Getting a lot better at recognizing faces. Whoop whoop.

Still relatively shit at it, though.

>>384999
the only chance for this to be a good idea is the the escort is almost like a companion from firefly and builds a really good rapport with you. like something that could be meaningful, if only briefly.

you'll know if it's authentic. anyway, i don't think it's the best idea but i've sorta wished for the same for my report. he's gotten a bit more friendly with women than you, but not by much.

>>385001
I've heard a tenga is a also a good idea for virgins because if you use your hand you can get in the habit of doing a "death grip" that a real vagina can't manage, and it can make it sex more awkward once it does happen.

>>385001
>people put so much importance on the concept of virginity, damn

It's not really about "boohoo I'm a virgin" and more about me wanting to know what the experience of having sex is like. I'm sick of imagining it, I want to know.

>>385004
I've never heard of these tenga things before.
>google it
>it's a sex toy
Oh, okay.

>In 2008, comic artist Butcha U drew a picture depicting the masturbators as fictional girls (a form of moe anthropomorphism). Tenga Co., Ltd. gave permission to make this concept into a commercial project; and in 2010, the concept was expanded into an electronic comic series titled Tengirls, published by Sony Digital Entertainment Services Inc. The story features a team of girls resembling the Tenga products, who fight against crimes and disasters that occur in a near-future city.

This is the best hero origin story I've ever heard.

>>385003
Technically, escorts aren't prostitutes, and you are legally bared from touching them when you hire them out for the evening.

Untechnically, most men who regularly engage the services of escorts have a lot of disposable income and not a lot of traits that would normally attract women to them. An escort is technically on your dime until the time's up, unless you want to pay more. That doesn't mean that they'll do everything you say. They are still reasoning people with rational thoughts, and legality issues standing between you and them. How far they'll let a client go is up to them.

That said, if your mom is considering hiring one for you, I wonder what your particular malfunction is? I mean, it's not everyday someone's mom goes "look, I will pay girls to be near you".

>Completed the fuck huge -My Kingdom- template
I'm inordinately proud and a bit sad.

>>385004
It might not just be the death grip. There's questions about what the proliferation of porn has done to the male psyche over the last 20 or so years. Smut and human sexual relations have been around for a long time, but never has sexuality been in the public consciousness like this, and porn has never been available like this to so many users. What that means for society is still the subject of debate.

What sort of program can I get to cycle desktop backgrounds?

>>385057
Windows. Or OSX. Linux can probably do it, too.

>as a final step of registering your e-mail, please give us an e-mail address we can send your password to in case you forget it

...
i need to take my own advice: if you wish ill will toward someone else, first check what's wrong within yourself.

oof.

>>385060

>>385069
It's a standard feature in windows 7. I believe there may be some specific programs to do it for XP. If you need it for Vista, you need to either kill yourself or upgrade. OSX should probably have that feature by default as well (not sure), and every screenchanger I've used on Linux has been kind of a piece of crap, though they are out there.

>>385071
>tfw my grandma gave her computer to uncle's stepson to fix
>tfw he installed Vista

>>385072
>he installed Vista
>that GIF is 1.27MB

>>385071
Honestly you could probably just write a Bash script using symbolic links on a Cron schedule to do it in Linux, without needing any sort of app at all. Assuming it's not a built-in feature in one of the desktop GUIs.

>>385072
Y'know what's funny is that some people still defend Vista, usually home users who have never had to do any real heavy lifting, computing-wise. They've never had their machine break on them, so they don't see what the fuss is.

And the fuss is that often when Vista broke, there was no explicable reason. In some cases it was the hardware, but in some cases it just blew a gasket or something nearly inexplicable.

>>385071
>It's a standard feature in windows 7
Good. That's coming in Thursday. I'll just bide my time then.

Also, don't tell Tiki you're shitting on Vista.

Most of the Vista hate is leftover, obsolete complaints about its shitty launch period when none of the drivers or programs worked and the UAC was in "Maximum obnoxiousness mode." Honestly at this point it's not that different from Windows XP or Windows 7 in terms of stability, though it's a little worse at resource management than either.

>>385084
Did they ever do anything about the "system32 folder will randomly corrupt itself for no goddamn reason" error?

>>385086
Yeah, the trick is to stop going to porn sites with Flash enabled.

>>385088
No I'm serious that's a real error and the distinction between going to porn sites with flash enabled and going to not-porn sites with flash enabled is arbitrary, and presented even on computers with no flash.

That's the thing about Vista; when it works, no problem. When it doesn't they still don't know what the fuck happened.

fyi you are more likely to get viruses from legit sites or chain emails than you are by surfing porn sites. Porn sites being labeled as attack sites means that their revenue stream dries up. Discretion is more important to youporn than say, facebook.

>>385092
Not sure I understand the logic that porn sites that have malware will see their revenue streams dry up, but legit sites that have malware won't?

>>385098
Not sure how correct it it, but I'm guessing >>385092 means if a non-porn site gets malware, they can blame it on hackers or a bad advertiser and generally people accept that, but a legit porn site risks being mistaken for a hastily thrown together credit card scam/spyware site that happens to use porn to lure people in. For instance, Deviantart had problems with malicious ads for a while and people put up with it, and while there is some porn in there, albeit limited in some ways to skirt around rules, the same problem with Hentaifoundry, Paheal, or especially porn sites with live actors instead of drawn smut would send people running. Also, why are you phrasing things in a way that implies porn sites are inherently illegitimate?

>>385103
*not sure how correct I am

>Sonic confirmed for Smash Bros
>Mighty No. 9 about to hit 4 million in pledges
>Valve trademarks Half-Life 3
>4chan's birthday
>Government shutdown

Jesus christ what's going on?

Man, I got, like
no internet at home.
Shit suuuucks.

I keep thinking of short little comments and stupid little insights and long-ass apologies to people I owe them to and keep thinking I'm gonna get on it all once I get access to internet but I just go 'eh' and laze around.

I'm through being depressing on here. I feel this place's got enough with Slowpoke doin' it, anyway. And my own personal buffer, too. Can't forget that.

>>384937
at least you have super networking powe--no srsly get better dood.

>>385113
>>Government shutdown
Oh, and about this. Man, I hope this leads to some form of the US dividing or something, cos I mean, damn.
I saw a fuckin' documentary about the history of the US and how they got so much of their land and shit? Yeah, well I mean
fuck any society built on fucking Imperialism. And not just the US, yknow. Just fuck 'em all. And sure, there's no real country with a chaste history or whatever, but man, the stuff there and the sort of de-humanization on all fuckin' non-white ethnicities was just upsetting.
Like, fucking white supremacist shit going on.

>>385116
Disregarding a metric fucktonne of what you posted, but I'm fairly sure the 'merrican oblasts states are a little bit on the economic, culturally and/or politically entrenched side to separate again.

>>385103
This is essentially correct. Porn sites run off Ad Revenue and subscription payments, and often their advertisements are self-referential, trying to get you to subscribe to one porn "network" or another, like Brazzers, or Naughty America.

Facebook, Deviantart, and the like though, have to directly engage 3rd party advertisers for profit. As such, sometimes they look a little less closely at what is getting cross-linked in the sidebars of their sites. Sites like these also have a higher standard userbase, meaning more potential targets for automated attacks, though given the role that companies like Google are trying to play in locking down International Virus Threats and hacking attempts, users have to worry a little less about those now, and more about spam email attacks. And of course, there are some malicious porn sites out there, but they really don't catch as much honey as slipping malicious ads into a community site or pulling some social engineering through email. You have to stumble over them, rather than load them in the regular course of your day.

>>385116
Wait, wasn't Mexico built on imperialism too? I mean for all there are plenty of brown people down there, you don't see many Aztecs or Mayans running around Tijuana.

>>385127
All of the modern Americas was built on imperialism. As were the aztecs, and most other civilizations in the world. We just have better record keeping and a more pronounced presence.

If you think anything is creepier than tiajuana wax museum Obama, you are wrong

the last thing i wanted after having ~9 hours of sleep in the past two days and spending twice that long in the same courthouse as a lady desperately trying to allow a child-molester to have unsupervised access to my niece
and only being halfway done with being in that courthouse with her
is to be lectured for insulting her.
i called her a bitch and i kind of regret it but like, i only regret saying it? i still think it and do not feel bad for it. but i probably shouldn't have said it.

>>385130
Cave their skulls in with a brick.

>>385130
>a lady desperately trying to allow a child-molester to have unsupervised access to my niece
In what way would this ever be considered okay?
Who the hell would even want that and more importantly why?

>>385134
I can guess but I don't really want to step on toes

I'd like to quit work.

I don't mean find another job somewhere else, I don't mean change professions or go back to school, but just quit. That's it, period, the end, fin. Only reason I continue working is debt. And it's not even just having debt, it's that my mom is a co-signer on some of that debt. If I could pay that debt off I'd stop caring about the rest. Or anything.

But I don't. Part of the reason being that shared debt, but a larger part being fear of the unknown. "Whimsical traveling hobo" has a nice ring to it, but there's guarantee that's where I'd end up.

However, I'm pretty sure I'm deteriorating psychologically. The main indicators are a complete lack of interest in anything (I get occasional spurts here and there, but no driving force/goal) and my speech tripping up. I used to be a fairly eloquent speaker with a decent vocabulary, but now I have to correct myself at least once for every two or three sentences, or just stop mid-sentence because I've suddenly forgotten the word I wanted to use next. (This may actually be related to the use of nasal steroids back in Basic Training, though I've no proof of such.) So I'm hoping that one day I lose the capability to understand the unknown, and on that day I can release myself from all this.

>>385139
Let's start a traveling hobo band.

>>385140
I don't know how to play any instrument. :(

>sent in resume
>currently not looking but have job opening next month
>will keep resume

I feel absolutely neutral on this.

>>385134
She's an attorney, defending my sister's ex-husband, who molested his daughter.
This isn't even a case that will end in criminal charges, it's just about making sure he doesn't get visitation.
>>385132
A good suggestion, but I don't think I'll take it.
>>385137
??

>If a mental/emotional disorder is the same as a physical ailment, then I should be able to live with my depression and anxiety and not get treatment the same way a fat person doesn't have to go to the gym if they're comfortable in their body. If I feel best when I'm allowed to try to kill myself every now and then, then that's my decision and my life and my identity and no one has the right to make me change.
>flood of agreements and support

i swear to god i'm going to set my generation on fire

>>385147
Is this a thing tumblr people actually believe?

The fuck.

>>385149
i hope to fuck it's ONLY tumblr people

Please excuse a vent.

My Mother has become a manipulative bitch queen that feeds on guilt and shame with no intention of observing her own faults. As unfortunately common as that seems to be.
She set up a house rule, everyone needs to put their dishes in the washer when we're done. Simple and reasonable request right?

Well, one night I forgot to put my bowl away. She gets on me about how disappointing it is to come home to a clean kitchen. As if she worked any more than I did. As if my other contributions, all the other times when I've done everything right where pointless against this act. This all coming after the fact that I've had to recover my parents dirty dishes several times already. Whatever, that's fine, I'll deal with it.

Then, two weeks pass. I notice the sink is filled and the machine is empty. Again. It seems they're not as committed to their rules unless they apply to me. I mention the sink's full to them in a joking manner. She asks me to fill it while she's splayed on the couch, wine in hand watching whatever cheap sitcom trash they have on local cable. I smirk and say she should do it as she's not up to anything.

She saw it as an attack, like she seem to see everything I say that isn't a glowing example of goodie goodie perfect son bullshit I've been guilted into doing throughout my childhood. Goes on this tangent about how I need to help out my father who was working on his feet for two days, while he's just asking that I take care of my own dishes and he can take care of the rest. She goes on about giving me a roof and food and carpooling (Though it's not exactly my fault their cars broke down and my brother had to borrow my own for the snowy roads of north Texas while he finishes college.)

I silently do the remaining dishes and move up stairs. Then she pages me to throw more crap like "how dare I be happy to get out of not helping the family." Not letting me say a word. Waiting till I just gave up.

If I call out her bullshit even a little, she gets extremely defensive. Asking why everyone's attacking her, telling us how unfair it is that she has to be the bad guy. Even tearing up a bit for cheap sympathy. Well I'm out of it. She took it all away and all that's left is bitterness.

Nine times out of ten she's perfectly nice and kind, but as soon as you step out of like it's time to go on the guilt trip. She's an emotional leech and my respect for her is very quickly eroding. She's always encouraged me to go for big things, and make requests, but as soon as I move out of bounds she uses those acts of charity as leverage against me. Fine. I have been, the PERFECT son for you in the past God damn 23 years. Obedient, a good listener, charitable, well behaved, softly spoken, I have avoided all manner of drugs and alcohol. God almighty forbid I make a simple mistake. If you don't want to respect me, I'll hold no respect for you. I don't care that you're trying to look like the perfect mother with the perfect family to one up your own shitty childhood, but you fail to realize that you're basically as manipulative as your own mom.

I want to leave and finally live a life of my own, but I have no means to do so All my money goes into rent, my car, and student loans. So I'm essentially trapped in a gilded cage of sorts. But the walls are spiked.

>>385146
Didn't know who it was exactly, I thought it was the husband, but I didn't want to concoct some wild story and have it offend someone.

>>385152
Grain of salt, but, sometimes it helps to push back, define your own space. Not get violent, but, a little angry, with a solid list of grievances, and just to let 'em have it, full blast.

I know that doesn't really work against people like that but the thing is, if you never blow up, if you never get angry, if you never let them know that there is something horribly wrong with how they're treating you, they just keep treating you like that. They just keep walking on you. You have to make space for yourself to exist otherwise you'll be miserable.