/a/ Avatar Archived Board plus4chan home [baw] [co/cog/jam/mtv] [coc/draw/diy] [pco/coq/cod] [a/mspa/op/pkmn] [Burichan/Futaba/Greygren]
[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [First 100 posts]
Posting mode: Reply
Name
Email
Subject   (reply to 104442)
Message
File
Password  (for post and file deletion)

Currently 0 unique user posts.

News
  • 08/21/12 - Poll ended; /cod/ split off as a new board from /pco/.

File 133961305744.jpg - (69.13KB , 1024x768 , DSC02834.jpg )
104442 No. 104442
After the episode "Out of the Past", there's been a lot of criticism of Korra's writing on /co/. The episode handled certain subplots in a very sudden, awkward fashion, which bothered a lot of viewers. Also, many people realized that the writing issues didn't just suddenly come out of the blue; they've actually been a consistent theme throughout the series so far. Plotpoints get rushed, characters are behaving oddly, or things aren't properly explained on-screen.

Often when people are criticising a creative work, someone gets defensive and will state "well why don't _you_ try to do it better". So let's try to make Korra better.

It's like this: Legend of Korra is right now under production, and Bryke have hired you to assist in writing the script. They've showed you some concept art of characters and Republic City themes, as well as a script/draft that details everything we've seen in the past episodes. What now? Which parts of the script are the weakest and could use some improvements? What kinds of changes and suggestions do you have in your mind?

Also, be sure to remember that you've been hired to write twelve episodes. You have no idea if the series will be successful enough to get a second season, or if these twelve episodes will be all. The series must be able to stand on its own, and it must be streamlined enough to resolve all the major plotlines by the end of the season.

I've got some thoughts but they're very TL;DR, so I'll just post a pastebin.
http://pastebin.com/sHXGpYJq
They're just quick thoughts and not a complete outline of a script, though.
236 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 106448
File 134065897589.png - (309.17KB , 500x390 , just realized korra is rule 63 noatak.png )
106448
>>106441
Even as a big one-episode exposition dump, Noatak and Tarrlok's story hit me hard, especially the boat scene. It would've been goddamn amazing if it were sprinkled bit by bit through the season
>> No. 106450
Overlithe, who's writing I admire a lot, had some idea about a re-write.

http://overlithe.livejournal.com/186671.html
>> No. 106453
I kinda.. didn't get Noatak's whole personality.. Like, I get he wants revenge on everyone for.. whatever flimsy childhood reason, but his whole character after the reveal became very weird to me. We've gone an entire season with this super serious, faceless man who's nothing but a walking idea and movement. As a child he seemed to be a bitter, emotionless husk. He even brought down his own brother and took away his bending without hesitation. Very committed, very meticulous in his planning. But what does he do as soon as everything goes to shit? Kills his second-in-command, goes to get his abused brother and plots to run away cackling like a madman on a speedboat Scarface-style.
Is that really in character with what we've seen of him? IS there even a character that we've seen of him? In the end he just came off as some bratty kid with daddy issues that decided to begin babby's first class revolution to me. Which is a bit lackluster, I guess.

Maybe it's one of those things that I have to watch more than once to fully get, but as of now I'm kinda.. shell-shocked at the whole Noatak side.
>> No. 106460
>>106450
Stopped reading as soon as it got to "yes I know this basically makes Korra a vampire BUT"
>> No. 106463
>>106450
I dunno what he/she did to get your admiration, but that was all fairly retarded.
>> No. 106464
>>106450
This belongs to the fandumb thread.
>> No. 106484
>>106450
> Basically, what happens is that Asami’s mother is still killed by a bender, but in a more realistic/disturbing way than just burglars-gotta-burglar (and actually I want to do something with a bender sibling of hers—Asami’s mum, I mean—because I’m interested in exploring what kind of dynamics you might get with benders and non-benders in the same family).
I think it could do without adding a new character to the mix since it overcomplicates things, but whatever, I'm up for a different method of death (mugging? mistaken identity? those seem more likely to happen than death during a burglary, and fuel more fire against bender gangs, because burglaries are not often tied to gang activity).

> Asami and her dad—well, mostly her dad at first, since Asami is just a kid when it happens—are kinda Alfred Dreyfus-like at this point, in the sense that they did everything right and placed their faith in the system, because if you work hard enough, things are fair, aren’t they, only to then discover that the punchline to that particular joke is that at the end of the day? You’re still just another [expletive]. So they start off by being just Justice For [Her Name—lol, got to come up with something there], all very polite and working within the system, and then they progressively find out that their nice polite letters and petitions and whatnot get them shit.
OK, I like this, it sets up Hiroshi to get increasingly desperate in a clearer way if he was constantly working to find the people who murdered his wife and bring them to justice. I think even if there were papers with her face taped on city walls in the background as Korra explored it that would give a lot of emotional depth to Hiroshi, and it wouldn't be as weird for him to do a complete 180 when he was revealed as an Equalist; we'd already know he's still deep in grief over the loss of his wife, even though it'd been many years, and from Asami we would know it was the triads who took her. Granted it would probably be more obvious that he was working with Amon, but it's not like we weren't expecting it in canon anyway (the actually shocking reveal was that Asami didn't).

> The total failure of the justice system progressively radicalises them, especially Asami, and so they start being more overtly political, to the point that eventually they get together with other people with grievances, start realising that shit is systemic, and it all ends up as a coalition movement that’s not just about non-bender oppression but also about regime change for Republic City and other interconnected issues.
Uh, no. And here comes this tumblr projection bullshit again. It was never shown there was any systemic oppression at all--rather the opposite, with the sympathetic bender characters being streetrats and the nonbender being one of the richest people in the city. The council at the time was composed of benders, but that is untrue historically because Sokka had the main seat. Amon targeted the poor sector--a large portion of Republic City given its gang problems--who wanted someone to blame for their poverty (sorry for godwinning this thread, but this is how Hitler came to power, he took a nation suffering a massive economic crisis after losing WWI and gave them a target to unload their misery on; namely a certain minority group nevertheless considered well-off because they held some prominent positions in media and banks and such) AND people who have been personally affected by the triads and gang-related violence in the city. He manipulated them, lied to them, and fed off their fears and grief. In reality, there was no systemic oppression at all, it was all manufactured.

Honestly, if you actually believed Amon's rhetoric despite being shown evidence to the contrary, all that really says about you is that you can be very easily manipulated when someone frames a conflict in a black-and-white "someone is being oppressed, YOU are being oppressed" way. Even by a cartoon character who is sending out all kinds of "I'm a bad guy don't trust me" signals! That's actually a really bad thing lmao.

> So [Korra]’s not the Avatar here.
I'm out.

However this "saved by a spirit out in the wastes" might actually work for Amon. Tarrlok did say he and Yakone thought Noatok had probably frozen and died after running away. If he HAD entered the spirit world on the verge of death and found one who gave him a new name, a new trick, and the strength to keep going after hearing his story, I think that jives with everything we've seen in canon and satisfies the spirit world involvement wish everyone had. I'm not sure how we could fit that into the canon timeline however.

Perhaps instead of Aang's memories, it's that guilty spirit trying to contact Korra about Yakone and Amon's true identity?
>> No. 106488
>>106484
and ok those are the only strong points here, it just devolves into nonsense the more you read. omfg this person basically rewrote it so that amon is the hero and has nothing in common with his canon self at all? they don't like korra so now she is a bad guy who kills people to sustain her powers? the equalist movement is Right and people (aka lin beifong) are out-of-character antagonists because they want order instead of revolution?

what is this shit, this is horrible
>> No. 106490
>>106488
That's misguided social justice warriors for you. Once their mind equates beinding with privilege there's no turning back.
>> No. 106504
>>106490
I was hearing Springtime for Hitler as I read it. Like, if Amon had been defeated but not unmasked by Korra, and Korra herself was out of Republic City's eye, 30 years later a deranged ex-Equalist would pen this AU fanfiction and try to get it on Republic City's version of Broadway.

Republic City was having trouble, what a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore its former glory
Where, oh, where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me
...
>> No. 106508
>>106504

Springtime for Amon and the Equalists
Winter for Korra and Friends
>> No. 106522
The fact that there’s so much debate centered around how the audience is suppose to “read” the actions of the Equalists and Amon as justified social rebellion or just a bunch of criminals terrorizing a city, speaks to several issues in the show’s writing and presentation of conflict more than anything else.

Now, I’m not saying every show needs to strive for grey-against-grey, in fact, in the case of Korra I think that was precisely the problem. But, we never see Korra ponder on how or why Amon was able to attract so many followers in the first place, nor do we firmly establish if there is or is not genuine inequality and oppression facing non-benders within the city at all. We never have that moment where Korra or another protagonist clarifies that while the Equalists may have valid complaints; their actions are still dangerous or ill-informed/being explicitly manipulated by Amon and must be stopped. It’s one of the times where I’d say the show could have benefited from a basic black and white “good versus evil” distinction between Korra and her primary organized foes.
ATLOA used the very simply premise of a young boy traveling the globe while training in order to defeat an evil emperor to tell an interesting and complex story of human relations, growth, spirituality. Whereas ATLOK attempts to undertake a fairly complex premise and ultimately fumbles. The show presents a scenario that could have legitimate ethical tension; addressing bender versus non-bender relations as explored through a team of teenagers all of whom represent different tiers and perspectives on society… but ultimately decides to forgo or ignore these arguments.

Furthermore, the ultimate reveal about who Amon really is, his deeper motivations, and how this relates to Yakone and Tarrlok, doesn’t really gel nicely with the concept of any sort of “bending class wars” whatsoever. Because really, the central tension boiled down to two men working through daddy issues while trying to establish who they were and who they weren’t, with Korra and all of Republic City getting caught in the crossfire.

For a re-write suggestion: throw out the “Equalist” angle all together, but keep their design, technology, and abilities. Amon is now not some cult-leader out to rid the world of bending, but rather an extremely brilliant super criminal, simply driven to take control of Republic City. Throw out Noatok’s desire to have everyone being treated fair and equal too, and just have him be a man obsessed with succeeding where his father failed, thus motivated to overtake RC and de-bend the Avatar (the one person he acknowledged as a boy to be more powerful than a mutant bloodbender).

Using his blood-bending (and the border-line psychic powers he’s gained from that), Amon and his army (attracted to Amon due to his natural charisma and his promise of wealth/power) are out to take control of the criminal/impoverished underbelly of Republic City through kidnapping, extortion, media monitoring, and the all important fact that Amon can take peoples’ bending away permanently. Their ultimate goal is to take complete control of the criminal underworld, eventually rising up to control the entirety of the city and turning it into a sort of gangster’s paradise. Tie this in with the new 1920’s aesthetic of ATLOK by having Amon say something like: “The ages of armies and emperors are over. Real power, the right to rule, will come from control over every Big Six and Orchid.”

Yes, Amon can and does still de-bend people, but this is not due to any sort of rhetoric about “cleansing impurity/equalizing”, but rather simply removing the competition and establishing that he is the city’s (and eventually the world’s) most powerful bender. Use this angle to play up and explore Amon’s and Korra’s similarities/differences. Korra is a woman who revels in her strength, loves being topdog, growing stronger, and won’t hesitate to use force to get her way. Like the confrontation between her and Tarrlok in episode 8, have Amon be another villainous mirror for Korra, demonstrating what she could conceivably become like if she doesn’t practice self-discipline, which also ties in nicely to motivate her airbending training.

Speaking of Tarrlok, his actions in-series remain pretty much intact to the original (manipulating the council, creating his task force, attempting to bribe/cajole/kidnap Korra, etc.). However, establish him as another explicit counter-point to Amon and Korra. Tarrlok, now even more so, represents extreme authority and the abuse of power in the name of maintaining social order and control from on high whereas Amon is rapidly growing stronger from the lowerdeck. Tarrlok’s primary motivations are the same as in the original; he wants to be the city’s savior from the realm of law and politics and gain control of it that way (again, because that’s one of the major things daddy couldn’t do). This also might be a good time to do a subtle thematic call back to ATLOA in comparing Yakone/Naotok/Tarrlok to Ozai/Azula/Zuko and all the implications that carries. Like >>106441 said, the audience should learn or be hinted towards the three characters’ relationship sooner to establish more central depth.
Focus more on Korra being caught between these two different but similar types of villains. As a somewhat self-centered and strong willed woman, Korra cannot abide by Tarrlok’s increasingly rigid legislations set on the city, nor does she approve of his attempts to punish and control people. However, she also fears being compared to (or becoming even remotely like) the criminal Amon and the danger he could present to the people/the world. After all, as the Avatar, she has a responsibility to maintain balance and order; this the underlying tension of the show between the heroine and the villains.

Also, I really love what people in this thread have been suggesting about keeping Mako and Bolin’s ties to their criminal background. This could be worked in a lot too with the “Ultimate Mob Boss Amon” thing. Have Mako and Bolin be horrified by Amon’s actions and prospects for conquering Republic City (maybe even have Amon hurt or kill one of the crew they used to run with?), thus motivating them to stop Amon/his men from further destroying their friends/the better elements of the criminal world within the city.
>> No. 106541
All right, here's my monster post about the finale.
I'm gonna separate my thoughts under various subjects, and I'm gonna split this post due to its length. First post will be about miscellaneous things, and after that I'll talk about Korra, her antagonists and the main conflict of the story.


-------------------------------
Minor nitpicky plot grievances
-------------------------------

-The whole city is built on top of vast networks of tunnels. Sato and the equalists have their own tunnels, but so do the city's hobos. It's kind of weird how we keep getting back to secret, secret, secret, secret tunnels.

-Those teeny tiny earthbending discs used in the naval battle. I disliked those discs in pro-bending games and didn't like seeing them again. They didn't seem too useful to me... then again, they can't really carry tons of earth on a ship, so whatever.

-How did Iroh & co just figure out the location of the airbase if they hadn't known about it before? And no one else had noticed the place before?

-Iroh flying around like Ozai felt kinda overpowered. I accepted metalbending and lightning-bending becoming more mainstream (I supposed it's easier to find information about them and thus, more people can learn how to pull them off), and I accepted bloodbending outside full moon (the moon just gives a powerboost, so it might be possible to bloodbend at other times if you're a powerful bender). But the flying felt a bit too much to me. I always thought Ozai was able to do it only due to the comet.
Also, Iroh was left hanging from the flag and never seen again. Wonder if he's still there, forgotten by everyone.

-Bolin, Iroh and Asami walking straight into that electrocution trap, all three at the same time. It was so stupid, and the scene was so quick and sudden. Also, getting caught just delayed their battle with the planes and mechs a bit, and it was a somewhat pointless (almost filler-ish) plot development.
If this scene of them getting caught is really needed, and if we had a Lin/Bolin metalbending mentoring subplot earlier on, this might be the perfect moment for Bolin to do something. If Naga doesn't interrupt the scene, that is.

-The finale trailer had that bit about Bolin against a bunch of mechs... but it turns out that Naga was the one to take them out. Kinda disappointed that Bolin yet again did nothing.

-Bolin ends his contribution to the season by trying to lighten up the mood but getting a cold reaction from everyone. That felt unsatisfying.


-------------------------------
More vital plot grievances
-------------------------------

-Makorra romance still made me cringe. I expected the Asami/Mako relationship to end with a loud, smelly fart to pave way for Makorra, but turns out it was completely silent and odorless breaking wind instead. It wasn't dealt with at all, there was no resolution. All we got was the "I care about you" discussion hinting at a break-up, but we never got an actual break-up. And it felt seriously iffy how Mako apologised that things got crazy between the two; he still couldn't admit he'd made some mistakes, and he didn't apologise for his actions.

-United Forces took screentime from all the main protagonists, but the UF plotline didn't really amount to much. Their forces were quickly defeated, except for Iroh who engaged in the aerial battle that didn't affect the rest of our protagonists. Bumi and his forces got such a quick scene that it seems odd they were included at all. - I'll admit that Iroh and Bumi were nice to see because I'm dying to see any little connection to the Gaang, but when you look at the big picture, those two and the plane battle seemed a bit pointless. Possibly cut them completely to give more time for Korra, Amon and Tarrlok? In episode 10 Tenzin called for help, but what if the power had been cut a little earlier and they failed to send their message? Maybe Tenzin would leave with his family to deliver the message personally, while Korra & co would be on their own, and they'd have to deal with what they've got.

-Asami/Hiroshi confrontation. They actually started to hate each other instead of feeling tormented and conflicted about the whole thing? And holy shit Hiroshi is trying to kill his own daughter? Damn, he's _really_ dedicated to the whole equalist thing. I dunno, this rubbed me the wrong way... AtLA had so many characters who had some kind of Freudian excuse and a grudge with their parents. It kinda upsets me to see yet another instance of an unhealthy parent-child-relationship. I'm almost starting to wonder if Bryke have daddy issues too.

-How did Tenzin and his family get caught off-screen? I felt that them getting caught without the audience ever seeing it - or even getting an explanation about it - was seriously unsatisfying and cheap. It's just unpleasant to have important plot developments take place off-screen and without any kind of handwave at all. Also, Lin's sacrifice turned out to be all for naught. And I'd have preferred to see Pema, Lin and the baby getting broken out of the prison; IMO it was an event that should've taken place on-screen.
In the end I would rather have this whole plot development scrapped. I'd prefer if Tenzin escaped RC to get his family to safety and to call for United Forces. Meanwhile the teen cast tries to hide, but eventually something comes up and they need to deal with the equalists on their own. They could also encounter an imprisoned and de-bent Lin, who joins them for the end battles despite her handicap.

-"Where does Hiroshi find the time to keep inventing new evil machines?". That's a good question... he's rich, okay, but he was a fugitive for a while there. How did he still have his resources? How did he have so much access to money, time, and storage/production locations while still running his own company? And how come the cops never found these locations and compromising evidence back when they were investigating him?


-------------------------------
Looking at things in hindsight
-------------------------------

-I'm wondering a bit if Pema giving birth was actually needed for the story. It was a cute Tenzin family moment, and I like the idea of Pema being pregnant throughout the series, but I'm thinking the childbirth might be cut-worthy so that there'd be more screentime for bigger plot developments.

-Many of the episodes had downer endings. I've read a bunch of people complaining that this was affecting their ability to enjoy the series. They said LoK should've had some more moments of triumph, and a couple of happy endings that didn't leave such a bitter aftertaste. Personally, I can deal with unhappy endings if they're cliffhanger stuff that makes me eager for the next episode. Tarrlok revealing his bloodbending and hauling Korra away in his rapemobile was an ending like that. I dunno about the other endings... I guess many of them were more depressing/apathetic than happy/satisfying or cliffhangery/exciting.

-What are the stakes of the story? This is an important question with fiction. In AtLA, we had a tiny group of kids trying to fight an evil empire. If they were to fail, they would either be killed or imprisoned for life.
In LoK, out heroes are the establishment, and their authority gets challenged by the masses who are planning a revolution. The stakes are this: if Korra and her friends were to lose, they would lose their bending.
Getting depowered from your elemental abilities and taken to the level of a normal human? The bad guys don't even kill people? This stuff just doesn't seem as threatening as the possibility of death, genocide, extinction. Even worse after you've seen the finale; turns out that if Korra just got sad enough, she could've reversed Amon's trick any time.
De-bending doesn't seem very threatening or scary. IMO this is a problem.

-We've come up with a lot of nice ideas for the first half of the season; ideas to make the protagonists more likable and to make their team dynamics work better. A lot of the changes discussed are pretty cosmetic yet still effective.
However, I feel like the second half of the season needs to be torn apart and compiled back together from the scratch. The revelations about Amon and Tarrlok are so major that they should affect pretty much everything.


-------------------------------
Misc notes
-------------------------------

-Someone on /co/ suggested that the finale should have opening narration as an Amon propaganda broadcast (compare to the Tarrlok narration in an earlier episode). I thought that would've been kinda neat and fitting.

-Another suggestion was some kind of "V for Vendetta"/"I am Spartacus" scene with common people wearing Amon's mask. I wish that had happened and it had made Korra realise she can't fight an ideology by punching everyone into the face; she needs to fight it intellectually and win the support of the people.

-I'll admit I was excited to see Zuko's grandkid and to hear a familiar voice (even though it felt unfitting on that particular character), and I'll acknowledge that Bumi had a really great little scene. You got a nice establishing moment for his character in just a couple of seconds, and you instantly knew you wanted to see more of him.
...but yeah, like I mentioned earlier, both characters felt a bit pointless and their screentime should've been used for Korra/Amon/Tarrlok stuff.

-The team separates into Mako+Korra and Bolin+Asami+Iroh who go on their own directions. Reminded me a lot of Sozin's Comet, and I like the idea of the cast separating into their own subplots/battles. Even if I'd like to cut Iroh and the aerial battle, I would like to keep the concept of Bolin+Asami (plus possibly a de-bent Lin) engaging for their own subplot.

-Mako and Korra waterbubbling their way into the island was neat. I love inventive, cool bending.

-Lieutenant feeling betrayed by Amon was the emotional highlight of the finale. The guy was an intolerant bender-hater, but his emotion was still so visible and well done that I couldn't help feeling bad for him.

-It was nice to see a bit of Korra's parents near the ending.
>> No. 106542
Part 2/2.

-------------------------------
Amon, Tarrlok and Yakone
-------------------------------

-Turns out Tarrlok was still relevant after all, the Yakone flashbacks were more important than they initially seemed, and there was a reason (other than Gaang fanservice) why we got to see those scenes. Things tied together. That's very good and I'm happy about that.

-...but I still can't help feeling a bit disappointed by Yakone. When it was first mentioned that Yakone did something bad that forced Aang to do something drastic, I thought Yakone might've killed someone and Aang was forced to compromise on his pacifist beliefs. But turns out Yakone just grabbed Sokka and Toph and tossed them into the ground, and Aang was forced to do the same trick he already did with Ozai.
I'm not saying I want things to be grimdark, and I was terrified about the possibility that Sokka or Toph might've been killed that day. I was relieved they weren't... but I couldn't help feeling slightly let-down when we saw the full flashbacks and nothing too dangerous happened.

-The question about who Amon is was the mystery that kept him interesting. People came up with lots of theories that sounded exciting, and once it was revealed that he can fight off bloodbending, it seemed there might be something utterly supernatural about him. Some of the theories I really liked were that he was some kind of "chi-sponge" who actually stole people's bending for himself to use (which would explain his ability to counter bloodbending), or he was involved with the owl spirit from that hidden library (that owl had a grudge against humans and especially the avatar, after all), or maybe he was some kind of being formed from the restless souls who died in the 100-year war. If spirits were really involved, that would be some scary shit... Korra would have to find a supernatural, angry being, and she'd be the underdog due to being just a mortal human. Plus, she has struggles with the spiritual side of bending.
But once we discovered who exactly Amon is, the speculation time was over, Amon became flesh and blood, and he lost some of his charm. But on the other hand, if Amon's identity had been kept as a mystery, that would've been unsatisfying and maddening as well.

-Either way, I feel like the revelation of Amon and Tarrlok being brothers was the worst possible Amon revelation they could've possibly thought of. This means that Amon's abilities were handwaved with that same Sokka speech that was used to explain away the abilities of Yakone and Tarrlok. Also, there are lots of great stories where the hero meets some kind of twisted version of himself; a villainous counterpart who makes the hero question himself. But this was a story where the hero looks on as two brothers are pitted against one another in that kind of fashion. The main conflict is between these two brothers, their similarities and differences. Korra is just witnessing this conflict from the sidelines and she's not involved in this personal squabble. Korra is supposed to be our protagonist and things are supposed to be centered around her. If Amon and Tarrlok were unrelated to one another and didn't have a personal connection, Korra would by default have the center focus and she'd be the one who needs to find balance between the two extremes. But no; this is a story about two brothers and their father's past sins, and Korra's just some clueless teen who's watching it happen. Amon and Tarrlok overshadow Korra, and I don't know how to fix that without taking away the plotpoint of them being brothers.

-That flashback about the brothers was a somewhat long and awkward infodump. Also, it would've been better if we had heard Amon himself explain his motivations and goals; hear it from the original source rather than second-hand.

-Yakone escaped the jail just like that, and oh, then he got plastic surgery. These explanations felt kinda cheap. And if Yakone really was so important and dangerous back then, shouldn't somebody have maybe mentioned earlier about him breaking out of jail and disappearing off the face of the earth? Why wasn't this important enough to mention if we knew Yakone's son was running around somewhere?

-What did Amon and Tarrlok want, exactly? What were their motivations and goals? Both brothers seemed to have some kind of dislike of their father's plans, yet both still settled for Republic City and attempted to grab power there. Were Amon's plans affected in any way by the fact that Tarrlok was a councilman in RC? Did Amon plan to eventually get to Tarrlok and talk with him? Did he feel responsibility over his brother's political moves, and did he want to stop that crap? Did he want to find a way to reconnect with his brother? Or did he plan to de-bend his brother from the very start? Why did he think his brother would forgive him, and why did he come get him when it appeared he didn't talk about everything with him before?
And Amon really was serious about equalist agenda after all? If so, what happened during all those years he was away from home but wasn't involved with the equalists yet? What did he do during these decades? What happened to him, and why did he come to hate bending despite being a bender himself? Is it all because of Yakone, or what had he been up to for all those years? This is yet another reason why we needed to hear it from Amon himself.

-Turns out Amon planned to remove benders from the world by poking everyone in the forehead, one after one. He didn't have a masterplan that would take care of the matter in one go. I had assumed there was some kind of spiritual trick, but no. Like, maybe provoking the avatar into Avatar State and de-bending her would cut the link between the mankind and their spirituality? Maybe Amon knew this due to a spirit whispering advice to him?. - He had implied it was somehow crucial to his plans that he gets to de-bend Korra at a certain kind of timing. Also, as we see from the matter of Amon himself, de-bent people can still have bending children.
Amon never had a chance of winning this war, and he lacked a masterplan. This was a disappointing discovery; Amon had seemed so calculating, intelligent and prepared for anything throughout the season, but turns out his plan sucked and he was no threat in the long run.

-The scar being fake was a disappointment. Amon was only a liar after all, and his movement disintegrated due to that discovery.
Why didn't he just tattoo it? Or maybe he could've gotten into a fight with some random firebender, and maybe he decided to use the scar to form a fake backstory in order to gain sympathy? Or maybe he was nuts enough to self-inflict it on his face to appear convincing? That would show crazy commitment to the movement. But the best option would've been if he was telling the truth about his family and the spirits... that would've made the conflict really freaking tense.
Also, did he put make-up on his face every day just in case someone demands to see his face? Fake scar just seems so inconvenient.

-I felt like the murder-suicide was a little out-of-place for this particular story. I mean, it would have been a perfect and fitting scene if this was a movie like The Usual Suspects, Memento or The Se7en. If this were a movie aimed for adults, a movie that's allowed to end on an uncomfortable, unhappy note, a movie where bad guys can get away with the stuff they do... yeah, that would've been a great ending for our brothers. But since this is a Saturday morning cartoon, I feel like it didn't fit the tone. I felt it was utterly disappointing that 1) Amon and Tarrlok escaped the heroes, 2) one of the brothers ended the conflict by killing both of them and 3) none of the heroes were around to contribute or witness it. For all Korra knows, Amon and Tarrlok left to do more villainy elsewhere, or maybe they'll return to Republic City once they're ready. The protagonists are unaware of our villains' fate, and it's unsatisfying. Again, this whole conflict revolved around the brothers and was resolved by one of them, whereas the so-called protagonists remained off-stage.

-If the brother dynamic is kept, Tarrlok needs more focus earlier in the season. Also, there seriously needs to be a big showdown between Korra, Tarrlok and Amon. Since all the drama is between the brothers, the brief scene in the little cabin is not enough. These two need to deal with their differences, and Korra needs to be around to see it, and very possibly ally herself with one of them. She needs to be the one to resolve the conflict somehow, because she's supposed to be the hero of this story.

-So basically I'd just make sure to introduce Tarrlok as early as possible, keep him relevant throughout the series, and scrap everything between episodes 8 and 12 and completely change everything. I'd like to keep the idea of the Krew getting imprisoned and Lin busting them out so we get a fugitive subplot, and I would like to have some kind of Tarrlok vs. Korra fight where Korra's trashing Tarrlok until he uses bloodbending. But everything else IMO needs to be re-thought. The roles, motivations and goals of Amon and Tarrlok need to be kept in mind, and they need to act in a logical way.

-Someone on /co/ suggested that the story would actually make more sense if the personalities of the brothers were switched. What if Amon was the emotional, sensitive kid while Tarrlok was the cold, distant one? Tarrlok would stay with Yakone and grow power-hungry like his father, whereas Amon would be horrified by the concept of bloodbending and he would leave. Maybe he'd settle down and have a family. But one day he ends up in a situation where he has to protect himself by bloodbending some firebender. That bender gathers up his gang in revenge, they kill Amon's family and scar him. Amon would in his grief come to the conclusion that all bending is evil; he had tried to escape his heritage, and he only tried to protect himself, but all he got was pain. So, he learns a way to use bloodbending for blocking chakras and spends some years travelling the world and de-bending outlaws, until he settles for Republic City.


-------------------------------
Spirituality and bending
-------------------------------

-Sokka's speech discussing how some people are freaks with crazy powers was supposed to handwave the abilities of Amon and Tarrlok. Turns out all the fans were over-analyzing things and Sokka's speech was supposed to explain everything. Sure, we got the flashback that explained how the brothers slowly learned to grow more powerful, and that was very good... but the mechanics of some of this stuff still needed more explanation, IMO. For instance:

-Bloodbending being able to block people from bending. So apparently Amon actually does something physical to people's bodies, rather than something affecting their psychic/spiritual side? How did he even find out that this was possible? Did he do some kinds of horrifying experiments, or did he learn from some book/person? Again, Amon needed to talk about this... or we needed to get Korra in contact with Aang, and Aang needed to explain what was going on. A lot of fans came up with theories about blocking chakras, and I feel like Aang should've talked about this to Korra.
Also, we've talked earlier about how to make de-bending more scary. One idea was that Amon might be using a flawed method that does some kind of internal damage to your body. Since he uses bloodbending, I feel like there's even more reason to use the idea of his de-bending actually hurting more than just people's feelings.
Also, I kinda thought Amon just severs people's connection to bending completely. But apparently he can't remove bending if a person is capable of it but hasn't learned it yet (see: Korra's airbending not getting removed). That was a little odd, and I would've liked an explanation of it.

-Korra finally figured out airbending and avatar state. That's good.
She figured things out really freaking late and with no build-up. That's bad. And important things happening in the very last second was no good, either.
I would prefer if Korra had lost her bending in like, episode 11 or something. She gets in utter despair for a while and wants to give up, but maybe her friends encourage her, or she finds the inner resolve in herself. She meditates successfully, talks with spirit Aang, and Aang explains her how Amon's bloodbending works. He tells her she's still the avatar and she must keep fighting, so she does.
I would also hope that there had been some kinds of themes earlier throughout the season; benders and non-benders should be equal people, bending isn't what your world should revolve around, and you can still be a person without it. You can still continue the fight, and you shouldn't just give up all hope like a pussy. Korra possibly even contemplating suicide in the end didn't feel right. Besides, she still had one element for herself while lots of others had none. She had a loving family and friends to support her. Things weren't really that hopeless.

-I was upset about Korra just giving up so easily. Another thing I was upset about was that Aang resolved her problems and gave her bending back. I feel like Korra herself should've been able to fight through her situation and solve her problems on her own. This was supposed to be "Legend of Korra" instead of "Legend of Aang", after all. It's no good how Aang just hands out everything to her. What if Roku had done the same thing in AtLA? It's such an anti-climax.

-What about all the "be the leaf" stuff? I really wanted to see Korra embracing her spiritual side, thinking like an airbender, avoiding fights and using her wits to get through situations. Losing her other elements might've made her think before acting which could help her unlocking airbending. I wish there was more build-up here.
Even in the finale, Korra continued to be a punch-happy meathead who got herself into fights without thinking. She started the series with the opinion that bending is the coolest thing ever, and she ended the series on the same note. She didn't learn anything.

-Korra and Lin getting their bending back. This felt like a bit of a cop-out, especially because it happened so very late. It was in fact so late that I actually thought they were gonna go out with a downer ending. That would've been a brave choice, but on the other hand, we already had a lot of downer endings during the season and I think we needed a happy one for a change.
Still, Lin's sacrifice kinda got cheapened by Tenzin getting caught (she lost all for nothing), and the ending of the finale cheapened it even more (she actually didn't lose anything after all). Yeah, I like happy endings and all, but... I dunno. Apparently Korra had the power to change things back to normal all along, and Amon was never actually a threat. All tension got deflated from the story in hindsight.

-Basically, I feel that Korra should've lost her bending way earlier and she should've found the mental resolve to fight through her despair. She should've figured out the avatar state and airbending earlier, as well as discussions with your past selves. Then she should regain all her bending like maybe halfway through episode 12 so the audience has time to accept that fact and become comfortable with it. The ending should be more relaxed, wrapping shit up. And I feel like since we had Tarrlok's position in the council and the councilmen being such assholes earlier in the season, there needs to be some kind of resolution to the corruption issue. Like, Korra holding a speech to the citizens of RC and talking about how to make future better for both benders and non-benders. I guess it might be a bit of a re-hash of Zuko's speech in AtLA, but I still feel it's needed. Also, there could possibly be some very short sequel hook scene for the second season.
>> No. 106545
>>106542
Fuck, did my post break the board or something? I got an odd error message yet the post still appeared for some reason, but now it seems another thread didn't bump to the top of the board when it got a new post.
>> No. 106547
>>106541
>-How did Iroh & co just figure out the location of the airbase if they hadn't known about it before?

They knew the direction the Equalist bi-planes were coming from.
How did the Gaang knew where Ozai's airshps would reach the land of the Earth Kingdom?

>And no one else had noticed the place before?

Nobody expected that the Equalist had heavy military hardware until it was too late.
You won't find a remote air base if do not know what you are searching for and where it could be.
>> No. 106558
>>106522
>>Amon as Al Capone

I really like this idea as an AU fic, although not as a rewrite. Most all the suggestions in this thread are about salvaging the Equalist plot thread, which I feel, while badly delivered, it still core to the story TLoK was supposedly trying to tell. But this AU? It re-centers everything on the Yakone-Amon-Tarrlok plot that ended up being the emotional core of the Equalist story. (Which speaks to how bloodless it otherwise was.)

It could even be used to set up an Equalist plot in an AU Season 2, because we've just spent a season learning about the serious problems coursing through the veins of both the city's establishment and its underworld. A non-bender revolution wouldn't be coming out of nowhere, but as a response to popular dissatisfaction with both the crime rate and a heavy-handed government.

Amon's goals are plausible here, and don't invoke the obvious question of why the rest of the world won't collectively step in and swat him like a fly. He's no revolutionary, just a crime lord. That's a 100% internal domestic affair. And the Tarrlok/Noatok backstory could be delivered at a far earlier point without undermining Amon's status as a villain. Heck, Tarrlok could even hold a press conference about it to justify his heavy-handed response: the menace of Yakone has been reborn, Tarrlok knows exactly what Amon can do and how far he'll go, and the sob story could score Tarrlok points with general public if framed correctly, especially if he rather than Amon was the one to run away from home.


tl;dr -- As a radical AU, I like the idea. As a rewrite, I think it goes too far. But you bring up a lot of interesting points.
>> No. 106637
some good points ideas about the finale here:
http://avataraang.tumblr.com/post/25955228754/what-i-would-have-changed-about-the-ending

I liked that Korra should realize being the avatar isn't about fighting or having superpowers. And that she should be the impetus for her own realization/avatar mastery by thinking back on what she learned during the series.
>> No. 106641
File 134075190014.jpg - (160.26KB , 900x693 , Spring_Contest_by_Alciha_by_NoSelfControl.jpg )
106641
>>106504
>>106508
Stay for the climax, featuring a singing, tap-dancing Amon!

...fuck, this is the fanfic that needs to be made.
>> No. 106737
Sudden thought: what if Korra lost her 3 elements early?
Depending on how aggressive one wants to do this
Like the first time Amon attacks her or
Within the last 3 episodes.

Yeah that's forcing her to air bend but if training her or Tenzin can't get through to her
( much like Aang was forced to earth bend)
I just want more air in my Air season.
>> No. 106740
>>106737
In my opinion Korra losing her bending definitely needs to happen before the last episode. There needs to be time for Korra to get through the initial shock and learn to deal with the situation. But I'm not sure how things would work if she lost her bending in the first half of the season; it would probably divert the plot a lot further from canonical events. So, IMO it should happen somewhere in the second half, but I can't decide the best spot right now.

Then there's the topic of Korra getting her bending back and gaining the power to grant people bending. Is it a happy ending that's worth keeping, or does it cheapen the sacrifices and losses we witnessed earlier in the season? Should there be some kind of mumbo-jumbo avatar spirit reason for Korra to gain her own bending back, yet still being unable to help de-bent people?
I feel like side characters having to cope with permanent consequences (and maybe getting character development through their new life situation) would've been a better and more dramatic choice. But on the other hand, I do still like happy endings. How did you guys feel about this stuff?

Also, someone on /co/ posted a link to yet another essay discussing the series and expressing rewrite ideas:
http://chirart.tumblr.com/post/25991175534/how-you-can-have-a-bunch-of-great-ideas-but-still-fuck

I thought that post had a lot of interesting food for thought, and it summarized pretty nicely why people were disappointed. The first few episodes of Korra promised a lot of interesting themes, but the rest of the series didn't deliver.
>> No. 106887
File 134092903839.jpg - (124.59KB , 380x391 , 1318485908887.jpg )
106887
I was brainstorming earlier

What if Amon had been an evil airbender? Like, 35 years ago, Tenzin had a very brief relationship with a woman and he got her pregnant but she disappears soon afterward so he never found out about it? This ties in with another idea I had months back in which out of the same paranoia that led Aang to tell the White Lotus to keep Korra safe and secluded at the south pole:

Aang had secretly been working on an interim peacekeeping force for the world; men who would have all the skills needed to stop benders who became a serious threat until the next Avatar was ready; knowledge of the chakras and how to open and close them; chi-blocking; how to counter all of the four styles of bending even if you weren't a bender yourself; how to go into the spirit world and ask the spirits for guidance and aid; an Avatar pro tempore that wasn't a single person who could be locked away in an ice cube for 100 years while everything fell down around him. Ultimately Aang never implements this plan because he dies first; but it's all written down and ready to be rolled out the second anyone wants to.

Who wants it? The people who care for the lost airbender; the son of Tenzin nobody ever knew about; raised by his mother and grandmother's family also in seclusion. His grandmother? Azula. The plan? To take control of the United Republic and expand political independence to the rest of the world; topple the old monarchies and the four nations forever.

>>38215057

He would be able to stop peoples' bending by closing their chakras using the most advanced form of chi-blocking; very very minor energybending; the lost art the Lion Turtle had taught to Aang. He can pose as a non-bender because airbending can be done so covertly it's not visible and no one would ever, ever suspect there were airbenders anywhere but Air Temple Island.

Moving on: what if Mako and Bolin hadn't been pro-benders but instead, members of the anti-Equalist task force organized by Tarrlok? Korra could be enthusiastic about joining the fight because she obviously loves fighting; and they could be squadmates she ends up hanging out with after the action is over. They wouldn't be brothers, so you can actually do the "love triangle" thing the right way if you want to; without making Mako look like an asshole. They can all quit the task force together when Tarrlok starts going above and beyond the strict necessities of the law in suppressing the revolution.
>> No. 106889
>>106887
>35 years ago
>Tenzin is 50
>Tenzin would have had a kid at 15

gross
>> No. 106894
I'd prefer evil Air Acolyte instead of evil Air Bender. He was maladjusted, went to Air Temple Island to try to help himself. He excelled in using airbending techniques involving evasion, but couldn't let go of his inner demons and got kicked off the island.
>> No. 106896
>>106887
>Tenzin had a very brief relationship with a woman and he got her pregnant but she disappears soon afterward

This sounds like a bad soap opera.
>> No. 106898
>>106896
It was a setup to get Airbender DNA
>> No. 106902
>>106887
· Korra is leading a team with Mako and Bolin on a raid of the Equalist hideout the night the attack on the pro-bending arena happens. After they hear Amon's broadcast over a radio in the hideout they commander Asami's souped up roadster on the street and she drives them there in a flash but they're too late to have stopped Amon; they make it aboard his airship but are repulsed when Amon airbends Mako and Korra off; Bolin is captured and has his bending blocked. Asami realizes there's only one place in the world Amon could've gotten a custom-made airship and invites Korra and Mako to the Sato mansion to look into things around there; Korra overhears Hiroshi's phone call and she and Mako leave to report it in; the next day a joint operation of task force and police raid the mansion and find the secret base; Mako is injured badly by mecha tanks and Korra carries him out after a massive explosion partially caves it in.
>> No. 106978
File 134103766582.jpg - (237.83KB , 600x927 , tumblr_m67m8eP07p1qfh7h3o1_1280.jpg )
106978
ATLA has a non violent pacifist who needed to defeat a Tyrant with any means necessary

TLoK had a very violent fighter who likes beating people up. I was expecting her to learn more about spirituality and actually resolve the conflict non-violently. I didn't get any of that.....

I wish my original theory was real that AMon would have been one of the kind hearted concilman who supports Tenzin. He would be councilman Noatak who is a waterbender. Bending destroyed his family as he is Yakone's son. He is seeing Bending starting to cause instability in the city he loves. Laws and policies are being made that benefit the bender and not the non bender. Naotak would be kind hearted that Korra bonds with him and sees him as a brother/father figure.

I wanted a somewhat peaceful compromise ending.
>> No. 106986
>>106978
I think the entire story would have taken a whole other level if Tarrlok had been aware of Amon's identity from the start.
A battle between brothers with conflicting views and in the process tearing Republic City apart.
And finally Korra would have come in as the mediator after beating them both and exposing them as the frauds that they are.
But alas, we got a very melodramatic but kinda unsatisfying end here.
It just didn't feel like the natural conclusion to the storyline.
It's that lack of any kind of zen-type-wisdom and shit.
That's what bugs me about the show in general.
Korra has this insufferable 90s action movie mentality instead.
>> No. 107077
Here are some of my ideas:

Given that Korra knew she was the Avatar from a young age and could bend 3 elements she should be more arrogant, believing that she's always right and invincible. This would put her at odds with Tenzin and Lin, and would mean that losing to Amon would have far more impact (especially if Amon removes her bending after Korra challenges him to a fight).

It would be interesting to combine Mako or Bolin with Tanho, then you could have one brother trying to support his pro-bending brother. Their goal would be for the pro-bending brother to earn a lot of money as a professional sportsman. A goal that Amon shatters when he removes the pro-bending brother's bending.

I like the corrupt aspect of pro-bending. If criminals are rigging matches and making large amounts of money off bets this could be used by Amon to justify blowing up the pro-bending arena.

The Equalists and Amon need more screen time to establish what their true motives are and whether non-benders are actually being oppressed.

Another way to use Asami would involve her father encouraging her to be friends with Korra. Korra thinks Hiroshi just wants to use her for free publicity but Hiroshi is actually telling Amon where the Avatar is. Asami doesn't know why her father wants her to befriend Korra and initially doesn't like her.
>> No. 107078
File 134109402068.jpg - (549.31KB , 1284x2748 , KorraAU.jpg )
107078
A little bit of drawfaggotry inspired by the ideas posted in this thread.
>> No. 107085
At the risk of saying something unpopular (because this post will involve some shipping).


Start by scrapping the multiple love triangles and you already get rid of a major bump in the road.

I do like to put more emphasis on Asami and Korra's friendship.

Have Korra befriend Bolin and Mako and join the team (you don't have to outright remove pro-bending, just reduce it's importance in the plot outside of being the place where the Krew starts).

Eliminate Bolin's feelings for Korra or have him get over it quickly early on.

Have Korra befriend Asami separately, and then have Korra introduce her to the Fire Ferrets. BEFORE the money problems become an issue.


Have Bolin and Asami bond early on over their love of ProBending, and mid way through make them the Beta Couple for Mako and Korra.
>> No. 107087
>>107078
Wow, great job. It's nice to see that some of our ideas get peoples creative juices going.
>> No. 107170
>>107078

YOU DREW MY HYPOTHETICAL FAN SCENE *flail*

This is so awesome! If I weren't wrapped up in other fandom projects, I'd be tempted to write all kinds of shit based on this thread.
>> No. 107218
One way to get more information about the Equalists would be for Korra to have Asami infiltrate them. Then should could talk to the Lieutenant and he could explain his past, the history of the Equalists, and parts of Amon's past.
>> No. 107219
One way to get more information about the Equalists would be for Korra to have Asami infiltrate them. Then should could talk to the Lieutenant and he could explain his past, the history of the Equalists, and parts of Amon's past.
>> No. 107759
File 134179835476.png - (691.66KB , 1280x729 , tumblr_m6vc90wqh81qc9ndyo1_1280.png )
107759
I thought this was sort of a neat idea.
>> No. 107766
>>107219
This would actually be really cool.

If the events of episode 7 happened a little differently and Asami wasn't forced to help capture Team Avatar, she could try getting into the graces of Amon and the Equalists some other way all while playing double agent. It'd be a neat little game of how far you'd have to go to stay undercover all the while Korra and Amon are both questioning the loyalty of Asami.
>> No. 107867
Korra:Making Of A Legend! Epis…youtube thumb

So apparently Mike and Bryan were trying to emulate some class warfare with the Equalist movement.

Kinda sucks that they didn't follow through at all.
>> No. 107868
>>107867
Thanks for posting that. I've been curious to see these commentary bits, but they've been airing at an inconvenient time and I haven't been able to see them until now.

>>107219
>>107766
I think I like this idea.
After the finale, I thought Asami felt kinda pointless... she was a non-bender whose father was an equalist, and what with Korra and Mako being somewhat douchebags, the series seemed to be setting up some sort of inner conflict for Asami. Like, a temptation to join the equalists along with her father, or maybe she was a double-agent from the start, or maybe she was good all along and might be able to convince her dad to turn against Amon, too.

When it turned out that Asami never liked equalists, never felt any kind of temptation to join them at all, and never looked back after siding against her father, it just felt like everything involving her was a waste of time. Asami seemed to have motivation and abilities to be an equalist. Yet all the doubts against Asami's loyalties were expressed on the internet and in the heads of the fans, but never really in-show (except for Tarrlok, but he was actually targeting Korra rather than Asami). It was just fans looking for depth and hidden meanings even though there were none to be found.

So, I think the idea of Asami going undercover and making people in-series wonder about her true loyalties sounds pretty nice.
>> No. 108086
Guys, I was thinking Korra script primitive drafts were probably better than the final drafts we got for the series.

It'd be so sweet if someone could get those drafts from where they are hidden...
>> No. 114611
Preservation bump.
>> No. 114618
>>114611

...Why?
>> No. 114619
File 138069891944.jpg - (268.15KB , 1024x768 , 5976349609_9dda2ac43c_b.jpg )
114619
>>114611
Oh hey, I was actually about to bump this too. I've been working on some new content to post and I happened to finally finish it.
Everyone who's joining late: pretend that the thread title says "Korra Book 1 AU" instead of "Korra rewritten". The thread started out with certain goals but evolved into something else, and it became more like an AU fanfic concept of book 1.

Anyway. I started making a compilation of this thread soon after book 1 finale, but I kept procrastinating and didn't finish my work until just now. Here's finally a textdump on how book 1 might've turned out if +/a/ had been involved in the writing process:

http://pastebin.com/uZLb7AM9

Warning: it's really freaking long (almost as long as this entire thread) and it will take quite a while to read through. If you feel like reading it, do grab some popcorn first.
I tried to incorporate as many fan ideas as possible, but there's still a lot of stuff I had to leave out because it conflicted with some other story elements. Also, it's a fairly jumbled compilation of notes and thoughts instead of an actual script, and some details are still undecided.

We're currently four episodes into book 2. If people still feel like discussing this topic, I think I'd like to keep book 2 out of it. We don't know where its subplots are going yet and it's way too early to form any sort of judgements on them.
>> No. 114643
>>114619
Holy shit yeah, it's long.

I question how the pacing would go with your episode summaries even though I've only read partway through. These episodes seem really packed.

That said, fuck yes, I would have loved to see the show actually happen this way.
>> No. 114645
>>114619
I'm only to episode 10 so maybe there IS a reason why that I haven't read yet, but why did you decide on the Red Monsoons to kidnap Korra? I think the Agni Kais would work better for this part since they also feature in the other characters' backstories.

Here's what I propose, you don't really need to take it into account if you don't want to:

Korra is lured into a closed off area (but a big one, so there's room for a Cool Bending Fight), and the boss reveals himself. He starts talking to her about they ought to team up and fight against the Equalists because they're the real threat and having her help him stabilise the power vacuum in RC by getting the Agni Kais up on top, etc. Standard badguy stuff. He challenges her to... an Agni Kai, saying that if he wins she'll help him out, and if she does, they won't bother her or her friends again. She accepts, and they duel. It's a close fight; she's the Avatar but he has many years of experience, and as a firebender, he is no stranger to her techniques. She eventually gets the upper hand though and beats him with a "cheap move" which he (and the other members waiting in the wings) take offense to.

I think it'd be neat if that cheap move was lightning (maybe slight and unintentional earthbending to trip him and then shoot him with a bolt in the chest). As far as I can tell she was never taught how to do it from her firebending teacher because while she relies heavily on fire, she never uses lightning... but Mako does. This whole incident is kind of the part where Mako realises he's got feelings for Korra, and it'd be nice if she uses something she learned from him earlier on to win this fight in particular. There's an earlier scene you've got where it's possible to show that too, when she comes to talk to him while he is working in the factory in Episode 6. "Wow, I never learned how to do that in the South Pole! How do you do it?" and whatever. He shows her and she gets frustrated that she can't do it immediately, but he reassures her that she will definitely be able to if she keeps practicing, sometimes it takes people years to learn it, and maybe he says some shit that parallels what Tenzin has been telling her about airbending. Korra asks him how long it took him to learn it, and he brags about it only being a month or something, but quickly deflates when she says something like "bet you had a great teacher, not even my teacher could create lightning!" and he has to dodge the question about who exactly he learned it from. He is saved from having to tell her when they're interrupted by Asami, but Hiroshi, overhearing Korra and Mako's conversation and seeing Mako's reaction, may make the connection between his lightning ability and Lightning Bolt Zolt. Anyway, she manages to get the hang of it during the duel and successfully burn the mob boss. There's a shot of her smiling, realising that she could do this and now has some hope that she can master airbending after all, as the other mob guys move out of the shadows to ambush her.

Boss gives her one last chance to join them, she refuses, and they take her away. The duel has caused a commotion, particularly Korra's finishing move, so they need to get out of there fast. As they take her away there's a shot of mobsters dropping some Equalist equipment.

The Council is quick to pin the fight and Korra's disappearance on the Equalists. When Lin reads about it in the hospital, she is very skeptical about the conclusion reached--why would Equalist kidnappers leave their gloves at the scene of the crime? She is the ex-chief of police, she'd know hastily planted evidence when she sees it. Thinking it might relate to the Triads instead, she goes to see Mako and Bolin, who might know more about recent gang activity. She breaks all three out (Asami pleads to let her help rescue her friend) and Lin tells them the details. Mako flips the fuck out when he learns where it took place: it's Agni Kai territory, and the luring tactic is a standard MO. They're the guys who tore apart his family, and Asami's family, and now there's a real chance they've done something terrible to somebody else they love. He runs off towards the headquarters and the others chase after him.

The Agni Kai HQ plays out like the Equalist dungeon does, but because it's no longer Equalists, Lin can't find her team. ): I'm not really sure how to resolve that, maybe she enlists Korra's help to find them after she's been rescued? Anyway, Mako makes it there before everyone else, and he goes berserk on that one guy, threatening to burn his face off if he won't tell him where Korra is, even though the guy says that, as a low ranking dude, he doesn't know. And he's about to do it too when Lin grabs his arm and pulls him away, telling him that as a former police officer, she can't let him do that. There's a little thing about how Vengeance Isn't The Answer. Asami says that, as his friend who shares his pain about losing family members to gang violence, she understands, but she does not want another good person to be consumed by it like her father was. They all hug, friendship strengthened by overcoming grief and their resolve to save Korra, or whatever. Lin instead does her interrogation thing and extracts info from the guy, and she finds out Korra was probably taken to that mountaintop place where the Agni Kai takes their Special victims, who don't usually come back. He doesn't know where it is though, nobody does.

They leave the hideout through a hole Bolin or Lin made in the wall and hear Naga's howl. She'd come to find them and take them to the place Korra was taken.

Then there's your scene with Korra in the box and everything after it. Though I guess I should probably mention that if you're unconscious for half a day, that suggests pretty bad brain damage. I'd just say she was alone in the dark cellar for that length of time because they were tired of her screaming, and they came downstairs just then to discuss what to do with her/see if they can reason with her after a night in sensory deprivation, rather than her just waking up now.

I do really like the idea of Korra getting out on her own though with no help, and her friends finding her singed, exhausted but victorious in the snow after Naga has tracked her down with them in tow. The Agni kKai may still try to electrocute her in the box like the Equalists did, maybe as payback for electrocuting the boss. (The box is also a Faraday Cage so she would not actually get electrocuted even if she WAS standing on the floor, not that the person doing that is likely to know that though.)

thats my story
>> No. 114649
File 138083213940.jpg - (61.52KB , 360x417 , lichtenberg figure scar.jpg )
114649
Asami's role is kinda schizophrenic. I love what you did with her being a double agent, but I think that if we're going that route, we probably need to cut that scene in the factory basement where she takes the glove and electrocutes Hiroshi, because that's a dead giveaway about where her loyalties lie. It's kind of weird that the Equalists and Hiroshi still trust her after that and welcome her into their ranks. I think it might be worth the sacrifice though, because she gets some other really great scenes afterwards. Instead of coming out of the shadows at the end to make that choice, maybe she is fighting against the Equalists by Korra's side until Hiroshi appears and asks her to make a decision, and she says that she can't make it. She refuses the glove and stalls them long enough for the Krew to make an escape. "I'm sorry, Korra, but I can't hurt my dad. He's not a bad person. I'm going to try to convince him that revolution isn't the right thing to do, and I'm still on your side, but I can't hurt him."

If you're tired of some random firebender going around killing people, and don't want Amon to essentially have the same backstory as Korra's friends, I think it is possible to separate them. What if it was a scar from a lightning bolt to the face instead of a standard burn? Those things are fucking awesome (pic related). It might also give an edge as to why Amon chose to target the TTT and Lightning Bolt Zolt first, the insinuation being that Zolt might have been the one who gave it to him and left him for dead a long time ago, when he was still Noatok and new to RC (but I don't think we should ever make that explicit). There's also interesting parallels between young Noatok and Mako in there, too, and Korra, if she zaps somebody in a fight like in >>114645.
>> No. 114793
I've been reading a lot of Cockeyed Caravan lately.
That would be screenwriter Matt Bird's blog on writing and there's something that just hit me.
A central problem with Korra, that they tried to fix in the second season but turned into another problem. Korra's agency.

In season one she seemed to be under-motivated. She had no real goal in the story. At first it seems like she really wants to learn airbending, but after episode 2 it seems she couldn't care less.
She going through a daily routine, with no real goal.
She gets dragged into the Amon conflict, but once again it seems completely like something she does because it's expected of her.
If there was any active pressure on her or something I'd eat it or if she felt it was personal after what happened on Aang island. But that never really happened.
She does what the plot demands.
And that makes her just a little flatter.

Now come season 2, the writers might have picked up on her thin motifs and wanted to fix it.
So Korra is super driven to get spiritual and do her job.
There are rogue spirits about harming the innocent. Makes sense.
But then the plot keeps adding motivations on top of that.
She needs to prove that she can stand on her own two feet, damn it.
She needs to prove she's worthy of her title.
She needs to protect her home from a foreign invasion.
Hell, the guy that's responsible, tried to frame her dad.
Damn, he's even done it before, exiling him. Now it's really personal.

It doesn't even seem like they're done yet. The spirits will most likely reveal another good reason to fight to her.
And that's just overkill.

Matt warns that too much agency is as bad as no agency at all.
>> No. 114811
>>114793
Mako and Varrick are the only ones right now who feel, to me, like they have actual agency, while every other character (including Korra) kind of has this illusion of agency but they're still being dragged around by the plot and making irrational decisions to further it along. Well, I guess all of them except Tenzin and his siblings, who are just doing whatever they want because they're not involved in the plot at all (yet?). Season 2 is giving the viewers a tour of how Avatar's world has changed in the last 70 years but the characters aren't staying for long, so I think part of the characterisation problems are coming from everyone being shuffled from one place to another. Maybe they were listening to people complaining about Season 1 and thought that we wanted to get back to the old ATLA world-crossing adventure thing.
>> No. 114813
>>114811
Yeah, but that's the problem with too much agency.
The character gets railroaded.
There's never a conceivable moment where she might have had any doubts about keeping on keeping on, so to speak.
The fact that Unalaq seems to be responsible for every bad thing that ever befell her family, on top of manipulating her, on top of invading her home, just means that there's no real choice for her in the matter.
Her actions seize to look heroic because there's no real decision there.
And like no motivation at all it makes the character seem faker.
It's like a donkey being dragged somewhere as opposed to having a bunch of carrots dangled in front of it. We want it to move at its own accord. Otherwise it's just a dumb animal.

You're right in that Mako and Varrick have clear-cut agendas. At least now, before that I was scratching my head why the hell Mako was involved in anything at all.
I'll also make an exception for Asami. We know how firm she is in her moral believes and where her loyalties are.
I think she'd help, maybe not as actively as the later part of the season is probably going to make her, but regardless.

As far as the tours are concerned I doubt that we're going to see any more of the physical world. Next up is the Spiritworld. And then we're either heading back South or to the North.
And while it seems like they're running all over the place with no time to catch breath, that's actually a good thing to me. If they keep throwing new stuff at me, I won't have enough time to poke holes into them.
[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts] [First 100 posts]


Delete post []
Password  
Report post
Reason