Originally started by some guys on /a/ then migrating to /co/ because /a/ has a douchebag community, The project first started in November 09 is the revision and sometimes complete rewrite of the events of Digimon Adventures 01 and 02, along with the addition of a mini-arc converting the Ryo Akiyama video games into a story that fits into the series and a planned Crisis Crossover between the Digimon Multiverse There are no OCs, no Fan-Digimon, no random use of Japanese, just a straight up Rework of a 10 year old show and it's sequel (with most of the 'Re-write' focusing on the sequel) Without spoiling everything the addition of the Seven Great Demon Lords, Mega for everyone, a Change to the Digivice and in 02's case an entire new plot after the Kaiser arc. The story is divided into 3 'chapters' and 2 'movies' The Taichi chapter (the original 8) the Ryo chapter (The bridging between S1 and S2) and the Daisuke chapter (The new group) along with the Childrens Wargame movie (It's mostly the same just some details need changing) and what doesn't have an official name and due to lack of creativity is named Crisis on Infinite Earths.
>>21357 http://www.digimonforceteam.co.nr/ Welcome to the Digimonforceteam for digimon believers all over the world!
Anything special happening to Wizardmon up in here?
>>26016 Good question, why hadn't I thought thought about that? I'm thinking he should still sacrifice himself, but maybe we bring him back during Crossroads. Maybe.
>>26069 Well I do have a plan for Wizardmon in Crossroads My Idea is to have Ken assemble the Royal Knights, one of them being Dynasmon, Wizardmon had evolved due to the degrading walls between the multiverse and returned to Life as Mystimon, when the X-Antibody begins to spread he evolves to Dynasmon X and is instrumental in breaking Hikari out of the Crest of Lusts corruption (Remember that Daisuke and Takeru were injured and unable to do anything until the X-Antibodys reached them) so he ends up breaking Hikari out of it. What do you think of that
>>26070 Sounds like a plan.
>>26115 UNF. Ah, sorry. But yeah, Wizardmon needs to catch a break.
>>26070 Wizardmon getting a chance to be a Big Damn Hero? I'm all for that.
>>26793 Wizardmon has always been a big damn hero. of my heart~ <3
Is this dead or what? Seriously, what's the plan here? Are we just going to keep chatting about our "plans" or are we actually going to have something to show off?
>>27845 Well I've been sick, along with several assignments. my exam is June 18th and then I'm free of all obligations. you know Uni sorta comes before this as much as I love Digimon
>>27871 You see, that's part of the problem. I thought this was going to be a group thing. It's not fair to push everything to you.
>>27922 Well if people want to submit there own stuff they can I encourage that.
>>28155 There won't really be many submissions from others without some sort of structure and guidance. People need to feel like part of the team. I propose we start organizing your staff, and once the staff is organized, you can delegate responsibilities and all that. Project Lead: Omni? Design Lead: Omni? Designers: ??? Writing Lead: Omni? Writers: ??? Art Lead: ??? Artists: ??? Marketing and Publicity: ???
>>27845 I just haven't had any ideas to post.
>>21718 A late reply to an old suggestion, but I'd discourage doing something like voting, because Takari fans outnumber Daikari fans, unless the vote gets twisted to poll only a small subgroup of the population, which defeats the whole purpose of a poll to begin with.
This is my first time seeing anything on this project, I got linked here from /co/ just a little while ago. I like the entire idea very much but I do have a couple of questions. Is Omni just coming up with the basic script and ideas, or writing the entire final version by himself? From what I saw of the first episode writeup he's very good at getting ideas across but the writing style, in either first or third person, was quite frankly painful to read in some places. It also seems that with multiple people writing for it it might be hard to maintain a consistent style, but that just might be my belief in that no large project will ever go as planned. If the project does get off the ground, I'd be more than willing to help; I've got almost zero going on over the next couple of months, and from there it depends on my university workload. Publicizing this shouldn't be too hard, depending on the stage at which it needs more publicizing for what reasons, and one a writing style is defined I could submit a sample if some more writers or editors are needed for the project. At any rate, I'll be keeping an eye on this thread, it's really amazing how much detail has gone into this over the last half year or so.
Will there be Cthulhumon?
>>22542 And what about Demon Super Ultimate? Sorry if these questions have been answered but i arrived really late to the party. Also, if you want to attach sins to other demon lords who dont have one, there are more sins beyond the big 7. Including Despond, Vainglory, Extravegence and Acedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins
Patience everyone.Something good is coming up.
Looking through some of your older stuff: >Remember that in this re-write tactics and planning make a big difference in a fight compared to simply brute forcing your way through, so acting irrationally like that means you can't lead. I take it Tai and Davis are going to get quite the character revision then?
>>28410 >>28412 There will be Cuthulumon, and plenty of him. No extra sins, because there are only 7 Demon Lords, these guys aren't fan made. Daemon Super Ultimate will show, being the big bad of 02.
>>28472 Yep, no more just strong-arming their way through fights. In the begining of 02 Tai and Agumon take down the Kaiser's army using their tactics.
>>28454 Can't wait to see what you got so far.
Ah, what the hell. Sign me up for your writing staff if you want. I won't be able to spontaneously contribute stuff because I've already got my hands full with other stuff, but if you tell me to write something, I'll write it.
>>28560 That wasn't me Curt... >>28831 Good to have you onboard. >>28409 I'de ask that you give me a more detailed critique of the writing. Not cause I'm insulted but because I realize that I need to improve and I simply wont if no one tells me "Okay this was bad, try to do this more" I am very open to constructive criticisim. And Chapter 1's Alpha will be posted Tommorow Australian time. The reason it hasn't been posted yet is quite frankly I've been sleeping through most of the day and night. Waking up at 2 PM and still being tired leads me to believe I have a problem. But it's strict working tommorow. Again leave PLENTY of constructive criticisim, I will not get any better if you people don't tell me "Onmi this needs to change." I'de also like to exchange e-mail addresses with the team members, It's simply easier to contact you all through email than posting on here and hoping you see it. Mine's in the field.
>>28842 I've been had then.
>>28842 Or is this an impostor? Great, now we can't trust anyone.
Here's a sample of the new writing, critique the hell out of it. The rest will be up later “Okay you guys can come out now” It could have been a trick and in hindsight I would never have rushed out so recklessly again, but in this case it was worth it as me and Koushiro came face to face with Sora. I swear I could see tears in the little guys eyes as we hugged her. Then of course our eyes drifted to the small pink plant monster next to her. “Let me guess,” Koushiro started “You're own personal little... whatever they are?” he asked, Sora nodded “It-” “She” the little plant thing was a mouthy one I'll tell you that. “She,” Sora started glaring daggers into it... her, whatever “Says her name is Yokomon” I rolled my eyes and realized for the past minute and a half I had my arms tightly wrapped around my best friends, it seemed that I was a bit more shaken up by the experience than I cared to admit out loud. “Anyway” I said as Koromon clung to my back, “We should probably find the others if there here. After we're all together we can figure out where the hell we are and what we can do to get back-” “You're in the-” I reached my hand back and swatted Koromon. “-home, where ever that is.” I concluded. We didn't have to look far, the first encounter was Mimi and Jou who were both crying and having a panic attack over there respective situations. That is Mimi was currently suspended from a tree as her partner Tanamon tried to get her down without opposable thumbs or giving her a concussion. She never explained exactly how she got trapped but apparently her first instinct was to climb a tree to get away from what she perceived as a threat
Sora climbed up the tree with skill and precision as she pulled Mimi up and untangled her leg. “I owe you one Sora,” she said as she slid down the tree and retrieved her cowboy hat, for no reason at all she turned her back to us and then tilted her hat forward and stuck a pose, he head half turned to us, “Still needs a little work I mean I don't have anything to hold while I'm doing it,” she said. I was becoming convinced we were all a little unhinged, as for Jou... “GeditoffGeditoffGeditoffGeditoffGeditoffGeditoffoffoffoffoffOFF!” Not exactly the most dignified showing, but understandable. See his partner Pukamon was so happy to see him he just sorta latched onto his back and never let go. Now he latched onto Jou's blind spot so he couldn't see whatever was on him but he knew something was there. Mimi had heard him screaming and was trying to tell him when she fell from the branch and tangled her legs in the vine. By comparison our hiding tree escapades were starting to look dignified, well we couldn't have that so we found Yamato and Takeru sitting down on some smooth rocks as they listened intently to there partners... okay Yamato listened intently, Takeru was playing around with his partner Tokomon and generally doing what a little kid should. I was actually kinda envious of the both of them, here we had panicked and thrown out half questions and answers but Yamato had held it together to get things straight with his and Takeru just accepted the whole thing and decided to have a blast. So there we were sitting on smooth stones as our Partners lined up to face us. “First question,” Jou asked having recovered his composure enough to represent us “What are you, and don't go shouting off your names we know that much, what is your collective species?” Jou definitely got through to the creatures, and Koromon hopped forward to represent them. “We're Digimon, or rather everything is a Digimon here, except for the things that didn't evolve that far.” Koushiro whispered in Sora's ear, “You have a pencil or something? I want to take notes on this” Sora glanced back at him. “Koushiro we were playing in the snow when we came here I didn't have time to grab any stationary. Why don't you just use your laptop?” Koushiro waited all of 3 seconds before pulling out his laptop computer and hurriedly typing out notes. “And were are we?” Jou continued. “The Digital World.” several things happened then. I froze in confusion, Sora seemed to have a smile spreading on her face while Koushiro began writing a few paragraphs of speculation. Mimi looked concerned, and Yamato was holding Takeru close to him, Takeru to his credit took this in stride and didn't cry. Jou didn't seem phased by what they said, after a few moments of silence he responded. “How did we come here?” but before they could answer a familiar buzzing I had associated with fear had returned. It was then I noticed what I failed to before, the Digivice was heating up around my wrist as danger approached. “We have to go now.” I said as Koushiro noticed the same thing and closed his laptop putting it away. Yamato looked at his wrist then at me, he didn't say anything but he gave me a slight nod which felt reassuring. Koushiro may agree with my decisions because he's my friend but Yamato was someone I had to earn the respect of. We took off our Digimon leading the way, we ducked in and out of trees as the buzzing sound grew louder. I was at the head of the pack and turned my head slightly to see Sora urging Mimi on, Takeru riding on Yamato's shoulders as he forged ahead, Koushiro keeping a brisk pace as Jou was in the rear making sure no one fell behind. I would like to say we were moving in strategic formation, but really we were just adhering to our personal traits and Jou would never leave someone behind. The old saying goes 'I don't have to be the fastest, just faster than the slowest guy' well in Jou's case he would rather futilely fight than leave someone behind. We arrived at a cliff face just outside the forest as we slowed down. We were tired, running on the soccer pitch was one thing but dodging around tree's and natures bumps and ditches wore you out. Even in peak physical condition a 12 year old is still 12 and even then our guides weren't very good. “A cliff face is the worst possible place we could be,” Yamato gasped as he let Takeru down, he looked to the rest of us “Do we have any sort of rope we could climb down, and even then we don't have a boat of any kind to brave the water which most likely leads off a waterfall. And worst of all-” he was cut off as Kuwagamon made a pass over us, Yamato flattened Takeru and Koushiro to the ground as Jou knocked Sora down. Mimi didn't need anyone to warn her and just dropped as did I. “Worst of all is we can't retreat.” Yamato shouted over the loud buzzing as Kuwagamon landed in front of us. I described how the wave felt earlier, how it felt like my body was dying. I realized that the same thoughts were flying through my head now, that I was going to die and that this thing was going to kill me. “Attack!” Tsunomon shouted, it was the first time I had heard the little guy speak and all of a sudden a wall of pink bubbles crashed on Kuwagamon, it was as effective as it sounded, and Koushiro shook his head “There is no way we can beat that thing...” Tokomon opened his jaw to reveal row after row of sharp teeth as he attempted to bite Kuwagamons leg but it was worthless as Kuwagamon beat his giant wings sending the Digimon flying back to us. “You're done enough!” Mimi cried out, “You can save yourselves you don't have to keep fighting” but her pleas didn't stop them from hoisting themselves up and charging Kuwagamon again. Sora was standing transfixed at the battle as Yamato was searching for a way out. “We have to win!” Jou shouted, “C'mon Pukamon, I'm not running away!” “Tokomon! I wont lose you!” “Tanemon! We have so much to talk about.” “Yokomon! You and me can get stronger!” “Motimon!” “Koromon!” “Tsunomon! You have to protect everyone.” I wouldn't have an explanation as to how this worked until later but our Digivices began to glow as the Digimon were enveloped in eggs of light. I glanced at the device on my list while black letters pulsed softly on the screen. Evolution. In place of the assortment of underdeveloped and pink monsters was a yellow dinosaur, a dog beast, a plant monster, a golden hamster, a pink bird, a white seal creature and a red bug creature. Was that evolution? “Taichi!” The yellow dinosaur shouted at me “I'm Agumon now” He tightened his clawed hand into a fist. “I'm Gabumon, Yamato. And I'll protect everyone” the dog creature said as blue flames danced around his mouth. The sink bird unleashed a spiral of green fires which struck one of Kuwagamons eyes as he thrashed around. “Sora, you can call me Piyomon.” The white seal began striking at tree's with deadly looking claws, “Gomamon” he shot at Jou before going back to work. As one of the tree's fell a bullet of compressed air sent it flying into Kuwagamons face, the Golden hamster thing was flying “I'm Patamon, and Takeru I'll always be by your side” striking the burn at the eye the plant monster shot a smile back at Mimi “I'm-” “Palmon I know it says on the screen” Mimi responded back as I looked to my digivice. Sure enough it had Agumon on the screen where evolution had been. “Tentomon, can you fly?” Koushiro asked as he looked around the forest. Tentomon was the Red beetle I assumed as it nodded back at Koushiro and then took to the air unleashing an electric blast at Kuwagamons injured eye. And here in lies our first problem. I can't write fights to save my life. I can choreograph them, I understand the concept and tactics I can even visualize them. But come putting pen to paper something clicks inside me that makes them suck. Oh yeah it gets kinda cluttered near the end when I'm trying to introduce all the rookies. I guess we COULD always forgoe the baby step, every other Digimon series did it for a reason. Also do we sit down and describe each Digimon or just call them by name. People who will be reading this are going to be fans, they already know what these guys look like
>>29076 Like you said, since anyone reading this would already be a fan, I think its best to just call them by name.
Only skimmed it, but I'll have more in-depth feedback later. Just from the first skim through, there are a lot of punctuation problems.
>>29108 Don't be afraid to ream me a new asshole because I will never learn otherwise.
I too only skimmed, it, and it actually looks a lot better than the earlier stuff, but like the guy above me said, the grammar and punctuation have some pretty bad problems. Most of it just seems like problems with punctuation and such after a quote or someone's speech, inadvertently creating a run-on sentence of sorts in some places, like the following line: [The old saying goes 'I don't have to be the fastest, just faster than the slowest guy' well in Jou's case he would rather futilely fight than leave someone behind. ] There are also quite a few sentences that could benefit from extra commas or semicolons, or in some cases just splitting them up into multiple sentences. As for whether or not we describe the Digimon, I actually think from a literary standpoint it's a better idea that we do rather than don't. In-universe, the characters would _want_ whoever they're describing their adventures to to understand what they're talking about, and it's beneficial to either fans who have forgotten things over the years, or even possibly new readers who may be attracted to the project. I'm the same guy as >>28409, and like I said I have plenty of free time if any extra help is needed writing/editing/advertising, although I'm afraid I can't do a lot in the way of fight choreography either. I'll be watching, and I more or less put my e-mail in the field if anyone wants to contact me.
>>29143 Okay that was very helpful. Anyone who wants to have a crack this is the fight in summation ~A whole bunch of futile attacks with the chosen children not really working together, they get smacked around a lot and do superficial damage (setting up the plot point in the next chapter that they are all injured). ~Jou and Koushiro managing to get everyone unified using Taichi (the brains are Jou and Koushiro there just using his charisma, which is how he starts the series, charismatic but no actual knowledge). ~Palmon restrains Kuwagamon as the fliers (Patamon, Tentomon and Piyomon) make life hell for him via dive bombing and the like. Kuwagamon can't fly becaus Palmon is secreting a poison from it's vines (it's called Poison Ivy, it's a logical jump) In the mean time Gomamon is smashing up tree's which fall onto Kuwagamon as Agumon and Gabumon set the tree's alight. The fight ends with the chosen children attempting to escape, mostly by just plain old bombarding Kuwagamon with the 7 Digimon and by retreating down the cliff, with Palmon using her vines as ropes, and Gomamon summoning his fish. The last one down is Jou (fits his personality, no man left behind) but Kuwagamon gets up (they are after all only recently evolved Child level digimon) and flys after them, they are saved by a ball of fire which caves Kuwagamons head in (fired from Leomon but THEY don't know that) Also again asking. Should we forgoe the Baby/In-Training step as it's really cumbersome or keep it because it's truer to the original?
>>29154 I think we should keep the baby forms, like Tai, he's a lot less likely to freak if he wakes up to Koromon on his chest than Agumon bent over him staring. As for the fight scenes, maybe Individual Will could do them, his fight scenes are quite good.
I got it! I know how to introduce the demon lords early enough to develop them as characters during the Dark Masters story arc. They are already awake, but since the Digital World still exists (even misshapen) they can't move on the Forest of the Gods. During the Dark Masters arc the kids encounter them (separately, and none of them introducing themselves as a Demon Lord) each one trying to tempt there respective child (directly this time unlike what Chibi-Devimon did) So Lucemon trys to make Taichi prideful and overconfident, Belphemon tries to make Yamato slothful and unable to assist his friends, Barbamon tries to make Koushiro greedy and hording, Lilithmon (even though she's fought by Hikari, she is supposed to be assigned to the Crest of Love, Sora) tries to make Sora desire everything. And so on and so forth. Then when they finally destroy the Dark Masters, those 7 appear and utterly trash them allowing them to reformat the world themselves, choosing to remove the protection on the Forest of the Gods. They head towards it so they can grow more powerful and break the barrier between the worlds.
Just FYI, I think you have a few trope names confused. You probably want "Berserk Button" and not "Knight Templar" on TK unless you all plan on subjecting him to some massive Flanderization.
>>29336 No it's Knight Templar, he wants to eradicate evil where ever he finds it. it's not flanderization it's just the evil isn't a slap on the wrist. Tell me you've spent months on end as an 8 year old fighting demons, demons who have killed friends, demons who have tried to kill you and control your planet. He has no love for Nightmare Soldiers, his Digimon is based around the utter DESTRUCTION of Nightmare Soliders. A kid died when he wasn't there, not a digimon who was just going to come back. Ryo's death kicked all the chosen children in the nads, but especially Takeru because he's the one who's supposed to kill demons. It is a character flaw that makes him an ineffective leader because he wants to kill them whenever they show up. a 'True' Knight Templar who utterly kills everything against the "Law" is what he fears becoming, and what his version of the dark world is, a perverse paradise where he reigns as king standing over the corpses of his enemies. Here's the no.1 thing you have to remember, this isn't a transcription of the series into chapters, it is a re-write.
>a 'True' Knight Templar who utterly kills everything against the "Law" is what he fears becoming, and what his version of the dark world is, a perverse paradise where he reigns as king standing over the corpses of his enemies. See, that's the thing. That's not really a Knight Templar then. A defining feature is to have no hesitation or doubt. If he's going to be afraid of becoming like that, he's not a Knight Templar. I'd still say you're better off with Berserk Button.
>>29348 We aren't going to be describing him as a Knight Templar or having a Berserk Button in story. Lets get SMT up in here. Takeru is the Law hero before he goes batshit law crazy.
Tropers get pissy over the exact details of tropes
>>29384 Correction, Tropers get pissy when trope names are inaccurately applied.
I'm attempting to write the fight and I'll post it after I'm done, we'll decide then whether or not to proceed with me doing them or someone else trying there hand.
This re-write feels like it's begging for an Urasawa-style rendering.
>>29559 If Urasawa gave Digimon the Pluto treatment I would just die of joy.
If you can't get an artist to make a comic, have you ever considered trying to make this in the style of a light novel? Just have a few pictures depicting a few important scenes every chapter is a much smaller time commitment for an artist than a full-blown comic.
>>29693 Actually that's what I wanted to do, I just haven't been able to find a good enough artist.
Who is off the opinion of beginning a new topic that isn't quite so large and is more detailed?
Will Armor digivolution be in this re-write? I actually enjoyed that bit of season 2. Also will you be using the card game's idea with allowing the ability to armor digivole with different eggs?
>>29818 Yes and Yes, only highlight these spoilers if you wanna be spoiled For the most part the Digimon only have the armor evolutions they had in the show, but in the final battle against Ken the push the Digimentals to there limits allowing all 6 digimon to evolve with a single Digimental. In the end all 8 of the Digimentals are broken and they form the Digimental of Miracles, which they again use so all 5 chosen can Armor evolve at once. This is how were explaining armor evolution out to introduce normal evolution.
