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No. 384235
blargh
Why is grad school application stuff so confusing and exhausting :( I finally got my list of (ten) schools I want to apply to for computer science, focusing on computer graphics and virtual reality and all that fun visualization/simulation stuff, and some days it feels like "yeah this is doable" and other days it's like "god why would any of these schools ever take me, i really just want to go and do research and work on new problems forever so a PhD sounds good, but will any school ever take me as a PhD student with next to no real research experience, maybe I should just apply as a Master's student and get some experience first, but then the schools only rarely help MS students financially even for TA positions like seriously just let me teach I'd be good at it and would try really hard and I have teaching experience, but at almost all the schools it sounds like if an MS student gets anything it's just the dregs and I don't know if I can afford that, so I'll apply to a couple Canadian universities because I hear rumors that they are slightly kinder to Master's students, and maybe I'll try to hedge my bets and apply for some as MS and some as PhD, oh god do I need to mention that to my recommenders since they'll probably get a mention of what kind of program i'm doing when they get the email and they'll probably think I'm just an unconfident person feebly trying to game the system which I am and none of this makes sense, I just want to get into working on new stuff for humanity instead of working on gluing together yet another boring corporate enterprise middleware web app but i don't know if I'm good enough to play with the big boys or rich enough to play with the slightly-less big boys how do i move forward like at all"
Today's one of the second kind of days. :(
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