any one want to take on the adventures of Professor Badass and Technoviking?
do they fight Combustion Man and Norman?
Fuck thats awesome
>>7687 They team up with Putin and Freddy Mercury to fight Hitler.
What other "real life" people can be made into characters like Professor Badass & Technoviking?
>>7707
>>7709 Damn, he is cool.
>>7693 but at what point does Mercury team up with Bowie to use their awesome powers against Hitler.
also, this guy
>>7686
>>7734
>>7736
>>7736>>7737
>>7738
>>7739
>>7740 And that...
>>7741 ...
>>7742 ...is all I've got.
>>7743 YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>7745 Thank you.
>>7733 The Motherfucking Phelps.
>>7792 Lol, oh wow, WTF?!
>>7796 Dammit Gordon.
>>7796 The One Free Man
VILLAIN: Captain Killdozer
>>7805 I remember that guy. i want to do the exactly the same thing just in Meca and against the Muslim monolith just to see what would the reaction on their faces be.
so, how do we know he's a professor?
>>7808 it's like awesome just spews out of this guy.
>>7808 I... I suddenly have the urge to vote for Obama...
>>7806 THE MONOLITH, WE DESTROY IT AND THIS IS OVER!
>>7807 How do you know he's not?
Technoviking looks familiar.
>>7831 Oh noo Oh noo
>>7832 OH NO YOU DIDN'T
>>7830 touche
>>7803 >>7804 Freemind
>>7832 OH YEAH
professor badass and techno viking stood on top of the now again inanimate giant statue of Lincoln or at least what was left of it when suddenly an alarm rang out of professor badass's golden watch/communicator/mp4 player. a serious expression appeared on his face as he heard the news. just 34 minutes ago Putin started invading the USA from Alaska on his own. as they raced to the scene on the back of "killer" the 1971 ford mustang Putin has already reached the Canadian border. he never thought thermonuclear bombs could be evaded by barrel rolling to the left but then again everything could be evaded by barrel rolling
>>7864 please continue...
>>7874 as the Russian prime minister tried planting his flag, Killer with both our heroes jumped from a nearby hill over Putin as the trusty 4 cylinder death machine flew in the air professor badass and Technoviking jumped down to face the powerful foe. Technoviking pointed angrily at him demanding information as the Professor just stood there in his battle stance being awesome. even though he spoke in Russian they understood every word. "the prime minister of Canada is secretly possessed by Hitler I had to destroy Alaska to reach Canada" Technoviking knew he was telling the truth since his beard was tied in a way that allowed it to work as a lie detector.
>>7876 "and there is one more thing, i have come to warn you- my god..." Putin choked " i'm too late!" Technoviking freed him from his point of paralisys as he turned to see what had spooked Putin. above the treeline on the canadin side of the border, a great earthmover was making its way south. but this was no ordinary earthmover. this 300 foot tall behmoth had been covered in armour plating The proffessor spoke up, breaking the awe filled silence "we will need to assemble the team" Technoviking and Putin nodded in agreement "it looks likes Captain Kildozer is back. and this time..." Proffesor paused to put on a new pair of glasses, more stylish than the last "...its personal" YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>7879 oh god.
>>7879 lol, oh wow.
>>7864 >>7876 >>7879 This may be the greatest story ever told!
should i continue?
>>7890 oh please do.
HO-LEE SHIT
BEHOLD
NOW WITH 99% LESS BAD SPELLING
>>7895 The pink shoes need to be more vibrant.
>>7864>>7876>>7879 My head exploded from sheer AWESOME
>>7807 Isn't that a gold chain on his left pocket?
So the new roster for the J/co/ are Nicky, Manny, Jetpack, Professor Badass, Technoviking, /co/lette, Chaptor, and /co/nrad?
>>8013 so the J/co/ suddenly have real life members?
>>7953
I actually saw a Techno Viking character on CoH recently. Wasn't a bad likeness.
I propose we add Bloodpouch to the /co/mrades. Give him Punisher 2099's personality.
>>8026 This guy?
>>8030 that's all wrong, you can see the feet, Liefeld never draws feet.
>>8034 When he does, they look like that.
>>7953 Uh-huh.
MORE STORY, DAMN IT!
>>7879 >>8068 the Alaskan earth shook as thousands of tons of metal moved over it. the earth mover was already fighting the army in washington state when at out courageous heroes reached their destination, the house of David Bowie. Technoviking headbutted the door in only to witness that the musician hired a deadly security team of Commando ninjas. the seemingly impregnable wall of ninja star machinegun fire forced our heroes to hide behind their own pectoral muscles when suddenly it was split in two as the rock star climbed down the stairs."I heard the news, the shit is prepared". an army of barbarian bigfoots was slowing down the earth mover while the dark ceremony was beginning, a dreadful summoning. the circle on ancient cries was carved into the wooden floor of a small room in the mansion. after the ancient words were sang fire and thunder burst out of the floor as he last member of the group climbed out of hell to fight the menace. the Professor was the first to walk forth and shack the hand of the hero "welcome back Freddy, don't get Aids this time".
All seats full, Killer rolled to a gentle stop at the ver end of the pier. it was getting dark now, and as our team disembarked to meet thier next member, a fog began to roll over the docks. "is he even coming?" "dont you wory," said the Professor, his gaze never moving from the ocean "he'll be here. as a matter of fact..." the group aproached the edge to follow his gaze. "here he comes now" out to sea, almost concealed by the fog, there was a torpedo like wake trail making its way to shore. there was something moving at a tremendous speed, just below the surface the thing had almost reached the end of the pier "uh, is that thing going to stop?" Freddy asked nervously. Technoviking nodded. "but you still may want to step back" Added professor Badass. as the object closed with the pier several of the crew braced for impact. but none came. Freddy, Putin and Bowie all looked puzzeled, but the other two knew what was coming next. a gigantic column of water burst from the surface like a depth charge, knocking the three unprepared mebers off thier feet. the trio picked themselves up, and rose to see what had cause the explosion. before them, dripping wet and all but naked , was The Phelps "Gentlemen, how are we?" as he extended a handshake to the Professor "captain killdozer and Hitlers ghost are invading the country. we're just dandy." he joked back. The Phelps he motioned to Kiler "is that our ride? It may be a little cramped with six of us?" "That shall not be a problem," said Putin "i have my own transport an will catch up with you" Proffesor Badass nodded in acknowledgement and climbed into the drivers seat. "all aboard, next stop: the bad guys!" as they drove off Putin spoke into his collar mic and within minutes his personal Hind gunship, complete with shark teeth nose art, was hovering touching down on the docks. as putin made to climb into the passenger compartment he paused. something was not right. he turned and scanned the warehouse roofs above. he found a lone silhouette, broken only the glint of a pair of crimson glasses. Putin rummaged through his jacket to get his night vision sunglasses, but by the time he got the on the figure was gone. the pilots voice in his earpice snapped his mind back to the task at hand. he climbed in and straped him in behind his desk. "pilot, take us to the border"
FUCK I HAD THE END ALL PLANNED OUT
>>8116 I thought it was you another some anonymous taking turns writing it.
>>8117 yeah and now thats all fucked up. anyway, i guess i could make a new chapter
>>8118 There's always room for sequels.
>>8116 Post it, and lets call /co/'s end an alternate one.
/co/'s offending additions are deleted. Continue with your story, yo.
>>8121 nah put it back. i'll just do an alternate ending
>>8122 Bloody hell. So much copy/pasting ;__;
Driven by the good Professor of Badassery, Killer had no troubles keeping up with Putin's high speed gunship. They soon approached the Border where the last of the last of the Barbarian Bigfoot had only just fallen to the power of the Earthmover. From the air, Putin could clearly see a small figure on top of the giant mechanical beast. Putin instantly recognised him. The Prime Minister of Canada, also known as the Ghost of Adolf Hitler. Commanding his Pilot to get clear once he had deployed, Putin leaped from the Gunship, bare chested with his rifle in hand. "Gunships and parachutes?" Putin thought as he accelerated towards the earthmover. "This battle is no place for the toys of mortals!" The Gunship quickly retreated to a safe distance. As he landed, Putin struck the hull of the earthmover with the butt of his rifle. This was no ordinary rifle though. It was imbued with Gypsy magic, and should have cut clean through the hull of the machine. Instead it bounced off. It was then that brave Vladimir realised they would have to deal with the Arian/Canadian menace, and somehow remove his vile enchantments from the hull of the beast. It was at that moment that the rest of the team arrived, and joined the fray. Knowing that something needed to be done to stop the colossal machine from reaching the United States, Professor Badass strode in front of the machine with no hesitation. Calling upon all his strength, willpower and badassery, the Professor gave the earthmover a harsh stare. The machine instantly grinded to a halt. The professor wished to help his comrades, but he knew that if he moved, Captain Killdozer would continue his rampage into America. For any normal human, the stare of Professor Badass would have stopped their heart and melted their brain. It was too bad that Captain Killdozer was no ordinary human. Seeing his foes approach, the Ghost of Hitler smiled. He had expected a fight, but not a challenge. The undead fuehrer muttered a quick incantation and cast a bright green light from his fingers to the ground in front of our heroes. They stopped in their tracks and prepared themselves for whatever foul tricks Hitler had prepared. Moments later the ground where the light had struck began shifting. "This looks familiar, doesn't it Freddy?" Bowie quipped. Freddy simply grinned. Both rock stars walked toward the shifting earth. From it burst forth a horde of Goblins. "We can deal with this!" yelled Freddy. "Go help Vlad!". The Phelps and Technoviking raced around the goblin/rock star brawl, and continued their advance toward the earthmover. "This is just like old times, David!" shouted Freddy as he struck his microphone nunchucks into the jaw of a Goblin berserker. "Great times!" Bowie replied as Goblins fell to his power. The mighty lungs of Technoviking blew into the horn of Valhalla. Battle was joined and techno beats filled the air. The Phelps leaped into the air, and with a mighty dive, pierced the packed earth of the battlefield. It is a little known fact that The Phelps can swim through nearly any material, provided he has enough energy. This is why his food intake is astronomically high. While The Phelps made his charge under land, Technoviking began to make his charge over land. Pumping his arm to the techno beats of his mighty Viking horn, he began to walk. Gaining power from every beat and every step, making his way toward the earthmover, waiting for the right time to unleash his Norse fury. He did not have to wait long. While Hitler was distracted by Freddy Mercury and David Bowie making short work of his minions, Putin crept up behind him and landed a solid blow with his rifle on the back of the Necro-Fuhrer's neck. The hull of the earthmover shimmered briefly as Hitler's protective enchantments waned. Technoviking saw his chance and pointed with all of his viking might at one of the earthmover's treads. It snapped instantly, as if obeying the Norse God of manliness. Captain Killdozer wasn't going anywhere now, and Professor Badass was now free to kick some ass, with gusto. Knowing that Putin would need help against the Ghost of Hitler, the dynamic duo of Professor Badass and Technoviking leaped up onto the sides of the earthmover, with David Bowie not far behind them. "Finish off here, Freddy!" he called. "These blokes will need help against Hitler's wizardry." Freddy nodded while casually breaking a Goblin's neck. Atop the earthmover, Putin and Hitler had engaged in hand-to-hand combat. Putin knew he was the superior fighter, having wrestled bears and Siberian tigers in his youth. But he also knew that he was at a disadvantage here. Hitler may not be his match in martial arts, but he did have an advantage in the arcane arts. Every punch came with the added threat of a fireball or lightning bolt. As if reading his thoughts, the Fuhrer's fist glowed white hot as he delivered an uppercut into Vladimir's stomach. Putin doubled over, clutching his stomach. He expected death would come swiftly if he did not recover. But his expectations were answered with a large thud. Where the Prime Minister of Canada once stood, there was now Professor Badass. Hitler's Ghost was knocked back by his powerful right hook. Hitler righted himself and prepared to attack again. That is until he realised his right hand was severed. Let it be known that in the hands of David Bowie, even guitar strings become lethal weapons, as the Ghost of Hitler just found out. Not that is mattered much to him though. It wasn't his hand anyway. Seeing a chance to finish the battle, Bowie began muttering under his breath while Putin, Technoviking and the Professor went on the offensive, keeping Hitler off balance. For the first time in 2 years, Bowie was summoning the power of Voodoo. Busy dealing with the onslaught of the others, Hitler would not make any counter spells. The Prime Minister of Canada's body was engulfed in flames as the Ghost of Hitler was ripped from his body. Now free of Hitler's influence, the Prime Minister of Canada began to weep openly due to his injuries. "Tsk!" said Putin. "This weakling is allowed to run a country?" The others simply shrugged. Professor Badass spoke up, "Now let's deal with Captain Killdozer!" Once Freddy caught up to the group, Putin once again struck the hull of the earthmover with his Gypsy rifle. This time, cleaving open a wide entrance. Before they could enter though, a huge rumble came from within the machine and the corpse of Captain Killdozer was spat out from the hole, closely followed by The Phelps now sporting a rather manly beard. The Phelps explained that when the enchantments on the hull weakened, he swam upwards, tearing through the armoured underbelly of the machine. It had taken him a few minutes to find the cockpit of the gigantic thing, but once he did find it, Captain Killdozer could not stand up to his awesome strength. The manliness of the battle had also caused him to sprout a beard. Hitler may have escaped, but at least his current plans were spoiled. Our heroes banded together for a massive group high five. The shock of which obliterated the rest of the earthmover and the surrounding area for 15 miles. Then they all went out for tacos. The End.
And now a preview of the next chapter: ----------------------------------------- “You fool, you know not what you trifle with” the demonically empowered fuehrer bellowed across the flaming abyss “No, it’s you who has miscalculated,” MYSTERY HERO TO BE REVEALED LATER replied calmly “I know that your new body means you are now bound to the Demon Code”. The beast snarled at the name. “Hitler’s ghost, I challenge you to guitar battle!” the creature roared with rage. “Your terms?” “I win, you get banished back to hell. If you win you get the planet handed to you on a platter.” “Then it is set. Chose your weapon.” the creature drew the outline of a massive Flying V, which soon materialized. It was the axe of Lucifer himself, its neck made of human bones and its body made of pure dragonforce imbued with the souls of countless dead rockers. “Are you sure about this?” asked the Bowie “you don’t even have a guitar” MYSTERY HERO simply turned to Technoviking and nodded. Technoviking pointed to the heavens. He pointed with all his might until his body began to tremble, his eyes bulged and a vein on his forehead looked like it was about to explode. At the spot he was pointing at, a portal to Valhalla itself was opened and descending from it was a shining object laced with lightning. As it neared the ground MYSTERY HERO stepped forward and reached into the light and grabbed what was within. The light faded to reveal a jet black Gibson Explorer crackling with eldritch energy. There was a single word engraved on its face, “Mjolnir” With a flick of his clawed hand, Hitler broke the ledge he was standing on away from the earth and propelled it out over the abyss. MYSTERY HERO stepped forward onto his ledge as it followed suit. The two halves met in the middle of the void. The stage was set, hovering ominously above the gate to hell. Hitler ran a talon down the neck of his axe, blue flame following in its wake. He lifted his pick to the sky and proclaimed: “LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!”
So far, the Badass League consists of: Professor Badass Technoviking Putin Beerbarian The Phelps Mr Cool Ice David Bowie Freddie Mercury back from the dead
>>8253 dont know about mr cool ice, but i think beerbarian could make a cameo
>>8255 Mr Cool Ice could be an Iceman type character.
Troy Hurtubise as real-life Iron Man.
>>8258 I'd like Troy more if his stuff actually worked, but he seems more like a snake salesman than a scientist. His 'proof' doesn't seem real. It seems like showmanship, and he's of the mentality that the only reason the military aren't buying his shit is because of 'unknown' reasons. If his shit really worked, I'm sure they'd put it into production.
>>8258 thumbnail looks like he has a shoulder cannon, also dude never realized that if he really wants some great armor he needs to incorporate a robotic exoskeleton and probably a shoulder canon. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ4J69EEpu4
>>8259 >>8260 I'm pretty sure its just because they've realized he's just doing a lower-grade version of the stuff they've had SARCO working on for awhile now. Or they just had DARPA steal it.
>>8263 Troy's 'Spartan' armor incorporates his 13-13 anti-fire resin stuff, blasting pads and his crap from the Grizzly suit. It's just an inferior product, inferior design and probably nothing that he's contributed would be of value. :( It's not even low grade compared to what they've been doing. He's just a media whore.
>>8268 >>8260 combine the two
Hey quick, someone. Draw this.
Does anyone else think that we ought to include Jackie Chan? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cI1AwZN4ZYg
>>8289 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1cHynIXweE
>>8289 The guy is fucking hardcore. I suspect he is also immortal. Check out some of the injuries he's had. >Head Injury while crashing through a billboard and glass window (He jumped through the wrong billboard). >Chan and his crew were filming in Yugoslavia and the scene called for him to jump from a wall to a tree branch. The first take went perfectly, but Jackie wasn't satisfied and had wanted to do the scene once more. The second time, his grip on the branch slipped and Jackie fell 40 feet to the ground below. Jackie Chan landed hard on his head, causing part of his skull to crack and shoot up into his brain. He was flown to the hospital and was in surgery 8 hours later. He now has a plastic plug, and a permanent hole in his head. He is also slightly hard of hearing in one ear from that fall. >Arm got slashed by a sword that was supposed to have a blunted edge. Jackie fell down screaming, and the cameras kept on rolling; that scene displayed real blood. >He has also broken his left ankle so many times, he can no longer rely on it while pushing for a jump and must use his right foot instead. >Dislocated sternum after falling from a handing chain. >A wire went through his leg. >Bruises and cuts on his chest from repeatedly being kicked in chest 43 times for one scene. >His legs got crushed between two cars. >His brow ridge was injured and he almost lost an eye. >Burned all the skin off of his hands and suffered 3rd degree burns on them during a pole slide stunt. >Fractured a rib when hit by a helicopter. >Broke previously broken toe on right foot. He popped it back into place and continued to film Rush Hour 2. >Got Glass Shards lodged in his butt. >He has also broken his fingers, toes, nose, both cheekbones, his hips, sternum, dislocated his pelvis, broke his neck and ribs on numerous occasions while filming. And the list just goes on....
>>8291 He could be like Asian Deadpool. Only with physical comedy.
>hit by a helicopter. wat
>>8291 He has an ungodly amount of luck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1G8GkjWFXs Check out 7:50. That's where the fight REALLY gets interesting.
>>8295 And here's the fight from "Wheels on Meals": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdXdimITCnc
>>8291 >Broke previously broken toe on right foot. He popped it back into place and continued to film Rush Hour 2. That's hardcore.
I propose Goldust as a recurring minor villain.
Fresh from /co/
little did our heroes know that the entire fight was being watched, "they don't know what the're getting into" said a dark voice "they will soon". "These Tacos are actually kinda good" said The Phelps taking another bite out of his dish "what's in this?". "poison" answered the Taco stand cook, it wasn't long before our heroes fell asleep their manliness weakening the poison don't to just a sleeping agent. Putin was the first to open his eyes, they we're laying in a dark room surrounded by hooded figures, he stared at them, yet they did not budge, these we're men of the highest level of manliness, "you don't know what you're up against", said one of the characters. suddenly Freddy jumped up swinging his powerful rock fist at the man only to be stopped by a guitar. "let us introduce our selfs" said another taking off his hood, it was TEODOR ROOSEVELT "it cannot be" said The Professor, "it can" said another one now visibly Sigmund Freud the last figure, who held the guitar, took it's hood off too and revealed himself to be Elvis our heroes didn't know what they got them selfs into.
>>9764 I loved The Perfect Storm!
Vladamir Putin waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were cyborg nazi zombies in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Professor Badass were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. Putin was in the Baddas Brigade for four months. When he was young he watched the elections and he said to dad "I want to be on the goverenment daddy." Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY NAZI ZOMBIE CYBORGS" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the abandonded sub base of the USSR he knew there were nazi cyborgs. "This is Professor Badass" the radio crackered. "You must fight the Nazi zombies!" So Vladimir gotted his AK-47 assult rifle and blew up the wall. "HE GOING TO KILL US" said the nazi zombie cyborgs "I will shoot at him" said the undead nazi officer in power armour and he fired the rocket missiles. Vlad AK-47'd at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill. "No! I must kill the nazis" he shouted The radio said "No, Vladimir. You are the demons" And then vladimir was a zombie. Zombie Putin shuffeled along amongst his undead kin when suddenley the Phelps erupted from the ground beneath him, followed closely by technoviking who promptley tore the arm of the nearest zombie cyborg. then he started to beat the rest to death with it. The Phelps made his way to Putins discared AK-47. despite his objections, he knew his orders and would follow them. aiming the gun at its former owner, Pelps aproached Putin. his corrupted comrade turned, groaning, and lurched toward him "forgive me..." the Phelps whispered and struck zombie Putin in the forehead with the butt of the rifle. but instead of the shower of rotting brains he expected, he was greeted by a flash of light that sent Putin sprawling. "but how?" "10 years ago to this day i rescued a gypsy from a ravenous bear" Putin said, getting to his feet, "she said shee could see my future, and she would reward my deed by blessing my rifle with her gypsy magic in anticipation of this very day. does that answer your questions?" the Phelps merely nodded. "good, now let us kick some zombie german cybernetic ass"
Bumping this old thread because I didnt want to make a new one with just this video. How does Ron "Typewrieter" Mingo relate to Professor Badass? Because I really think he should. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Itz2ghPDiEY
>>18584 only if possessed by the ghost of James Joyce.
