hair so it eventually grows back, right?

Got a bottle full of Celexa from the doc.
Here's hopin'.

> wake up at two thirty from loud noises.
> Pip is running around the main room.
> acting like a little fag, knocking things over, mushing her face into box pile.
> grunting and wheezing like a madman.
> chase her for five minutws to try and calm her down, notoce pink sticking to her neck.
> her tongue was stuck on her collar. Must have have been geooming.
> she's really feeaking out now; pooped on the floor and starting to cry.
> nab Pip and she starts spazzing out, spitting and trying to rake a swing at my face.
> hand all scratched up trying to hook my finger under her tongue.
> Jobi wanders in and starts watching me and Pip fight.
> finally get Pip's tongue free from her collar, she immediately bites me until I let her go.
> fucker charges Jobi. Catsscreaming.wav
> break up the fight three times before locking her in the bathroom
> spends an hour clawing and yowling.
> don't even bother going back to sleep.

i miss plus4's ability to support flash.

>>385406
I miss video games.

>>385410
I miss my mom.

>>385411
oh
<3

>>385400

Very. And a fantastic location.

Anyway this little fuckup was resolved before I even got home, so it's not a big deal. Just kinda facepalm-worthy.

>have energy almost the entire day today
>alert and active
>actually spend most of the time at work doing work
I'm dying, aren't I?

>>385416
You probably just had a healthier breakfast than normal, dude.

>>385391
Nice. I wiped out humanity in about 134 days.

Might've helped that my HAPPINESS virus started in Madagascar.

>>385419
I try to make sure I start in Madagascar, but it gets tiring after a while. What's worse is when you start there, then you get fucked over by Argentina or Australia or something.

>>385417
No different from normal, except for a sliver of apple pie when I first got up.

Sadly the apple pie did nothing this morning. There were some other changes that might have helped, I have to keep experimenting.

My main problem is that I only have energy when my bowels are empty. I don't suffer from constipation, because I poop daily, but the movements take their time coming, and while they build up I get more and more listless/lethargic until it finally happens. The difference before and after having a major one is like night and day.

Off hand, anyone know why I'm getting this shit in SAI now? I recently upgraded to windows 7 and got a bigger hard drive but had to download it again.

>>385435
Ah. Never mind. My stabilizer was at zero. Silly me.

I am... once again facing the repeat crisis of my life and I... I wish I had a better option than ruing away or buckling down. Running away will leave me jobless and penniless; buckling down makes me feel like killing myself, in a profound sense that I have no control over. People say happiness is about deciding to be happy, but the thing is, my whole life, I've never really cared about anything that people have said I should care about. I try to care about things, I try to excel at them, but eventually I just end up feeling like there's something intrinsically wrong with what's going on around me. I want to care. I want to do good work. I'd like it if my opinion was at least somewhat respected and not immediately dismissed just because I'm not privy to all the working parts.

My whole life has paradoxically been spent in training to do I.T. Not necessarily from schools or classes, though being White I suspect I've had an education that is about as good as it gets short of the top-line schools for those real achievers that can look past that gaping canyon of apathy. I've spent much of my life online and much of that was spent interacting with and helping to deal with various technical issues that would spring up in various communities I've joined, or pirating. Those two activities have granted me a lot of abstract and theoretical knowledge about how all this junk works, but everything in my life has prepared me very poorly for doing anything when I sit around except for reading.

I find myself trying to cut it somehow in the Tech world and I just find myself losing more and more faith as I go on in it. And I mean, the things that set me off are miniscule, stupid things, things I should be able to just lock down and motor over in my mind. But it is the wider, broader perspective of those things that has always deflated my sails. What's worse is that I like looking at the bigger picture. Intricate systems speak to how my brain is wired on many levels, otherwise I wouldn't have the skills or understanding that I do.

Every job I get into though, it never feels like the people around me want to do a good job. Maybe because they've all been service positions; waiter, construction worker, IT service technician. It never felt like we were really intent on doing a good job (well maybe construction worker but that killed me because everyone around me seemed like they had no interest in the world outside that job).

I failed college in part because of this. I've left every job I've ever had in part because of this. I fail my own projects because I don't really know how to sit down and really break my neck at something. I was trained to solve puzzles, because that's what fixing computer systems is, solving puzzles. But I find that particular skill is of less necessity than being able to document my work, which is now 90% cut and paste and 10% making shit up. And I find myself fighting the flight or fight response, fighting the urge to run away from a solid position that I outwardly seem to have very little problem dealing with, all to prevent being let go for crashing and burning because my apathy asserted itself more and more over time. As one of my colleagues said to me the other day, "this job is so stupidly easy". And while the glib me might have said "then find a stupid person", 1) I don't have that much of a leg to stand on given my track record, and 2) I feel like there are overwhelming issues within the system we work in (that system arguably being the most functional in my section of the company).

This bugs me practically everywhere I go and with everything I do. But then again, I should just work harder.

>>385438
That's rough, buddy.

>there's a red light reflecting in my glass of water
>I have nothing in my room that could even shine red
>been looking for the source for half an hour now
This is driving me insane, goddamn.

>>385483
Water Spite?

Post pix

>>385484
I have no idea. It disappeared shortly after.

>>385483
Is the glass angled at all (like the walls)? Could be refraction, like a prism.

>>385483
Is there reddish wood that might have reflected light onto the glass?

>be a trans dude
>get asked to sit with the ladies in a wedding picture
>can't do anything about it because no one knows i'm not a lady
>dysphoria, dysphoria everywhere

And right after someone had asked me if I was the groom's brother...

im suddenly incapable of being social with anyone but the animals

>>385498
wait so, aren't you supposed to sit with the ladies? Isn't this like a subtle win?

>>385506
"trans dude" means the opposite of what you seem to think it does, anon

>>385498
That's rough, anon. I wish I could do something more than say that.

>>385498
also yeah that sucks, i'm sorry :(

>>385504
i'm like an animal

>>385512
Are you free? Can I take you home and cuddle you?

>>385514
i'd like that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>385528
?

>>385528
Times like these why I'm reminded not to fuck up in life. I don't even know where to fuckig start, all I know is I just gotta say something or... whatever. Augh. Fucking 2013 Bad year. Bad fucking year. It all started with that god damn New Year's Eve and Day. And I'm still fucking PAYING for that god damn day. Auuugh

i just want shit to be the way it was before. i know shits lost and now i can only go forward or whatever but still. augh

>>385532
You're allotted the mourning of your dead possibilities. Just do more than that, etc.

>>385533
Funny you should bring up the mourning of dead possibilities...
Have you ever had a dream that left you in weird mood for the rest of the day? Not a bad dream per se, but a dream about something you haven't thought of in years that comes out of left field and knocks you upside the head? I had one of those last night. It was about a guy I had a crush on in high school and dated briefly after we graduated. It was very short and totally hot, but ended very badly. We made peace later on and I haven't given him a second thought in years. But last night I dreamt about him professing is love/devotion/obsession yadda yadda like his life depended on it. I woke up missing him and thinking about how things could have been different. Because of this I'm a bit tempted to look him up on Facebook, but I probably won't because what's the point? But still, it bothered me more than I would have liked.

spent a stupid amount of time on this.
Thought you guys would like

>>385541

a human life is an ever growing graveyard of dead possibilities
and the ever fertile ground for new ones

and we have both the right and the responsibility to experience it as both

but it is always in our best interest to remember which go where

it was a good day
not perfect
but good

on a related note, how am i supposed to forgive someone for mocking me for my suicidal thoughts?
i hate holding grudges, and i'm generally good at putting stuff in the past, but every time i think of this it makes me really angry that someone i trusted and cared about would risk provoking me into action because they were "pretty sure" i was lying about them
i mean, i wouldn't, and i told them so when i told them about the thoughts, but
that's still just so, so fucked up to me. so fucked up. i'm not even sad about it, like wow who has time to feel bad for themselves when they're busy being so angry about it. not me.

(thinking about this is one of the reasons the day was not perfect btw)

>>385546
Tell that person to go fuck themselves because they are an asshole.

>>385546
what that other guy said

http://threepanelsoul.com/2013/10/14/on-impostor-syndrome/

This is so relevant to me that my head exploded.

brb buying new mousemoose

>>385555
>tfw not even a good whatever I was supposed to be

>Walk into Walmart
>pass by rednecks in the camping section
>I need to update my survival kit, so I'm their to look for additions
>they're talking about seeing Bigfoot
>oh god they aren't being facetious

The Hillbilly Slide And One Ma…

There's no real sequitor. I just wanted to post this.

>>385555

This is how I always feel about the whole "adult" thing. It never seems to really make any sense to me. Whenever I watch a program that says "parental discretion is advised", I hear a voice telling me "you shouldn't be watching this." I can't seem to accept the fact that I own a car, it's as if I'm just borrowing it or something.

It's the worst with jobs, of course. No matter what, I feel like some stupid little kid playing dress-up and pretending to be a responsible adult. In my last job, I occasionally found myself wearing a suit and talking to multimillionaires about how best to protect their income and allocate their retirement savings. I never felt comfortable with it. Despite that I legitimately DID know more than them, money is an "adult" matter; it's not something I should be fucking with. In my current job, I occasionally find myself talking to a vet about a particular dog. Despite that I've been around dogs my entire life, and that I know what I'm talking about, I always get that voice telling me that I should refuse to answer any questions because I'm not qualified. I'm just a stupid kid driving this dog from point-a to point-b; I should NOT BE TRUSTED with important matters like this, any more than a four-year-old should be trusted with holding a priceless and fragile vase.

Is this kind of ridiculous insecurity and self-juvenilinization normal? I expected to grow out of this when I turned 18 — it didn't happen. I expected to grow out of it when I went to college — it didn't happen. I expected to grow out of it when I got a part-time job and learned to drive — it didn't happen. I expected to grow out of it when I got a full-time, adult job, got my own car, drove all over the goddamn county for said job, started managing my own expenses and buying my own food/supplies, and started a legitimate plan for saving/investing for the future — it still did not happen. At this point, I don't even think buying my own house and getting married would change anything.

What the hell? Am I going to feel like a child for the rest of my life?? It's ridiculous.

>>385586
I think the fact is that the "adult world" we hear so much about a kid, containing things we can't possibly understand or aren't ready for, is just a bunch of bullshit. This is spread by "adults" who are too lazy to actually explain problems or believe they should have ultimate authority because they are "adults".

>>385586
>Is this kind of ridiculous insecurity and self-juvenilinization normal?

I think so. I think feeling grown up is a question of confidence, actually. Somebody once said to me that "nobody is reaaaallly grown up". Which I think is true on some level. But it harkens back to Descartes' notion of Cogito Ergo Sum; I think therefor I am.

As the world becomes more and more complex, it gets difficult to draw the lines of what is and isn't true. This is why arguing with someone often seems like an affront to them personally; your beliefs are a reflection of what you believe about the world. Some children are grown at 12; some adults can't fend for themselves at 45. Being able to call yourself an adult seems to be a definition of "self" based on a point of confidence in which you decide, reasonably or unreasonably, that you can support yourself and withstand enough responsibility to function in society in the absence of your parents. However qualified or not you may be.

>>385591
this is p gud

i don't know when i stopped feeling like a kid. exactly...
i do remember when i stopped thinking i was wise for my age... when i stopped thinking i knew more than i needed to and when i thought i was privileged enough to not have to learn to do adult things...

but i never lost my childhood sense of wonder. the moment i stop believing i can grow into an awesome person, adult or not, isn't just when my childhood dies. it's when i die, too.

I stopped feeling like a kid the second I realized how utterly awful teenagers are. I still don't feel like an "adult," but I definitely know I'm a grown-up now.

>Being able to call yourself an adult seems to be a definition of "self" based on a point of confidence in which you decide, reasonably or unreasonably, that you can support yourself and withstand enough responsibility to function in society in the absence of your parents.

Yeah, I can do that, but it still doesn't seem right. I recognize that adulthood is largely a huge suspension-of-disbelief, in that there is really nothing separating adults from children. Perhaps, then, it's my conscious rejection of all of society's bullshit that keeps me from believing that I've arbitrarily ascended into some higher form of human because I do different things than I did as a child. Nobody REALLY ever stops being taken care of. Just because they aren't living with and thus relying on their parents doesn't mean they have changed. Some go to college and live with and rely on roommates; some get married and live with and rely on their spouse. Even if they are single and live alone, they continue to rely in some way on their friends, on their coworkers, and on the grocery store which provides them with pre-processed food. There is nothing adult about balancing one's budget and doing taxes, for example; a child could do that if they had a reason to. There isn't anything adult about making money at a job and deciding whether to spend it and on what; children do that, too. The only way one would actually change into self-reliance is if they left society entirely and started living off the land as a completely solitary hermit. People don't do that; they stop sucking on one metaphorical teat in favor of a different one, possibly a collection of more widespread teats.

Perhaps I'm just waiting for something to change in myself, and it's not. I feel almost exactly the same as I did when I was 12. The world continues to race past me, and I'm a little more jaded than I used to be (though not by very much — I was a terribly morose child) but I still feel the same. As I mentioned, I still feel like a child playing games, just they are slightly more complicated games. When I was 12 I played SimCity 2000; now I play SimCity 4. Same thing, just a little more complicated. A little more tiring. A little more consumptive of my time and energy and thoughts. A little less time to wonder and imagine and enjoy life.

Perhaps that is all adulthood is. Enjoying life less. There doesn't seem to be anything else, to me.

>>385592
> the moment i stop believing i can grow into an awesome person, adult or not, isn't just when my childhood dies. it's when i die, too.
This is a mantra I can give my genuine, albeit ultimately meaningless, respect to.

blorfffff my antidepressants make me super nauseated blorfffff
i actually jokingly made a gagging motion earlier and that act alone made me so nauseated that i almost threw up. i got all clammy and stuff.

on the upside, i feel good other than the constant threat of puking up my half-digested pill and being unsure whether i should take another or go without a full dose!

>>385599
Lie down, and if you need to eat or drink something, pick light things that won't upset your stomach. Fruit, yogurt, toast, water, ginger ale, stuff like that. Avoid anything too heavy or sugary. Wait until your stomach is settled before taking any more medication, and call your doctor or pharmacist to tell them about this.

>>385600
Nah I don't really think it's a big deal
>Nausea is often caused when the 5HT3 receptors actively absorbs free serotonin, as this receptor is present within the digestive tract.[41] The 5HT3 receptors stimulate vomiting. This side effect, if present, should subside as the body adjusts to the medication.
Sounds like a really basic side-effect. Actually all of my side-effects so far are super manageable. Tiredness, nausea(this is actually a bad combo, having my mouth wide-open so much from yawning makes me nauseated hahaha), and vivid dreams.

>>385601
Well, that sucks. Hope you feel better, physically as well as emotionally.

>>385602
Thank you! I have been feeling quite a bit better. Stuff still makes me sad, of course, but it's a temporary sadness, not the day-ruiner it would have been before. I'm capable of moving on.
It's a weird change, but I like it.

>>385595
Why would you feel like anything other than a candlejack? The adult construct is to reassure other people that you can handle it.

>>385595
Then adult is an incomplete word and should be removed from your vocabulary as it has about as much meaning as a fairy tale creature.

I used to rail against cynicism like yours everytime someone would post about how the world has been deceiving and unfair, but so much of that came from a bad place within me that feared I would begin to see the world in dark greys and despair.

It took throwing out all these preconceived notions and harmful/useless language to give me the freedom and confidence to believe in the value of age, of life.

I don't feel sorry or angry anymore at cynicism. I know where it comes from. I just hope you find a way to let go of the useless and let go of the grudges. Nothing holds a person back like the things within himself that he attributes to someone else.

>>385609
huh. phone didn't remember my name/trip

People confuse me.

>>385595
Self-reliance does not mean "cut off from people". There's a big concept in the American tradition that to be Self-Reliant is to not need people. And that's just wrong. Life is a balance between being alone and being with other people, but to be Self-Reliant is to be able to deal with things in such a way that you don't burden others with your problems, in fact often the truly self-reliant take on the problems of others.

I can't tell you what the secret of self-actualization is. I don't really know. There's a lot of people who motivate people professionally, who talk on and on about how one star or another got famous. They don't talk a lot about the work, and the sweat. But the thing is, the work and the sweat don't seem to be as problematic if you really believe in what you're doing. The tricky thing is, finding something to do you really believe in.

Its a weird thing going to a job fair, with a resume that you puffed up a bit. I blatantly told several people I had skills that are a half step above what I can actually do.

like I should feel ashamed about doing it but now I feel more energized than ever to actually learn shit.

>>385627

>I can't tell you what the secret of self-actualization is.

I have an idea of what it could be.

You can’t hope to accomplish anything worthwhile (e.g. becoming a writer, making music, feeling happy) by simply sitting on your ass and doing nothing. You have to do things (even if you fail at them) to figure out what you want to do in the long term and feel better about yourself.

Yesterday, I wrote a half-hour of meandering bullshit you could call ‘journaling’ under the guise of freewriting. Did I write a goddamn thing worth publishing? No. But I wrote about 1,000 words in a half-hour, and that made me feel good. I did something, and my emotions followed.

If you need motivation to do shit, fine. Get motivated. Go watch some inspiring YouTube videos or read some motivational quotes. But when you finish getting motivated, move on to taking action.

There’s your secret to self-actualization: fucking do something.

>>385629
i won't pretend i'm a guru. i usually have a distrust for self-proclaimed gurus unless they show the fruits of true wisdom. some people like to listen to my own personal journey and find it helpful, but it would be pretentious of me to suggest that i'm qualified to speak on the nature of true self-actualization.

that said, from my experience, there isn't at all a secret self-actualization. i don't mind the shorthand that Anon used to describe the path to it, but it's not magic. i agree, Sage. it takes work. it takes action. but action is something anyone who channels motivation can do be it their own or their perception of someone else's influence on them. self-actualization comes from a place of self-acceptance... acceptance of the most beautiful as well as the harshest realities... and an understanding of self that can only be found from testing oneself... from living... from being the primary mover in one's own life. The gifts of the self-actualized are honest expression and a centered peaceful mind.

To understanding oneself, there's no secret or trick. It takes work. Time. Patience. Forgiveness. All of that comes together and the picture that is yourself becomes clear like a pond after the dirt is allowed to settle.

This has nothing to do with being an adult or being successful... famous... rich. This is about finding fulfillment, and to find it one must take the slow path to discover what that even means for him or her.

This sounds vague, but I adhere to the idea that you cannot sufficiently describe the experience of a color without the other person having experienced it. So, too, is discovering more of yourself. There's an authenticity and truth that must be experienced. No magic. Just self-awareness, self-acceptance, and brutal honesty. All other things flow from that place... if you can handle it.

sage for not having already achieved nirvana nor proven my worth as an emotionally intelligent human being

>falling for stone

>>385629
>fucking do something

This is what you're not getting: saying that doesn't do anything. That's all the help books and the motivational speakers and the pissant youtube videos are saying. Do something. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter if you have the financial base to do it. Doesn't matter if you don't have the abilities. Doesn't matter if it doesn't interest you, or excite you, or even test your abilities. Doesn't matter if you have to put food on the table for someone else. Just fucking do something.

And the thing is is that just saying that doesn't work. That doesn't create any kind of intrinsic motivation, or answer any of the really big questions about what you want to do or how you go about accomplishing it. The way it's usually presented doesn't even share with you the technical aspects of what most people did, or review the creation of technical products. Usually it's a preponderance in believing in yourself. And while confidence, even artificial confidence, helps in almost every situation, when it comes to truly accomplishing things in this day and age, you need a little more than invested time. In this day and age, Knowledge of a subject really helps.

As Ferrous said, finding your vocation takes time, takes moving through life and understanding what you can really do. Where the line of "Adulthood" and "Self-Reliance" is drawn relative to that is tricky. I like to think of "Self-Reliance" being defined as being able to create a place in time and space where you can really accomplish something, and allow others to accomplish something. But that takes time, understanding, materials, liquid assets, as the bankers might say. Reference John Cleese:
John Cleese talks about what i…

But you need to be able to make those spaces in the first place to enjoy what you're doing. And the thing is is that it's more work. It's difficult work, it's work close to your heart, it's work on top of the work you're already doing to put the food on the table. And the thing is, not everyone can shoulder that extra burden. Making those kinds of spaces for yourself when you're trying to put things together for others is not always something that happens. Nobody wants to be working in a McDonalds when they're 65 but it is a thing that happens. Finding what you want to do and what makes you truly happy in your life often requires a more complex answer than a Nike slogan. Often it is a very difficult answer that requires them to turn their lives upside down to achieve a far-flung result. And that's a gamble, not a certainty. And it doesn't seem like that is always a gamble that you should make. Success is worth shooting for but it is not worthwhile to throw all your cards to the wind because that gamble doesn't always pay out.

Adulthood? Shit man that's just when you stop lying while buying beer.

>>385633
Forgot to put: it also doesn't help if you don't have any idea what to do.

Well, I'm worried. My molar's missing its rear-cheek corner and I can feel it rubbing up against the back of my mouth. I ripped out a shard of enamel this morning and everything tastes like rotting meat. I wonder if I can pay someone fifty bucks to punch me in the face to get it out. That actually works, right?

>>385637
Just ask the village smith to yank it out for you.

>>385637
Whichever option you take, make sure the hole doesn't become infected or you'll have worse problems.

>>385632
>implying i wrote that for him

>>385628
Sounds better than I. A big reason I don't toy with the idea of job hunting is that I always underplay my abilities, so I won't be of interest to any prospective employer.

I do so because I worry not meeting the expectations that will develop if I list my level of skill what it is actually at (especially if I'm wrong about my full capabilities.) I fear letting other people down; which is funny, because I also have a great desire to help others.

End result is that if I actually wind up embroiled in something, it gets 200%, but otherwise I try my damnedest to be non-committal on anything and overestimate on time taken.

>>385630
>>385633

When I say ‘fucking do something’, I don’t mean ‘do anything without aim, so long as you just do something’, by the by.

Don’t know what you want to do with your life? Good! Take some time to think about it and (maybe) write down some ideas. Look back on what interested you as a child and ask yourself why it did. Figure out your strengths as a person and how you can use them to your advantage. I consider those all ‘actions’ (‘doing something’) that can help you figure out what you want to do with your life and help build a new identity for yourself.

But you can’t accomplish that if you just sit on the couch all day and stuff sugary snacks down your throat while watching talk shows and soap operas. (Networks still air those, right?)

Me? I want to write. While it takes me some time to find the motivation for it, when I do write, I try to knock out 500 words in a given period of writing. (I haven’t made it a daily habit yet, but I hope to get there soon.) Even if I just write a bunch of self-fellating bullshit that I’ll never share with anyone, that still counts as 500 words — and gets me in the mindset to write further.

So yeah, don’t aimlessly do shit. Figure out what you want (or need) to do in order to further your personal growth/skills/etc., then fucking do it. Every day, if you can (or must).

>>385647
>build a new identity for yourself
...
keep going. i cannot tell you what your path holds in a way that will be meaningful to you.

but i suggest you empty your cup. you don't need to defend why work is important. we're not attacking you. we get that. what we're saying goes farther. we're pointing ahead.

PROTIP: don't give fucks about emotional vampires because they live their whole lives training to bait you into giving fucks

The worst thing is when you can't even tell yourself it'll be alright because you can't remember what exactly happened. Should I have worry in the first place? Probably not. Could anything happen? Maybe? The more you think about it, the more confused you get, and then your confusion scares you even more. So you get high and watch something to forget about it, but the worry leaves you with this lingering gross sensation no matter what. These are very unimportant emotions when you think about it, but I have been sitting here for two and a half hours doing this without realizing it and I am definitely incapable of doing anything else.

>>385647

This is a perfect tangent into my biggest (might even go so far as to say: only) problem with life; that is, other people. See, it doesn't matter how fucked up I am, I never have problems until having to deal with people becomes involved. I couldn't care less about what I mess up involving my own life, but even though I consciously don't care about others, subconsciously I'm always terrified at causing someone else problems. I'd rather just hide inside all day and never talk to people because that is what's most comfortable for me.

So I can DO THINGS, just nothing that involves anyone else. To point, I like to fancy myself as a writer, too. I would be fairly well happy if I could spend the rest of my life writing fiction to pay the bills. Unfortunately, in order to do this, I need others to actually read what I'm writing. The whole motivating myself, and finding something I'm passionate about, doing the daily grind, blah blah blah... yeah, no problem! I planned, plotted, wrote, rewrote, re-rewrote, edited, and reedited an entire fucking novel. 185,000 words, thereabouts. Took me damn near four years in total. Every single one of the 52 chapters was hammered out by me sitting in a corner on my crappy little netbook typing away for three/four hours nonstop. It's done, finished, ready to go (well, at least in digital format), and the best part is, I actually think it's GOOD. I've never been satisfied with so much as a single batch of cookies I've baked, and have a tendency to nitpick and deride any mistake I make as ruining the entire thing, yet I think, time and again, that this novel is really freaking good! And yet for the last six months, I've been essentially sitting on it doing nothing.

I just... can't move. I could be sitting on something that's either going to (most likely, let's be realistic) fail miserably, or succeed. If it fails, I can just hurry up and throw in the towel and go walk off the face of the fucking Earth, because I've been telling myself I'm going to commit suicide since before I graduated high school; I'm just procrastinating at this point. However, if it succeeds, I might suddenly become able to make a living off of this. Dare we dream, I might even become the next Stephen King; this could be my equivalent of his manuscript of Carrie that his wife literally rescued from a trash can.

For most people, I suppose they would consider this part the easiest. They did all the hard work for years and years and years, now they merely have to contact an agent, write a letter to a publisher, or self-publish and self-promote. Easy shit! Socializing and interacting is what humans are made for! Well, not me.

Getting started is never a problem for me, it's doing the very last thing, because usually that last thing involves other people. All I have left to do is pull the trigger; in fact I've already built the entire gun from scratch, forged the bullets, mixed the powder, I've set up aim, I've stilled my heart and held my breath. The target is in the crosshairs. I'm ready.

Nope. I just walk away. I can't do it.

I don't even know what I'm asking for. I just felt like dumping my problems because, God knows, nobody in my family gives a shit about my problems. They're all normal people who have no problem making phone calls. They don't understand why it's always so difficult for me. They don't notice the pattern where, if asked to complete a job, I'll work myself tirelessly and until I'm bloody to complete it; yet, I haven't gone out to proactively find work. They just see that I don't have "a job", and so assume I'm lazy and don't want to work at all. That's all anyone sees. "So you want to be a writer, kid? Ha! You haven't even published so much as a single paragraph in a blog. What a joke."

>>385659
From one self-conscious, struggling writer to another, do you think I could read some of that?

>>385659

>"So you want to be a writer, kid? Ha! You haven't even published so much as a single paragraph in a blog. What a joke."

Ask them how many words they write per day and how many unpublished books/novellas/blog posts/etc. they have stowed away.

If they can’t answer back with anything other than the equivalent of ‘fuck you’, their opinion of you doesn’t matter. As the old saying goes: ‘Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.’

As for your accomplishment so far: if I could fistbump you, I would. You’ve just become an inspiration to my lazy ass.

>>385659
Maybe you could try finding an agent/advisor/helper/friend/advocate to help you get your writings published and promoted.

You don't have to work with everyone, only one really reliable, trusting, and accepting person if you can find one.

Sounds like a possible compromise.

>>385659
So here's a question

Did you want to move beyond just writing that one book? Do you want to become a writer writer? or did you just write the book to write the book? Cause the legwork, once we know how to do it, that's easy. Writing by oneself is not intrinsically difficult. Arguably the most difficult thing about it is getting published and then staying published and staying in that game. That itself is a whole separate task from writing, and while writing novels definitely requires skill, they question is can you do it repetitively?

>>385659
Have you considered starting with something that requires less investment? Like doing serial web fiction and developing an audience that way? Then you don't have to feel so much like you're putting up high stakes when you put yourself out there, plus if you manage to develop an audience, publishers are more likely to want to publish you--the more "guaranteed audience" you bring with you, the less leg work they feel like they have to do. And publishers really like to do as little work as possible.

>>385676

See, this is a good idea.

Grab a free blog from Blogger/Tumblr/whatever (I prefer Tumblr for its ease of customization), post some of your writing, and spread the links around. (If you go with Tumblr, make sure to tag things properly. The first five tags are the most important.)

You may not always get great feedback, but you'll get your writing out there and create the opportunity for feedback.

(Note: My posts should come with one of those automatic beepers that overly-large trucks have when they back up; basically: danger, freaking huge. I can't help it. I enjoy writing too damn much.)


>You don't have to work with everyone, only one really reliable, trusting, and accepting person if you can find one.

If I find one, I'll let you know. Outside of family and work-related, I don't have any friends; I don't talk to anyone.


>Did you want to move beyond just writing that one book?

Oh, yeah... about that:

I've got an entire (ridiculous, over-the-top, never-been-done-before, I-am-seriously-capital-"I"-insane) project here, that this is merely the first part of. What I worry about most is that I seriously wonder if I might die of old age before I can finish it, especially at the rate I'm going.

The entire thing is 30 novels spread over (so far) 5 different timelines branching off the main one that are all interconnected through the actions of an unfortunate time-traveler that accidentally sets all this shit in motion, his story told in full in the frame-story that will be done last. Each one represents a different facet of my oft-changing interpretation of the entirety of the human condition (and more broadly, life itself, particularly intelligent life), encompassing science, metaphysics, philosophy, psychology, religion, and everything else I can think of. I have basic ideas for more than half of them, and largely fleshed-out stories for about 5 (meaning I could start writing them tomorrow if I felt like it). For the record, the one I've finished is #26 and represents Sexual Orientation; I started with that one because homosexuality is such a controversial topic right now that I figured it will stand out even if the writing is mediocre. They rest will be created and released in a very specific (not numerical) order because they're all interconnected, sometimes with the same characters, and it will avoid spoilers that way and take maximum advantage of foreshadowing. Next up are 13 (Libido [more Creativity and antithesis of Destrudo than plain sex drive]), 5 (Fear), 28 (Purpose), 17 (Curiosity), 29 (Good/Evil), and 1 (Universe)... and then it's a little less determined and loose.

And that doesn't even count that each of these comes with 2-4 little short-stories as a bonus for more world-building within the larger story's individual canon.

Really, the enemy here is time. My desire to get these ideas and stories out into the world are much less than that of the desire to write them just for the sake of writing them; except for the damned editing I really ENJOY writing, and even more I enjoy reading what I've already written. But I can't hold a steady job for the rest of my life and just do this only as a hobby... I'll run out of time. That's why it took four fricken years to write the last one — I was working and attending college in the meantime. Simple math tells you 4 years times 30 is 120 years. Unless I discover the Fountain of Youth, I'll be dead before this is done. So I have to be able to devote myself to it full-time, which means I have to be able to make money off of this (would probably be a good incentive to work harder, too), enough for a decent living, if nothing more.


>Have you considered starting with something that requires less investment? Like doing serial web fiction ... ?

Eh, not really. I mentioned before that I realize this is how most people get started in the business. Basically nobody is a runaway success right out of the blue (both that I can think of: JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer, write for children/adolescents). All the same, little stuff doesn't really interest me; I'm not very capable of coming up with small stories that don't suddenly start growing out-of-control into huge, complicated universes. It's just the way my mind works. It's like a solution of sugar that you put a string into to make rock candy; it's not very long before huge crystals start growing off of each other, expanding ever larger.

I suppose I COULD, if I had to, but it would just draw my attention from what I really want to do. Still, I wouldn't really know where to start (Tumblr, really? You guys have derided the hell out of the place as a festering cesspool of teenage drivel and asinine whining) and asking for help is a bit... difficult, as I've said.


I have some interest in self-publishing, but I don't where to start with that, either. (And from a purely-technical standpoint, I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out how to format the thing into a pdf in a way so that the represented page-size isn't the size of an 8/11 sheet of paper as it natively is when written in Microsoft Word Processor. I need the pages to be the size of those in a paperback book.) Hilariously, unless I make the font size teeny-tiny, I calculated that it'll be something like 600-700 bloody pages long... pfft. This is why I'm sure most actual publishing companies would laugh me out the door — it's just way too long for a first novel as the convention normally goes; the industry is still stuck in the Dark Ages, as it were, and paper is expensive. In this way, my "talent" for extensive world-building works against me.


>>385660

Sure; why not. I could dig through and find a couple short passages that aren't too spoileriffic so you (and anyone else interested) can see what my writing style is like and tell me whether or not it's any good. Dunno where to put it, though.

>>385680
>Tumblr, really? You guys have derided the hell out of the place as a festering cesspool of teenage drivel and asinine whining
Much of 4chan culture does, but I personally do not. It is a blogging platform. You pretty much get out of it what you look for in it, and the people who are inundated by all that bullshit are people who go out actively seeking that bullshit, because they enjoy the drama every bit as much as those teenaged girls do, and just find their joy in pretending to be above it all rather than engaging in it the way those people themselves do.

I know people who were surprised to learn Tumblr was not just a pornography platform--like I said, you find what you look for in Tumblr. If you go in there looking for creative types to gab about creative shit with, you'll find it. If you go there looking for drama, you'll find that too.

>>385680

>I have some interest in self-publishing, but I don't where to start with that, either.

This might give you at least some idea of where (and how) to start — http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2013/07/how-to-self-publish-a-bestseller-publishing-3-0/

As for the Tumblr thing: yeah, you get what you look for when it comes to that. I follow a number of artists/art blogs, some ‘general interest’ blogs (like http://explore.noodle.org/), a handful of ‘advice’ blogs (http://dearcoquette.com/ and http://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/ as an example), and a couple of blogs from people I know around the Internets (like http://moheyism.org/). I don’t do ‘atrocity tourism’ unless I get pointed towards it first, and I don’t follow GIF/fandom/social justice blogs to save my sanity (and time). As I said, I mainly like Tumblr because it’s easy to put together a theme (compared to Blogger and free Wordpress.com hosting) and the posting options make it simple to handle both social media notifications and layouts for specific types of posts (in relation to the blog design). If I could put together my own self-hosted blog with a CMS such as Wordpress, I would.

personal baw because this is a good discussion.

I don't think I've ever gotten that mad at someone for trying to tell me the realities of the world. For trying to put my plans into marketable shares. Cause I just don't care.

She said that people are stupid; that they are like lemmings, and will just follow the crowd, no matter where it leads. And that exploiting that stupidity is how one can reasonably make bank.

And I can't ever accept that. People are alone, they are frightened, they don't know, they want to feel good. I can accept that the crowd moves in mysterious ways sometimes.

I can't ever accept the assertion that people are innately stupid, and that that is the sole driver of market forces. Scared, alone, uncertain, sure. Not dumb. Not stupid. Not sheeple driving ever closer to the cliff. I don't accept that and I can't ever accept that. The question is complex and the answer is complex and sometimes it might seem simple. It never is.

I cannot ever accept that it is that simple because it isn't. And thinking that it is that simple is the cause of so many wrongs in this world. I don't care if I fail into obscurity. I will never accept the supposition that people are chess pieces.

coincidentally I don't think I've ever killed anyone's libido that hard.

sage for dumb bullshit

So I was going through a bunch of gay art and I was like wow. I remember when Coelasquid did that for me when I asked on a whim, I remember when Tim did that, and Insomnia, etc. I don't come here as often how many people have come and left. This is kind of depressing. Man, nostalgia is weird. I kind of wish it was like it was back when this place started sometimes. The people who were here aren't better or worse than the people who are here now but you'll never recapture that.

>>385684
>I don't think I've ever gotten that mad at someone for trying to tell me the realities of the world. For trying to put my plans into marketable shares. Cause I just don't care.
That's because those who are opposed to creative types making their way in the world without a corporate master have successfully made the crowd believe that you should feel ashamed of trying to make money off of your endeavors.

You are the crowd. It's you.

>>385680
> I could dig through and find a couple short passages that aren't too spoileriffic so you (and anyone else interested) can see what my writing style is like and tell me whether or not it's any good. Dunno where to put it, though.

Make your own thread, or link to a blog post or something.

>>385684
>I can't ever accept the assertion that people are innately stupid

Some people are even stupider than you think.

>>385685
>I kind of wish it was like it was back when this place started sometimes. The people who were here aren't better or worse than the people who are here now but you'll never recapture that.

thatnostalgicfeelwhen.jpg

>>385687

>Some people are even stupider than you think

Oh hai.

Can someone with medical knowledge help? I got forcibly kissed by a creep at a bar last night. Am I going to get herpes on my lips? He didn't have any visible sores, it was closed mouth, I already have hsv-1 (cold sores) and am on an antiviral. Should I chill?

>>385692
It's unlikely you contracted HSV-2 from a dude with no sores on his mouth if he closed-mouth kissed you. The cold sore virus can be passed on by kissing, though, so it's a lot more likely that you gave him herpes.

>>385693

Ok. Ive been trying not to panic about it, or beat myself up for "letting" it happen

And if he did that's a risk he assumes randomly groping and kissing people.

>>385692
Did you stab him?

>>385695
Might be a slight overreaction. A lawsuit for assault and battery, and pressing charges with the police should be enough.

>>385692
Other than being in an unbelievably rude situation, chances are you're going to be okay.

What an ass thing to do. A slap on the face would be a fine response.

>>385697
I might have agreed with you once, but I'm working on getting over my self-doubt, so nah, I'm gonna stick with suggesting a stabbing.
Thanks for your input though!

>>385701
This isn't a matter of self-doubt, it's a matter of not being a HARDCORE 90'S ANTIHERO WANNABE.

>>385702
No, no, I'm quite certain I'm in the right about this. Trust me, your opinion is valued and respected, just lesser. To mine.
You should have stabbed him, anon. Maybe you still can. Do you remember what he looks like?

Huh.
So apparently, I'm pretty good at poker.

That dumb little fantasy I have when I win at strip poker against a bunch of girls I've had crushes on now requires alot less suspension of disbelief.

>>385685
God, yeah. I know, right? Just... the original crew I guess! That was fun. Man, that generation really shaped me in a professional sense. The artists, the writers, and the... the desire to live in Canada...
Aaah.

Seriously though. Great buncha peeps.

>>385703

No, but given what he was saying to my fiancée I probably should have stabbed the fucker. He was talking about all this Gross sexual stuff (underage Thai hookers, poop, amputation) he'd done and wanted to do to me and her. One time we go out to have a good time and we have to leave early because of some aggressive creep...

Mug him first. Then stab him. Duh.

>>385692
my default advice has been to eat your roommate, but in this case it might be appropriate to fill his lips permanently with collagen to make them the shape of a scarlet "R"
for RRRRRRAPIST

don't eat him. you don't know where he's been.

Enough with the stabbing talk.
She was kissed without consent. That's harassment or assault and should be treated as such.

If the situation has disturbed you, I would recommend speaking with your attorney.

>>385705
Ah then obviously I'd go with st-
>>385712
...Fine the shit we put up with, then I guess getting the cops involved could be nice, if safe enough. Who knows what dirt they could dig up on him.

> This might give you at least some idea of where (and how) to start — http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2013/07/how-to-self-publish-a-bestseller-publishing-3-0/

... I think I'll just go walk off a bridge right now and save myself the trouble. All of that sounds like a great plan for people with thousands of friends/followers and tens of thousands of dollars to burn. I, obviously, have neither. Going down the "free" route seems barely a step above "publishing" on fanfiction.net in terms of professionalism and quality. It's better than nothing, I guess.

Now I know why terrible, terrible books like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey can become blockbuster bestsellers: the whole thing is nothing but bullshit politics and networking. If you press the right buttons and know the right people, you can publish used toilet paper and become famous. I don't have a chance; God knows why I was being so naively optimistic in the first place.


>I got forcibly kissed by a creep at a bar last night.

People actually do that? I'm not normally a violent person, but someone would be choking on their own testicles if they tried that on me.

Remind me to add "seedy bar" to my list of "Places I Will Never Go", right up there with "Somalia", "North Korea", and "Active Minefield".

>>385715

>I think I'll just go walk off a bridge right now and save myself the trouble.

Hey, nobody ever said self-publishing would be easy.

>>385712
>Enough with the stabbing talk.
>That's harassment or assault and should be treated as such.
>Enough with the stabbing talk.
...
Yeah, you've lost me.

>>385721
I don't find it particularly clever or funny.

>>385724
you're really like the least fun person ever
it wasn't really meant to have any kind of depth of humor, i was just goofing off because suggesting a stabbing seemed to ruffle your feathers for some strange reason. i wasn't going for a BOFOFOFO WELL DONE SLOWPOKE i was just being silly.
i obviously do not actually condone stabbing someone for a forced closed-mouth kiss, though if the guy had taken it any further, i might not be redacting my suggestion right now. i don't play around with sexual assault. hits too close to home.

>>385221
Everything went better than expected.jpg

Got the PTO finally approved - higher-ups blinked first.

Also, finally got a new car, just in time for winter, from a dealer which gave me a good trade in for my super-old car, and the monthly payment is well within my abilities to pay at my current pay-rate.

Finally, this week, I'll have worked long enough to start applying for promotions within the company.

>>385733
Good to hear!

>>385684
People aren't innately stupid, it's just a kind of combination of ignorant, selfish, and slow to change. Basically, well-spoken babies. That should be worked out by the time they aren't babies, but it's easy to fall back into.

Oddly enough, I've kinda been getting a bit into bdsm lately.

My dad's gym bro who's about my age is messaging me, telling me what a great man he was and how he was like a father to him and how strong a person he was, etc...

And on one hand, it's really sweet of the kid but on the other it's like dude didn't know him for realsies. It just brings back all the bullshit from the funeral, with the people from his church and gym parroting the same fake-ass things.

And ahahahhahaha fuck everyone forever.

Kahn asks the important questions.

Youtube stopped working for me. This is slightly annoying.

I really enjoy making these MS Paint colorscapes. At least it isn't Battledads

>>385763
at least, I enjoyed these color schemes.

>>385764
[spoilers]read bolano, mark[spoilers]

>>385766
no first i need to watch kaiba and lose my identity to the oversoul, ya dumby

>>385772
finished it last night, cried like a babbu

gdi i need a shagging
D:

I'm having increasing bouts of sleep paralysis.
Often when I want to wake up I feel like I'm ramming a door open till I can control my body. Do you think I should seek help?

>>385774
sup

So nice being in the bathroom, burshing my teeth, and hearing my roommate and his girlfriend fucking. Well, mainly hearing her, she's quite the moaner.

notevenaproblem.jpeg

>>385776
Yeah, seeing a doctor can't hurt. Could also be really poor sleep?

>>385776
Probably.
Holding your breath once you become lucid will wake you up pretty damn quick in the meantime.

>>385776

Go for it. In the meantime, are you sleeping on your back? That usually gets me. I also tend to have nightmares when doing so.

>>385780

Hmm, I've never thought of trying this. Will do if it ever happens to me again.

>>385781
Yeah, it makes your body think you're suffocating, which makes your brain flip the fuck out and wake you up.
Not sure how uh, safe it is, tricking your brain into thinking you're dying sounds like it would be kind of...iffy, but it's what I've heard several people recommend for waking up from sleep paralysis.

>>385776
I've had bouts of sleep paralysis, and something that seemed to work was having something in from of me that grabs attention with a lot of obvious and non-repetitive movement, like a television. Of course, you'll need one that isn't dependent on a cable box that automatically times out.
I imagine another idea would be a brain-scanning helmet one could sleep in that detects the state of sleep paralysis and activates an alarm to wake you up the rest of the way.

>>385783
Or well, either it worked, or I ended up thinking I was too lazy to move rather than paralyzed, which I guess is close enough in terms of not being a disturbing experience?

"Turn the knob to the right."

>>385793
I always take that to mean "twist such that the fingers most near the top move in the stated direction". So, grasping as I normally do, the index or index and thumb are the top most, so I turn my hand such that those move to the right of their current location.

>>385793
I've always considered the upper end to be the primary decision. As it is how we read and most people will grip it from the top.

>>385793
I think this is one of those things where you only screw it up if you actually start thinking about it. Like trying to map every motion of your muscles as you walk and you turn into a version of QWOP.

>>385800
As an unrelated aside, I'd say QWOP's difficulty is less being forced to think of the complexity of handling it and more the lack of force feedback, inability to vary pressure smoothly, and the fact that you aren't allowed to get used to operating the legs by playing around on the floor.

understanding that i'm limited has been the key to my liberation

single tasking is the most underrated thing i swear. limit yourself to one thing at a time and just admit that you can't do anything better than that and suddenly the whole fucking strategy for getting things done can reveal itself.

>>385809
>single tasking is the most underrated thing i swear. limit yourself to one thing at a time and just admit that you can't do anything better than that and suddenly the whole fucking strategy for getting things done can reveal itself.
As the great sage once said, "Never whistle while you're pissing."

Why is powder solid but water a liquid?
What is wet?
I must have learned this before but I dammit if I can remember anything from those blasted public schools.

>>385812
>liquid
See image
>powder
Can't take the shape of the container, though you wouldn't know it without magnification. Even the finest powders leave space between each particle, whereas a liquid will completely fill that space.
>wet
Dunno about the official definition, but I imagine it's about a liquid adhering to something.

>>385812
>>385813
Funny thing about "wetness"--the human body is actually more or less incapable of actually telling when something is wet. You use other clues that you associate with wetness to tell that something is wet, like the fact that the temperature is colder than the air around it. But there's no sensory apparatus for gauging something's wetness in a truly reliable fashion. Mostly, it's just intuition.

>>385815
Is that why a part of my arm sometimes feels wet when there's no liquid on it? It's cold?

Actually, would not all liquids technically be "wet"?

>>385817
technical physical wetness is a matter of the interaction between a liquid and a solid. if it adheres to the surface causing it to spread over said surface, this is the physical action of wetting.

mercury typically doesn't wet most surfaces, save for ... say... metals... where it spontaneously forms amalgams/alloys.

not all liquids are wet and some liquids wet some surfaces but not others.

sorry i forgot to change my name.

>>385818
>not all liquids are wet

?

>>385821
what did I just say about wetting? wet isn't a property of the liquid alone. Wetness doesn't say anything about how fluid a liquid is or how it can flow.
It doesn't say anything about viscosity or density.
It just says that it hugs up on a surface.

When people say they feel wet, they often describe being coated in a liquid. One that wets. Something something sex.

>>385822
I cannot into science

>>385823
that's okay, dattebayo!

/baw/: for the shit I won't say on facebook, twitter or tumblr.

>>385827
no way i'm talking about my exes on any of those, dattebayo!
also i can be a racist sexist homophobe socialist libertarian on /pol/ threads so long as i'm nice about it.

speaking of Stargate i just finished the entirery of SG-1. it'd become part of my weekly routine and now its going to feel weird without it.

on the upside Walter is the best and he's among the several stargate guests at a con in a few weeks

>>385832
>Walter is the best

Yes, he is.

Oh wait, you were talking about Stargate?

Janelle Monae is actually the best one on Stargate, sorry.

Janelle Monáe - "Sir Greendown"

Janelle Monae - Cold War [Offi…

y'know sometimes i wanna be totally ripped and ooze testosterone but sometimes i wanna be completely androgynous and pretty
but sometimes i just don't care cause i'm hot as fuq
yep

>>385847
o/

>>385849
\o

>>385849
>>385854
o/\o ???nanchos????

>>385855
i owe my life to nanchos

>>385837
Shhhh we dont talk about that show

>>385865
What show?

>>385870
Stargate Universe, Awful show, but it had Janelle Monae.

literally the best thing you can say about it.

Janelle Monáe - Electric Lady (Full Album)

>>385871
SU's problem was that it was trying to be Lost in Space. It had a great premise, and the cast was alright, but they made 100% of the show interaction between characters instead of alien races. It actually started improving a bit at the end before it was canned, but that was probably for the best.

Hoo boy

hey im having a sale on prints and stuff on my store
https://beesmygod.storenvy.com/
use coupon code CONCRUD to get 10% off
ok thank you

>>385872
It was a mercy killing in every sense of the term, just like Enterprise.

>>385875
Ordered!

>>385871
>>385872
Battlestargate was neat but too grimdark and too much trying to be other shows instead of continuing what made Stargate great (Atlantis was never good).

>>385881
>atlantis was never good

Playing Fallout New vegas was a huge mistake.

I have way too much shit to do

>>385881
>Atlantis was never good

guys help im so

>>385221
>>385733
Sorry for not signing in, the two posts above are mine.

So how I thought that the higher-ups blinked first and let those who wanted to take PTO off around Thanksgiving could? Yeah...well...

We're still allowed the PTO, but now that the pre-holiday season rush is hitting customer support nice and hard, the higher-ups are waffling on whether or not to grant us overtime. This past week, we've been treading water on emails because the other team of customer support in the midwest has several people quit over the past month, and they have yet to be replaced so we're starting to feel the strain.

When our boss heard we were treading water, he told the higher-ups...and the higher-ups responded by granting 8 hours of overtime to the entire customer support department, to be split amongst workers. So two people from my team and two people from the other team were able to work 2 hours of overtime each this weekend.

How the fuck are we supposed to give "best in class customer service" when the emails and phone calls are stacking up faster than we can solve them, and we're understaffed without working overtime? By the time I get into work tomorrow, we'll probably have over 500 emails which are over 5 days old from customers needing help. That is not best-in-class customer service response time - that is a sign of department going underwater and needs some form of help, be it new people to help share the load, or the okay for overtime so we can do what needs to be done.

Part of me wants to apply for promotions day-in-day-out when I'm not actively working, and part of me wants to get through this last holiday season without leaving the fantastic people I work with in the lurch, and a third part of me wants to go full dominatrix on the higher-ups and be like "UNACCEPTABLE, MAGGOTS!" And give them an ass-beating for not realizing that Customer Support is one of THE most important divisions in the company...and then I realize that the higher-ups probably don't give any shits, fucks or good god-damns about us in Customer Support because it's also the division where people are the most replaceable.

Today was excruciatingly slooow.

>>385887
The porn industry is always there to help out people like you

>>385899
it's hungrover, from the booze, you dumb.

>>385900

I just toasted the bread for a PB&J

Holy SHIT why has it taken me over 24 years to try this?

>>385905
A whole new woooorrrrrrllld~

>>385905
>Not toasting any sandwich's bread.
Bro, you need to fix that.

Finally have a job again. Forgot how much working makes me feel "grown up."
I don't like it.
I do like money though.
Maybe I'll just marry rich.

i won't kill you but i don't have to save you etc
bye

>>385919
oh no, i've driven him away
shame on me

>>385905
>lived on this planet 24 years
>haven't toasted the bread

jesus god what is happening to this generation

>>385918
I'm the opposite. I like good work, but I don't really like money. I just don't want people to worry about me being homeless.

>Merely toasting breads and sandwiches.
Savagery.

>>385925
I like good work, too. No one is hiring me for good work, though. People are hiring me to cashier and sweep.
Although I don't think I'd even like good work if I had to do it for half of my day, 5 days a week. That's kind of why I'm having difficulty choosing a career to pursue, I can't decide what would make me least miserable after 20 years of doing it.

>>385926
you would grill a pb&j

really

>>385928
i have "grilled" a pb&j in the same way that you grill a grilled cheese
a+ would recommend
peanut butter and banana cooked the same way is even better

Woo!
In a few hours, I'll have gone for TWO WHOLE WEEKS un-fapped.
Aaah.

I've passed a personal test. At least now I know I can definitely go on a reality show.

When I get home, I'm SO having a time...

>The rumor mill suggests that my department is coming under heavy review by the client and potential eventual liquidation

yaaaaaa

>>385930
>only two weeks

Now try for a month.

>>385930
Oh. And I've been writing scripts for porn comics all week.
Maybe some revisions would be in order. :D

...Man, I dunno if I would've even written and planned as many as I did had I been distracting myself all the tiime.

>>385932
Maybe when I'm not alone writing porn comics nearly 24/7.

Hey Mindwipe,
when you get a chance I need your help with something. Is there a way I can get a hold of you? E-mail or something.

I think I have an inferiority complex.

>>385949
Oh shut up. You're fantastic.

>>385949
What >>385951 said.
You have to stop being such a little shit and realize that you're a wonderful human being who is deserving of love and praise, you dumb fuck.

>>385930
>>385933
>>385934
Well.

Seems I didnt take the hormonal changes of fapping after 2 weeks into account.
...
Wasn't as fun a time as I thought it'd be.

>>385956
Really? You should elaborate in as much detail as possible.

i have spent an ungodly amount of money on power tools and building supplies in the last month

but damn building shit is so much fun and at least now i have a hobby that my parents cant say "arent you a bit old for that lol?"

>>385947

Oh wow, If it wasn't for >>385956's post I never would have looked through the Speak Your Mind and seen >>385947!

Anyways Teeth, my email is GundamMaxter at gmx.com.

PS Grilled peanut butter & jelly sandwiches are great, my family always makes a stack of them and grilled cheese sandwiches when we have soup. It's ridiculously easy too, just make the sandwich regularly, put some butter on the outside and heat it in a pan.

I'm so done with college right now.

I'm genuinely failing physics, which makes it the first class I've ever gotten below a B (about 5 other seniors in my class are failing as well so it's a common theme in this class). My senior thesis research is shitty and I don't know what to do to fix it. I really don't feel like reading any more about the topic and I still have one more semester of this.

I need a vacation.

>>385978

Go masturbate, have a few beers, play some video games, or whatever else you enjoy. And get a good night's sleep. Then handle tomorrow when it gets here.

Sometimes you just need to calm down and wait for solutions to present themselves.

One of the last conversations I had with one of my professors last semester was about how I made it. I had a shit-ton of work due before I could graduate, and when I handed my final project in, I just couldn't believe that I got it done. Just two weeks before I was dreading the workload I had, but somehow, I made it in the end and graduated.

Just hang in there and power through.

Holy fucking shit it's easy to manipulate tumblr nerd emotions.
I need to be careful.

Doom, Pablo, why are you writing for DC Entertainment?

>>385987
haha neat. I should read the newer Swamp Things, always been a favorite classic of mine.

why is doom credited, did you steal another idea, brett

>>385981
I went to bed early and I'm feeling better now, as silly as that sounds. Thanks for the advice anon.

>>385990

No problem. And it's not silly. A good night's rest does wonders for your mood sometimes. Always take the time to rest and take care of yourself. A little rest and relaxation can go a long way in preventing breakdowns. Whenever I'm in a pissy mood, it's usually one of the first things my sister asks me.

"Anon, are you getting enough sleep?"

>>385992
There's new evidence that the body uses sleep as the opportunity to "clean" the brain, flushing stuff that builds up in there that it can't clean while parts of the brain are being used or something. That's likely why people feel like crap after not sleeping long enough.

I've never had a real good night's sleep, but these past two weeks have been especially bad. I got to bed at a decent time last night and almost had a good nights sleep, except something woke me up at 5:30 AM for a bit. I'm an incredibly light sleeper. :I

Well, since you're talking about sleep...

>woke up two minutes before my alarm
>mfw this happens every day

I could kiss you all and rise up as a great black pavement road to dark impertinent destinies. I should stop eating animal cookies.

real though like i just wanna fuckin cuddle
just some no strings attached holdin-each-other-while-we-doze
gosh darn.

Welp, another uneventful disappointing Halloween comes to an end.

>whole day at work is nothing but candy and tacos while we touch up our projects.
>Make new friend
>Get to hand out candy to kids including one dressed as Finn and a girl dressed as Trafalgar Law. Last piece of candy goes to a little hispanic girl on her first Haloween.
>Friends call me over for party.
>My black friend dresses like a funky disco man, my hispanic friend grabs a poncho and sombrero, I wear the most white douche clothes I can find and we run full speed with it.
>Went to a karaoke bar. Don't sing but have a blast.
>Back home, my obscure fetish crap is well liked amongst those into it.
>One of my fans makes a fantastic piece pertaining to it.

Fuck yes, that was the best Halloween ever.

>>386025
>Back home, my obscure fetish crap is well liked amongst those into it.

...go on.

And take it to the sex thread if you need to. Spare no details.

What's with nerds and their obsession with Emma Stone?

>>386034
I don't see her getting any more attention than anyone else.

And, uh, like every other female celebrity people fawn over, she's attractive.

I cant get my mind off this horrible woman that wouldn't let me merge onto the highway today. Gesturing angrily and honking when I tried to get in.
It's not your road you vile witch. You need to let people take their turn. Pardon my language but she was a real bitch.

So I follow a cosplayer on Facebook (Eve Beauregard) because hey, why not have pictures of a sexy lady dressed up in cosplay show up in my feed now and then.

But she just posted her mailing address to everyone. Thankfully it's a P.O. Box, so the risk isn't as great, but I hate to think what kinds of weird shit she's going to get...

>>386040
She probably already gets a ton of weird crap just online. Putting yourself into a position of public appreciation, that is, showing off her cosplay because she likes to cosplay, not everyone takes that right, and probably didn't before she even posted the P.O. Box. at least she knows to protect herself.

>>386044
>She probably already gets a ton of weird crap just online.
Absolutely. I don't know her income, but I wouldn't be surprised if she has someone else check her public mail for her so she can avoid as many dick pics as possible.

But the worst that someone can send her online is a dick pic. Maybe a virus to hack into her webcam, if they're smart about it and she has one.

But now! Now she can receive cum-stained underwear, software or hardware with malware on it (an easier infection vector if she doesn't pay attention to such things) or worse. So I hope she knows the potential of what she's doing...

>>386047
I think she appreciates the potential, and I also think you're kind of overplaying some of the issues. I don't think the worst thing she can get is a picture of someones' dick, I think it's the hatred and the vitriol people would give her for what she does, especially from men who are still stuck seeing a public display like that as simply a display of sexuality, and not something more complex than a repressed need for dick.

There's even a level where she might actually kind of enjoy the dick pics. Not everyone is the same and not everyone has the same experience, and getting random pictures of cocks is kind of creepy, yes. But there's also the aspect where sexual interest can be shown without being acted upon. It's nice to have admirers, and for some people it can be really kind of exciting to know that you illicit that kind of response in people. The difficult part is where it isn't always welcome, or when the interest comes from somebody you can't see yourself caring about. That and, it's kind of hard to really feel anything from pictures of anonymous cocks other semi-vague arousal and disgust. I don't think those are intrinsically damaging to her so much as damning on the part of those who send them. If that's the only way you can communicate with a woman, that's the only way you'll every be thought of; an anonymous prick.

I don't see sending cum-stained underwear as anything really more terrible than a dick pic. Unpleasant, gross, and possibly a biohazard, but not really terrible on the whole level of things. I also think that in an age where everything in computing is distributed through downloads, she'd know better than to load funky software she got in the mail on her computer. People who run hacks and Remote Access Tools (RATs) to spy on other people generally do so through centralized software platforms, and tend to try and do so to multiple different victims, not just concentrating on a select few semi-notable individuals. And the infection paths for that are again, better accomplished over-the-wire than through snail-mail.

I'd be more worried about things like miniature effigies made out of hair, or distinctly disturbing images that have elements of real danger about them. I'm reminded of an author on twitter who had a baby with his wife, and due to some of his work, one of his detractors posted a photoshopped picture of their child surrounded by gore and viscera (this is actually an emerging aspect of law. How do you respond when someone seemingly anonymous threatens you in a truly unnerving fashion?). Dick pics and lurid messages are creepy and gross but there are things I would be much more concerned with, and I think a lot of that is mitigated by the P.O. Box, instead of a home address or the address of a friend. I think she's fairly aware of what she's doing and she's probably had to deal with it for years already.

>>386048
> I also think you're kind of overplaying some of the issues
Quite possible; I'm highly cynical.

>I think it's the hatred and the vitriol people would give her for what she does
That's true. I also forgot about the absolute hatred that flows in the con/cosplay scene, mainly from women (or so I'm lead to believe) to criticize every little thing about a costume or person in the most vile way possible.

In short, she's braver and/or more trusting than I for giving a physical address. (Though she already was as her career is putting on often-revealing outfits and going into public, then posting images of such on the web.)

it is a very real possibility that i'm crushing on a softcore porn model
this is the furthest thing from keikaku imaginable
she's just so cute and her smile makes my kokoro go all doki doki it's ridiculous this is the stupidest thing ever

>>386054

Give us a name

I need it

for... research purposes...

>>386055
unless you're Moe it's highly probable that you aren't interested
and if you are Moe then haha oh boy have i got a lady to show you

>>386056
I'M MOE SHOW ME THE GOODS

>>386057
man if it ain't your thing, remember that i gave fair warning

>>386058
I was worried she might be missing a limb or something. She looks cute.

>>386058

That hotel room is pig disgusting.
0 out 5. Would not sleep in.

>>386058
Kinda reminds me of Paz De La Huerta, only there's a good chance she isn't a terrible human being like Paz is.

>>386061
>non-terrible human beings might exist
Oh my, you have grown optimistic.

>>386062
Not all people are terrible. Just you guys.

Between schoolwork taking up my time and cutting back on internet usage, I've been struck with a tremendous and insurmountable feeling of loneliness that's driving me up a wall.

>>386063
Thank you, I try very hard.

Making friends is hard. Try being really loud. You might just get to being heard.

>>386064
Thanks. I'm getting better at opening up to people.

Also, I saw a faceless nude on Tumblr that looks like a girl I knew in high school, so now I'm trying to sleep with her to figure out if it was actually her.

I'm like a modern day George Costanza.

>>386065
That seems the best way to go about it. Probably not the quickest, smartest, or safest way, but the best nonetheless.

>>386058
what's so terrifying about a completely normal, naked woman

my life is so good rn like god dAMN

>>386067
nothing, but lots of people tend to react with disgust. it kinda bothers me a lot.
>>386062
>>386063
>>386064
>>386065
>>386066
I like you two a lot and I'm glad I get to experience you, even if it's at the level of an internet-acquaintance.

It's official, I'm a artist doodler again.

wow, haven't had nothing to do on a saturday night in quite a while

Is this website dying down? There's a lot less posts lately.

>>386072
Is she going to play that with her vagina?

>>386073
Seen it in Thailand

>>386072
seems like most of the old regulars have moved on. And there's not as much traffic being driven towards the site unlike when it initially was up. Also the SRS BZNS in the politics thread may have driven away some people.

>>386072
I think the 500 errors drove a lot of people away; a few might have come back when they were fixed, but not most.

Yo Teeth, I still haven't received anything from you, if you tried sending me a message.

i look really good tonight
i felt like i should share

>>386079
Mindwipe,
I haven't sent anything yet. I'll do it after my ulcers stop forcing me to curl up into a ball and wishing for death.
Around a week I think. Sorry for the trouble.

>>386091

Not a problem, I just didn't want you to send something and then wonder why I never responded back. Hope you feel better soon.

was considering going back to america
who can i visit

>>386093
Are you coming back to New York?

>>386094
if i was to actually do it yes i would like to come back to new york

>>386090
Are you a vampire?

> In a rut
> Want to RP with someone, but usual chat boards are dead.
> Friend suggests going to omegle.
> Why not?
> Three hours of being dumped for being a dude.
> Only meet six or seven women.
> Five of them were under sixteen.
> With the exception of one of them, they wanted a story centring around incest and rape.
> Only one story gets near to "finishing", likely because she got her rocks off and had enough of me.
> mfw.

>>386098
why, big/sharp canines?
i've gotten a lot of comments on those lately